CHAPTER 7 : REVISITING THE PAST
Feeling like two boys going against their parents' wishes, Arthur unlocked the door to Uther's chambers. The stale air from a room long shut, hit them immediately. The movement of fresh air entering had disturbed the dust which rose in little clouds. Arthur let himself in while Merlin checked that the corridor remained empty before slipping in after him. Merlin had accompanied Arthur there frequently whilst Uther was alive, serving Arthur there during private father and son meals and standing behind him during selective meetings. He opened his mind but was happy to feel no trace of Arthur's father. The place was empty of not only life but any remaining vestiges.
The rooms had the feeling of abandonment even though Arthur knew that the castle housekeeping staff would systematically check them from time to time. Obviously, it was ready for a once over as there was dust visible and piles of soot in the hearth possibly dislodged by a bird seeking shelter.
They quickly toured the antechamber with its royal manservant's quarters which included a fair-sized bedchamber with a sitting area. So different from the quarters assigned to the manservant in Arthur's current chambers. Off the antechamber, there was also a reception room for visitors. Through doors into the private chamber proper, were the king's private sitting room, a dining room, another room overlooking the courtyard with a huge table where his father used to work on his papers or meet with his more important council members. Arthur remembered it as a place where he had stood to receive verbal rebukes and reprimands. The king's bed chamber at the end of the far end of the corridor was elegant with a spacious water closet and private dressing and storage areas.
Across a hall, with windows on the outer wall of the castle was a solar facing east and south, maximising the sun's warmth. This was a suitable room for the queen to have visits with her children, to entertain guests or relax by reading or embroidering with maidservants. Off this, was another small antechamber leading to the queen's personal quarters with a private bedroom, dressing room, water closet and maidservant's quarters.
Merlin stared at the covered furniture and the knotted curtains. He could see cobwebs but they along with the dust could easily be removed. He walked to the windows and looked down on the courtyard. He and Arthur separated and Merlin landed up in the king's bedchamber. The room was huge, with a wall of windows once again overlooking the valley. He visualised Uther laid out on the bed as Arthur had seem him when he visited him after his death and felt uncomfortable. True, his death had been a heart attack but he remembered not so much Uther but Arthur's demeanour when he had returned to the private dining room where Sir Rupert and Gaius had waited. Arthur had been shocked but there was a bitterness lying beneath it.
Merlin jumped into the present as Arthur put his hands on his shoulders saying, "You all right?"
"Yes…I was just thinking of how close he was to finding out about us. Sooner or later, when he realised you were not involved with any knight, he would have put two and two together."
"But he didn't, Merlin. He died never knowing that you and I were together. Life was kind to us."
Merlin glanced at the huge royal bed, with the tied up curtains and the ornate tester. "I don't think that I want to sleep in his bed, Arthur, I'd prefer if we moved our own."
"Don't be silly, we'll use this bed. People are dying all over the place. I've never known you to be squeamish. Most beds used belonged at one time to people who died in them, there's nothing to be frightened about. When we stay at an inn, do you insist on finding out if the bed was every occupied by a dead body? There's nothing wrong with the bed," Arthur said as he went over and sat on it bouncing, sending up clouds of dust.
Merlin grinned, "It's not the fact that he died in it. It's just that I'd feel weird sleeping in it with you!"
"Sleeping with me in it or having sex with me in it? There is a difference, Merlin, come on say it," Arthur teased.
Merlin blushed, "The latter probably…"
"No problem, when the time comes, I'll mention to Humphrey that we naturally want a fresh mattress. Would that make you feel better? But it will be with some satisfaction that I first take you to bed in my father's chambers. I'll yell to the heavens from the windows, 'See Father, this was our little secret; I love Merlin and he loves me in return, I'm so happy that you never found out so that you could sully our love with your small mind!' Maybe we could do it in unison… "
Merlin grinned as a blush slowly claimed his cheeks but he was not conscious of it and Arthur claimed his lips.
They visited the remaining rooms together and Merlin felt Arthur hesitate when he realised that he was in the queen's quarters. This time they meant something else to him and Merlin felt a shudder go through Arthur so he turned to put his arms around his shoulders.
"These would have been her quarters, Merlin, for the short time she lived here."
"…and she would have been so happy being here, knowing that she was going to have a baby and that she loved her husband and he loved her very much."
"Really?"
"Really! She had no idea what was going to happen, she probably sat in the solar during the day, embroidering baby clothes with her maids chatting about babies and the like."
"Reginald said that she …"
Merlin thought, 'Can we never get away from that blasted man!' He listened quietly to Arthur's words and then said, "We'd better be going. It would spoil Humphrey's plan if we were found here."
