Okay, so if you're still reading this story, thank you! If not, that's okay, because I like writing it. So...Murphy's about to drop the bomb, Connor's freaking Brina out, and prom's tomorrow! :P j/k about the whole prom thing.

But yeah, I'm excited for this chapter, because it's gonna be good. :D

Disclaimer: I don't own The Boondock Saints or anything I use in this story, except Brina O'Hara.

Chapter 4!

He reached over and took her hands in his, and she felt his shaking. Her thoughts went wild, wondering what could possibly be so bad, that he was scared to tell her? She knew that hoping the gun was registered, and had never been fired before was hoping too much, but she clinged to it like a life raft. "Brina, Connor and me...we done some bad stuff." He looked down, as he spoke; unable to look into her innocent eyes and be truthful. He bit his lip and raised his head to look at her, he felt he owed her that, at least. "Brina, we're The Saints. That's why I have a gun, that's why Connor's been trying to get me to leave you be. 'We don't get a happily ever after, Murph.' I was going to tell ya soon, I just couldn't figure out how." She felt like a ton of gravel had just been dropped on her head. Stunned, exasperated, and shocked couldn't even cover the feeling she felt. "Murphy, you need to go." She stood and let her hands slip from his. He quickly followed, grabbing her arm. "Brina, no. Just hear me out. Please." She turned around and stopped. "Brina, I don't want to do this anymore. When I just started the Saints with Connor, I believed in our work. I felt it was the right thing to do. But after we lost our friend Rocco, after we killed Yakavetta, I just...I didn't want to do it anymore. I only stayed on to help Connor. He's gotten reckless, careless even. He's losing his touch and doesn't watch his ass as well as he used to. He's my brother. I had to. But I want out. I'm done and over it, and I want something normal."

She took a deep breath and let it out, stepping forward into his arms. She didn't know what to think, what to believe, or what to do. She ignored everything for a split second and remembered everything to memory. The way his body felt against hers, the way he smelled, the feeling of his hand in hers, then backed away. "Murphy, if you care, and want to try to make this work out, then you need to leave. Just give me time to think. Just some time to process all of this, sort it out in my head. You can at least give me that." She walked into the bedroom and pushed the door up, then in a moment, reappeared his shirt in her hand, and a tank top in its place. "Here." He took it and slid it over his head, the pushed his arms through the holes. She walked him to the door, watched as he grabbed his jacket and put it on. He stepped over to the table and picked up he gun, sliding it back into his jacket, and stopped at the door. She felt on the verge of tears just letting him walk out. She looked into his eyes, a shaky sigh coming past her lips. "I'll call you." He nodded and leaned down, giving her a small kiss on her cheek. "I'll be waitin." He stepped out the door and pulled it closed behind him. She waited until she was sure he was gone and slid down the wall to the floor in a crumpled heap. She reached up and locked the door.

This was going to be a bad breakdown, she cold tell. Her chest grew tighter with each moment, her breaths came short and rapidly, and her eyes stung as the tears welled up. She buried her head in her knees, crying. She was in love with a murderer. The thought kept slapping away any and all defense she tried to raise against herself for Murphy. He murders people. She continued the debate in her head for 4 days, not bothering to come down to work. She told Doc she had mono, and he understood and ordered her straight back to bed. She lay there for the 4 days, trying to find a solution to the puzzle she had in her head. She was starving by the last night and called out for a pizza. She paid the delivery man, and shut the door, taking the pizza to the kitchen. She grabbed herself two slices and sat down on the sofa, turning on the television. She had just taken a bite when a knock came at the door. Her heart jumped into her throat, pounding loudly in her ears. She walked over and swallowed, "Who is it?" A brief moment of silence, that seemed to last a year, was broken. "It's Sammy. Open the damn door, Brina O'Hara or I'll bust it down myself." She took a deep breath and unlatched the lock and opened it. Sam busted in and made her way to the kitchen, grabbing herself a slice of pizza. She turned around and froze, looking at a picture frame on the counter.

