Chapter 8

Make Up Your Bloody Mind

"Goodbye, Draco…" I whispered as I turned away and began to open the door.

"One last thing, my pendant." My hand slid over the silver dragon around my neck and my thumb played over the emerald. I felt so alone in that moment. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I take a risk and deal with the outcome?

Then I thought of my mother and father. She was a Ravenclaw and he was as close as she would find to a Slytherin outside of Hogwarts. She'd fallen in love with him and they'd gotten married but she couldn't handle his obsession with dark wizardry, she couldn't make up her mind, and ultimately decided she couldn't take the risks.

Where had that gotten her? It had turned her into a miserable wretch of a person that shielded her daughter from the same things she was afraid of, even if it meant hiding her from her own father. I didn't want to turn into her, an indecisive ball of misery. I needed to take a chance now.

"Hello… Persy, I want my pendant back."

"I love you, Draco." I covered the pendant back up with my shirt. "I'm just afraid." I took a deep breath and turned around. "But I'm more afraid of going out of this door and never hearing from you again." His stone stare ate into me and I felt as though a giant hole had been drilled through my torso. I started again. "I'm sorry. You were trying to be romantic and I had to screw it up. I'm just so afraid of being used, or hurt, or-."

"Be quiet for a goddamned second." I bit my tongue then let out a deflated breath. This was the turning point. It was either a go now, or I lost him, which again was all my fault. No more games. "You… are groveling at me? This is a new turn of events." He smiled. "I sort of like it." He approached and I held myself guarded in case he twisted his words at the last minute. He took a deep breath then let it out, holding back his shoulders.. "It's empowering." His brows rose and fell.

"Yes, and right now I'm giving you that power." I swallowed.

"What to do. What to do." His eyes roamed over me and I wished he would just make a decision. I glared up at him impatiently and he began to trail his finger down my shoulder and arm. "So if we were together… would it be in secret… or not?" I didn't want to be a secret. "On one hand having the whole school know would boost your popularity." He shook his finger at me. "On the other hand… there is something sexy about secrecy…"

"By the time you make a decision I'll be too old to have kids." I threw my hands onto my hips and began to tap my foot. His shoe trapped mine and held my foot down.

"Stop that, I'm thinking."

"By the time you're done thinking I will have died from old age." I glared at him.

"You will have merely blossomed with patience." He glared stonily and raised his hands.

"Just put me out of my misery already." My hand jumped to my face to block any impending tears and I felt his fingers brush the hair from my face.

"I'll give you a chance." My hand shot from my face and I kissed him. He slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me against him. "Only one catch, Persy." He nibbled my bottom lip. "Everyone knows by breakfast tomorrow."

"Why?" I asked. Why did everyone need to know now? I would be happy in secret.

"Because those are my terms. You can either accept or not." I kissed him again, letting him know that I would agree. "Good."

"I really should get to bed." I said.

"Stay here with me. If we are caught my father will get us out of it." I kissed him again.

"As much as I would like to bend the rules, my good judgment says you should walk me back."

"Persy…"

"Please?" I ran my fingers through his hair gently and he nuzzled my hand, then kissed the palm.

"Alright." So we left and he took me back to my room. It was a quiet walk and slightly enjoyed. It was nice to be next to him without worrying who would yell at whom next, or who would insult and who would leave. His hand slipped in mine as we approached Ravenclaw house and he kissed it. "I love you." He smirked evilly. "Goodnight, Persy."

He kissed me and left me there. So I went, answered the riddle, then wandered in and curled up in my bed. It was nice to sleep. For once I didn't have stress and worries washing through my mind as I tried to rest. I was peaceful. A new leaf had been turned over in my life.

The next morning I awoke well rested. I felt crisp and fresh, a feeling I hadn't had in a long time, not at Hogwarts anyway. I dressed quietly but Luna was already awake with an enchanted brush running through her hair. She stared out of the window whimsically.

"Beautiful morning, Persephone, don't you think?"

"Yes, beautiful." I smiled.

"I think this will be a good day, the sun is high and clouds are scarce."

"I hope so."

"Everything okay?" She turned around and raised her brows.

"Yes, just one thing."

"Sure."

