Sisters Under the Skin

by vjs2259

Anna Sheridan's real consciousness was trapped beneath the implanted Shadow personality. Through much effort she is restored to herself. She's lost three years of her life. Everyone she knows thinks she is dead. Waking up to a new world, a world at war, a world where she has no place; she finds her husband no longer trusts her and her only friend is the woman he now loves.

11. What the World Needs

Sisters Under Their Skins: Part Eleven

What the World Needs

Standard disclaimer applies; not my characters or settings or backgrounds. But they are my words.

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10/20/2261

Anna arrived at the station at midday, and went straight to C&C upon her arrival. She badgered the Security guard stationed at the entrance to the command center to let her pass. Stiff and straight, her fiery temper barely under control, she demanded to see the Commander, now, right away, and refused to tell her business. Finally she was ushered into the small room off the central area that served as John's secondary office. Susan Ivanova sat behind the desk, rapidly reading and signing a stack of papers and films and occasionally making notes on a tablet. Her uniform was clean and neat, every hair was in place, but Anna saw signs of strain in the lines on her face, which etched a path across the high forehead and along the sides of her mouth, lips pale behind a slash of Susan's usual dark lipstick. Anna waited only a moment before dropping her bag, leaning forward on the desk and launching into her story, laying out all her fears and suspicions and disjointed bits of information. Upon her arrival she'd asked for John and been told that he had left the station. She wanted, needed, desperately to know where he had gone.

"So, is he off on maneuvers with the White Star fleet, leading a strike against a squad of heavily-armed raiders, or doing anything a hell of a lot more safe than going after his father?" Anna's impetuous flow of words ended on a pleading note.

Susan hadn't spoken a word during the other woman's impassioned recital. "Are you finished?" she asked coldly. Then she sighed, rubbed her right temple, and gestured to the chair across the desk from her own seat. "Yes, he's gone to Mars to look for Ambassador Sheridan. And yes, it was at Garibaldi's instigation. We checked on Michael's story as best as we could. He hadn't been in contact with EarthGov, at least not directly, not that we could tell. I told John, hell, I begged him, not to go...maybe if Delenn had been here..." Susan broke off and flushed slightly. "Or you, of course. Someone who could talk some sense into the man."

Anna sat silent in the padded chair, struck motionless with a sick doubt that John would have listened. True, she could have pulled out examples of when his impulsiveness had not ended well in the past, but she didn't know if it would have worked this time, not with all that had happened, and not with his father's life at stake. "All right," she finally said, tamping down her fear, concentrating on what could be done. "What are you doing about it? Is someone following him in? The Rangers or someone?"

Susan's mouth tightened into a thin red line. "He insisted on no one going with him, or after him."

"And you listened to him?" shot back Anna. Then she inhaled slowly, trying to maintain a modicum of calm. "I suppose you have to follow orders. What about Delenn? Does she know about this? She could send someone to back John up, or to bring him home." She leaned forward eagerly. "Is she back yet? The last I heard she was about done on Minbar and was heading here as soon as she could get away."

"Flight plan says she's due in today," said Susan. The door behind Anna had opened while they were speaking, and a lieutenant in uniform was standing straight and still, but exuding anxiety and not concealing an urgent need to speak to his CO. Susan glanced from him to Anna, and said, "I have a lot to do, Dr. Sheridan. Would you excuse me?"

Anna knew a dismissal when she heard it, and left, cursing the time wasted in the brief and unproductive meeting with Ivanova. There had to be something that could be done; some way to subvert the trap that lay ahead of John on Mars. Damn Garibaldi and damn Clark and damn them all! In her past life, she'd always prided herself on staying out of politics. She'd work with any government or private agency that would help her add to Earth's knowledge of the galaxy. And there had been a more or less stable world government on Earth for as long as she could remember. Even through first contact, the wars, and close-fought elections; the government had retained credibility. Not any more, not for her.

Fuming as she walked, she kept circling back to her ineffectiveness. She'd uncovered no more than a handful of Shadow agents on Earth, although one at least was either Clark or his PsiCorp liaison. And really, how did that help? The Shadows were gone, the fight was between her fellow humans now. There was no alien threat, no alien menace to face. The threat now came from within; the threat wore the face of a friend. And after all her effort she had been too late. She had been too late to warn John.

Stifling her despair with the urgent need to act, she hastened towards Delenn's quarters, hoping that her friend was already there. The doorlock disengaged and the door slid open on her pronouncement of her name. Inside she found Lennier.

"You're back!" said Anna eagerly. "Where's Delenn? I have to talk to her." She paced around the combined living and kitchen space, darting glances at the bedroom. She dropped the small carryall she'd toted all the way from Earth. My life in one bag, she thought grimly. Then she thought again, what do I need to carry things around for? My memories, such as they are, my thoughts, my knowledge, are too big for a bag in any case.

"Delenn is in MedLab with Dr. Hobbs. She met us at the docking bay and insisted Delenn accompany her, on the Captain's orders. I came ahead to prepare her rooms." He gestured around him with a slight ironic smile. "Not that any preparation is needed. Delenn brought little with her. She seldom does when we go home." The smile faded briefly, "Perhaps that is because her home is here now."

"Perhaps it is," replied Anna, striving for a gentle tone although her heart was still racing. Lennier looked lost without Delenn in the foreground. "It's good to have a home. I've never had one of my own. I lived with my parents until they were killed, then my aunt and uncle, then I went away to college, moving from one rental unit to another. John and I never had a home. The closest place was probably John's parents' farm, where we first met." Her voice caught, stumbled, and blurred, "That's gone now, too. They burned it to ashes, trying to get at John through his parents."