She picked it up and looked at it for a moment, then looked at Brina. "Did he break up with you? Is that why you've been holed up above the pub for four almost five days now?" Brina returned to the couch, Sammy following her and sitting beside her. She reached over and took the picture frame from Sam. "No." Her heart ached in her chest. It was a picture of herself and Murphy, she wanted to smile, but fought the urge. "So what's up with the hide and seek, then? Did you know I've called at least a dozen times trying to get a hold of you?" She felt the tears start to leak out and slip down her cheeks. "Sammy, I'm in big trouble." Sammy's face softened; she tilted her head slightly and relaxed from anger to worry for her friend. "Well, the story ain't gonna tell itself, sweetheart. What's going on? Did he hit you?" Brina let a small giggle slip as she saw Sam go from worried to pissed and ready to fight in a matter of seconds. "No, he didn't hit me. But..well he told me the other night...that he's...he's done a lot of bad things. To other people. I can't really get into it much, but it's bad."

Sammy leaned back and propped a foot on the coffee table. "I will only say this. Did it help someone?" Brina chewed on her lip, unsure of how to answer. "I guess it possibly could have, maybe in the future." Sam chuckled. "Then get over it." Brina looked at her, mildly pissed off. Sam turned herself towards her friend and rested her arm on the back of the couch. "Brina, honey, if it possibly could have helped someone, he did what was right. If he did it for himself, then he's a selfish prick of a jerk who you need to kick to the curb." She paused for a second. "Take The Saints, for example. They fucking kill people. But everyone is probably better off that they do." Brina's interests were peeked, "So...you side with them? You believe in what they do?" Sam licked her lips and sighed. "That's a tough, direct question. It's not so much that I'm okay with people playing God, but it's what we needed around Boston. The streets have gone to the mobs and gangs, and someone had to take a stand. Unfortunately, they get publicly crucified for it. They've done good."

Sam stood up and stretched, "Well, I've got finals tomorrow. And now that I know you're not dead and rotting away up here, I'm leaving." Brina got off the couch and walked with her to the door. She gave Sam a hug and thanked her for her help, before shutting it behind her. She licked her lips and walked over to where she had set the frame down. She picked it up and let the smile come as she looked at Murphy. She dug through the mess on her bed as she tried to find her cell phone. She flipped it open, but it was dead. After plugging it up to the wall, she headed to the kitchen, picked up the phone there, and dialed Murphy's number. It rang three times, "Hello?" Her heart almost stopped, "I miss you." She heard him blow smoke, "Brina?" She smiled, missing how her name sounded coming from him, "Yeah. Can you come by tonight?" She looked around the room and realized she'd have to clean up or shower. "Yeah. I'll be there soon." She played with the cord of the phone to distract her, "I'll leave the door unlocked. Just come on in."

"Bye." She didn't waste time returning his bye. She was off like a shot to the bathroom. She stripped off her clothes and jumped into the shower before it was even warm. She squirted a glob of shampoo into her hand and quickly rubbed it into her oily hair. She rinsed it out and grabbed the bar of soap, scrubbing all over. She stood under the shower head and let the water cover her face and body when she thought she heard the door shut. She stepped back from the water and wiped her eyes, "Murphy?" The water was the only sound she heard. Shrugging it off as hopefulness, she continued with her shower. She cut off the water and stepped out into the cool air of the bathroom. She grabbed the towel and was just wrapping it around her when she heard someone walking in the living room. She carelessly rushed in only to find Connor standing by the door, his hands shoved in his pockets.

"What are you doing here?" She wished she had put on her robe, instead of just her towel. Conner walked towards her and looked her from her feet to her head. "I know Murph dropped the bomb and told ya. I know it's hard to keep quiet for long, but it's far better for ya if ya do." He lingered for too long for her before turning and leaving. She found it hard to catch her breath, but made her way to the bedroom and started getting dressed in a pair of jeans and a tank top. She had just finished straightening her hair when she heard the door open and close; leaving her hoping, this time, the brother she wanted had shown up. Walking out the door, she saw Murphy in the kitchen. She flipped on the light and he turned around, smiling when he saw her. She ran to him and jumped into his arms, letting her lips crash against his. He returned her kiss happily. When they parted, they were randomly giving small kisses between her words. "Murphy I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have just gotten over it." He took her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. "It's not something that you can just get over, darlin. I should've told ya sooner, but I was dumb and didn't. And I'm sorry."

