Author's Notes: 129 reviews? 101 follows? 43 favorites? You guys, I can't tell you all how much I appreciate you going on this journey with me! It means the world to me that you all take time from your busy schedules to read what I've written. Truly it's very overwhelming and I appreciate each and every one of you!
Having said that, don't get too mad at me about this chapter :)
Disclaimer: I still own nothing. I don't like to talk about it.
Jo tried once again to get comfortable in her bed. She was having more and more difficulty finding a position that didn't make her ache somewhere. The past few weeks of bedrest had really done a number on her back. She again repositioned trying to do so quietly to not disturb Alex, who was facing away from her when he shifted on his bed.
"What's up?" he asked, his voice rough from sleep.
"Nothing, just can't get comfortable. Go back to sleep," she whispered.
Alex turned his head to face her, "How can I sleep knowing you're miserable?"
Jo smiled to herself, "Try."
Alex looked at the ceiling and sighed, "Jo I need to tell you something."
"You gonna tell me a bedtime story?" she teased. Jo could tell by his silence that he was serious. She turned on her left side to fully face him, "What's up?"
Alex sighed and rubbed his face, "God, I don't know how to say this."
Jo's heart fluttered with anxiety. It was rare that he ever seemed nervous to talk to her, "Alex whatever it is it will be okay. We'll get through it."
Alex turned to give her a half smile that quickly faded before turning back to the ceiling, "Izzie, my ex-wife, is here. She's a physician on staff."
Jo felt her blood boil, "How did you find that out? Has she been in here? Cause I told..." Jo immediately stopped not wanting to out herself, but it was too late.
"You told who what?" Alex asked curiously. He paused for a second thoughtfully, "You know who she is," he said matter-of-factly. "You knew she was here and you didn't tell me?"
"Of course I didn't. You don't need that stress right now Alex."
"And you do?" he questioned, his pitch increasing. "How long have you known?" Jo didn't answer and instead stared at the door wishing she could escape. "Damnit Jo, how long?"
Jo sighed deeply, "Pretty much since the day after our accident."
She glanced his way to see him staring at her in disbelief before he sharply turned away, "You should have told me."
"When Alex? You still aren't all that stable, when was I supposed to tell you? When you first woke up? 'Oh hey honey glad you woke up from that coma. Oh by the way your ex-wife is here, she wants to see you.'" Jo said sarcastically.
"Yes!" Alex said exasperated.
"You're being unreasonable," Jo stated firmly.
"You're supposed to have my back."
"I do. I told her to stay away from you!"
Alex was silent for a bit and Jo immediately recognized the flash of anger in his eyes, "Wait, you knew who she was and she knew who you were?" At Jo's small nod he thundered, "And you've been spending time together?"
"It's not how you think," Jo started.
"Oh I think it is. I know both of you remember? You tried to feel out her intentions and she tried to undermine my relationship with you which in turn made you build up me and our marriage. Am I close?" Jo nodded silently, unable to form a response. "Un-freaking-believable."
"Alex, don't get upset. I was just trying to help."
"You know what would have helped? You telling me about her yourself. I'm supposed to be able to depend on you to tell me the bad things. Not hear about it from some doctor I barely know. I've been freaking out for two days trying to figure out how to tell you that you've been unknowingly hanging out with her!"
Jo nodded in agreement, "You're right, I should have told you. But in my defense how could I not be at least a little curious? You never talk about her and it's not every day I get to spend time with her."
"Well thank God for small favors."
They were both silent for a while, the air thick with tension. Jo began to get worried with his silence, "Alex?"
She heard him sigh, "Yeah?"
"Are you okay?"
"I honestly don't know."
"Do you have a headache?" she asked worried about the effect of this stress on his injuries.
His voice mellowed some, "No. I'm okay."
She lay in silence for a bit, thankful for the partially broken tension, "Can I ask you something?"
"Maybe," he said with a slight teasing tone.
"Nevermind, it's a bad time."
"Come on Jo. You can always ask me anything."
Jo chewed on this a minute before blurting out, "Why didn't you tell her you were a foster child?"
Alex was silent for a few beats and Jo regretted asking the question, "You told her."
"I wasn't a hundred percent sure it was her at the time and we were more talking about me than you. It's just...you married her and she didn't know. How is that possible?"