"I am sorry," replied Lennier sincerely.

"Was Delenn badly hurt on Minbar?" asked Anna. Lennier indicated that she should take a seat, so she did, hoping that it wasn't because he thought she would need one. "I heard a little about what happened from Senator Crosby. But Delenn said nothing in her letters."

"She would not want to worry you," replied Lennier. He was moving around the apartments, making slight adjustments to small sculptures and pieces of glass that didn't seem to need it. "She went into the fire to save our world."

"And you pulled her out?" put in Anna. "I told Pat there was no real danger if you were there. That you wouldn't let anything happen to her."

Lennier sat down abruptly, his face stricken. "I did nothing. Nothing but obey. It was her choice to enter and her choice to stay. It was Neroon who sacrificed himself to save her."

"But why would you let her do such a thing, Lennier? I thought..." Anna stared at him, but her quick sympathy at his obvious agitation stopped the sentence short. In an attempt at comfort, she added, "All that matters is that she's okay. How long do you think she'll be in MedLab?"

Lennier's answer was cut short as the door opened and Delenn walked in. Anna jumped up but stood still, caught between joy and fear. Delenn walked swiftly over to Anna and embraced her. Anna hugged her back but let go when she felt her friend wince slightly at her touch.

"Are you all right? What did the doctor say?" Anna found herself distracted by Delenn's obvious discomfort.

"I am fine, as I just finished telling Dr. Hobbs, over and over, for the last thirty minutes." Delenn laughed. She backed up a bit, just enough to get a good look at Anna. "But why are you here? I thought you were working with the Senator in the interests of Earth? Were you not content?" Warm concern flooded her voice. "Has something happened? Not that I am unhappy to see you, but..."

Anna choked on the confession of her most recent unsuccessful mission. "I came back to warn John, but I was too late."

Delenn's face paled and set in careful lines. "I heard as soon as I arrived that he had already left."

"It's a trap. They've been working on finding Pops for months, and now they have him, and they're going to use him to lure John into a trap. I'm certain of it. And it was Garibaldi, it had to be. Garibaldi told them, about the Tenasticin, about John's love for his father, he was the only one who knew all of it, even if he wasn't working for EarthGov directly, John will end up having who knows what done to him, they'll want him to talk, to recant..." Anna found herself babbling, in sheer relief at having someone to talk to who cared as much as she did, but her voice slowed as she saw the import of her words on Delenn. "I talked to Ivanova already, she said she couldn't do anything. Orders. But you can, can't you?"

Delenn was standing quite still, arms at her sides. She said, picking out the words in painful tones, "I, too, have my orders. John sent me a message before he left the station. I got it en route. He asked me to stay here, to assist Susan, even stand in for her if it came to that. To continue the work on our current projects. There are many events in progress at this moment, and the co-ordination is delicate, and difficult. My presence here is required."

Anna felt her heart sink and rise like a car on a zero-g coaster. "So you can't do anything because it might jeopardize your plans. Of course the idiot is jeopardizing those plans himself by haring off after Pops. This is what happens when you marry a big goddamned hero!"

Delenn smiled faintly at this, but her face remained pale. "I suppose it is one of the hazards," she ventured.

Anna's cheeks burned as she recalled a ring in a drawer, and how close Delenn had come to being the wife in question. Forcing her voice into quieter tones, she returned to her main concern. "What are we going to do?"

"We will do the hardest thing in the world. We will wait." Delenn put one hand out and took one of Anna's in her own. "Together."

10/21/2261

Anna spent most of the next day attempting to arrange for a trip back to Mars. It wasn't going to be easy without the Rangers' help and she didn't think Delenn would approve. She had gone to MedLab to see if she could talk to Stephen but found he had left the station a couple of weeks ago. Dr. Hobbs hadn't given her any details except that he was gone. It seemed clear from the timing that it was important and something to do with John's 'project'. Anna figured Stephen was assisting with John's plan to liberate Earth. It infuriated her that John had put everything he had been working for at risk. He should have sent someone else to help his father. Garibaldi must have said John had to come himself. It was like a bad gangster vid. "Come quickly, and come alone." She could even hear it said in Mr. Garibaldi's clipped tones.

After giving up on her attempts to get back off the station, at least for the moment, Anna returned to her shared quarters and puttered. She emptied and re-packed her carryall with clothes she'd left behind on the station when she had fled to Earth. They had all been laundered and hung carefully in the bedroom closet. John must have arranged for it, though it hurt Anna's heart hurt to see how he had arranged the storage with open space between his uniform and casual shirts and pants and her tailored jackets and fitted shirts, loose blouses and tunics, as though he had continued to mark their separation. Finishing her packing, she zipped the container closed and patted it. She wanted to be ready if one of her feelers bore fruit and she was able to get back to her home system. Stuffing her worn clothes into the hamper, she set the notice on the com for laundry pick-up and settled onto the couch in an attempt to read. Soon she fell asleep, exhausted and tormented by evil dreams and unanswerable questions.

Later that afternoon after she awoke unrefreshed, she found her steps taking her towards Delenn's quarters again. It was better than staying in John's quarters, where every item gave evidence of his presence, and where the silence she fled was not so loud as the silence of his absence. Besides, he had rotten taste in novels.

