This is Remus' side of the conversation in the "Wireless Connection" chapter of my story, Living On. I don't own it. Of course, it has been tweaked due to Pottermore revelations.
Every year since 1981 Remus had spent part of Halloween at Lily and James' graves. This year's visit would just be a little early...
As per tradition, Remus visited the flower shop near the graveyard and purchased a bouquet of pink lilies and yellow hyacinths before walking to the 'kissing-gate'. Why did they even call it that?
Remus walked the familiar path between the rows until he reached the grave of his friends. He placed the flowers then stood. Okay... Now what?
After a moment, Remus spoke. "Well. It's August…12th, I think. A little early for my usual visit, isn't it? I don't usually talk out loud, either..." he sighed. It feels right, though, to actually tell them...
Remus continued, "But I'll get to the point. I've got – well, I'm not sure it's a problem, exactly. It's unexpected, but..."
Remus frowned. Ah, Merlin, this was difficult. It felt like he was actually speaking to his old friends... He could imagine them so clearly — and their expressions...
Best get it over with.
"Dora's pregnant." Remus said.
It was strange, saying the words aloud. For the most part, he'd avoided speaking of it... He thought of Harry, past and present and that little girl. Why had he avoided speaking about it?
Remus began talking again, his words tumbling out in a rush. "I'm worried. I – well – it will be like me, I think. I never meant to pass my problem on. I didn't think – I mean, I must be the first – my kind never – I – I can't help worrying, I just don't know..." he trailed away.
Harry was right. Remus didn't know if the baby... his baby... would be infected with lycanthropy. Prongs, Padfoot and Lily would think he was being stupid. He could almost hear James now. "Idiot! You always worry way too much — it's just a furry little problem."
That's what he always said... "Maybe I am just being stupid. I just...panicked a bit I think."
Panicked a lot, more like. Why was he always such a pessimist?
Remus said, "I wasn't sure I could take chances. Now it's happened, I guess I'll just have to luck it out."
Rhetorical question — he knew lycanthropy made him so. Less chance of disappointment that way.
And...more chance of surprise?
"With Dora. Hmmm... I hope she's not too mad... but I guess I would deserve it." No 'I guess' about it; he did deserve it.
Remus' feet crunched on the gravel path as he stood up. He remarked, "You'll be pleased, Padfoot. Another Junior Marauder. In another war. Blimey, that's weird. I wonder if that means it'll be over soon." He added to himself. There was a nice thought. Or not, considering how it had ended last time.
"Harry would be happy. You'd be proud of him, Prongs and Lily. He wasn't very happy with what I did – but I'll fix it."
Prongs and Padfoot — not to mention Lily — would be sorely disappointed in his previous actions. They'd always acted as his conscience — even in the old days, when he'd acted as theirs. Harry had just been continuing tradition. He sighed. "I guess I'll come back here in April, don't worry. Your curiosity would never be satisfied otherwise."
"Marauders forever, you two. Bye Lily."
Remus walked away from the graveyard, then Disapparated. Picnic Cottage...
Standing in her parents' kitchen with his back to the window, Remus told Tonks softly where he'd been; what he'd done, or tried to do. She listened without saying anything, just pinning him there with her dark eyes.
"I know I've been stupid. I've stuffed up again." he said, rambling slightly, "I completely overreacted. Thank Merlin Harry was able to straighten me out."
Tonks nodded. "I knew you'd come back. You just needed to sort yourself out. Second-guessing good stuff is just what you do. But you also have one of the biggest hearts of any man I know."
Remus smiled slightly. How she managed to combine a reprimand and a compliment so neatly was always a mystery. He sighed. "I found I could never really walk away from you without so much hurt. Everywhere I looked seemed to remind me."
They stepped closer to each other. Tonks took his hands. "We're in this together," she whispered, "What happens will happen. But I'm going to take the glass half-full outlook. Okay?"
Remus nodded and let his hands drop to her belly. "It's our child, after all." he murmured.
Tonks smiled. "He," she said.
Remus blinked. She said, "He's a baby, not a genderless thing."
Remus quirked a brow. "But 'he'?" he asked.
Tonks said nonchalantly, "It just seemed right." she gave him a deep look from her dark eyes and then they kissed.
Heavily influenced by SweetDaemon's Understanding and oneandonlysusan's Contour.
I believe Remus always wanted a family – that is, a wife and more than one kid. He'd been an only child, in my opinion, because his condition made his parents concentrate solely on him.
However, as I hinted in Chapter 16, he never thought he'd be able to have a family because his condition made him "too dangerous". He's been exposed to the prejudice of society against werewolves since he was about five, in my opinion. Five is a very impressionable age.
Stupid society. Thank goodness for people like Dumbles and Dora and the Marauders and Harry.
Jo has said of Remus: He's a damaged person, literally and metaphorically... His being a werewolf is a metaphor for people's reactions to illness and disability. And of course, the stuff on Pottermore… Within a few weeks of their marriage, Remus realised that Tonks was pregnant and every fear he had ever had surfaced. He was convinced that he had passed on his condition to an innocent child and that he had condemned Tonks to the same life as his mother, forever moving around, unable to settle, having to hide her increasingly violent child from sight.
'Nuff said.