"Whatever you find out today, don't think of me any different."

"What do you mean?" She stood up and walked wispily toward me. "I'm not one to judge."

"You'll find out most likely at breakfast. I like being friends with you. I don't want that to change."

"It won't." She smiled.

"Good. See you at breakfast."

"Sure." She turned around and went back to her seat and I left the room.

I entered the great hall which was already swarming with students and noted that I was as invisible as ever. He hadn't told anyone. It was a slight relief because I hadn't wanted a ton of stares when I entered the room, but it was also disappointing because he'd said everyone would know by breakfast. I'd assumed that that meant he was going to spread the word.

So I walked on glancing over at the Slytherin table which seemed booming save for the fact that it was mostly girls. I shrugged mentally and headed over to my own table, plopping down with a light sigh. Eggs and sausage appeared before me and I dove in immediately. Ever since I'd passed out Luna watched me like a hawk, so I knew she'd make sure I'd eaten everything.

"What's this that is so important?" Luna said as she arrived beside me with her brows raised.

"Oh nothing. I just thought something would happen this morning. False alarm. I'll tell you later."

"Oh." Her food appeared and she took a few bites. "We haven't been friends long but I wonder, Persy. Would you like to visit my father and I over spring break?" I grinned.

"Of course I would!" The table went quiet and Luna's eyes trailed behind me, along with everyone else.

"What are you doing sitting here?" His voice rang out smug and condescending as always. I turned and looked up at him. He was sneering and I was confused. Had he decided that we should be secret and wanted to make it public that we were still fighting?

"This is my table…" I said softly.

"Nonsense! Come on then." He reached down and took my arm, pulling me strongly out of my seat. As he dragged me away I mouthed an apology to Luna whose expression was complete shock.

Soon we landed just beside the Slytherin table where every eye was on us but a select few girls. I did everything in my power to avoid eye contact with anyone, especially the boys. I just knew they were snickering at me.

"Do I have to sit here?" I whispered to him as my eyes met Crabbe and Goyle who were both donning knowing smirks, then an unrecognizable boy who licked his lips and nodded. My stomach turned and I found myself hanging onto Draco's cape.

"Silly question. Sit down." He replied. There was only room for one person to sit and it was right between Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Bailey. I took in a deep breath.

"There's only room for you. Can't I just go back to-?"

"No." He stepped forward and hovered over Pansy. "You're sitting in Persephone's seat." He said. She turned her head and stared blankly at him then at me and sneered as if something had a terrible odor.

"Persephone's seat? You're kidding me Draco."

"Am I?" He reached over and grabbed my arm, pulling me beside him. "Tell her, Persy." I stared on in horror. I was not about to say anything of the sort!

"I…uhh.. I-."

"See? Now find another place to sit."

"Oh my god." She looked me up and down as she stood up. "Seriously Draco, what in the bloody hell?"

"Other end of the table, Pansy." She huffed off and Draco sat down immediately shoveling food in his mouth and joking with his friends. I just stood there with eyes on me and an abhorrent discomfort in my stomach. "Come, sit down." He patted the seat and I still hesitated. There was no way this could be a trick now. Right?

"It might be best if I didn't." He dropped his food on his plate and stared at me with a blank expression then unexpectedly got up and picked me off of the floor, sitting me down. Then he sat beside me unfazed, diving right back into his food and conversation. The boys chatted on like everything was normal, like no one strange was sitting at their table.

A new plate of food appeared before me but I didn't touch it. I stared down at it as if it were a crystal ball and fell into my thoughts. If I blocked them all out, blocked out the situation, then it would be over before I knew it. I thought of the night before, which would have been perfect if I hadn't become self righteous, but wasn't able to immerse myself in my thoughts as usual. The anxiety of sitting at the Slytherin table wouldn't let that happen.

"Persy." I heard my name but didn't reply. Pretend they hadn't said it and they'd go away. "Persy." I just stared at my plate and ignored it again. "Persy, hello." His hand shook my leg and my eyes shot to him. "Good, there you are. Now, I was telling Blaise here about your great enthusiasm to see his most infamous potion."

"You were?" I asked confusedly. I had no interest in seeing anyone's potion.

"Yes. He's ever so good at it. Maybe in potions today?"