When Anna reached Delenn's quarters, she hit the door chime, spoke her name, and entered without waiting to see who was inside. Lennier and Delenn were in the dining area off the small kitchen. From their attitudes, a somewhat heated discussion had been going on. Lennier stood stiff, with both arms at his sides. Delenn was seated in a tall silver chair, hands flat on the table. A tube lay on its side on the table between them. There were also several folded slips of paper, thick in the center as if they held something within.

Anna wasn't sure what to say but her capacity for civil conversation was tapped out. "What's going on?" she demanded, looking from one Minbari to the other.

Lennier continued his stiff stance, edged almost with disapproval. Delenn tore away her glare and fastened a softer glance at Anna. "Nothing of importance. Lennier has duties that will take him away this evening. Perhaps you would join me for dinner?"

Lennier bowed to Anna and spoke over Delenn's head to her. "It is no trouble if you care to stay. I have already prepared Delenn's evening repast, and there is more than enough for two." Observing Anna's glance at the materials on the table, he continued dogmatically. "Delenn has some medication prescribed by Dr. Hobbs. There is some evidence of infection, which the medication will address." He glanced sideways at Delenn. "If it is taken, of course."

Anna almost laughed at Lennier's subtle attempts to enlist her support, but his obvious concern forestalled her mirth. "I would certainly encourage Delenn to follow doctor's orders," she said solemnly. "I look forward to dinner. I'm sure it will be enjoyable." Lennier bowed again in acknowledgment of this courtesy, and walked swiftly towards the door.

Anna collapsed into the chair opposite Delenn. "What was that all about? You have an infection? I thought you had recovered from your injuries?" Looking closer at her friend, she noticed a sheen of perspiration on her forehead, where the dark bangs clung to damp skin.

"There was some fever earlier, but it has subsided. Dr. Hobbs worries excessively, a habit she seems to have inherited from her predecessor." Delenn picked up a tall crystal glass of water and drained it. She touched the folded paper and a few white crystals leaked out of one end. "This is to forestall the possibility of infection." She flicked the tube which rolled towards Anna. "This is for pain, to be applied as needed. It also will reduce any scarring."

"Scarring?" asked Anna with concern. "That sounds serious." She picked up one of the papers and looked at the script along the side. "Take with...water?" She pointed at the last set of symbols. "I don't think it's water. What does it say? My Minbari is still pretty rudimentary."

"You are learning my language?" Delenn flushed with pleasure. She indicated the accenting symbol before the last word on the paper. "It says to take with hot liquid, tea or coffee, broth perhaps. It is more effective that way I suppose. The doctor gave me one dose in Medlab this morning, and this one to take after the noon meal. Then two a day for three more days." She shrugged, "The fever has broken in any case."

"No harm in finishing the prescribed course though, is there?" said Anna, rising and entering the small kitchen area. She looked about and located what looked like a kettle, a stylized set of interlocking triangles made of bright silver metal, consisting of a base, a large container with a tight black lid, and a handle. Turning it around and around she found what looked like a plug that fit a slot in the wall behind where the kettle had been situated, just above the counter. Taking off the lid she filled the device with water and fitted it into the power outlet. Delenn had come up behind her and was taking down cups and a silver canister of tea from the cupboards. Anna took her by the shoulders and walked her back to the chair. "You should sit down. Whether you're over the fever or not, you've been through an ordeal. And John's recent antics certainly aren't helping." She walked back over to pick up the cups. Her hands shook slightly, rattling them together.

Delenn sat in her chair, a surprised look on her face. Observing Anna's agitation, she said gently, "His 'antics' are not helping you either."

"I'm all right," said Anna without turning around. She bit her lips to stop them quivering, then gathered up the rest of the supplies and brought them to the table.

Delenn set out the service and poured the water into a squat and square silver pot, then added a few spoonfuls of silvery grey leaves. Anna leaned over and inhaled the fragrant vapor. "What is it?"

"Senn'tha," replied Delenn. "It is calming, and opens the mind to new possibilities. It is a favorite of John's..." She broke off in confusion.

Anna opened the packet of medicine and emptied it into the cup in front of Delenn. "You can say his name in front of me. We both love him, that's the simple fact of the matter." She pushed the cup lightly in Delenn's direction. "Drink up."

Delenn obediently drank, and made a slight face. "It is a horrible tasting substance. Dr. Hobbs gave it to me in coffee this morning, which at least had the benefit of tasting even worse than the medication."

Anna laughed and took a sip from her own cup. She made an approving sound. "This tea is quite unusual. I like it though. Best drink yours down so you can have some more, without the nasty additive."

The two women sat quietly drinking tea for several more minutes. Finally the silence grew loud and both spoke at once, then both hastily apologized and all was quiet again.

Delenn took a moment to examine Anna's white taut face. A brave smile was perched on her friend's lips and Delenn appreciated the effort it must cost. She set down her cup and gestured towards the living room. "Come. Let us be more comfortable." She placed the teapot and their cups on a silver tray and stood up, clutching the back of the chair to steady herself. Anna rose swiftly and picked up the tray, walked to the living room and put it down, then came back and put an arm around Delenn.

"Come on," Anna said, and led Delenn to the sofa. She sat down next to her and leaned back into the cushions with an exhausted sigh. "Why is that doing nothing is so tiring?"

"Have you done nothing today?" asked Delenn.

Anna blushed. "I spent a good amount of the morning down on at the docks, checking on flights. Then I fell asleep reading."

Delenn laid one hand on her arm as if to keep her in place. "You must not try to follow him. It is too dangerous."