He caught her in another kiss, picked her up, and carried her to the bedroom. She laid back and could tell by the way he was taking things slowly, that they were making love again. She smiled and watched as he kicked off his boots and took off his shirt before joining her on the bed.

When they had finished, she rested her head on his chest, listening to his heart beat, and relaxing. It caught her off guard when he broke the quiet, "Do you know something?" She raised her head and looked him in the eyes, gently stroking his cheek with the backside of her hand. "I was scared to tell ya. I kept putting it off and putting it off, and it just got to the point I was scared to tell ya because I didn't want to lose ya." He took her hand and put it over his heart, waiting as she felt it beat, "You truly are mo cuishla. There's more to the meaning than I let on at first. It does mean my darlin, but it also means my heart; my pulse." She smiled and they shared another kiss before she laid down. As soon as they had laid back down, she got out of bed and ran to the door. She locked the deadbolt and put the chain on before returning to bed. She crawled under the sheets and stopped, looking at Murphy, "Can I ask you a favor?" He chuckled and nodded. "Can we sleep like we did the first night you stayed over?" He looked slightly confused, so she laid down, her back to him, and he caught on. She felt the warmth of his chest push into her back and his arm drape over her stomach, pulling her closer. She smiled and snuggled even closer to him.

"Do you know something?" He lightly kissed her neck, "Hmm?" She relaxed and smiled. "When you held me like this, the first word that came to my mind was safe. I feel safe with you. Nothing bad can happen, nothing can go wrong, I don't have to worry ab-" He cut her off with a quiet, "Ssshhhh. Go to sleep, baby. I'll be here when you wake up." She closed her mouth and let her head sink into the pillow before falling into a deep sleep.

-Connor's POV-

Connor laid on his bed in their shared apartment. The sun had been up for a couple hours, and Murphy stayed the night with her again. He let a heavy sigh as he stood up and walked to the fridge to grab a beer. He popped the top and sat down at the small table, realizing how alone he felt. Not only had Murphy taken the girl, but he had also told her the big secret. This life, he knew all too well, didn't allow for happiness. There was no save the world, save the girl, and ride off into the sunset. It just wasn't in the cards for them. The more people they had in their lives, the more people they cared about, gave them more liability and risk of innocent people getting hurt. As happy as Murphy seemed with her in his life, it wasn't good for any of them. She knew, could've run and told the cops. sailed their asses down the river. He started taking apart his gun, using a rag to wipe the inside pieces and parts. She was careless. That much was obvious by the fact she had left her front door unlocked. Connor tried, in vain, to not think of her in the towel.

She was a distraction for the both of them. He slid the top back on his gun and cocked it and dry fired. Satisfied with his work, he pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed Murphy's number. It rang four times before he picked up. "Murph? I just got a tip. He looks to be the new Don of the family. Donte Barillo. I'm going to text you his address. I'm going to borrow a car and I'll pick you up in fifteen minutes. Alright?" There was a moment's pause. "Yeah, alright." He hung up the phone and gathered everything he'd need. As he slipped on his coat, he grabbed the key to the car they borrowed last time, and shut the door. He smiled pleasantly at the two women he passed in the hallway, feeling the weight of his guns on his ribs.

As he stepped into the cool air of the late morning, he lit a cigarette and got into the car. He turned the key and headed for the pub. After a short drive there, he got out and waited for fifteen minutes. Still no Murphy. He climbed the fire escape and looked into the window. Not seeing anyone, he quietly lifted the window open and crawled inside. Cautiously, he looked in the bed, the bathroom, the living room. He couldn't find Murphy anywhere. That's when he heard it. A voice calling his name. He turned and headed for the window and saw Murphy standing below him. "Connor, get the fuck out here, man! Let's go!" He quickly climbed the ladder down and joined his brother in the car. "You ready?" Murphy nodded his head and leaned back in the seat. "Let's do this."