Alex stared at the ceiling in deep thought, "It's kinda like how you didn't tell Douche Peckwell."
"Oh damnit Alex, that's different and you know it!"
"Hear me out. You weren't ready to tell him when I did it for you right? Because it was deeply personal and you had worked so hard to leave it in your past right?" Jo could only nod her head. "When do you think would have been a good time to tell him?"
Jo felt tears burn her eyes, "I don't know."
"It's just...I never planned to tell anyone about that. Seattle was my fresh start, a clean slate you know? You're the first person I have ever told of my own free will. By the time Izzie and I got serious it just seemed like too much time had gone by for me to drop that on her. Plus she was really sick. What was I supposed to say? 'Oh hey I heard you have more tumors, by the way I spent a couple of years in foster care as a kid.'"
"You were trying to protect her. I can understand that."
"Of course I was, she was so fragile. I...," he cut his eyes at her and smirked, "Touché."
Jo turned on her side to gaze at him, "Alex you have to believe me, I was trying to do what I thought was best for you. I would never do anything to purposefully hurt you. Please, you have to believe that," she begged.
Alex nodded before turning his head towards her, "I do."
Jo felt a rush of relief at the completely earnest look on Alex's face. Sometimes she loved him so much it physically hurt. "I have another OB appointment tomorrow. If I run into her again I can ask her to visit if you'd like to see her."
He gave a look of complete shock and confusion, "Hell no! Why would I want to see her? She's obviously a freaking train wreck if she's spending her days hanging out in here with us."
"Well if you change your mind I just want you to know it's fine with me. It's okay if you want to spend some time with her while you're here."
Alex laughed sarcastically, "Now why would I want to do that? Things with us are perfect like they are, why would I chance rocking the boat by seeing her?" Jo simply smiled at him before quietly laughing. "What is so freaking funny?" he asked with slight annoyance.
"Nothing. Just you saying things are perfect when I'm on bedrest, part of your skull has been removed, and you're stuck with a catheter." She looked over at him and smiled genuinely, "It's sweet."
"Whatever," he said gruffly but then looked at her sincerely. "My worst day with you is still ten times better than my best day with her."
Jo smiled brightly and tried to keep herself from crying. She didn't want to upset him, but she knew this sense of openness would not last long and she really wanted to know more about his other marriage. "She seems really nice," Jo ventured softly.
"Do nice people leave their husbands by writing a note and disappearing?" he asked with a hurt edge to his voice as he stared at the ceiling.
Jo immediately regretted saying anything, "Good point."
Alex was silent for a bit before sighing, "It's not that she wasn't a good person. It's just...she wasn't good for me. I always felt like my best self was never good enough for her. And I wore myself out trying to be this good guy that really wasn't me. I wasn't myself when I was with her."
Jo's heart broke a little at his words and the vulnerability in his voice. She suddenly wanted to kick Dr. Stevens' ass for hurting him so badly. "You are a good man Alex," she said with strong conviction. "A really good man...but you're also lucky to have found someone who enjoys it when you are a jerkface," she teased.
"I am thankful for that every day. You are the best gift I could have ever received," he said sincerely as they locked eyes.
Jo suddenly sat up on her bed, "Gift!"
She reached over to the bedside table searching for something she had prepared for him. "Jo, what's up? You're kinda freaking me out."
"Here it is!" she exclaimed, then tossed the paper airplane at him, hitting him square in the chest.
"What the hell?" Alex asked as he turned on the light with his bed controls.
"It's after midnight. Happy anniversary Alex."
Alex looked at her sadly, "This is not how I pictured us spending this day a year ago."
Jo smiled understandingly, "After the past few weeks I'm just thankful I still have you. I can't tell you how much I love you, Alex. There are not enough words." Alex smiled at her before opening the airplane. She could tell by his smile he was reading her sweet words of affection and she could tell the second he noticed her naughty 'coupons' at the bottom. She carefully got out of her bed and perched herself on the side of his, "Of course these are only redeemable when we are both medically cleared for such activities." She then leaned down to kiss him softly.
As she started to sit up, Alex grabbed the back of her head to pull her back down to him and quickly deepened the kiss. It lasted longer than she had expected before he pulled back breathlessly, "I love you Jo. Happy anniversary."