"I know, I know," replied Anna. "But I need something to do. I feel like I've been doing nothing for months! Why did Lorien get so excited...well, excited for him...about my abilities when they've accomplished so little?"

Delenn tilted her head and examined Anna with curiosity. "What is it you feel you should be doing?"

"Something to help!" Anna replied with frustration, tucking one leg underneath her and turning on the sofa to face Delenn. She spoke quickly, gesticulating freely with both hands. "I don't know when I'll ever get back to my own work, so I thought I could help with John's and yours. It's my work too really, all of ours. We need to get our world back. And we need to educate the people at home in the reality of what has happened."

"Of the larger war?" asked Delenn. "Do you think that is important?"

Anna stared. "Of course it's important. The oldest races in the galaxy devastated entire worlds in their proxy war. They killed who knows how many sentients. There's re-building to do, Earth can help, once they get their own house in order."

"Will they want to help?" asked Delenn, leaning forward to pick up her cup. She cradled it in her hands, gazing into the liquid depths as if seeking answers therein.

"I...think so," replied Anna hesitantly. "There's always been a strange mix of isolationism and expansionism in human culture. But yes, once the veil of xenophobia Clark has used to justify his own actions is pulled back, I think we'll want to be part of what you're building."

"I hope so," replied Delenn, swirling the tea in her cup. Biting her lip, she went on, "Without John I do not think it will happen. Susan may be able to take the fleet into battle and on to victory, but she does not have the status with your military or your people to carry them to the next step."

"Which is...?" Anna questioned frankly. "I understand the need for secrecy as related to tactics, but what is the end game? What are you and John working towards?"

"An Alliance," said Delenn, a fervent glow lighting her face. "An interstellar organization working for understanding and peace among all peoples."

Anna whistled softly. "That's a dream all right." Her eyes sparkled. "A dream worth fighting for."

"I am glad you agree," replied Delenn. Leaning forward, she pulled a folder of flimsies. "Let me show you some of our ideas."

"Should you be showing me any of this?" Anna asked doubtfully. "I'm not bound by any command structure like Ivanova or vows like the Rangers."

"I trust you," said Delenn simply. "John trusted you. He loves you. That is enough."

Anna smiled, a bit grimly, wondering at the acceptance she'd found in the other woman, when it was still up in the air whether her husband did trust her. Then she put her head next to Delenn's following her friend's enthusiastic gestures at the details outlined on the transparent files.

"When is Lennier returning?" Anna asked a few hours later as she stretched muscles taut with inaction, strangely reluctant to end the web of intimacy woven by their mutual revelations. Delenn was almost voiceless at this point, and was drinking cold tea to recover.

"I do not know," replied Delenn, setting down the cup. "There is much to do, and Dr. Hobbs took up a great deal of my time today with her concerns."

Anna smiled. "You are not a good patient."

"On the contrary, I was quite patient." Delenn answered with a crook of her lips.

"Besides," laughed Anna. "I took up a good deal more of your time than the doctor. And for less reason." Self-deprecation left her anxious, and she looked down at her hands, the up quickly at Delenn.

"This was time well spent," answered Delenn with warm composure. She leaned forward and took Anna's hand between her own and pressed it lightly. "Time spent with a friend is always well spent."

The entry chime sounded and the door opened with a swoosh as Lennier entered. He approached the table and bowed in the general direction of Anna and quite specifically at Delenn. As he made his report, carefully listing each person he had contacted, their requests and petitions, and the actions he had taken, Anna watched Delenn who listened attentively. Under her respectful demeanor Anna could see growing weariness. Finally Lennier stopped and patiently awaited further instruction.

Delenn gave him those further instructions and told him he could finish in the morning. Lennier shook his head and answered, "There will be more to do in the morning. I will finish this evening and report back." He bowed to Anna. "I hope you enjoy the meal. I will return after you have eaten."

Anna interrupted at this. "Save the report for the morning, Lennier. I think Delenn could use an early night."

Lennier regarded Anna with surprise, then looked carefully at Delenn and reluctantly nodded. "I believe you are correct, Dr. Sheridan. I will retire after I complete my work." He motioned towards the door. "If I might ask you something?"

Anna rose and followed him to the door. She glanced back at Delenn who was leaning her head into her palm, her eyes closed in seeming exhaustion. "What is it, Lennier?" she asked quietly.

"If you would, Dr. Sheridan, stay here tonight," Lennier urged. "I do not like to leave her alone these days. There are memories and dreams, nightmares... of the Wheel."

"I'll stay," Anna said, laying one hand on Lennier's arm. "She took her medication; the next dose isn't due until morning. Go, and don't worry. You could use a good night's sleep too."

Lennier looked at her hand, which she slowly removed, then made a deeper bow towards her than he had before. "You have my gratitude. I will see you both tomorrow." And he made his exit, expending only one last, lingering look at his mentor.

After dinner, Anna insisted on cleaning up the kitchen while Delenn caught up on messages ignored during the long afternoon they'd spent talking. Wondering how on Earth she was going to fulfill her promise to Lennier, she set plates in the washer and replaced containers in the cooler. When she was done, she wandered back into the living room, observed Delenn rubbing her eyes as she tilted her head back against the back of the couch. The screen on the tablet, now flat on the table, was black.

"Um, Delenn? I was wondering..." Anna noted with some concern a flush on Delenn's cheeks, an indicator perhaps of returning fever. Sitting on the couch across from the chair, she wondered why this was so hard. "My quarters, John's quarters..." Finally she just threw it out. "Can I sleep here again, tonight I mean?"

