Chapter 3

I needed to talk to somebody about how I was feeling about Zig and Miles but I didn't know who I could take to. Tristan would say I told you so and not really help; Zoe wouldn't even care, and Katie's away at college. There's one person who you might be able to talk to.

"I knida need your help." I mumbled walking up to Grace in the rubber room.

"What did you say Blondie?" Grace asked looking up from her magazine at me.

"I kinda need your help." I repeated a little louder. Grace was the last person I wanted to talk to about this but I didn't really have another option.

"Sure, what do you need Blondie?" Grace questioned closing her magazine and returning it to her backpack.

"It's about boys." I stated wringing my hands together nervously. I really didn't want to have this conversation but I needed someone's advice.

"Let me guess," she chuckled turning to face me completely, "things aren't rainbows and puppies with your boyfriend."

"Worse," I replied nervously, "I'm starting to have feelings for another guy."

"Zig." Grace stated blankly.

"Is it that obvious?" I asked hoping she would respond 'no' but I had a feeling that wouldn't be the case.

"Come one Matlin," she smirked leaning forward, "almost as obvious as how much he likes you."

"He likes me?!" I questioned a little more enthusiastically then I had planned.

"If that's your response to the possibility that someone other than your boyfriend likes you I think you have your answer." Grace suggested giving me a little shove. I knew Grace was right. I wouldn't have gotten excited about the possibility of Zig liking me if I was truly in love with Miles like I thought I was. I knew I had to talk to Miles. It wasn't fair for me to stay in a relationship with him when I had feelings for another guy.

"Promise you won't tell anyone about this conversation," I pleaded with Grace, "especially Zig."

"I promise."

As soon as first period ended I was determined to find Miles and tell him how I felt.

"Miles," I exclaimed when I finally found him in the cafeteria, "I really need to talk to you."

"What about?" he asked looking concerned.

"I don't think we should be together anymore." I replied nervously. I was afraid of how he would respond.

"Is this because of Zig?" he inquired angrily.

"No!" I argued annoyed, "It's because my feelings have changed towards you and I don't think it's fair to you to continue our relationship."

"So it is because of Zig!" Miles stated back drawing some of the people around us to stare at our argument.

"This isn't Zig's fault," I responded starting to actually get angry, "this is how I feel."

"Well do you have feelings for him?" Miles questioned, "Is that what changed?"

"That's irrelevant." I stated trying to act as if I wasn't internally freaking out. I didn't want this break-up to turn into a huge scene but it had quickly become that.

"You're dumping me for him," Miles yelled throwing his arms in the air, "how are your feelings for him irrelevant?"

"I'm not dumping you for Zig," I pointed out reaching my boiling point, "I'm just dumping you, period!"

"Fine than I guess we're over!" Miles screamed fire shooting in his eyes.

"Yeah we are!" I yelled before storming off while most of cafeteria followed me with their gazes. I just needed somewhere to think so I wondered the halls until I found one that was completely empty. I leaned against the cool wall and slid down until I reached the floor. Why is everything so complicated? I should like Miles. He's nice, funny, and can be really sweet. But then there's Zig. No matter how much I try to forget about them I can't deny that I clearly have feelings for him. My head keeps telling me that I should like Miles because he's safe and won't hurt me but my heart doesn't agree…my heart wants Zig even though I could get hurt.

"That was some fight." A voice commented snapping me out of my inner thoughts. I looked up and there stood Zig, the last person I actually wanted to see right now. I wanted to get my feelings and thoughts in check before having a conversation with him.

"What are you talking about?" I asked even though I knew he was talking about what happened between Miles and I.

"Don't play dumb," Zig responded joining me on the floor, "it doesn't suit you. So what was it about?"

"You didn't hear it?" I asked shocked that he wasn't front and center to see the huge blow out.

"Nah," Zig answered looking over at me, "I just saw it from a far and both of you looked pretty pissed when it ended so it must have been huge."

"Well we kinda broke up." I sighed the realization that I didn't feel too traumatized by it finally hitting me.

"How come?" Zig asked. This is why I didn't want to have this conversation until I figured things out. How could I tell him that our fight was about him and how I find of like him now?

"It's complicated." I replied simply hoping that he wouldn't want a deeper answer.

"You know when people say 'it's complicated' they just mean they don't want to tell the person the real reason," Zig made known with a smirk on his face, "so what's the real reason?"

"We've been fighting a lot lately and my feelings towards him changed." I responded quietly looking at the ground.

"Grace told me about the conversation you two had." He admitted causing my head to snap up and look at him.

"She what?" I screamed loudly, "I told her I liked you in confidence and she promised she wouldn't tell anyone. I can't believe her!" Zig started laughing as soon as my rant ended.

"What's so funny?" I asked aggravated by Grace's betrayal and the fact that Zig found this all so hilarious.

"I can't believe that worked." Zig stated still laughing hysterically.

"What?"

"Grace never told me what you two talked about," Zig admitted after he finally stopped laughing, "I just saw you guys talking and when I asked her what you guys talked about all she said was that you came to her for relationship advice. I wanted to find out if I was right."

"You're such an asshole!" I exclaimed hitting him in the arm, "and right about what?"

"How you feel about me." He answered simply, "and if you felt the same way I did."

"How do you feel?" I asked even though I was pretty sure I knew the answer to my own question.

"My feelings haven't changed since the day I told you I'd wait for you," Zig responded taking my hand in his, "and seeing you with Miles broke my heart."

"I'm so sorry I hurt you," I admitted squeezing his hand a little, "I honestly didn't mean too. And since we're admitting things I don't think my feelings for you ever went away. I just tried to bury them but I don't think I can bury them anymore."

"I've waited all summer to hear you say that," Zig stated smiling widely. I almost forgot how much I loved his smile, "but rules are rules. Remember no hanky panky."

"Then I guess we'll have to wait until you find another place to live," I suggested leaning my head on his shoulder and interlocking our fingers, "and this time I promise I'll wait too."