Chapter Five:
Later that evening, Luke walked through the door to the Solo apartment only to be bowled over by three excited children. Luke laughed as they tackled him to the ground, hugging and tickling. He tickled them back, one by one, and each time they squirmed away squealing, but always came back for more. Finally, Luke heard more than saw Han shoo the kids away before offering the Jedi a helping hand up.
"Thanks Han." Luke said, smoothing his tunic.
"You know, you really bring out the worst in them." Han teased good-naturedly. "Nasty little buggers."
"Ah, well, you know." Luke bantered back. "Someone has to teach them."
They shared a chuckle.
"We are not little buggers Dad!" Anakin stated seriously, his hands on his hips.
"Ah, sure Anakin." Han said.
"Uncle Luke, sit by me!" Jaina said, tugging on his sleeve and pulling him toward a seat at the large table.
"But I wanted to show you something in my room first!" Jacen complained, pulling Luke in the other direction.
"Alright, alright!" Leia said as she appeared from the kitchen. "Leave you Uncle alone for a moment."
"But…" the twins said in sync.
"After dinner, you can show Luke your room." Leia continued. "Sit down so we can eat."
The kids groaned until they heard the word 'eat' and then they leapt into their chairs, clanking silverware eagerly against the table.
Luke chuckled, embracing his own twin. "How are you?"
Leia kissed his cheek. "I'm fine. You?"
"Better."
"Good." Leia motioned to the table, pulling away. "Let's eat."
Jaina waved Luke to a seat between her and Jacen; he sat just as Han brought out the food. Once they were all seated, the children were served first, and they eagerly devoured their meal.
"So, what's new on Yavin?" Han asked once things had settled down.
"A few of the apprentices are getting very close to Knighthood." Luke said with a touch of pride. "And some of the Masters are on recon trips to search for any new candidates for training."
"What brings you to Coruscant?" Leia inquired.
"I had a few meetings with some of the senators." Luke answered. "I decided to stay put for a little while after that, I don't know for how long, though."
Leia nodded. "What did they want?"
"The usual: help them with a dispute no one else could handle; come and make an appearance at an opening ceremony…" Luke trailed off pointedly.
"Don't they realize you aren't the only Jedi anymore?" Han growled.
"I guess they don't want to." Luke shrugged.
"It's just a morale booster for them." Leia offered. "Did you agree to anything?"
"I agreed to make an appearance at a museum opening for Ronduu city on Bellassa next month." Luke took a drink. "I had nothing happening then, anyway. And… I'd like to see the planet."
"Can we go too, Uncle Luke?" Jaina asked, her warm brown eyes hopeful.
"I don't know, Jaina." Luke said with a glance at Leia. "That may not possible."
"I won't be able to make the time." Leia agreed.
Jaina looked down at her empty bowl in disappointment. Luke felt his heart go out to her.
"Tell you what, why don't we go to the flight simulators instead when I get back from Bellassa?" Luke offered. "I can pull a few strings with Wedge, and get us some flight time."
Jaina's head shot up, her eyes now wide with excitement. "Really!"
"If that's alright with your parents." Luke added as an afterthought.
"Sure, why not?" Han said, unwilling to break his little girl's heart twice in one night.
"It would be nice for you two to have an evening together." Leia agreed.
"Yes!" Jaina whooped, a lopsided grin crossing her face.
Luke could very much see Han Solo in that smile.
00000
Mara walked through the door to her apartment, looking around at the sparsely furnished surroundings. After spending time with Luke, her own place looked so cold and uninviting… and lonely. She shook her head defiantly.
Snap out of it Jade! She chided herself.
Mara sighed and went out to the balcony, sitting in the sole chair and watching the traffic fly by not too far away. She tried to keep her mind blank, unnerved for some reason by the sudden silence surrounding her.
Had her apartment always been so solitary and foreboding?
Mara sighed and leaned her head back against the chair, eyes closed. As soon as she relaxed, however, images assaulted her: images from the night she'd been captured.
Pain… it wasn't supposed to be a painful experience… I thought love was supposed to feel magical, wonderful…
But then again… this wasn't love by any stretch of the imagination…
Mara squeezed her eyes tighter shut, trying to force her mind to obey her, but it refused. She couldn't be here right now; she didn't want to be alone after all. She wasn't ready to deal with this on her own yet. Her emotions were as unstable as the moment she'd first woken in Luke's bed. She couldn't control it.
I don't know what love is… and how could I, even if I wanted to? What is love? Luke says he loves me…
Mara jolted awake at that, her heart pounding. Luke had never said it… at least, not outright. But did he know what love was?
I want to know what it's really like to make love… I need to know… but who? Who would make love to me now?
Mara stood and left the apartment, knowing exactly who she wanted to experience love with. But first, her mind still whirling in a disorderly fashion, she had to buy a few things.
00000
Hours later, Luke helped put the kids to bed and then went to the sitting area with his sister.
"Thanks for dinner, but I'd really like to get home and try to rest." He said to Han, who was lounging on the couch.
"Sure thing, Kid." Han said with a jaunty wave. "See you later."
Leia walked him to the door. "Are you sure everything's alright?"
"Tonight was great fun." Luke hugged her warmly. "I needed a break."