Delenn's eyes had briefly drifted closed, but snapped open at this. Her expression was unreadable and Anna cringed. Her words had sounded odd and desperate to her own ears and she wasn't sure why. "It's like before, there's just so much John there, and I'm so worried it's hard to sleep." Now she sounded pathetic. For some reason her heart began pounding as she awaited a response.

"Of course you may," replied Delenn without a note of hesitation. She held out her hands, palms up and then pressing them together said in formal tones, "My bed is yours tonight."

Anna found herself at a loss for an appropriate response.

"On Minbar there is no intimacy beyond friendship in a shared bed," replied Delenn, flushing. She continued with some embarrassment, "Of course it is different with your people. I meant nothing beyond a sharing of personal space, a host-gift between two friends."

Words stuck for a moment in Anna's throat as she processed this offer and her own mixed reactions of pleasure and disappointment. "The couch is fine, really," she finally got out. "As I recall, it's perfectly comfortable." What was wrong with her tonight? It wasn't like she'd never crashed here before.

Delenn rose and went to her bedroom. Anna heard drawers open and close.

Handing a pile of soft fabric to Anna, Delenn said, "There is night apparel if you choose to change clothes before sleep. Blankets too. There are spare towels in the cupboard behind the bathroom door."

Anna took the offering and laid it gently on the couch. She unfolded the blanket and spread it over the couch, doubling it so she could slip between two layers of fabric. There was a small cushion to use as a pillow. She looked at it with a sigh; she liked a large soft pillow, but they weren't used by the Minbari. Delenn was walking around the apartment, turning off lights and blowing out the candles she'd lit on the dining room table. As she walked she unfastened the brooch at the neck of her robes. Anna was sitting on the couch, removing her shoes and tucking them under the table that sat in front of the couch. Light flashed from the pin and she remarked with mild curiosity, "I've never seen you without that pin. Does it have some special meaning? Is it a badge of office?"

Delenn closed her hand over the ornament and turned towards Anna who sat in a pool of light from the lamp behind the couch. The last candle had been blown out and the Minbari woman was outlined in shadow.

"It was my mother's," she answered. "She left it to my father to give to me, when she went away."

Anna nodded in sympathy. "My parents died when I was young. I have few of their things, and most of what I have is in storage on Earth."

"My mother is not dead," replied Delenn calmly. "She followed the call to join an ancient order, one which requires the renunciation of family ties, of caste and clan."

"Was it hard for you when she left?" Anna asked, turning the idea of cloistered Minbari around in her mind.

"Not once I understood," answered Delenn. She had moved to the bedroom, and was removing her outer robes. "Any loss can be accepted with time and understanding."

Anna removed her own outer clothes, blouse and pants, leaving her underclothes on, and placed them, neatly folded, on the low table by the couch. She put her arms through the silken sleeves of the gown Delenn had given her. The main body of the fabric was light but the tight weave was warm. It was the color of candlelight, ivory faded by age. She couldn't find any fasteners though and finally shrugged as she wrapped it tight around her body. She sat on the couch, her feet tucked into the folds of the blanket, arms wrapped around her knees. "Accepted?" she challenged, "Or grown used to? Even forgotten?" Her voice grew sad around the edges. "Sometimes when I look at pictures of my parents, I see strangers."

Delenn had re-entered the living room and was standing at the foot of the couch. Her hair was loose around her and the lamp she stood above picked out the auburn highlights. "Memory is not the only place where love resides. As you move through life, you carry the living strand of your family with you. They are always there, whether you can picture their faces or hear their voices. They are part of you." She squeezed Anna's shoulder through the thin fabric, her hand trailing down Anna's arm in a near caress. "Good night," she said, and swiftly disappeared behind into her bedchamber.

Anna was wakened by Delenn's anguished cry. "John!" The name hung in the air between them. Anna, startled from sleep, rose on both elbows and stared around her in alarm. Through the open partition leading to the bedroom, she could see Delenn, sitting upright, bedclothes twisted in hands stiff with tension, wide eyes facing the open doorway of the bedroom.

Anna felt a sharp bite of anxiety and threw off the light blanket. She held the thin Minbari shift closed as she groped for her folded pile of clothes on the table. Peering around the living area, she could see nothing moving in the dim light, there or beyond the frosted glass partition. She looked back at Delenn, whose eyes remained unfocused and large as if she could see something, something at the edge of awareness, something she dreaded to see. Anna stumbled across the room, dropped her clothes on the floor by the bed and sat beside Delenn, taking the other woman in her arms, instinctively shielding her from the unknown threat. Delenn clung to her but continued to stare at the door. Anna felt the warmth from the other woman blaze against her bare skin, thin silk transmitting every trembling movement.

Then the outer door snicked open and light from the hallway illumined the figure of a Minbari, presumably Lennier, who rapidly approached the bedroom.

Lennier's voice was calm, but his whole demeanor screamed of danger. "There is a problem," he announced abruptly, "with the Captain."

Delenn threw herself out of bed, reached inside the bathroom door to pull out a robe which she quickly pulled on. She swept from the room, gesturing at Anna to follow.

Anna felt suddenly chilled by the loss of the Delenn's warm body and looked down at her gown which was gaping open. Shrugging it off her shoulders, she pulled on her shirt and buttoned it up rapidly to the point of semi-respectability. Tugging on her pants, she looked around for her shoes, then hurried out of the bedroom, realizing they would still be by the couch where she'd left them. Coming up behind Delenn, she put one hand on her shoulder, both to steady herself and offer support. "What happened?" she demanded of Lennier.

