Chapter Seven:
Mara woke to a white ceiling and bright lighting. Her head was pounding, and she felt as though she had been lying on a wooden board for three days straight.
When her eyes focused, she glanced over to see Karrde sitting at the small table in the room, playing a card game. He glanced up, saw her awake, and immediately came over.
"How are you feeling?" He asked.
"Terrible." She mumbled from a dry throat. "Thirsty."
He nodded and produced a cup, helping her to sip some water.
"Much better, thank you." Mara said.
She tried to sit up, but Karrde gently pushed her back down. "The doctor said you need to rest."
"What happened?" Mara queried.
"What do you remember?"
She frowned. "Um… I remember dizzy spells in our, uh, meeting. And heat. Then something warm and metallic…"
Karrde nodded.
"Talon?" Mara asked fearfully. "What's going on?"
He shifted uncomfortably. "Mara, you miscarried."
She stared, dumbfounded. Her exhausted brain struggled to process what he was telling her. Miscarried? Miscarried what?
"I don't understand." She finally relented with a tired sigh.
"Did you know you were pregnant?" He asked.
That woke her up. She jolted upright, ignoring the dip in her equilibrium as her body adjusted to the sudden change in position.
"What?!" She shrieked.
"Apparently you were pregnant." Karrde said tentatively. "The doctors say the fetus never positioned properly to the uterine wall. I'm sorry."
Mara continued to stare, unable to do anything else through her shock.
"No." She finally replied. "I had no idea."
"If I may be so bold, I think that might somewhat explain your recent moodiness." Talon said bravely.
Mara glared at him, but only for a second. Then she lay back down, placing one hand to her forehead. Pregnant? She'd been expecting?
Vered.
The name filled Mara with sudden loathing, and she mentally spat upon the fact that he had failed to sire a child. She was glad she didn't have to carry that particular burden.
But then, just as suddenly, tears welled up in her eyes, burned her throat, and she turned away from Karrde to hide them.
He placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezed sympathetically, and stood to leave.
"I will see to it that you get the rest of your leave. You will need it, and I will not take no for an answer." He stated before she could object. "I will not have my best employee run herself into ruin by not taking care of herself when she needs to."
She merely nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks, and dripping off her nose.
When the door closed, Mara allowed her silent sobs to become vocal. She dug her face into her pillow, allowing her pain to flow into the object, willing it to take hers away.
00000
"It's been weeks, Han, weeks!" Leia said as she paced the floor of their room.
"He's a big kid Leia; he can take care of himself." Han reassured her, though she could sense his own concern for Luke.
"But I can't feel him, either. He's blocking me, hell, he's blocking everyone. I tried to contact him via the Academy, but they said he wasn't available." Leia continued. "I'm very worried about him. He did not leave on good terms."
Han watched Leia pace; thinking of what she'd told him of Luke's breakdown. Part of Han wished he had been there to help the kid too. But another part of him knew that as his twin, Leia would get better results from Luke than Han.
But the fact that Luke was basically hiding from everyone set off alarms in Han's mind.
"He didn't say anything about why he left?" Han said, shaking his head to clear it.
"No. I wish I had asked." Leia replied, sitting suddenly.
Han placed a hand on her shoulder. "You know that would have only made things worse. Luke is too private with his grief: so private that it scares the hell out of me at times." He shuddered to make his point, and then continued thoughtfully. "I guess Luke did take you up on your offer to help, but in his own way. You did the best thing you could for him. He wants and needs to work this out for himself. As usual."
Leia leaned into his side, and Han wrapped his arm around her.
"Do you think he'll be here next week for Jaina?" She asked.
"He'd better be!" Han growled, "Or I'll ring his neck myself, for breaking her heart!"
"Luke would never hurt the children." Leia said defensively, though she loved her husband for his protective instincts as a father.
"Maybe you should send him a message, to remind him, just in case." Han suggested in a softer tone.
"I think I will do just that." Leia brightened. "Maybe it will help him to remember his date with his niece. It will do him some good to spend time with her."
"I concur." Han said in his best political voice.
She slapped him playfully on the arm, and he drew her in for a kiss.
00000
A few days after her incident, Mara flew the Jade's Fire away from the Wild Karrde. She sat back in the pilot's seat, thinking.
