Sorry for the delay on this everybody! Had a few snags that I had to work through but I'm going to try to update again sometime this week! Thanks to everyone who favorited, followed, reviewed and took the time to read! You're awesome!
Nicotine and Faded Dreams
Brittany finds herself in the passenger seat of her own car not too long after the whole crashing and burning incident, hand cradled carefully to her chest as residual tear tracks still paint her cheeks.
It didn't take long for Santana to completely start freaking out the moment she realized Brittany was legitimately hurt. She'd run frantically around Brittany's apartment, taking orders from Brittany on where she could find some loose and comfortable clothes for them both. She managed to trip over Lord Tubbington not once, but three times before she managed to get sweats and some hoodies for them both and carefully help Brittany get dressed in them.
The whole time was spent with Santana profusely apologizing while also having spurts of moments where she just cupped Brittany's face in her hands and kissed her like there was no tomorrow. Those moments took the pain away a little for Brittany, while she kept telling Santana that it wasn't her fault.
They'd finally managed to wander out to Brittany's car where Santana had been a complete gentlewoman and ensured that Brittany was buckled in and as comfortable as possible and had placed a very tender and affectionate kiss upon Brittany's forehead before she'd gotten into the driver's seat and speed on her way towards the hospital.
Brittany only feared for her life a little bit when Santana swerved through traffic and yelled obscenities in Spanish, but figured at the same time it was probably best to get them there as fast as possible.
When they arrive at the emergency portion of the hospital Santana carefully helps Brittany from the car, warming her heart when she places another tender kiss, this time to her lips, on her before escorting her through a throng of people and into the building. Even though Brittany stumbles over the threshold for the automatic doors at the entrance, Santana is there to catch her.
They proceed to the counter and Santana very firmly demands that Brittany get some immediate attention. They are told they have to wait a little while, and must sign in. They're then ushered to the seating area.
Which is where they can still be found, two hours later.
Santana checks Brittany's temperature again, she's been burning up lately and she can see the way her right wrist has swelled proportionally. She gave Brittany a few OTC painkillers when they sat down, but the drugs don't appear to be doing much so far. She sits on Brittany's left, her fingers wound firmly in Brittany's free hand, her lips pressing reassuring kisses to Brittany's knuckles and cheek every so often.
A shuddering breath escapes Brittany's lips as she gazes towards Santana, "If I get a cast San, can I have a blue one with unicorns on it?"
A smile pulls at Santana's lips and she nods, leaning in to kiss Brittany's lips, "Yeah Britt, you can have whatever you want. Even if I have to draw the unicorns on there myself."
That makes Brittany feel better for a second until another, rather important and semi embarrassing thought occurs to her.
"When the doctor asks how this happened, am I supposed to say that you were riding my leg so hotly that I got distracted and teetered backwards on the chair or do I just tell him we were having really incredible sex and it kind of got out of control?" Brittany inquires seriously and Santana's eyes immediately go wide and dart around to the surrounding people, a few of who obviously heard the words that came out of Brittany's mouth.
She's not embarrassed to be seen kissing Brittany, or holding her hand and on occasion she wouldn't mind the miniscule detail about amazing sex to be divulged between friends, but she never thought about having it discussed in the middle of a room full of people she doesn't know. Plus, the concept of telling the doctor is slightly embarrassing.
"How about we just tell him it was an accident and leave it at that?" Santana whispers back and watches the way Brittany's brow creases in confusion, indicating she needs to know a little more. "I don't really want anybody else knowing what we do behind closed doors Britt, that's between you and me."
Brittany contemplates this for a second, mulling it over in her head before she flashes a smile back at Santana and nods, "You're right, I don't really want anyone else knowing how loud you are and what you sound like when you come."
If Santana's face is flushed, she hopes to God that her ethnic skin is at least partially concealing it. She nods and leans in to kiss Brittany's lips again, doing her best to ignore the several pairs of eyes she knows are locked on her.
It makes everything worth it when she knows that in the end she'll still be the one leaving with Brittany and they can laugh about this later.
Probably.
