I'm so sorry for taking so long to update! But I hurt my right hand two weeks ago and I couldn't write at all. It's still aching a little, so I'm sorry (again) if this chapter looks weird.
And I would like to say three things: 1. English is not my native language (I speak brazilian portuguese) and I don't have a beta at the moment. So, I'm really sorry if there's something wrong in the grammar. Please, let me know if you see something, so I'll fix it as soon as I can! 2. Big thanks to my friend Sammy for helping me with Hiccup in this chapter! I'd be lost without him. haha 3. Valka's reasons and Hiccup's reaction are only my interpretation for this fic. It will help the narrative in the future.
I hope you like it! If you haven't seen the artworks and comics for this AU yet, please check my deviantart (kuramachan5) or tumblr (petitcastellan).
v
v
v
It had been a week since the first and last time Hiccup had talked with that mysterious woman. His injuries and fever gave him a bad time those days. But, fortunately, in the last days of spring he woke up feeling a lot better.
The cuts on his belly and hand had closed completely and the risk of infection was gone.
Hiccup rubbed his eyes when he woke up and then sat on the bed. His gaze almost instantly searched for Toothless, for he was still pretty worried.
The dragon was still sleeping on the ground near the bed with no sign that he would wake up feeling as better as Hiccup. Was that really normal? The young viking couldn't do more than hope to see his best friend fine again.
Feeling confident on his legs and strength, he tried to get up. He took off the blankets that were on his legs, and felt relieved to see that both his foot and prosthetic one were still there. Last time he got unconscious for so long a bad surprise was waiting for him.
He succeeded in getting up, even though his belly ached a little, and the first thing he did was walk toward the sleeping dragon. He knelt in front of him and stroked his head. "Hello, bud. I really hope to see you awake again." Silence. "Please, don't leave me here alone..."
"So, you finally woke up." Said the woman.
Hiccup almost jumped when he heard her voice. He was pretty sure that he was alone, how the hell did she get there so fast and so quietly? The boy got up again, but slowly this time. That position demanded more strenght than it would normally do. "Well, erm. I guess I'm feeling a lot better right now."
"Good. This is really good." She walked toward the boy and put her right hand on his forehead to check if he was still running a fever. Hiccup noticed then that the woman was taller than him. "Well, you seem to be fine. I will make something for you to eat."
"Thank you." He smiled a little. "You are... You are really kind. And thank you for taking care of me and Toothless, too." Hiccup made a pause again to look at the woman. The nostalgia was back. "But I don't understand why you never say your name. Or who you and that other person are, or where I am... What is the problem?"
The woman sighed and looked at Hiccup for a moment. "I said I was going to tell you when you wake up feeling better, and you are now." She was getting distressed again, but tried her best to hide it. "I will tell you after breakfast. Just rest a little more while I am not here."
Now it was Hiccup's turn to sigh. He wanted to know why he was feeling those things, why he felt that he knew that woman. Why should that be a secret? It was almost annoying. But Hiccup would wait, if that was the only way to discover everything.
He sat on the bed again when the woman was gone and looked around. There was another bed near Toothless and another table with some old books on it. Was that the woman's bed? Or the Mysterious Man's? Either way, he was sleeping on one of them and he felt a little guilty for taking away a bed from one of those people. They seemed to be nice and they were taking care of him and his dragon, he didn't want to cause any trouble.
v
The woman was taking too long to come back. Hiccup started to feel anxious. Well, if he was feeling better and could walk, then why should he wait on the bed? It wouldn't hurt to walk a little.
The viking got up again and looked at Toothless. He didn't want to leave his friend alone there, but it would be just for a minute. Nothing bad would happen and he was safe in that place.
Nothing to worry about. Hiccup thought. He will be fine without me here.
With his good hand and the bandaged one on his belly, he started to walk to the entrance of the cave. He was being very cautious, for he didn't want to fall or to feel more pain, so it took time to get where he wanted. Stupid wounds...
And when he finally arrived the entrance, his eyes got wider.
The cave was located in a clearing in the woods. There was another fire near the cave, and Hiccup was pretty sure that those things flying on the sky were too big to be birds. Dragons.
He looked around the clearing and discovered something curious.
There was a big, really big and light blue dragon sleeping in the right side near the cave. Its large wings and tail were a cerulean blue and there were white flakes all over the skin. The head was the same color with flakes, and there was some blue thorns on the head. Hiccup was pretty sure he had never seem a more beautiful dragon. He was amazed!
And then he suddenly remembered that he already saw that dragon before. It was in the ship with the Mysterious Man! Hiccup's vision was pretty bad in that moment, but he would never forget a blue dragon that was attacking something and yet nothing was on fire.