Lennier's eyes slid over Anna as if avoiding what her presence in Delenn's bedroom might portend, and then his gaze settled back on Delenn who was staring at him in open terror. Deep concern etched furrows along both sides of his mouth. "Captain Sheridan is believed to be in the power of the Earth government. No announcement has been made, but his capture was witnessed by reliable members of the Mars rebellion." He drew a deep breath, as if in pain, and continued. "Mr. Garibaldi was there when he was taken."

"I knew it!" exploded Anna in fury. "Whether he was doing it for EarthGov or the highest bidder, the bastard set John up!" She paced around the room, hands balled into fists. "I wish I could get my hands on him. I knew I felt some Shadow taint on him, not enough to tell anyone and who would have believed me anyway?" She fell into a chair and put one hand over her eyes. "God, we have got to get John out of this!"

Delenn stood silent, hands still at her side. Finally she spoke, "I must speak with Susan."

"Commander Ivanova anticipated this and is waiting for you in the small conference room off C&C," Lennier answered precisely.

Anna jumped up but Delenn held up her hand and said gently, "You must stay here. Susan will want to examine how this affects our plans, and she is adamant they remain known to as few people as possible. I will return as soon as I can." Delenn re-entered the bedroom to dress.

Lennier remained standing; obviously he meant to accompany Delenn to her meeting. Anna felt snubbed. "Sit down, Lennier," she snapped. "Do you know any more? Has there been any reports about John's father? Is he on Mars?"

"There are some indications that Ambassador Sheridan was brought there as well...to act as, what is the word? Bait?" replied Lennier. He moved hesitantly towards one of the straight silver chairs in the dining area and perched on the edge of the seat, hands folded in his lap. He looked up at Anna, then down again quickly.

Anna looked down and saw she'd missed a button. Reddening, she shifted in the chair, slid the fastening home and tugged her shirt into position, sitting up a little straighter. Odd how hard it was to feel dignified in bare feet. "How did she know?" she mused aloud. At Lennier's quizzical look, Anna went on, "Delenn knew. Before you came into the room. She called out John's name, and she looked so afraid."

Lennier spoke slowly. "I do not understand the bond between them. But it is strong. And the Universe has many ways of speaking to those it has chosen." His voice trailed off in sadness.

Anna felt a rush of sympathy. "It'll all work out, Lennier. The Universe won't let them down."

Lennier rose as the bedroom door opened and Delenn strode out in full ambassadorial regalia. Anna thought she looked beautiful, regal and proud, and coldly determined. The Universe had better watch itself, she thought in admiration.

Delenn shot her a warm look of silent thanks and asked, "Will you be here when I return?"

"Always, if you want me," replied Anna, smiling back.

10/22/2261

The day after the news arrived of John's capture on Mars, Anna rose early and went to the early service in the main station chapel. She was still sleeping on Delenn's couch, by mutual wish and for mutual support. Anna had been raised a Methodist, the sort of intermediate practical religion favored by her aunt and uncle. They had taken her to church every Sunday, attended her confirmation as a teenager, and then left her alone to form her own beliefs.

The quiet of the chapel after the early congregants had left calmed her jolted nerves. John had arranged a VIP link for her which she had recovered from his quarters where she'd abandoned it when she left for Earth. Delenn had promised to notify her the instant any news came in from Mars. The tall candles in chest high metal holders along the wall gave off the familiar scent of beeswax—though she supposed the candles were synthetic. That led her into vague consideration of the source of Minbari candles, which often seemed the main form of illumination in Delenn's quarters. Did they have bees on Minbar? Had they at one time, perhaps in the distant past? Or did they rely on synthetics like most of the other races? The outlines of a short research article took shape in her mind, and she was startled to hear her name called.

"Dr. Sheridan?" The voice was mellow, deep with cheerful undertones.

"Brother Theo!" exclaimed Anna. She rose to her feet and impulsively embraced the priest, who reminded her of nothing more than a sarcastic Santa Claus.

He patted her back gently. "I heard, child. I am so sorry this has happened. Have you any news?"

"No," replied Anna, hugging him harder. "No news beyond..." Then she stopped, pulled away and looked at him suspiciously. "How did you know? Commander Ivanova got word directly from the Resistance on Mars, and told Lennier, who informed Delenn, and I happened to be there..."

Brother Theo laid one finger aside of his nose. "I have my own sources." He piously raised his eyes to the metal-paneled ceiling.

Anna laughed. "I'll just bet you do." Sobering, she asked, "Do your sources tell you anything about John's father?"

Theo patted her arm. "Not yet. But he's a valuable bargaining chip they'll need to gain Captain Sheridan's cooperation. They won't harm him."

Anna's temper flared. "He's more than John's relative, you know! He's important...to me." She folded her arms around herself and stared at the ground like a sulky and forlorn child.

Theo led her to a pew and sat beside her. "Every person is important, an irreplaceable individual in the eyes of God." His eyes glowed with understanding as Anna met his glance through veiled tears. "All we can do is wait, and pray, and do what we can here."

"I'm back to being unemployed," Anna tried a light laugh to accompany the words, but it came off slightly bitter.