###################
Another hour has passed and Brittany is still clutching her injured hand to her chest, the little edge the pain pills had taken off long since faded. The hurt in her eyes, that she refuses to acknowledge, absolutely kills Santana, but she's trying to stay calm and keep it together, for Brittany's sake.
"It's okay, I read a book about this." She informs Brittany, nodding her head in encouragement. "We just have to stay calm and collected. Keep it together."
Brittany nods, reasoning that's probably the best thing they could continue to do, and not quite sure if she'd be able to do anything else. It's nice that she has Santana here next to her, kissing her occasionally and holding her hand. She feels really special in that sense.
A few more minutes go by and Santana starts to really fidget.
"What the hell is taking so long?" She mumbles, mostly to herself, looking around as she watches yet another person who entered after her and Brittany urged off in the direction of care. Santana glances at Brittany, her features have gone from clammy and pale to sickly and almost deathly white.
She knows Brittany's been incredibly strong and so amazing this whole time, but she can also tell that the whole demeanor isn't going to last all night. Brittany is in a lot of pain.
Santana leans in and places another kiss against Brittany's dry and cracked lips, watching as murky blue eyes open to gaze at her. Santana smiles and cups Brittany's cheek, "You'll be okay Britt. I'm so sorry." She apologizes for the umpteenth time; she lost count a while ago.
Brittany shakes her head, weakly, and takes a slow breath, "This still isn't your fault Santana. I still think it was really really hot, and as soon as this pain goes away, I'll probably also say that it was worth it." She murmurs making the other woman giggle softly a little as a light flush spreads over her cheeks.
Pulling her injured hand closer to her chest, Brittany takes deep calming breaths and closes her eyes in an effort to try and ignore the pain. She feels Santana squeeze her other hand and it again makes her so thankful that Santana is here with her, even though she technically doesn't have to. Brittany reasons that Santana could have just decided the entire charade was too much and could have bailed, but she didn't, she's here still.
And she's acting very much like a girlfriend would.
A goofy smile blossoms across Brittany's face, despite that pain that's now radiating through most of the right side of her body, and she sighs contently. She's just about to open her eyes and ask Santana the one thing she's been dying too when she feels soft lips press into her own and her eyes flutter a little under the contact but are then quickly forced open where she watches Santana's demeanor change.
Right as Santana is brushing her lips delicately against Brittany's, she watches as another person, who literally just walked in a few seconds ago, is called for medical attention almost immediately after their entrance into the hospital. Santana's lips are pulling back from Brittany's as she jerks to her feet, rage suddenly radiating from her body in scary waves.
"Okay, that's it! Who the hell do I have to talk to around here to get some ATTENTION!"
Blue eyes go wide as Brittany watches Santana stand her ground, firmly, and whip her head back and forth to personnel walking past the emergency room nurses desk.
"Ma'am, you have to wait in the waiting area until a doctor becomes available-"
"No, you listen to me!" Santana cuts the woman behind the counter off with a point of her finger and a glare that Brittany's never seen before, but which strangely turns her on, "My girlfriend and I have been waiting here for over three hours and she's in serious pain."
If it hadn't been for the fact that right then Brittany momentarily lost her train of thought and briefly released her injured hand from support, she would have made a comment on what had just come out of Santana's mouth. But seeing as how she did drop her injured hand, what came out instead was a very convincing (because it was real) groan of pain before Santana is quickly at Brittany's side again comforting her.
A brown-eyed glare is flashed back towards the nurse's station, where a few horrified nurses have just witnessed the situation. Apparently Brittany's cry of pain was a very persuasive action because not one, not two, but three people suddenly rush forward to give Brittany and Santana assistance. She is carefully deposited into a wheelchair and Santana is allowed to push her away towards the x-ray and examine room.
Even though Brittany's still in a serious amount of pain, she's pretty sure she's never smiled bigger before in her life. All because of two little words that came out of Santana's mouth.
My girlfriend.
#####################
Brittany's is skeptical and surprised when the first thing that the doctor does for her, before even really checking her out, is hand her a couple of pills that he promises will really help ease the pain.
They do.