He looked at the dragon for a little more, until he noticed that there was something between its forelegs. Hiccup frowned and approached a bit.
The dragon was sleeping on its left side, so it was possible to see its four paws - it was sleeping over one rear leg and one foreleg -. The tail was curled around the body, the wings were folded on the backs - the left one touching the ground - and the long neck was also curled over the grassy ground. The dragon seemed to be sleeping while cuddling something between the forelegs.
No, it wasn't a thing. It was someone!
Hiccup frowned even more while looking at that. The person was wrapped in two blankets, and it was impossible to see the hair and face.
If the woman was awake, then it certainly was the Mysterious Man sleeping in front of Hiccup. He was sure that there were only two people taking care of him, then it couldn't be anyone else.
The viking couldn't help but think that it was a cute situation. Someone comfortable enough to sleep with his dragon... Now Hiccup was sure that that was the Mysterious Man's bed he was sleeping on.
And, wait. Foreign people living with dragons? Everything got even more confused and mysterious to Hiccup. What was going on there?
He knew that the Mysterious Man was avoiding him and hiding himself since they met in the ship, so Hiccup wouldn't spy on him there. That would be too disrespectful, even though he was extremely curious and intrigued.
Back to the cave, Hiccup waited a little more until the woman was back. He had a lot of questions to ask, but he was also hungry. Breakfast sounded great in that moment.
The woman handed Hiccup a wooden tray with a bread, two apples and a clay pot full of berries. "There is no milk. I hope you don't mind it." She said while sitting near the boy on the bed. "I think you will like those berries."
"You are already doing a lot for me. Don't worry." Hiccup smiled briefly and grabbed the bread with his good hand. The tray was now laying on his lap, so he didn't need to use his injuried hand. "I really like berries. I know a place in Berk that has a lot of them."
The woman couldn't hold back a sad smile. It seemed like, this time, the nostalgia hit her. "I bet they taste good, too." She tried not to sound melancholy.
Hiccup didn't reply to that. He missed his home and he was worried about his father and friends. What were they doing in that moment? Did they miss him, too?
But he was also feeling pretty comfortable with that mysterious woman. Hiccup didn't know who she was or where he was, but something was telling him that he could trust her. Maybe it was the feeling that he had met the woman before, or maybe it was her tender, but intense eyes and the way she was taking care of him and his dragon. Hiccup wasn't sure.
"I have a lot of questions, you know." He was almost finishing his breakfast when he said that. Now, his gaze was pointed to the woman's face. "I really want to know where I am and who you are."
She stayed in silence, but her eyes were visibly full of doubt and concern. Why was she so reluctant? "Well, um..." Hiccup continued. "My name is Hiccup. I am a Hooligan of Berk, and that's my dragon, Toothless." He introduced himself with such inocence that the woman smiled. Maybe now she would stop avoiding telling him who she was? "And you? I- I have this feeling... this feeling that I should know you, but..."
"Hiccup... What I have to tell you isn't easy." Her voice was too serious for someone who was smiling a few seconds ago. "It isn't easy for me to tell you this, and... for you to listen." She said those last words very carefully, as if she was entering a dangerous place.
Hiccup felt his heart starting to beat faster as the curiosity gave place to concern and the feeling that he was about to listen to something really bad. He didn't like that.
He didn't know, however, that his life was about to change completely and permanently.
"A long time ago, this young woman was considered the best dragon slayer in the island she lived. Her family and her husband were proud of her. In fact, she was proud of herself, too. Keeping her people and her home safe from all danger demanded a courage that not everyone would have. She thought she was brave.
But, one day, a dragon found her... and her whole life changed."
Hiccup frowned. He was starting to get nervous. That sounded too familiar, but he wasn't going to say anything. He had to listen.
"She tried to defend herself, but it was useless. The dragon was bigger than any other she had seen before, and the fear took all her body. She didn't want to die there. She couldn't leave her family. But, for her surprise, the creature didn't want to kill her. Instead..." She made a pause, searching for words. "The dragon showed her its world. And what a cruel world it was. The amber eyes of that creature were asking for help. It didn't want to kill anyone, or destroy anything. And when the woman realized that all she had done in her life was wrong and cruel, that it all was unfair to those creatures... she felt that she needed to do something. She needed to help them, and help herself to redeem her sins."
"What did she do next?" Asked the curious and still nervous viking.
The woman, however, didn't answer. At least for a moment. The mixture of nostalgia, sadness and what seemed to be guilt took all the mysterious and intense expressions away. She seemed fragile. "She knew that there were other creatures to protect and take care of. Her tribe would be fine. Her husband was a strong man, he would be fine. She needed him to be fine. She needed him... to take care of their son. That was the hardest decision she ever had to make... To leave her son and never come back was something that would hurt her forever, but she had no other choice."