"Umm… Sure." I said. His eyes fell on mine like two rigid boulders.

"Are you uncomfortable, Persy?" He slid his arm around my waist and pulled me against him. "There, is that better?" He continued to eat with one hand while keeping his other hand clamped to my waist. "Everyone knows." My eyes enlarged. I knew it. That's why the boys were late to breakfast. He'd probably told them all before they left. I did feel a little more calm but still wished I were elsewhere. "Oh, and did you all know that Persy's father is Gustav Gutweg?" He rubbed my side and it took a second to sink in. He'd just told every Slytherin in school who my father was.

I glared at him, and I glared evilly. At that moment I felt I did fit in because I could rip him to shreds. The people around me were children of death eaters and Draco had just told them all that my father was the great Gustav Gutweg. Was he insane?

"Draco." I said.

"Yes, love." I couldn't respond, just put my head in my hand.

"You're the missing Gutweg? Oh wow, pleased to meet you." A boy said that I'd gone to school with for the entire six years. He shook my hand vigorously. Missing? I'd never been missing.

"Thanks…" I glanced over at Pansy who glared at us angrily. She wasn't fazed at all.

"Then why is her name Moonbeam?" One girl said.

"Yeah, why?" another girl chimed in with a haughty smug expression.

"My mother changed it." I stared her down.

"Why ever would she do that?" The boy who'd praised me asked.

"Because she didn't want me to fall in with the wrong crowd." I raised my brows and he looked at me like I was a leper.

"Wrong crowd?" He asked and I nodded.

"Doesn't seem her plan worked did it? That Neville Longbottom, now that is the wrong crowd." said Draco. I turned on him.

"How so?" I was irritable. Why did he have to bring up my friends? Was it because I'd been involved with him?

"He's a Longbottom for starters. Some wizarding families are better than others. You should know that by now. You are so cute." He laughed, I didn't.

"Better?" I said. He went on with the conversation taking it into another subject with the boys surrounding us. "Excuse me. I was talking to you." He stopped and shifted his gaze to me.

"Go ahead."

"Do you really think because you have me sit at your table that I'm going to turn on my friends?"

"Honey. You can feel however you want about them, but I will disagree." His two cronies laughed and I glared at them.

"Do you two pinheads ever think for yourselves?" I shot out. "No. I wouldn't guess that you do. Idiots. You're the Beavis and Butthead of Hogwarts." They stared on at me as well as a few of their friends. "Wait, you aren't even smart enough for them."

"Who are Beavis and Butthead?" Goyle asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Point proven." I said. They stared at me then glanced at Draco for help. He looked at me then at them.

"She's right. Even Longbottom is smarter than you." I elbowed him. "What?"

"I don't care what you think of him but don't say it around me."

"You're at my table."

"And you dragged me over here. Shall I go back?" He sneered and turned to his friends, holding his finger up.

"Excuse us." He flicked his wand and a large bubble barrier appeared around just the two of us so that no one could hear.

"You can't do the smallest thing for me?!" I held out my hands to make a point.

"I am not going to change for you. Love me the way I am or not at all." He shouted back.

"I don't want you to change. I want you to show a little respect for my presence. You do supposedly love me after all."

"I do respect you!" he sneered.

"Enough to drag me into your group of friends who have loathed me and teased me for six years."

"They don't loathe you. They admire you."

"They admire my father. I wonder if it's the same with you, since you disregard my feelings so easily."

"Persy…"

"What? What is this if only one side considers the other?"

"Fine." He undid the spell and I stared at him. "So, I hear that Gryffindor house has a new secret Quidditch play." He said to one fellow player. I huffed in triumph.

"Really?" The boy replied.

"Yes, Harry Potter supposedly has a new technique and I plan to find out what it is." Now he was talking about Harry. Well, I wasn't really a friend of Harry so I could stand that. Harry was after all his rival.

I squeezed Draco's thigh in appreciation for his compliance. He glanced snottily at me which I knew meant 'You're welcome.' He responded with his hand over my back then down to my buttocks and gripped.

"Great. Gryffindor doesn't have a chance!" A girl grinned in Draco's face and he waved his hand back and forth.

