D is for Deafen

The silence was deafening.

Darcy stood in the doorway and watched her team reacting to the newcomer. Tasha sat in a chair in the furthest corner, her hard eyes watching his every move. Clint perched on the table behind her, ready to back her up in whatever way she needed. Bruce lurked in the kitchen, keeping an eye on things over the bar, his eyes darting from one face to the next. Pepper had greeted him with a calm, but reserved manner.

Steve stood a few feet in front of him, clearly torn on how to react. His desire to fold Bucky into the team was clear, but so too was his need to support the others. The sharp contrast between hope and fear in his eyes ripped at Darcy's heart.

Tony was nowhere to be seen.

She was going to kill him.

Darcy stepped forward, taking a breath. "Why don't we-"

"What happened to takeout?" Tony breezed in behind her. "I specifically recall requesting food."

Kill him; don't kill him…she needed to flip a coin.

Tony scooted around her, poking her in the ribs. "That was your job." He kept going, not giving her the chance to respond. The room held its collective breath as he strolled up to their newest member and looked him over. "So, Nuada, both Agent and Miss Stacked seem to think you're a fit for the team."

"Agent?" Barnes asked after sending a quick glance at Darcy.

"Yeah," Tony replied, waving a hand. "Stoic, expressionless suit who still manages to be more fun than Eyepatch."

"Coulson?"

"Well, I certainly wasn't talking about Hill," Tony huffed. "She's less fun than Fury." He tilted his head. "You do realize to be part of this team you either have to be an absolute genius or practically insane, right? We don't do things by half measure."

Darcy rubbed her forehead. The scale was tipping back towards the 'kill Tony' side.

"Which one are you?" Barnes asked, a smirk edging the corners of his mouth.

Tony blinked. "Oh, funny guy." He shook his head. "We've got Featherhead for sarcastic commentary, thanks."

"Tony-" Darcy started.

"No, no," Tony flapped a hand at her. "We're talking here." He turned back and watched Barnes repress a smile. "What?"

Barnes lifted an eyebrow. "I'm guessing you put yourself down on the genius end of the scale?" Tony gave him an insulted look. "Just wanted to be clear." He shrugged. "Anybody that goes around interrupting a woman like that," he gestured to Darcy, "might need to be reclassed."

"Miss Stacked and I have an understanding," Tony answered haughtily.

"Yeah," Darcy muttered under her breath. "The understanding that I'm going to kill you in a minute."

He tossed a quick grin in her direction, but focused on Barnes. "So?"

"If you're a genius, what are the others?"

Tony turned around the room pointing to each person. "Pepper and Nat are both geniuses; Featherhead and Capsicle are crazy; Bruce and Miss Stacked are both." He rubbed his chin. "For the record, when you meet them later, Betty's a genius, Thor is crazy, and Jane is both. I can fill you in on anybody else later." His eyes narrowed. "So, where do you fit?"

"Probably a little of both," Barnes replied.

"Huh." Tony stared at him. "We can work with that." He turned around, seeming to dismiss Barnes from his mind, to look at Darcy. "You know, I still don't see any takeout."

She glared at him, but the mood of the room lightened slightly as people smiled or laughed or relaxed. She sighed. "Okay, okay, JARVIS and I will order your damn takeout." She stalked away, holding in a relieved smile.

Tony had come through and broken the ice. Maybe she wouldn't have to kill him now.

"Hey, Lewis, order us a cake too!"

Then again…