Considering she's never really taken many kinds of pain pills in the past, especially of the powerful prescription kind, she was gone about fifteen minutes after Santana helped her take the pills. Gone meaning Brittany was absolutely disregarding any sense of boundaries, privacy, and decorum. (Not that she knows what the hells going on in the first place to know the difference.)
Thirty minutes later, when she's back in the examine room getting her very broken wrist casted, things seem even more happy and bright to her. She's feeling like the luckiest girl in the world to have someone like Santana, and as if nothing could hurt her.
Brittany eyes rarely linger anywhere from Santana, as she sits on the examine table admiring how incredibly good the shorter woman looks in a pair of sweats and a hoodie. The sweats are obviously to long for her shorter frame, but Brittany still finds them super adorable on the woman.
Santana's so pretty.
"San…San…psst San," Brittany whispers, or so she thinks, to the woman seated it the chair across from the exam bed as she is talking to some guy in a white coat. Brown eyes snap over to hers and Brittany giggles. "Hey San…you're really pretty…like super beautiful." She mumbles out, her cheeks tinting pink and her eyes averting as she does. She doesn't immediately notice Santana standing from her spot and walking up next to her until a tan hand gently clasps onto Brittany's left hand and Santana tangles their fingers together with a reassuring squeeze.
Brittany glances up to see Santana smiling warmly at her before she leans down and places a pillow soft kiss to Brittany's temple and two on her cheek. Pale cheeks flush an even brighter shade of red at the action, but then Santana's whispering in her ear.
"And you're absolutely stunningly gorgeous yourself Brittany."
Someone clears their throat and shatters the peaceful moment; Brittany's eyes snap open and see the guy in the white coat smile kindly at her.
"My apologies for the interruption Ms. Pierce, but the quicker I go over this information with Ms. Lopez here, the quicker she can get you back home and settled in." Brittany nods at the words, not really knowing what this guy's talking about, but deciding to listen anyway, since Santana seems to be doing so.
Some time after white coat guy starts talking to Santana again, Brittany zones out. Only when she hears the words 'nature of this injury' does she suddenly blurt something else out into the room, not realizing that white coat guy had been telling Santana that he didn't need to know the nature of Brittany's injury.
"We were having sex! It was…amazing…" Brittany trails off, her eyes glazing over a bit as the only part of her brain that's functioning enough to be of use suddenly starts distracting her with images of said amazing sex.
And once again, the painkillers grab Brittany's attention and she doesn't even notice the shocked look that adorns the doctor, or the embarrassed wide-eyed one that Santana is wearing. Two sets of eyes blink before the doctor clears his throat again.
"Well Ms. Lopez," the doctor begins to say, "while I won't advise you against continuing participation in such activities, I must stress to you how important it is that you don't do anything as…um intense as what may have last transpired. At least until Ms. Pierce's wrist heals, and then after that maybe just continue to be careful."
She manages to supply a nod and a cordial thank you to the doctor before Santana takes the prescription for Brittany's pills and the instructions for care over the next six weeks and manages to usher Brittany out of there, before any other words slip from the blonde's unfiltered lips.
###################
Santana swings open the front door for Brittany and lets her walk through before closing it behind them and following Brittany to sit on her couch with her. Turning to her, Santana gently takes Brittany's free hand in her own and presses a few soft kisses across the knuckles, brown eyes locked with blue.
"I'm so sorry this happened Brittany."
Brittany blinks a few times thankful that the major loopiness the drugs caused has worn off significantly (for now) and shrugs as a smile crosses her face, "S'okay. It could have been worse."
Dark eyebrows furrow in confusion, "How could it have been worse?"
"You might not have called me your girlfriend earlier and I would have panicked and possibly not gone through with asking you the one thing I've wanted to ask you since I got to your house yesterday and dropped off your packages of sexy underwear and books." Brittany says all at once, her words almost tripping over themselves.
There's a moment of silence as first disbelief and then happy excitement flickers across Santana's face. Before she's leaning in and capturing Brittany's lips in her own in one very bruising kiss that literally steals the oxygen from Brittany's lungs and forces her to lean back, as Santana crawls on top of her and straddles her lap.