"Is that your normal breath or did you gargle with kitty litter this morning?" He pushed her away and she frowned. How mean that had been, but I wasn't surprised. He'd said much worse things to me.

Her pout was heartbreaking but it didn't last long. Soon she was in conversation with another girl and smiling. Was she just shallow or was there a method to this disregard for emotions? If there was then I wanted to know.

"Do I have bad breath?" A boy grabbed my arm and turned me away from Draco then breathed at me. I coughed not from his breath but the sudden unexpected jolt, then there was a flash and a push over my shoulder. Draco had jumped around my shoulder and thrown the boy against the table.

"If you ever bloody touch her again I will exterminate you and they will never find your body!" I stared on in fear with my eyes wide and my mouth hanging open, just as everyone else seemed to do. I glanced away and noticed Snape heading toward our table.

"Draco, let him go." Snape said. But Draco didn't.

"I warned you not to touch her." he said.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" The boy cried. "I was only-."

"Draco…" I slid my hand over his arm and he jerked it away. "Will you walk me to Arithmancy?" I stood up and slid my hand through his arm, seeing Snape stop out of the corner of my eye. He still held the boy. "Please?" He released the boy and stood up.

"You're lucky." He said to him then slid his arm around me. I glanced at Snape and he nodded, then we left and as soon as we left the Great Hall I quickly turned around, pulled him down to me, and kissed him. "Mmm…What was that for?"

"Because you think you have to fight other guys away. It's cute, but I know how to take care of myself. I've stood up to you for six years."

"And see how well that worked." He winked and kissed me again. "I won't take any chances." His arms wrapped around me and we kissed for a while.

"Ahem!" I knew that sound as soon as it was uttered. That was Mcgonnagal. "Ahem." Our lips parted and we both looked at her. "Split it up now. Both of you off to class." I nodded at her and he just sneered. She lifted her brows and I grabbed his hand pulling him along.

"That old bag needs to be taken off of her pedestal."

"No she doesn't. She's just doing her job, Draco." I said as we turned the corner. He turned me around and pushed me against the wall, pressing his lips hard against mine, his hand slipping under my cape and around my back. "What was that for?" I said.

"Because you're irresistible." I smiled at him mirthfully. "Gods…"

"What?"

"That's the first time you've ever genuinely smiled at me."

Worry seemed to have washed away for a short period of time and I took advantage of it. Walking down my usual route I held a silly smile on my face.

I opened my bag and looked at a beautiful rose clamped in one of my less read books. Still in good shape. I smiled to myself. Maybe it was possible to have the things I wanted.

"Filthy bint!" A screeching voice rang in my ears, Pansy. "Do you think you're pretty now? Putting your hair down doesn't fit you at all. Draco doesn't like you, Neville doesn't like you, I don't like you, no one likes you. The new look only makes Phony Persy seem like she's trying too hard." I flipped around and stared her in the face.

"I only thought I'd distract everyone from your dastardly whine Pansy. Merlin knows it's like having someone drill for oil in your ears." I retorted.

"How dare-"

"How dare me? I'm sick of your wisecracks and insults. Piss off Pansy!" I said. Her mouth dropped open and I viewed Draco coming fast toward us. I sped past Pansy, almost pushing her down as I did so and heard a screech expel from the vile girl.

"Persy!" He smiled and outstretched his arms as if he were going to hug me. I marched toward him and slapped him as hard as I could. He held his head to the side with a hand over the affected cheek. "What in the bloody f-"

"I told you I wasn't playing your games. Nice try, sicking your friends on me. If you ever come near me again you'll know the real meaning of a Constrixi!" I smirked at the red handprint blemishing his perfect pale face. That's what you get for being such a prick! I pulled his rose out of my bag and threw it at his feet. "You'll need this for your next conquest!" I stormed away from him as fast as I could with hopes that my words stung him.

Absolutely devastated I fled out of the school to my safe place. Something always cut me back down to size when happiness came close. Call it fate, call it destiny, I called it a curse. A satirical chuckle burst from my mouth. His name fit him. 'Draco Malfoy' the dragon of bad faith. His parents did well in choosing it.