Theo cocked his head to one side, and smiled. "As I recall you are familiar with databases, are you not?" He stood, held out his hand to her and helped her rise. Tucking her arm through his, he walked her to the front of the chapel. "You did good work with the refugee records. Dr. Hobbs is an excellent physician, but her record-keeping beyond patient charts is not what one would wish. Go to her, offer to help clean up those records. She'll grouse a bit, but it would be a relief for her. If you have any trouble, come to me. We have several brothers who specialize in this sort of thing." He added mildly, "You have made friends here. It has been noted and appreciated- your previous work with Dr. Franklin, and your support of Delenn at this difficult time. Difficult for you both, and it is to both your credit that you can find comfort in each other."

"I'll give Medlab a try," said Anna, not knowing exactly how to respond to this. "Thank you, for the kind words and for the recommendation."

On her arrival at MedLab her offer of help was greeted by Dr. Hobbs with half an ear and initial doubt. Anna persisted, and Dr. Hobbs grudgingly agreed to let her try her hand, ensconcing her in the central glass-walled office that served Dr. Franklin when he was there. Anna could see the point where she the records she'd kept on Epsilon 3 had ended; it was followed by erratic entries, some un-dated, most incomplete. The original files were all there, but entry into the central database had slacked off as the war had wound down. The refugees had continued to flow in, the numbers slowed but showed occasional jumps when a large group arrived. Most of these later arrivals had not been kept in Medlab. They were not necessarily wounded, at least not physically, just homeless or displaced, in a word, lost. Most of these disappeared from the records after their initial medical examinations. Anna wondered what had happened to all of them. It put her own troubles in some perspective, although the buried worry and fear still erupted occasionally, making her hands shake and her eyes blur.

At noon, Dr. Hobbs entered the office with a tray containing two tightly wrapped sandwiches and two plastic cups of tea. "Lunch?" she asked. "You've been hard at it," she added as Anna bundled away stacks of papers, flimsies, hand-held data tablets, and racks of data crystals to make space on the desk for the tray.

"It's not so bad," replied Anna, reaching for the tea, and holding the cup in both hands, inhaling the steam. "It's like anything, if you let yourself get behind, soon it becomes overwhelming."

Lillian Hobbs looked briefly guilty, then held out one of the sandwiches. Anna took it and unwrapped it and took a big bite. She gestured at the main comscreen with the thin bread slices. "There aren't that many left. Not that we have records for. Most of them have gone home, or back to one of the main resettlement camps in their own sectors."

"Well, the war is over. At least that war." Lillian sighed. "I don't know when Dr. Franklin will make it back."

"You seem to be doing pretty well here," remarked Anna, taking a gulp of the now lukewarm tea to wash down the sandwich. "Do you like running the show?"

"The paperwork's a bitch," replied Lillian with a smile. "But yes, I do. I've always liked doing things my own way." She looked around the quietly humming medical center with pride. "This is the most interesting place I've ever worked," she added. "So many different races. Always something new to learn." She picked at her sandwich lying neatly bisected on a square of napkin. "You've become close to Delenn, haven't you?"

Anna nodded but didn't reply having started in on the second half of her sandwich.

"I'd like to ask you to keep an eye on her. She's not an ideal patient, though she follows directions precisely...when you can get her to commit to following them." Lillian shook her head. "I'm not completely happy with her recovery."

Anna's appetite faded. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"I'm not sure. I have all Dr. Franklin's records on her, the changes in her metabolism and basic physiology...but there's still a lot we don't know. I can't get her to come in for daily blood work, and those wounds. Well, they'll take a while to completely heal. I think she's in more pain than she'll admit."

"What can I do?" asked Anna intently.

"Keep an eye on her. Let me know if you notice any signs of that fever returning. Get her to use that ointment I gave her. Reducing scarring is not just about vanity, it's also about restoring muscle function." Lillian's voice lost its hesitant concern in the familiar recitation of prescription.

"I will," promised Anna. "I'll do whatever I can."

10/23/2261

Anna had returned to John's and her quarters to pick up some clothes when the message from Ivanova came through. It had been a tiresome morning of going through old medical records, trying to straighten out another database Dr. Hobbs had off-loaded onto her. She listened to the commander's strict admonition that Anna was to stay on the station and stay out of her, Ivanova's, way. Something was happening; Anna could feel the tension in the air. Slamming the off button on the comstation in frustration, Anna started to pace, hands behind her back, trying to see some way out of the situation. As she made her way around the small living area, she caught her hip on the small chest against the wall. The top drawer was slightly ajar. Rubbing the sore spot, she yanked at the drawer in an attempt to ram it closed. John must have left it open before he'd gone on his quixotic rescue mission. After a pause, she opened it again slowly. A packet of letters, her letters, lay within the drawer. A black box, a soft velvet square weighed them down. He'd been reading her letters and looking at the ring he'd bought for Delenn. Tears filled her eyes. Her poor John, torn between past and future—he was trying so hard to make things right for everyone. No wonder he'd run to help his father. He had to do something, just like she had to do something. On an impulse, she stuffed the box deep in the pocket of her short blue jacket. Running her hand through her hair, she decided she had to get out of the room. She desperately needed some air.