Hiccup closed tight his hands and frowned again. He could feel his heart jumping and the emotions becoming stronger. "Who are you?"
Her eyes trembled as she looked at the young man in front of her. She didn't know if her voice would come out. "There wasn't a day that I didn't think about you, Hiccup. But you were only a baby, you couldn't remember me."
Hiccup wasn't sure about what he felt in that moment. He felt like he was falling into a dark abyss that seemed to have no end, but at the same time he felt the whole world moving around while he stayed still on that bed. The young viking gasped, not sure if he was still breathing or if it was just his mind playing tricks.
"My name is Valka. And I was a Hooligan of Berk, too."
Everything made sense now! The nostalgia, the certainty that he had met that woman before, the good feeling he had toward her even though he had no idea who she was. That was his mother. His mother! Hiccup grew up thinking she was dead, and now she was right in front of him!
He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He just stayed there looking at her face, trying to let that information and the explosion of emotions sink down in his throat. Should he be happy? It was his mother and he always asked the gods for a miracle, even when everything made it look impossible to happen. And now she was there! She was alive! The urge to leave everything behind and hug her almost took all of Hiccup's being. But the thought of being abandoned hit him worse than those men's swords in the ship. Whatever was the reason that made Valka leave, she left Hiccup behind. His own mother abandoned him and never came back. It made his heart feel so tight and small he could barely feel it. Hiccup didn't move.
"Hiccup? Are you okay?" Valka asked. She seemed pretty worried, but Hiccup's mind wasn't really focused on it. "You are pale."
"You... You are my mother." His hoarsely voice was low and confused. "I felt... I felt I knew you, but... I would never... You are my mother!"
Valka tried to put a hand on her son's shoulder, but he jerked away. Oh, she should have seen that coming... "I never intended to this to happen, but-"
"You abandoned me." Hiccup's tone wasn't accusing or demanding for any answers. It was just confused. He couldn't really understand what he was feeling in that moment. And the more he looked at his mother's face and eyes, the more he felt lost in his feelings. He put the tray away and got up, even though he wasn't trusting his legs.
He walked toward Toothless and stopped in the middle of the way. He didn't know what he wanted to do, but he needed to avoid looking at that woman's face. "You said... there were dragons and... you saved them? I- I..."
Valka always wondered how it would be if she ever had the opportunity to see Hiccup again and tell him the truth. For the most hopeful and maybe unrealistic situation, she thought that Hiccup would hug her and say that everything was okay. But it would demand too much from the boy, and Valka knew she should work hard to receive his forgiveness. She also wondered if she would be worthy of it. "I have been rescuing them from hunters and even other dragons. They needed my help."
"That... That's good." He didn't look back. Now the young viking was sure of something: he was hurt and if he looked at her again, he would collapse on his emotions right there.
That apparent indiference bothered Valka. Was Hiccup really okay? Was he angry or sad? She wanted to say she was sorry as many as she could. She wanted to explain everything better than what she had already said, but how would she do that? The young viking's mind seemed to be off and he looked sick. And if she say something wrong and Hiccup start to hate her? Or maybe he was already hating her. Well, that made sense in her mind, for she abandoned him when he was a baby and never really let him know she was alive.
Valka was getting too lost in her own emotions. Her son was right in front of her and she couldn't do anything.
After a torturing minute of pure silence, Hiccup finally spoke. "I need a moment alone."
"Sure." The velvet voice was as hoarse as the boy's. "When- When you feel you're good to talk again, I want to show you something." She got up and looked at Hiccup. He hadn't moved since he got there. "And I want you to meet the one who saved you and your dragon."
Hiccup was so lost in his thoughts and feelings that not even the mention of the Mysterious Man brought him back to reality. He then walked slowly to the sleeping dragon in the cave and sat near him.
The woman stood there for a moment. She also didn't know what she was feeling, but she was sure it wasn't good. The urge to cry was becoming stronger and the impotence made she feel like the worst person in the world.
"Hiccup, maybe I don't have the right to ask for your forgiveness, but I hope that one day you..." She stopped. Hiccup wasn't responding at all, and she thought it was better to really leave him alone with his dragon.
She couldn't do more than that.
When there was no footstep to hear, Hiccup finally exploded. His first instinct was to carefully lie down on Toothless' head and hug him as much as he could without causing him pain, and he finally let all the tears come out. Oh, it was hurting so much. His injuries on his belly and hand seemed like a simple scratch compared to the pain he was feeling now.
Deep in his mind, he was extremely happy to know that his mother was alive. But thinking about how his life could have been with her, how he always felt so alone and so judged by everyone, how he never really felt like Berk was his home because no one could understand him, all his life before he met Toothless and the fact that he was abandoned by his own mother, it all destroyed him.