"I was so worried that wouldn't be okay when I said it, but you were in pain and no one was helping us and I just got fed up with everything and blurted it out before I even realized it. I'd wanted to formally ask you after…you know earlier…but then you got hurt and we were rushing to the emergency room and it was on my mind but I wasn't sure if you'd even still want to be-"
This time it's Santana who is cut off by her rambling from Brittany's very confident lips. She smiles as she pulls back from the brief kiss, keeping their noses touching.
"There's nothing else I'd want in this whole world than to get to call you my girlfriend."
Santana melts into Brittany, her nose tucking into the crook of Brittany's neck as she sighs out in content. "I'd love to be your girlfriend." She whispers before her lips press firmly into the pale skin underneath them. Brittany's arms reach out to wrap around Santana as she shifts them out to look into brown eyes, her casted arm steady in the process.
"You make me so happy." Santana whispers and Brittany pulls back to look at her again, cupping her cheek with her good hand before she leans in to press their lips together.
Brittany doesn't realize she's doing it until it's too late when she reaches out and tries to pull Santana closer with her injured hand, putting far too much pressure and strain on the injury and causing her to yelp in pain and jerk back. A pout covers both their faces as Brittany feels helpless and Santana feels partially responsible.
Gingerly taking Brittany's hands Santana places them on her shoulders and scoots as close to Brittany as possible. Her lips brush along the underside of Brittany's jaw as her nose nuzzles along the skin there.
"You know," she begins to whisper, her kisses trailing across pale skin, "as your girlfriend, it kind of means it's my duty to look after you and make sure you're okay so…I should probably stay the night."
A smile crosses Brittany's face at that and she nods.
"I'd like that."
###############
In the two weeks since Brittany got the cast put on her wrist, she's managed to get used to having it and not trying to use her right hand. Kind of.
There was the time the other morning that she had a really good idea for her invention book and went to scribble it out only to realize that her writing hand was pretty immobile. She sucked it up and arranged a pencil in her partly casted fingers and took a deep breath. Of course, the second she put any pressure on the pencil it traveled through the rest of her hand, pretty soon she had to give the whole task up because it hurt too much.
She was a very sad panda after that.
And then there are the pills. Brittany hasn't really taken as many as she's been told to take, partly because she doesn't want to be all loopy and not know what she's saying like that one time in the doctor's office that Santana had to tell her about (and she got super embarrassed by, even though Santana assured her she thought it was adorable). But also she hasn't taken many because she's seen Intervention and she doesn't want to become addicted to them and risk losing Santana or her family because of it.
So the pain is worse as well.
It's bad when she tries to dress herself, and even though she manages to get on decent clothes, she's not half as stylish as she'd like and she's had to wear her pre tied shoes pretty much every day for the past two weeks because she can't tie a knot. And of course Santana's offered to stay with her and help her and everything, and she's wonderful, she really is the best girlfriend, but Brittany doesn't want Santana to have to take care of her all the time.
What if she gets tired of it and doesn't want to be with Brittany anymore? Brittany could never live with herself if she let that happen.
But then that's the last thing as well…Santana.
She's been more than wonderful and understanding and so sweet to Brittany. She kisses her lovingly and she hugs her carefully, and she makes sure that Brittany's comfortable when they snuggle on the couch. She also gives Brittany really amazing orgasms (that don't involve a chair…well except for that one time but Brittany wasn't tied up so it was okay) but Brittany doesn't feel like she's been able to return the favor properly.
Being right handed, that's kind of Brittany's Santana pleasing hand.
Sure, there are other ways for Brittany to please Santana, but even when she tries to go down on her, something always seems to go wrong. Like her cast slides down Santana's bare thigh and scratches her up, that kind of kills the mood. Or Santana's legs are quivering next to Brittany's head when her tongue is on her center and then Brittany makes the mistake of trying to wrap her hand around Santana's thigh. Then instead of happy pleasure and Santana screaming her name, Brittany is pulling away and yelping in pain because of her injured hand.
That's not a way to please your sexy girlfriend.
