How Did the Guilt Begin, You Ask? Well

by becoolsodapop73

AU This is he prequel to my other story, "The Guilt is Necessary". It starts the morning after the rape, when Dick finds her in the bedroom. It also deals with the events referred to in the Guilt is Necessary: Discovering the rapist, Aaron Echolls' arrest, Dick and Veronica friendship, and Cassidy swan diving off the roof of the Neptune Grande. BTW I am also looking for a Beta.

5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Veronica's POV

"Uhh, thanks for taking me to the… um, you know.."

"It's alright Ronnie, do you want me to stay for a bit?"

Dick leant forward out of his car window and put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"No, it's fine, I think my dad's home, I should talk to him"

My dad wasn't home. He wouldn't be home for another month. He's off on business in Chicago, but the idea of Dick knowing that made me a bit uncomfortable. My mom wasn't home either, but he definitely didn't need to know that.

"Okay, I'll call you later to check in"

"Oh, Dick, you don't have to it's fine, we can just forget about this really, just please don't tell Logan?"

He looked at me like I was a crazy person, blue eyes a little too wide, mouth slightly open. I would have laughed if the situation had been at all funny.

"Ronnie, you have to get it into your head that you can trust me. I would never do anything to hurt you again"

"How am I supposed to believe that? Less than a year ago I didn't think any of you would do anything to hurt me, but that was bullshit wasn't it!"

He looked me in the eyes,

"Ronnie, if you were an idiot, what would you have done?"

I softened slightly,

"You're not an idiot, Dick"

"Ronnie, my name is Dick"

Laughing softly,

"By choice"

"Exactly"

We both chuckled together, and I marvelled at the safety I felt, I felt like I trusted him, so maybe that meant that I did trust him.

"Okay Richard, I believe you, but still, no Logan!"

"Fine. And Richard? Really?"

"You wanted to be taken seriously!"

"Dick's fine, I think"

"Suit yourself"

He grinned,

"Bye Ronnie"

"Bye Dicky"

I walked up the steps to the door.

I opened the door.

I screamed.

One, long, bloodcurdling scream.

I screamed for Lily, for Logan, for Duncan, for Dick, for my mother and father, for virginity and rape and alcohol and bloody Shelly Pomroy. I screamed for drugs and bed sheets and blood and sex and fucking Logan Echolls for being my best friend and my nemesis.

I just screamed and didn't stop.

When I reached my bedroom I screamed for other things.

I screamed for pastel colours and skirts and long blonde hair. I screamed for photographs of four happy teens on a beach on homecoming night. I screamed for limos and parties and pools and pep squads and car washes and ashtrays and every bloody thing that lead up to this moment. All I could do is scream.

Scream and pull my clothes from my dresser. Scream and throw them out the window. Scream and cut off my hair with a jagged knife. Scream and throw the locks from the floor to join the cloud of pink floating in the rain. Ink turning the street bloody.