I couldn't sit through those last two classes. If I were to see him right then I might just get myself sent to Azkaban. He was a slimy, filthy toad and deserved any sort of torture befallen him. I thought of the scene in the room of requirement when he'd told me he loved me, of the many times he told me he loved me.

Desolate, that was the word to describe my life at Hogwarts. I wished that my mother had allowed me to attend Durmstrang. I could have studied the dark arts there and maybe even fit in.

Upon arriving by the lake I instantly dropped and settled into my favorite spot under the willow. Memories flooded me and I saw my book floating in the water. That carried my thoughts back to Draco handing me the soaked object. Did he really find the book or did Neville retrieve it and push Draco in after he'd taken it. I'd probably never know. It didn't matter anymore, neither of them mattered anymore.

The breeze was crisp and chilled. I suddenly remembered a story my mother told me as a child. In Greek mythology she had said, there was a daughter of Zeus and Demeter named Persephone (my namesake) who was admired by many. Hades, god of the underworld, fell in love with Persephone and took her to be his queen. Persephone's mother wandered the land in search of her. Finally after searching long and hard she came upon Helios who described the event in detail.

Demeter grew deeply depressed and in this depression her neglect stopped all growth on earth. To restore the natural order of things Zeus sent Hermes to persuade Hades into freeing Persephone. Hades eventually released her but gave her a pomegranate which was a food of the dead that forever bound her to the underworld.

Forever after Persephone would have to return to the underworld for part of the year and during this portion Demeter would fall into a depression causing the world to be temporarily infertile. Winter.

Persephone the goddess was a far cry from Persephone the witch. I'd never thought I was remotely pretty and there surely wasn't a god of the underworld in love with me. No one was in love with me. Loved by many… or in the case of Persy the witch; loved by none.

If I hadn't let Draco take my heart on a rendezvous I wouldn't be this emotional mess. Why would he draw up a plan so intricate just to humiliate me? So I skipped my classes and here I was; skipped my classes, so what? It wasn't like I'd be missed. No, not missed at all. Snape would call my name out of habit and I wouldn't be there to respond. When there was no response he would move on to the next student and call them out, most likely Draco.

The water glided softly in never-ending ripples; it was so delicate, with the tiniest speck causing a disturbance throughout the entire lake. I was reminded of Draco again and I didn't want to think of him.

I pulled my cloak about me and threw a pebble in. It sank. Damn. Then another pebble skipped across the lake. It wasn't mine. I saw a reflection nearby and recognized it as Neville. He was unkempt and was that stubble on his face?

"'Ello." said Neville.

"Hey…" I replied.

"Had a bad day?" he asked.

"You have no clue." I said. He treaded toward me slowly and yes that was stubble. He looked utterly distraught.

"You only come here to read or to get away. What happened?"

"Long story."

"Ah, me too." He took a seat beside me under the willow, grabbed another rock and skipped it. I wondered if he'd missed me and that's why he was disheveled. "A girl rejected me." …or maybe not.

"Oh… well I'm sorry. I wish I could comfort you but I'm kind of in the same boat." My eyes drifted back over the rippling lake. The sun was setting causing the sky to turn into a rainbow of pastels and reflect on the water.

"Who rejected you?" he asked. I didn't answer. He knew very well who'd rejected me. The one he left pinning me against the wall, the one he was scared to fight, that's who. "Draco?" he asked. I still didn't respond. If I were to say his name I'd cry and I didn't feel like crying. "Bastard! After he swore to me he wouldn't hurt you! That lying bastard!"

"What?!" I shouted. "What are you talking about?"

"I'll kill him!" He jumped to his feet.

"Neville!" I exclaimed. He stared down at me for a second then threw the last rock across the lake; it smacked a tree and fell to the ground below.

"I'm sorry Persy. I didn't even fight him. That was a lie. Even the black eye was a farce. A bit of a spell it was. He said that if I left you alone he'd take care of you and give you the things I couldn't. He said he loved you and that he had since first year. If I had only known…" He dropped to his knees and grabbed my hand. "Oh Persy, I'm so sorry. I do love you."

Neville covered my hands in kisses and apologies. I didn't know how to react. One reality became another. What was true and what wasn't?

"Persy."

"Yes?"