To make matters worse, the guys at the Post Office are being even bigger assholes than usual. Brittany has always tried her best to ignore them and not let their nasty jeers get the best of her, it helps that Kurt is usually there with her to keep them away, but ever since she came to work with a broken wrist it's been non stop ridicule and extremely rude teasing. And things were about to get even worse.
"Hey Pierce, you never did tell us how you hurt your hand," Josh Coleman, one of the other Postmasters, calls to her as she standing talking with Kurt. Brittany turns to see the shorter, smug faced man walking towards her as a small group of his fellow jerk peers surround him and close in as well. Brittany feels Kurt's hand come to rest softly on her shoulder as she turns to face her tormentors.
Josh laughs once he gets closer, "Aww is your little boyfriend coming to defend your honor. You're such a pansy Pierce."
"I have a girlfriend."
She doesn't mean to blurt the words, but once she does it's kind of hard to take them back. Josh's eyebrows rise slightly before he starts laughing boisterously again, the others joining in shortly after.
"Sure you do, and that would be your right hand wouldn't it? Looks like you've been getting pretty busy with it lately, is that why it's broken?" Josh says with another laugh, thinking he's just so damn funny, "You know if you really did have a girlfriend, I can't see her sticking around for long."
"Pierce isn't lying you assholes, and you would know all about dating your right hand Coleman. You're disgusting!" Kurt cuts in before Brittany even has a chance to think up a response, on one side she's grateful, on the other it just seems like one more thing she can't do on her own. "Why don't you all go back to your shitty sorting jobs and leave Pierce alone, before I report you."
Josh and his buddies sneer at Kurt before throwing a glare in Brittany's direction. "You really are pathetic Pierce." He calls before turning around to stomp away.
Kurt turns to Brittany who despite everything, and her mantra of 'stop the violence', is practically shaking in anger with her fists curled into balls at her sides.
"Brittany…you need to ignore those guys. They're jerks."
"They're right though Kurt, I'm practically useless with my injured hand. I can't draw, I can hardly do any of my normal tasks, I'm stuck taking pain pills that make me loopy, and Santana's probably getting sick of dealing with me and taking care of me." Brittany says, the last words slipping from her lips and instantly changing her anger to sadness. She slumps a little.
"I may not know Santana, Brittany, but if half the things you've told me about her are true then I don't think that'd be the kind of thing that she would do. You two just started dating! You seem so happy."
Brittany looks up at him sadly, "She's amazing Kurt, but I'm scared she'll see how not worth it I am. I'm scared she won't want to deal with this side of me anymore."
Kurt sighs before he steps up to her and grasps her by the shoulders.
"Brittany Pierce you listen to me, you are an amazing person and if Santana doesn't see that then she's not worth it."
"She is worth it though, she's worth everything." Brittany says, sniffling as she rubs the back of her hand across the dampness on her cheek.
"Maybe you should go tell her what you're worried about, if you talk to her then you'll be on the same page and you won't have to worry because you'll already know." Kurt offers and he watches as a look of realization forms on Brittany's face. She perks up a little at the thought.
Maybe that's all it will really take. If she talks to Santana then she'll know.
Brittany turns to Kurt with a smile, "Thanks Kurt." She tells him before she gathers her mail deliveries for the day and proceeds to her truck. She'll work out the speech on the way.
##################
By the time Brittany gets to Santana's house, she's gotten the whole 'How to tell Santana that she doesn't want this whole broken wrist thing to ruin their just started, and amazing, relationship' speech thing all figured out and she's feeling confident.
She parks the mail truck in her usual spot on the street in front of Santana's house and reaches for the single package that is addressed to Santana. She's careful, if not awkward, in tucking it under her left armpit, making sure not to jostle her casted hand in the process. She breathes a sigh of relief when everything runs smoothly and then she walks up the path to her girlfriend's house.
Girlfriend. Brittany smiles, she still loves saying that word when referring to Santana.
Only when she gets to the door does she realize she has a little bit of a problem. Since the package is tucked securely under her left arm, she can't lift it to knock on the door, and obviously she's not going to use her right. Brittany frowns when she realizes her situation before she sighs and starts shifting around trying to ease the package from it's secure fit without using her other hand, just enough to lift her hand to rasp her knuckles on the door, when said door suddenly bursts open.
