TITLE: All Is Right With The World
AUTHOR: Debbie Cullen DanaKat2003yahoo.ca
CLASSIFICATION: MSR
SUMMARY: Scully's thoughts and emotions as she sat by Mulder's bedside in DeadAlive.
NOTES: I tried to ignore this idea, but my brain wouldn't let it drop. Finally, I put pen to paper and it seemed like the only way I was going to be able to get past it and move on to other things.
She gazed down at his bruised and battered body. They had never been able to find out what had been done to him and she'd been forced to put him in the ground without knowing the truth – his or her own.
He had known so much sadness in his life. All the way to the hospital, she wondered if he wouldn't have been better off left where he'd been.
Now that she was standing beside him, though, her resolve was waning. She had never known anyone like Mulder before. He was so passionate about what he believed in. He never waivered. He never let anyone contrive to change his course.
She admired that in him so much. She'd always considered herself to be a strong, independent person, but not as strong and determined as he was.
When she felt the baby, that grew in her womb, move she knew it was nothing short of a miracle that he was here. A miracle that she would forever be thankful for. It gave them a second chance, and this time she planned to take what she wanted. The three of them could be a family. She knew Mulder wanted the same things she did.
She moved closer and sat in the chair beside the bed. She reached out and took his hand and placed the palm on her swollen belly. She knew that in his present comatose state, he probably had no idea, but she did and, damn, it felt good. She'd missed his touch so much!
It had been three days since she'd first discovered that he was alive. She had been really angry at Skinner and Doggett. Regardless of the outcome, it had been wrong not to tell her.
After a while she let the anger go. She didn't have time to waste being angry. Mulder was here. He was alive. She was here and that's all that really mattered.
She had brought in a radio for him on one of her short visits home. She'd spent every minute she could with him.
She knew he liked music, she just wasn't sure kind of music he preferred. She hoped it might help draw him back to her.
Most doctors would say he couldn't comprehend any outward stimuli, but none could claim that was true with 100 certainty. That was good enough for her besides the music helped her mood as well.
The doctors always talked about IF he woke up. Not her. There was no IF as far as she was concerned. – only when. She couldn't allow herself to contemplate the IF. It was too painful. Besides, she'd seen Mulder survive many times when the doctors had all but given up on him. He would do it again. For her -- for their baby, she thought to herself as she made soft circles on her abdomen.
She sat in the chair beside his bed. She was tired, but she was determined to be right there when he woke up. She was going to be the first person he saw.
After a while her eyes slid shot. She was almost asleep when she heard the song again.
Ever since they had first buried him, this song had been haunting her. It talked about how tow people could be both friends and lovers.
She couldn't help but smile. She & Mulder had definitely been both to each other. Even before they had entered an intimate relationship, they had been closer than a lot of lovers. She cherished the relationship they shared. Her heart swelled with joy to think she would have that in her life again.