And he cried, cried and cried. He just wanted to go where he could feel like home.
v
v
It was afternoon when Hiccup woke up. He had fallen asleep with Toothless after putting out all his pain. If Valka came back to the cave, he didn't see. And he didn't know if he could look at her.
It wasn't because he hated her. He could never feel such thing for his mother. But he was afraid that all those bad sensations and emotions woud explode again if he met her gaze.
He needed to think about so many things...
Hiccup didn't plan to move his body, for he was feeling secure with his dragon between his arms, but when he heard someone coming into the cave, his whole body got tense as he moved his head to check who was walking toward him. And, for Hiccup's surprise, it wasn't Valka.
The Mysterious Man seemed nervous even with that mask, so he just stood in the entrance when the young viking's eyes caught him. He was holding a tray with some things that looked like bandages and two clay pots. One of them had fruits in it.
Valka didn't want to disturb Hiccup. She knew he was unstable because of the big news, and the last thing she wanted was to cause him more pain. So she asked the Mysterious Man to take those things to the viking and take care of him.
Hiccup just looked at him. He was tired, but he still could feel intrigued by that creature.
The Mysterious Man finally walked again. His body moved in a way that a suspicious dragon would do, and he kept it until he was in front of Hiccup. He then crouched and put the tray on the ground, taking the pot with the fruits and offering it to the young viking.
Hiccup was so absorbed in watching the man that it took him a second to understand what he was doing. "I am not hungry."
The Mysterious Man sighed and offered it again.
"Erm, thank you. But..." That was the first time since the ship that they both were so close. Hiccup was getting as nervous as the other boy. "I really don't want it."
The man just looked at Hiccup. Valka wanted him to feel better, so he should eat. He was still injuried and just had breakfast that day. But he wouldn't insist. It was already hard to be there, even using the mask. The man didn't want any trouble for both of them.
He then put the pot on the tray again and gestured to Hiccup to give him his left hand.
v
The young viking stayed in silence as he observed the Mysterious Man taking away the old bandages on his injuried hand. The man had all his body covered by clothes that looked like Valka's, but with a darker color. The head was completely covered by the mask, and both hands were bandaged. Hiccup could just see the man's fingers, and they were so white it made Hiccup wonder if there was any blood in there.
His eyes wandered to the mask again. He wasn't really in the mood to ask questions and even to talk to someone, but the other's presence, for some reason, made he feel better. Even if it was awkward and way too mysterious.
But, when the man's fingers touched his skin, Hiccup had to ask something. "Are you okay? Your hands are really cold."
The Mysterious Man quickly took away his hands and closed them on his lap. Damn. Was it that cold? There was no response coming from him.
Hiccup frowned. "Why are you avoiding me so much? Can't you talk to me?"
No response again. The man just took a small and wet cloth from the other clay pot and started to clean Hiccup's wound. It seemed better, but it still needed care.
"Fine then." Hiccup looked away. "I don't want to talk, too."
The Mysterious Man rolled his eyes under the mask. It was a big step for him to be so close to another human, especially a human he was getting too interested in become closer. Would he be able to talk to him? Well, Valka was going to make he show himself soon or later, he should be prepared.
But, how would the young viking react to his uncommon appearance?
v
They didn't say anything for a long time. Hiccup was thinking about how his mother was alive, how beautiful she looked and how it hurt to feel abandoned, so he didn't pay too much attention to what the other man was doing. Even though it was ridiculously awkward when he had to take care of the wound on the belly.
The Mysterious Man kept doing his job until he noticed something. He looked through the mask to Hiccup's face and saw that he was about to cry again. Somehow, that made his heart feel tighter.
Valka had cried, and now her son, too. He didn't like that at all.
And when a tear escaped from Hiccup's left eye, something happened that neither him and the man realized until it was done.
The Mysterious Man unconsciously took his right hand to the young viking's face and carefully wiped the tear away with the back of his fingers. The touch was so gentle it felt like a caress.
Hiccup immediately looked at the man's mask, but didn't say anything. He didn't know he needed something like that until that moment.
The man's heart was beating really fast, but he couldn't take his hand away. Instead, he put his cold fingers where he first caressed and gently rubbed his thumb there. Something inside him was saying that that kind of act makes sadness go away, and he wanted to see Valka's son better. He really wanted it.
Hiccup was still amazed by the things that that man was making, especially because of his dragon behavior, and being touched like that made his heart feel softer. Better.
And it stayed like that until both of them started to feel the situation awkward again. The Mysterious Man quickly put all the things on the tray, stood up and walked away faster than he came to the cave.
Hiccup didn't even notice the small smile on his lips. Between all the hurt feelings, surprises and confusion, something good and pure was born right there. He just didn't know it yet.