"Go to the dance with me. I mean if you'll still have me…"

It would be good to get my mind away from Draco but then I wasn't sure Neville wouldn't hurt me again. What would it harm to just go to the dance with him? I needed a little comfort and honestly something to free my spirit.

"All right," I said. He slipped his arm around my waist and kissed me. I found no point in resisting. It was nice to be in his arms again. I rested my head on his shoulder and let out a deep sigh.

"I've missed you Persy." He whispered in my ear.

"Kind Neville-" I began.

"Well if it isn't our misfit Neville Longbottom. Looking to score? I tell you she's a feisty one. You might try someone a little closer to your league? Maybe Loony Luna." Draco laughed. Why couldn't he stay out of my life, just leave me alone? I pulled away from Neville and my hands shot to my eyes. I wasn't going to cry, not here, not in front of both of them! I refused to.

"Your grandmum owled you Longbottom, she said she needed your urgent response. Dumbledore says hurry. I bet she's lost her rememberall. I'm sure it runs in the family since it seems you've lost yours again. Forgetting something Neville?" He chortled. I was reminded of first year when he took Neville's rememberall and Harry had retrieved it from him. What a cruel act that was. "Well? Hurry along! Going to keep your grandmother waiting?"

Neville hopped to his feet. He grasped one of my hands and pulled me up with him. A kiss was planted on my lips before I could protest and I thought I heard a growl from Draco's direction. Neville's eyes connected with mine and I nodded.

"Run along now, can't keep her waiting now, can we?" Draco added. I shot a glare at him that would kill if glares could. He smirked and winked at me! My blood was boiling.

"I'll go with you," I slipped my fingers through Neville's and he threw me a sideways smile.

"I'd better go alone Persy." His eyes flipped toward Draco then back to me. He seemed suddenly disheartened. "We're still on?" I answered him with a kiss.

"Better get going Longbottom!" added Draco.

"Yes. We're still on." I glanced at Draco who looked furious now. Neville was already hurrying toward the school and treading rapidly. I watched after him. I should have gone with him anyway. Draco closed in on me and snatched my arm. He flipped me around a bit painfully.

"You move on quick, don't you? After everything…"

"Let go of me." His grip only tightened and I was sure there would be bruises on my arms in the morning.

"You presumptuous…"

"What?" I yanked my arms in an attempt to escape. "You can't call me a mudblood anymore so what is it?"

"Affliction. That's what you are. You're a disease growing and festering in my soul. I can't be rid of you. …and I'll call you what I like!"

"Let go! Release me or I'll…"

"Cast a Constrixi? Do it! Do it, Persy! I'd rather be writhing and bound than deal with your wishy washy decisions any longer." He released me and opened his arms wide. "Hurt me! Do it!"

My face fell in my hands. I doubled over and started crying. Who knew the first time he welcomed attack that I wouldn't have the guts to do it? Warm arms wrapped around me. They were too comforting to be him.

"Persy…"

I didn't respond.

"Persephone…"

I still didn't respond.

"Did you know she was a goddess? Hades fell in love with her and took her to the underworld-"

"I know the story." I said.

"All right…" He was silent for a moment. "I see myself as Hades. I'm madly in love with the one woman it seems I cannot have." This made me cry even more. If anyone had talent for making you feel absolutely horrible, it was him. I forced myself away from him and wiped the tears from my eyes.

"You're a liar. Pansy said enough. You were planning to humiliate me by sicking your friends on me. Here I believed you cared. For one split moment I thought you actually did love me." I scoffed.

"Pansy is jealous! I ridded myself of that loathsome cow! …right after Christmas…" He took a step toward me. His hand swept under my chin and lifted my face so that our eyes met. "You believed me?"

"Yes…"

"So?"

"Past tense. I believed you."

"Why do you attempt to make me feel wretched? Why do you believe everyone but me?" He kissed me and I didn't respond so he picked me up and carried me toward the school.

"Put me down."

"Why?"

"Because I said so that's why!"

"If I put you down are you going to slap me again? Because if you are I can tell you I'm not keen on putting you down."

"I won't slap you." I wrapped my arms around his neck to hold myself steady.

"I don't believe you. You enjoy slapping me." He tightened his arms around me and I felt strangely safe. A laugh escaped me. "Find my pain funny do you?"