Leia gave him a mild glare. "You didn't answer my question."
He sighed. "I'm… not ready to talk about it. Please."
She shook her head in frustration. "You don't always have to be so secretive, Luke."
"This time I…" Luke clamped his mouth shut suddenly, realizing he'd given too much away.
"What's so bad that you can't tell anyone?" Leia asked, eyeing him warily.
When he remained silent, sending only a silent plea through the Force, she reluctantly gave up.
"Fine, but we're here if you need us." Leia sighed.
"I know." Luke kissed her cheek. "Thank you. I love you."
"Love you too, Luke."
He walked away without looking back, and didn't breathe easy until the turbolift doors closed. He would be grateful to lose himself in a deep sleep. The lift stopped, and Luke exited onto his floor. He keyed his door open, and walked in, stifling a yawn.
He flipped on the lights, closing the door behind him. When he turned around, his heart leapt into his throat.
"Mara?" he squeaked, feeling a blush cover his entire face.
She sat nervously on one of the chairs, dressed in nothing more than a forest green baby-doll. The fabric on her chest was thankfully not revealing, but the rest of the fabric was sheer lace. He tried not to look, but a pair of matching lace panties showed at her hip.
She stood, causing Luke's heart to pound at the even more sensual image.
What in the blazes? He wondered, and then, before he could stop himself, Stars she's breathtaking!
Mara approached, and Luke fought to keep his gaze focused on her face.
"What are you doing?" He asked uneasily.
She stopped in front of him, mere inches away, and Luke swallowed hard.
"Luke, do you find me attractive?" She asked quietly.
Luke nodded mutely, not trusting his voice.
"Beautiful?" She whispered, working her hands timidly.
"Of course." Luke answered carefully, aware that he was on dangerous ground.
She moved an inch closer. "Pretty enough to make love to?"
Luke fought with all his might to keep his expression neutral. "Mara, I…"
"Do you want to make love to me?" She pressed before he could finish, moving closer still.
Luke backed away, feeling trapped both by her insistence, and his fight to keep calm with her brushing against him in that outfit. She followed him, pushing him against the wall, and landed a fevered kiss on his cheek.
Luke trembled as she trailed her lips down his neck, but grabbed her hands before they could wander into uncomfortable territory.
"No, Mara." He whispered, making a valiant effort to steady his breathing.
"Yes." Mara said hoarsely. "Please!"
She brought her face back up, and captured his lips with hers. Luke's mind exploded with the sensation, and he brought shaking hands up to her shoulders to try to push her back gently, though every other part of him screamed for him not to. She broke away, and leaned her head against his forehead.
"Please, Luke." She pleaded. "Please!"
Luke shook his head. "I'm sorry, I can't."
She began to weep, stepping back from him. "Am I not enough for you? Am I so ugly now that I'm not worth making love to?" She asked bitterly.
"What? Of course not!" Luke argued.
"Then why won't you make love to me?"
"You're not thinking clearly." Luke answered gently. "Mara, I would love for nothing more than to make love with you." He paused to collect his thoughts. "But to do so right now, while you are still recovering…"
"Forget about that, dammit!" Mara shrieked, making him jump. "Don't you think I am well aware of what happened?"
Luke looked into her emerald eyes, and for the first time in years, he feared for his life.
"Mara, please, listen to me!" He tried.
"No, you listen!" Mara cut him off harshly. "Is the Great Jedi Master too good for a woman who has been raped?"
Luke allowed his horror to show. "That's…"
"Ridiculous?" Mara quoted, eyes burning. "So you've reminded me, multiple times in fact."
"No, I…"
"Or is it that you are afraid?" Mara challenged. "Are you afraid that the former Emperor's Hand, trained by the elite in all fields, is too much of a risk?"
Luke sidled along the wall, trying to break free from her overbearing presence. "Please, let me speak."
She snapped her mouth shut, lifting one eyebrow pointedly.
Luke took a deep breath. "As I said, I would like for nothing more than to love you. But if we do so right now, you will hate it come morning." He looked away. "And you will resent me, and I will hate myself for…"
"No! You're just a damned coward!" Mara burst, her temper flaring.
All the anger, hate, and pain she had been holding in, tempered with disgust and self-loathing hit him broadside. As he staggered, she grabbed him and slammed him against the wall, pinning him.
Luke stomped on his natural urge to fight back, refusing to hurt her.
"You say you don't want to make love to me because I'm unstable, when what you're really saying is that you're nothing more than a kriffing coward! You're just a stupid Farmboy from a tenth-rate, backwater planet who can't hold on to love to save his life!"
"Mara!" Luke cried, deeply hurt.
"How many women must you commit to your lack of experience? How many women's' lives have you ruined, simply by being in them? And love!" She snorted, completely ignoring his anguish. "What in the nine hells of Corellia would you even know about love? Your idea of love is to find some helpless woman, try to turn her into something she isn't and then wonder why it all went sour!"
"Well, here's one woman who will not fall for your obtuse stupidity!" Mara finished.
A tense silence filled the air, so thick it could have been cut with a knife.
Finally, Luke spoke in barely audible tones. "I'm sorry you feel that way."
Shrugging roughly out of her grip, he made for the exit.
"Let's go Artoo."