Brittany shoots up straight at the sight of Santana in front of her, dressed in ridiculously short red shorts and a skintight white tank top. Brittany's gulps at the sight barely blinking once before Santana is wrapping her arms around her neck and pulling her lips into a kiss. She tugs Brittany through the door with their mouths still attached and kicks it closed behind them, backing Brittany into the wall next to it as she takes the package from her and starts unbuttoning her shirt.
Santana's got Brittany's shirt off, her tongue is stroking inside Brittany's mouth, and is reaching for the zipper on her pants before the taller woman takes a second to catch up with everything that's happening and manages to pull back a little to breathe.
"Wait, Santana," she starts to say before full lips cover her own again and she's moaning into Santana's mouth. She manages to pull back again, shifting to the right and immediately stumbling over the shoes that Santana has piled in the little corner next to her door.
"Oh Brittany!" Santana exclaims, reaching out to keep her from tumbling all the way to the ground. Brittany steadies herself and stands back up straight, her good hand latched onto Santana's forearm. She takes a deep breath and nods to the shorter woman.
"I'm okay," she says and nods to reassure herself as well before she pulls Santana in closer and places a gentle kiss to her forehead, "I just needed to talk to you about something."
Santana smiles up at Brittany and reaches out to cup her cheek, pressing their lips together briefly before her fingers tuck a few stray blonde hairs behind Brittany's ear.
"Okay Brittany, we can talk."
Brittany smiles gratefully as their hands slide together and Santana walks them into her dining room. Brittany takes a moment to inwardly smile at the fact that she and Santana can hold hands like this naturally and still, well if Brittany wasn't injured, do other things.
Like each other's perfect match.
When Santana stops at the table, she turns to Brittany and presses a kiss to her jaw, "I'll go make us some hot chocolate, okay?" Brittany nods, grateful that Santana is already being so understanding and she doesn't even know what's going on yet. Brittany sits and waits. It doesn't take Santana long to return from the kitchen and place a hot cup of her special secret hot chocolate on the table in front of Brittany.
"Thank you." Brittany murmurs, lifting the mug to her lips without really thinking.
"Wait Britt it's-"
Santana tries to warn Brittany of the temperature, the same temperature that Brittany forgets (on a regular basis) is sometimes scolding hot but she doesn't do so in time to prevent the burning of Brittany's tongue. Pale cheeks flush in embarrassment after Brittany releases a pained yelp.
She can't believe she did that, again. She just gets so excited about the hot chocolate, and it's always so tasty and perfectly delicious! Plus, Santana makes it.
Brittany finds Santana bending down so they're eye level and taking her hand, "I really should start making that cooler for you." She murmurs, placing a kiss to the tip of Brittany's nose before she helps her to her feet and walks hand and hand into the kitchen where she grabs an ice cube from the freezer and puts it in a little bag before poking a hole in it and holding it to Brittany.
"Shank ruu." Brittany says, her tongue hanging out of her mouth with the ice cube baggy pressed to the burnt tip. Santana smiles and tilts up to kiss her cheek nuzzling her nose there briefly before leaning back against the counter and patiently waiting until Brittany is ready and wanting to talk.
After a few minutes of sufficiently numbing her tongue, Brittany sets the ice cube in the sink and takes a deep breath. She glances up to look at Santana who smiles back at her and Brittany loses her determination, suddenly becoming the shy, insecure person she was when she first met Santana. She doesn't see Santana stepping towards her but she does feel her placing her palm on her forearm.
"Is everything okay?"
Brittany shakes her head, "Not really."
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
"Actually it's kind of about you."
"Oh," Brittany's eyes snap up to Santana at the sound of her dejected tone and she watches a sad look cross her face. Brittany's eyes go wide and she rushes forward, her good hand wrapping around Santana's waist and tugging her back, "No! No, not like that." She murmurs, understanding how her words might have sounded. Brown eyes glance up at her.
"What do you mean then Britt? I want to talk to you, about anything you want."
Brittany nods, taking another deep breath, "You're perfect." She blurts and Santana's brow creases in perplexity.