-0-0-
Merlin's reprieve didn't last long. Reginald again started to put pressure on Arthur with tantalising titbits about his mother's life as a young girl.
Geoffrey had yet to hear if the package had reached its intended destination. A fortnight had passed and no news. At last, the messenger had returned assuring Geoffrey that he had passed the package on and it should reach its destination within ten days.
Meanwhile, Merlin's life was a misery. Arthur had once again reverted to having Reginald included when he met his other knights. There was a testiness between Reginald and Spenser whom Merlin could see was feeling pushed out of the way.
Reginald continued being condescending to Merlin, questioning Arthur about the special treatment he received from the knights and even the king himself. Arthur attributed it to the knight's lack of confidence. No one acknowledged any trouble but a more courageous Spenser warned Arthur not to trust the man mentioning his seeming paranoid about Merlin; however Arthur just laughed it off.
The negative feeling reflected in Merlin's life as he was less involved with Arthur and there was a tone of uneasiness between the king and the usually outgoing companion knights. No one wanted to come out with a statement which might have Arthur turning on them. Camelot was running well but within its social structure there was a fracture.
Reginald had an annoying habit of commandeering conversations and their king allowed it, proving to Arthur's friends that Reginald had succeeded, with Arthur's blessing of ingratiating himself into their group. None of them welcomed him and tension was apparent to all save the king.
One day during training, Gawaine sick and tired of seeing Merlin pushed aside by Reginald and on more than one occasion used as the brunt of disparaging jokes, mentioned to Arthur that Reginald should take part in the training as without any practice since the tournament he was possibly becoming rusty. He even, much to Arthur's annoyance offered to spar with Reginald.
Merlin suddenly found his boots very interesting, he didn't want to be involved and he knew that it had been Reginald's comments about him which had instigated Gawaine's suggestion. He felt Arthur stiffen and say with some vehemence, "I can assure you that Sir Reginald has better things to do than spar with you, Sir Knight!"
The surprise and shock of Arthur's pettiness was apparent in the faces of the other knights but Arthur either didn't notice or decided to ignore it. He had achieved his goal of putting Gawaine firmly in his place. Spenser stood open mouthed catching Merlin's eye but Merlin refrained from letting on that he had even heard the exchange of words.
Inside, Merlin cringed, this man had such power over Arthur that he was now turning on his own friends. He had begun to accept Arthur's coolness towards him. Nights were again lonely times, often with Arthur being reminded by Reginald to dismiss him for the evening insinuating that Thomas was better suited for the job.
Reginald had accomplished what he had wanted; he had driven a wedge between the monarch and his faithful manservant, cemented in place by frequent mentions of Ygraine and how he felt, she would have wanted her son to act. He has opened the proverbial door, allowing him to slip into a position of trust. Back in his chamber, he smiled to himself, his first plan of many has been accomplished.
-0-0-
One night, Merlin returned to Gaius's as Gaius was turning in. He glanced at him worried, "Is there something wrong with Arthur? Do you need my help?"
"Gaius, may I sleep here tonight?"
Gaius looked at the defeated figure and walked to the fire gave it a good poking before throwing on another couple of logs. He swung the kettle over the flames and turned smiling gently at Merlin said, "By the look on your face, I know I won't be getting to bed any time soon, so I think a nightcap of a little mead with boiling water would not be unwelcome."
Merlin plunked himself on the other side of the hearth and opened his heart, sharing with Gaius all his fears, worries and misgivings.
"Won't he wonder where you are when he turns in?"
"Gaius, he doesn't acknowledge me half of the time. We're like two strangers sharing a bed. As long as he has the enemy whispering about Ygraine, he ignores me." Merlin finally looked up saying, "Gaius, it hurts, I want the old Arthur back!"
Gaius felt helpless and he was, whereas on other occasions he might have gone to bat for Merlin, until Arthur opened his eyes to what was going on, his words would have fallen on deaf ears.
-0-0-
Leon approached Merlin. "I'm worried that Arthur seems to be spending time with Sir Reginald and neglecting his knights and the normal goings on in the council. He asked me to sit in for him at the finance meeting. I know I'm quite capable of running the meeting but the committee members expect the king present except in extenuating circumstances of illness or military excursions. Arthur didn't even have the decency to speak to me directly, a note was delivered by Thomas.
"Merlin, what is going on? I find it hard to believe that Sir Reginald has in the short time he has been here, become such a close friend of the king."
"It's complicated."
"Merlin, it's more than complicated if he is such a friend of Arthur, why are you not involved with him? I heard him complaining to one of the knights whom he seems to have befriended that he felt that you were a bad influence on the king's young ward and that he was going to recommend that in view of some unexplained ties, he would be suggesting that Treva be removed from your wardship and he himself should take your place."