The trip to the VIP wing was short and she dumped the small bag with the clothes she'd retrieved on the sofa. She'd made a little nest of things around her temporary home. A tablet for work that connected to the main Medical system, and one loaded with some papers she was reading, still trying to catch up on three years' work in the xeno-anthropology field as well as some novels and puzzles, and her primer on the Minbari language. A pad of paper and a good pen for notes lay next to the electronics. Delenn had placed a carafe of water and a crystal glass, as well as the omnipresent candles. There was a pair of reading glasses; she didn't like to wear them but reading the print on the tablet reader made her eyes ache if she kept at it for too long. Her body had aged during the three years. The Shadows hadn't kept her in stasis. Feeling her heartbeat accelerate at the creeping indistinct memory of what had been done to her, she slowed her breathing and kept her focus tightly on the present, as Delenn had taught her. Looking around the quiet rooms, she felt the return of the claustrophobia she'd felt earlier. Time to run, to find somewhere where the walls were more distant. Delenn was busy, presumably conferring with Susan, making their last minute plans to wreak whatever havoc they had in mind. Just as well, Anna thought. Space and solitude; that's what she wanted.

When she reached the central gardens she could almost feel her shoulders retreat from their perch up around her ears. Anna walked through the various areas of agriculture and recreation and just natural beauty, finally settling on a stone bench in front of a carefully raked area of patterned gravel. Closing her eyes, she tried to tune out the buzzing sounds of machinery and the faint echoes of others' conversations. She wished she could feel the sun.

Anna felt Delenn's presence without exactly knowing how. A faint perfume, the rustle of robes, a knowledge of peace informed senses other than sight. Without opening her eyes, she remarked, "John was always drawn to Asian culture. I think he would have liked this garden."

"He did." Delenn took a seat next to Anna, her robes settling around her like a flutter of wings. "And your opinion?"

"It's so small." Anna sighed. "I don't think I could ever get used to station life. I'm used to planets, mostly empty planets, with expansive areas of nearly deserted territory to explore." She laughed. "Not that I haven't found myself in some tight spots. Once on Mars, one of the first digs I went on after graduate school, we had to crawl through partially collapsed tunnels...from the first colony, the one that was abandoned. There were rumors of artifacts left by some ancient civilization. Or perhaps ancient visitors. I found that I have mild claustrophobia on that expedition. Sometimes I feel the same way here."

The quality of Delenn's silence began to alarm Anna. "What's wrong?" she asked, surprised by the paleness of her friend's face. "It's not that bad, the claustrophobia, just a little uneasiness. I do okay on board ship, and that's tighter quarters than this station." Suspicious, she continued, "What about you? Are you feeling well?" Dr. Hobbs' warning came to the front of her mind and she examined her friend closely.

Delenn sighed heavily. "Susan is determined to follow John's plan. She will leave the station soon, with the fleet. Perhaps this very evening. Perhaps tomorrow. I will remain for a while and direct operations here. It is your people's fight, those were John's words, and he is right." Her eyes glistened for a moment. "Our other plans, John's and mine, those I must work towards, even though he may not live to see them come to fruition."

Anna leaned forward and pressed Delenn's hand, which lay on the bench between them, limp and white. "John's tough, you know. He'll hang in there until we can get him out. Then we'll have years and years to figure out everything else. Your plans, the Alliance, the three of us, our future..." Her voice trailed off as Delenn broke quietly into tears, her other hand covering her mouth as if to cut off speech. "Is something else wrong? Is there more news?" Anna heart thudded in apprehension.

Delenn shook her head, and managed to choke out, "No. No word yet." Struggling for control, her hand slid down her throat and caught on the decoration which had been her mother's. Clutching at the dangling brooch like a talisman, she straightened her back and said, "There is something you need to know."

Anna waited patiently as Delenn seemed to search for the words. "When John went to Z'ha'dum," she began.

Anna interrupted, "When I talked him into going, you mean. Oh, I know it wasn't really me, but would he have gone on his own? Without my coming back to urge him?"

"I think he would have. Kosh meant him to, that is my understanding." Delenn looked past Anna, lost in remembrance. "Of course, Kosh would have gone with him, and then maybe it would not have happened."

"What?" broke in Anna. "What happened to him there? Did they get into his mind, like they did mine? He didn't seem affected that way. Did Lorien protect him, stand in for Kosh?"

Delenn struggled for a moment, as if searching for words, then finally said in a toneless voice of despair and acceptance, "John died there. He died on Z'ha'dum, that is what happened. He fell and was lost, to me, to all of us. It was Lorien that brought him back, at least," she concluded in a whisper, "at least for a little while."

Anna stared in blank incomprehension. Then her mind caught on the last few words, like a falling leaf spinning into a spider web. "A little while?"

"John did not want you to know," Delenn leaned forward, pinning Anna with her eyes, dark with remembered and renewed pain. "But he was wrong. You deserve to know, as much as I do, and especially now, when we do not know where he is or when he is coming back to us." Her voice trailed off in anguish. Then she sat back and said painfully, "Twenty years more or less. That was Lorien's gift." A tear, then two, started again to trickle down her cheek. "Barring accident or illness."

"Or torture or captivity?" asked Anna, wrapping her arms around herself. The skin of her arms felt cold and clammy. Shock, she diagnosed impassively.

Delenn's head drooped. "Perhaps. I do not know."

Anna's voice was chill and distant. "You should have told me. Either of you. Both of you."

"Yes," replied Delenn, lips tight against the echo of old memory.

"I think you should go now," said Anna abruptly. The need to be left alone, by all these people she didn't really know, crashed over her head in a wave. The only person she really knew, really wanted to see...he wasn't here. And he hadn't trusted her.

Delenn rose slowly, then staggered, her weight shifting as if she had lost her balance. Her hand fell heavily on Anna's shoulder. Anna did not move or even look in her direction, and Delenn left without another word.