"Only when you deserve it." I smirked and he planted me on the ground.

"Don't I always?" He raised his brow.

"Not always." He advanced on me and I moved backward.

"My gods Persephone! I'll be in St. Mungos by the time you're finished!"

"Neville…"

"What about him? What does he matter?"

"He loves me."

"I love you!" I was silent once again. Why did those words hurt? Was it because I thought he was lying or because I believed him?

"Don't say that anymore…"

"I don't get you." He moved in close to me and stroked that unruly hair from my eyes. "You don't love me. Is that it? I can live with that. You do not need to love me."

"No- It's not-" I could feel the tears rise in my eyes again and begin streaming down my cheeks. "I need time to think." One of his arms wrapped around me. The other moved his hand to my face where his thumb wiped away the wetness.

"Crying doesn't become you. It's rather ugly really, stop."

"Just when I think well of you, you say something like that!" I pulled his hand away from my face. "Can you say nothing kind?"

"I said I loved you didn't I? Over and over and over. You still won't get it through your thick head." He kissed my forehead then my lips. "But take your time to think and I'll take care of Pansy. I'll see you in class. Oh and in the meantime, make up your bloody mind." I nodded in acceptance and he left me there. I watched him head into the school and my heart ached.

I followed shortly after. I needed to get some much needed rest. There was one thing you could say, my life wasn't boring anymore. Drama was always conspiring someplace awaiting the ideal time to add a shock factor.

Slumber that night shunned me. I dreamt of Draco, I dreamt of Neville, I dreamt I was with my father again. He was perusing through one of the books he'd written. The book snapped shut and he held it in front of me.

"Never judge a book on its binding," He ran his finger over the edging. "its cover," He knocked on the top cover and slid his hand over the title. "its parchment," He opened the book and sifted through the pages. "or any other physical or outward matter pertaining to it. Judge it by the quality and beauty of its contents." I fell into my fathers arms and cried. He was there for me like never before. His embrace was so comforting I never wanted to wake.

"I'm so confused."

"Why? The answer is simple Pers."

"How can you say that?"

"Have you questioned my philosophies before?" I shook my head. "Good. Now, this is the only advice I can give and please heed it." I nodded in agreement. "These boys say they love you, correct?"

"Yes father."

"Then it's simple. Choose the one you love."

I woke from my dream to the sound of something clanking against my window; Rocks. It had to be Neville. My feet hopped off of the bed and guided me to the window where just as I thought Neville was standing below motioning me to come. I nodded, changed out of my pajamas into something a bit warmer and sneaked outside.

"What is it?" I whispered.

"I just needed to see you." He shifted nervously.

"You needed to see me in the middle of the night?"

"Persy, my mum didn't owl me. Dumbledore thought I'd gone loony. I don't know why Draco's making things up but I'm going to get to the bottom of it." I felt defensive and I couldn't believe what I was going to say.

"I know why. Just leave him alone."

"Persy…" His hand rested on my shoulder for a spell until I eventually looked up at him. "Alright."

"Thank you." I replied.

"You are enchanting."

"What?"

"You are. You always seem to be surprised when someone shows their feelings for you." He leaned in to kiss me but stopped short. "May I kiss you?" He wasn't going to just kiss me? Draco would have stolen the opportunity and had my legs on fire by now.

"Yes." I didn't like having to give him permission. If it had been Draco he wouldn't have asked at all. The kiss was soft and sweet. I wasn't ablaze but was surely enjoying it. He was a good kisser.

"I think it is best I go back to bed." I glimpsed what I thought was Draco out of the corner of my eye as the kiss ended. No it couldn't be. Why would he be out in the middle of the night? When I fixed my eyes on the spot no-one was there. It had been my imagination.

"… I love you." I didn't know how to respond and I couldn't say it back, not unless I meant it. So, I just kissed him on the cheek and told him to get some sleep.

"Good night Neville." I crept back to my room and plopped on my bed. What would happen next? Was Draco going to throw a rock at my window and have me make another trip outside? No, that wasn't his style. He'd be more cunning, conspiratorial, but then, I had told him I needed to think. Maybe he would leave me alone altogether.