Karrde had come to see her just before she'd been released from the med. center, and told her that she needed to make things right with Luke before she returned. She resented his boldness, but on a deeper level, Mara knew he was right.
Mara knew how badly she'd cut Luke with her accusations and thoughtlessly harsh criticism. It made him the better person that he'd simply walked away when he could very well have taken his anger out on her. And he would have been justified in doing just that.
But, Luke being Luke, he did not. And now, after yet another life-changing crisis, Mara felt her ragged and bruised soul aching for his loving care. She needed him, so desperately it hurt.
Pushing aside her fears that he would deny seeing her, she commed the Academy on Yavin IV.
Tionne came online, nodding her head respectfully. "Mara."
"Tionne, I was hoping to speak with Luke. Is he available?" Mara asked.
Tionne's expression darkened briefly, and Mara saw something akin to fear in her pale eyes.
"Master Skywalker is not in… good shape right now. And in fact, he's not here." She replied after a moment.
"Where can I find him?"
Tionne glanced at something off-screen. "He is currently attending a museum opening, but he told us he would be going to Coruscant from there. Something about spending time with Jaina Solo."
Mara was afraid to ask, but she had to know.
"Tionne, what did you mean by Luke being in bad shape?"
The other woman cringed noticeably. "He disappears into the jungle all night, and when he comes back, if he does, he's so spent he barely makes it to his rooms. An apprentice actually found him slumped unconscious in the corner of a turbolift the other day." She shook her head. "He still teaches evening classes, and he has not once taken anything out on the students, but nor is he eating properly. I don't think he's sleeping either, at least not normally."
Mara was assaulted with guilt and shame, knowing exactly what had driven Luke to such actions. Or rather, who had done so.
"Thank you Tionne." Mara said, before terminating the connection.
She sat in silence, deliberating. Why should Luke help her now? She was the one who'd pushed him rather violently away. All he'd done was help her, and per the norm, she had taken her frustration out on him. She'd used him as a verbal and emotional punching bag, virtually beating him to a bloody pulp.
Luke Skywalker would have every right to refuse her. She could only pray he wouldn't, because she needed him now on a level she had not known possible. But she did not want to meet him on Coruscant where all the prying eyes could watch.
Setting her course into the navicomputer, Mara sent the Jade's Fire into hyperspace.
00000
Leia watched as Jaina emerged from her room wearing a non-descript gray jumpsuit. She had her hair drawn up into a tight bun so it would be out of her way during the day. Leia was suddenly struck by how grown up her daughter looked.
But she also worried, because they still had not heard from Luke. Jaina placed a calm hand on her shoulder.
"Uncle Luke will be here, Mom." She said firmly.
I certainly hope so. Leia said silently.
"Uncle Luke never breaks a promise." Jaina added with assurance.
Leia was amazed at the loyalty her niece displayed for her uncle, a loyalty only surpassed by her love for her parents and siblings. Jaina looked to Luke as a second father, and to his credit Luke took her very seriously. Leia knew Luke looked upon Jaina as the daughter he may never have.
She knew how utterly lonely Luke felt, and it was only enhanced when he was surrounded by the Solo clan. He tried valiantly to suppress his envy, and desperate longing, but sometimes he wasn't completely successful.
And Jaina was right. Luke never made a promise he did not intend to keep. Leia also knew that he was going well out of his way, as usual, to show his love for his niece today.
If he made it.
Leia was starting to contemplate ringing Luke on his comlink when the front door chimed. Jaina was already halfway there, jerking the door open in her excitement, and flinging her arms around a slightly stunned Luke.
He quickly recovered, however, and brought his own limbs up to encircle Jaina in a loving embrace.
Leia made it to the door just as Jaina released Luke.
She gasped before she could catch herself, causing Jaina to give her a look of alarmed confusion, but Leia couldn't take her gaze from Luke. He was putting up a happy front for his niece, but he was still deeply troubled, and he'd lost weight. Luke looked like he hadn't slept in the entire time he'd been away.
He offered her a small smile, and then drew away from the door, resting an arm around Jaina's shoulders.
"Ready to go?" He asked her.
"Absolutely!" Jaina announced, grinning widely.
Leia would certainly be having a few words with her brother when he returned that evening. Luke gave her a strange look, but remained silent.