Chapter Nine
Where Did the Ship Go? Where Did the Sea Go? Where did the Sex God Go?
This is the last thing I remember.
I had just drifted off to sleep again, with my dreams of Jack and also banana boats, when Jack woke me. Again. Can you believe that?
How ridiculisimus!
He said, "Just one more, for the road, love."
We shared a snog and stuff.
The usual.
We broke apart (boo) and Jack said, "I'm going to miss you, love."
I laughed.
"What the frig are you talking about?"
"When you go. I'll miss you."
"Ah. Thanks. Here," I said and gave him my big purple ring like his, "Don't remember me as a bitch."
"Right," he said.
And then he gave me this silver coin he had in his pocket.
"Don't remember me as a whelp, will you, love?" he told me.
"Ha! Please, the only one I'll remember as a whelp is Will," I said, and hugged him, "Night, Jack. Sweet dreams, you dote."
He walked off again.
I do not know what in the name of arse that was about.
I really don't.
So, I drifted back off into my sleeps...
I did sleep.
But when I woke up--
I opened my eyes and rubbed them.
I looked around.
I saw a million posters of Lily Allen, Razorlight, Gwen Stefani, Adam Brody, My Chemical Romance, The Killers, The Fratellis, Amy Winehouse, Beyoncé...
And my Pirates of the Caribbean wall.
The huge Captain Jack Sparrow poster above my bed.
I was back home.
I. Was. Back. Home!
"Oh, my God," I whispered to myself as I saw Orlagh, Siobh, Irene and Holly sprawled on the bed next to me.
I looked down.
I was wearing my green camisole, green shoes and Paco jeans.
My hand reached down into the pocket of my jeans.
I pulled out my Captain Jack Sparrow coin and the silver one the man himself had given me.
Ohhhh.
I saw Siobh stretching and yawning.
Her eyes flickered open and she sat up bolt straight.
"Ohmigodwe'rebackhome!!!!!!!" she exclaimed rather alarmingly.
"Ah, feck!" I said, throwing myself back down on the bed, "Feckfeckfeckfeckfeckfeckfeckfeck!!!!!!!!!"
"Mmm, who's feckin' in here?" Orlagh said, waking up.
She looked around her.
"Ah, shite."
Irene woke up next.
"Why? Whyohwhyohwhy?" she said.
And Holly woke up last.
"I'm hungry."
"SHUT UP, HOLLY!" we all screamed at her.
"This is terrible, just terrible. This is the most terrible thing that has ever possibly happened to me," I said.
"What about when Elizabeth kissed Jack?"
"Holly, what the hell did I just tell you?"
Then I remembered.
"Free!" I said, running downstairs.
Just as I was about to flick on the broadband, I decided to check Johnny's room.
I opened the door, and he was sleeping peacefully on his bed.
"Right where I left you," I said.
Then I rushed out to the computer.
"What in rum's name are you doing?" Irene asked.
"I have to check my email."
I went into MSN and logged in.
I looked at the inbox.
Two new messages.
I clicked into it and read the first one.
For Velma. Obviously.
To Velma,
I am going to sound like a prat, but, oh well.
I am going to miss you so much when you go.
We had a good time together, darling, and I won't forget it anytime soon.
And I am not good at this sort of thing.
And now I am beginning to sound like the Turner whelp.
Anyway, good luck, love. Think of me, and I'll do the same for you.
Remember, take what you can, give nothing back...
From
Captain Jack Sparrow
Hi Captain SparrowAngelMusicBaby!
How bloody AWESOME was that, huh?
Jack tells me to write all that down, for you specially! Ohhh, you are SO LUCKY, love! He's so lovely. So so lovely.
Meeeellllttttt!
Anyway, mail me later!
Love, Free X
I just looked at it, gaping.
I opened the next email.
Oi! Captain SAMB!
Hiya! HOW BLOODY AWESOME was our time with the pirates?
I'll tell you how. Very very BLOODY AWESOME!
Can't believe we're back home. It's raining here right now.
Wish I was out at sea.
Isn't Jack SO MUCH HOTTER in real life? Isn't he?
Yeah, I know.
Tell the girls I said ello ello!
Lots of love, and rum too!
Your pal, Free X
"Oh...my...God," Siobh said.
"Dear... Lordy," Orlagh said.
"Well, aren't you going to reply?" Irene asked me.
"Oh!"
I clicked 'Reply' and wrote.
My God, Free, are you the nicest, or wha'?!
Thank you SOOO much for the note. I am going to print it out and carry it everywhere I go.
Literally.
And, ohh yes, Jack is WAY hotter in real life. Really. He is.
I woke up only a few minutes ago and I was like, "NOOOOOOO!"
I can't believe it's over.
I miss him so much already!
Okay.
The girlies say heggo,
Love, Clara
I clicked 'Send' and slumped back in the computer chair.
"I miss him," I said.
"We all do," Siobh said.
The best time of my life was over.
It had passed so quickly.
Now it was back to the daily routine, get up, be obsessed with POTC, eat, type on the computer, go to bed, dream of POTC.
I took the silver coin out and fingered it for a few minutes, the other girls just watching me.
I would always remember the last words Jack had said to me, and I would always hold them dear.
"Don't remember me as a whelp, will you, love?"
The End...Or is It?