They parked down the street from a small coffee shop. Connor took over the conversation. "I've been tailing him for a week straight. He's always protected by 3 guys with Mac 10's. But I think if we play our cards right, we have a small window of time to snag him for ourselves. He leaves the 3 in the car while he comes in and grabs his coffee. Grab him, pop him off, and we're golden." Murphy said nothing, simply nodding his agreement with the plan. Connor smacked the back of his head, "Come on, Murph. Pull your head outta your arse and get it in the game. Quit thinking about Polly Pocket back there. If you don't, one of us is gonna get hurt." Murphy tossed the smoked cigarette butt out the window and rolled it up. "I'm here, Connor. I'm in this, ready to go. Don't be preachin at me to get ready."

Connor nodded and opened his car door, Murphy following him out and to the corner. They slipped on their masks and stormed the café. The gasps and screams came quickly as everyone feared The Saints had come for them. Murphy saw two men stand up, guns ready and firing, but took them out as Connor made for the counter and grabbed the man by the back of his Armani jacket, and pulled him to the floor before them. Murphy momentarily glared at his idiot brother, felt a stinging sensation on his side, and started praying with him.

"And shepherds we shall be. For thee my Lord, for thee.

Power hath descended forth from thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out thy command

So we shall flow a river forth to thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be.

En nomine Patri

Et Fili

Spiritus Sancti."

The moment it was over, they pulled their triggers and hauled ass out of the shop, headed for their apartment. The door flung open. "Such a fucking idiot, Connor. You did okay for following, but you didn't account for the two assholes in the café. Thanks to you, I get to explain a bullet graze to Brina. She's going to freak out."

He knew he had become careless. Maybe it didn't matter anymore. Maybe if they got caught, he'd be alright with that. All he knew, was that Brina was bad news. Murphy sat on the bed dabbing at his side with a rag as Connor headed for the door. "Where the fuck are you goin?" Connor sat his mask on the counter. "We're almost out of smokes. I'll be right back." He shut the door and dug the keys for the car out of his pocket. He walked back to the street of the café, cops now swarming every inch near the coffee shop. He got in, started the engine, and headed for the pub. His thoughts ran rampant as he neared, 'The fire escape window is easy enough to open. No one knows it's back there. Easy for me to slip in and back out,' His plan came together nicely in his mind. It was simple, and would be over all too soon.

-Brina's POV-

Brina rolled over in the bed and her hand rubbed the sheet where Murphy had been. She sat up and looked around in the quiet apartment. "Murphy?" Hearing no response, she climbed out of the bed and pulled on her jeans and a tank top. "Murph?" She looked in the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room, finding no signs of him anywhere. She sighed and walked back to the bedroom, picking up her cell phone. She found a message as she flipped it open from Murphy. Three words that scared her, shook her, and set her heart pumping. 'Go with Connor.' She closed the phone and ran her fingers through her hair. As she mumbled a quiet, 'What the fuck?' she heard a noise at the back window. She had a knife in her bedside table that she pulled out and took with her to discover what the sound was. When she got to the window, it was open, and the curtains billowed in the breeze. Her heart hummed in her ears as a loud creak came from near the washer and dryer. She looked around the corner and almost screamed as Connor jumped out and grabbed her hand holding the knife.

"It's alright, love. Calm down." He took the knife and folded it closed, putting it in his pocket. "Connor, what the hell is going on? Why did Murphy tell me to go with you?" He took her shoulders in each of his hands and stared into her eyes. "We're in trouble. We went to do a hit, but we got made. They know who we are." Her thoughts raced a thousand miles an hour. "What about Murphy? Where is he?" Connor took a deep breath. "He's fine. Perfectly fine. He's at our place getting some things together. We're heading out of town. Permanently. He told me to come get you, see if you'd come with us." She nodded her head. "I'll go wherever he goes. Let me get some of my stuff together, first." She tore herself from his hands and headed for the bedroom.

She quickly started to stuff some clothes into a bag when she felt a sharp pain in her head. Her vision wobbled, then faded to black. The last thing she felt was the sensation of falling.

Snap! Okay, I know there was one who didn't like where it was going with Connor, and I so sorry. But everything will be explained later on in the story. I hope you like where it's going and I will try to update again as soon as I possibly can. :) Love you and thank you to the two of you who did review, it meant a lot that you replied.