"What?"
"I mean you're just so wonderful and amazing. You're beautiful and patient and understanding. You do so many things Santana, and you're doing so many things for me."
Santana shakes her head, "I don't get it Brittany, and I think you're all those things too. And I want to help you. Do you not want me to help you?"
She's biting her lip with her head tilted down before she answers, "It's not that I don't want you to. At least when you help you don't make me feel like an invalid," Brittany explains rolling her eyes as she thinks of how her parents would treat her if they were here, "but I don't want you to regret that or resent me for it."
"Why would I regret that Brittany?"
"Because I'm shy and awkward and at best I can make you laugh or smile sometimes and on occasion give you really good orgasms, but now I feel so helpless and I feel like eventually you're just not going to want to deal with that and you're going to just walk away."
Brittany is breathing hard when she finishes her sentence and she's met with silence. It takes her a moment to brave glancing up, and her heart falls a little when she doesn't see a smiling Santana but a sad, maybe even slightly angered Santana, who takes a step back from Brittany's hold.
"Is that really what you think I'd do?"
Blue eyes bulge at the unexpectedness of the question, and Brittany is quick to try and rectify any damage she's done. She shifts closer to Santana again and desperately grips her hip.
"That's not how I meant it! Santana, there are so many more people out there, so many more who can give you more and be more for you. I'm afraid that I'm not one of them. You're wonderful, but sometimes I feel like I fall short. And with the way I can't even properly hold you, or please you or do even simple tasks like drawing out my inventions or holding you up in my arms, it makes it even worse." She tries to explain.
Santana's palm cups her neck, "Brittany, who says you can't do any of those things?" She asks as she trails the tip of her nose along the edge of Brittany's jaw, making pale eyelids flutter. The path ends with full lips pressing into the juncture of her jaw and her neck and before she knows it, Santana is wrapping her arms around Brittany's neck and jumping up into her.
Brittany scrambles with her good hand to hold on but without the assistance, and expected support, of her other hand, she's wobbly with Santana and almost drops her on the floor. She manages to twist around and plant the shorter woman's ass on the countertop but then she also manages to knock Santana's head slightly into the cabinet.
Despite it all, Santana still starts laughing. She doesn't see the terrified look crossing Brittany's face.
"See that's what I mean," Brittany gasps out as she takes a step back from Santana, whose eyes scrunch in confusion.
"What do you mean?"
"My clumsiness and inability to properly use my hand got you hurt."
Santana frowns and shakes her head, sliding off from the counter, "No Brittany, that's not what happened. I sneak jump attacked you when I probably should have warned you, and you didn't drop me, which would have hurt worse, I only barely hit my head. But no blood, see? I'm okay." She tries to explain reaching out for Brittany's arms, but the taller woman backs up rapidly and pulls them away from reach.
She swallows and shakes her head, "I don't want to ever do worse to you, and make you change your mind about me."
"Brittany, honestly I'm okay. And the only thing that's going to make me change my mind about you is if you were completely lying to me about something, which you're not so everything's okay. You'll heal, it's just a broken wrist." Santana tries to calm Brittany down but the other woman is too shaken up in her head to listen.
"Exactly! It's just a broken wrist now and look at all the things I'm doing wrong. What happens if it's worse?"
"Then we deal with that when we get to it."
"If we get to it." Brittany murmurs.
"Britt-" Santana starts to say but Brittany cuts her off.
"I'm sorry Santana, I…I just need to deal with things a little. I…don't want to be the person who's not right for you."
And with that Brittany turns from Santana, walks to the entranceway to grab her shirt and leaves the house with only a tiny glance back. The last thing she sees through her tears as she climbs into her mail truck is a frantic Santana bursting out of her house and running towards her.
So Brittany's having some insecurities, maybe because the pain pills are messing with her mind? Maybe other people are being jerks and scaring her. But this is just the beginning, and Santana's not about to give up that easy!
Thanks again everyone! Seriously, you rock! (And if you want some Brittany fluff and smut, I've got this Halloween story called Coming Out of My Shell that is just that…just so you know!)