Suddenly feeling sick, Merlin then and there, decided to add Leon to the group of people, Gaius, Geoffrey and Gawaine who knew the current situation. "Leon, I have a feeling that Arthur will not need me this afternoon, he has already referred to matters which he needs to discuss with Reginald and without putting it into words, it was understood that my presence would not be called for. Please, meet me at Gaius's after lunch, we're having a meeting and I'll bring you up to date on things. We need fresh ideas and Arthur only recently told me that he was pleased with your initiative and loyalty. Maybe, once you hear the story you will be willing to join us to get to the bottom of this…what I can only call a mess."
Leon nodded and walked away.
Merlin leant against the wall, wondering, 'Why if Arthur is so completely taken with Reginald, hasn't he told the man about the two of us? It would save a lot of trouble for everyone. However, for some reason which even I can't fathom, Arthur hasn't.' He thought, 'Deep down is he maybe not as enamoured with and trusting of the man as he seems to be?'
He walked with a slight spring is his step, hoping that Arthur was coming to his senses. But regardless of Merlin's wishes, he didn't…
The meeting at Gaius's went well. Leon listened in stunned silence. He was shocked and seemed to have trouble following the ins and outs of the story. But follow it he had for he offered to approach Arthur for some time off to visit his family. He smiled, saying that he was sure that someone was ailing enough to cover the lie and he himself would track down Mordecai.
Geoffrey suggested that they should wait longer giving the package a chance to be received, opened and answered. Gaius agreed it was only Gawaine, Merlin and now Leon who felt that they should do otherwise. At this rate it could be another fortnight before a response could be expected.
Leon requested time away from Camelot to deal with family matters. He asked for a knight and a manservant to accompany him. Arthur granted permission much to Reginald's annoyance and Leon saw the old Arthur asserting his power while ignoring Reginald.
-0-0-
Slowly Reginald took over as Arthur's best friend, building his own following among the knights of Camelot. He chipped away at Merlin's character and continual presence. Arthur much to Merlin's disgust told Reginald that he would be welcome to make the castle his permanent home, refusing to lose face with the man who belittled Merlin making snide remarks about his physical appearance and inaptitude in hunting and general clumsiness. When Merlin stated once again that he didn't trust the man, Arthur who had just had a bad day, turned on him telling him to return to Gaius and threatening that in future, if Merlin continued criticising the knight, he would be only too happy to have Thomas as his sole manservant.
Merlin fought it but Arthur supported by Reginald was adamant. Merlin, heartbroken to lose Arthur resorted to visiting him at night sitting by his bed watching over him until dawn came. On many occasions when Arthur murmured his name, fighting the desire to creep into bed so that he could snuggle into the person he loved.
He'd whisper, "Arthur, you are the one I love, there has never been nor will there ever be another. I know things are going through a rough patch but we are trying desperately to help you out of this mess." He didn't dare touch him so he left just as dawn lightened the room, after blowing him a kiss.
The breaking point was when Reginald talked Arthur into giving Merlin's horse Iago to his own manservant.
Merlin upon hearing the plan turned to Gawaine who approached Arthur asking that as his own horse was lame could he not use Iago who was no longer being ridden by Merlin who was no longer invited to accompany Arthur on outings. Arthur laughed, he couldn't see Gawaine and Iago coexisting peacefully, yet he thought, 'This might prove amusing.'
Arthur was ready to refuse Gawaine's request but as Reginald counselled him to do so, he abruptly dug his heels in and loaned the horse to Gawaine, telling Reginald that the Master of the King's Horses would choose another horse more suitable for his manservant. None to pleased, Reginald planned other ways to thwart Merlin's importance to Arthur.
-0-0-
Two weeks passed and Merlin was no longer acting as Arthur's manservant. He had been given an official note telling him that until further notice, he was relieved of his position and should work with Gaius. He was heartbroken as Arthur hadn't had the decency to hand him the message personally. He watched him from afar and felt nauseous watching Reginald fawning over his former love. His nightly trips to Arthur's bed chamber continued with Gaius's blessings, as he covered for him.
Spenser was fit to be tied and sought him out. "Merlin, hang in there! We all know that it is only temporary. Arthur will soon come to his senses and when he does, he'll realise his mistake and come to get you."
Merlin smiled, he appreciated Spenser taking the time to see him but there was little that he could say. Spenser knew the ins and outs of his relationship with Arthur and all Merlin would have been able to do was to have agreed with him. He said, "I'm sorry if this is causing a lot of trouble for the others. I am resigned to wait for Arthur to come to his senses." He thought, '…if he ever does!'
-0-0-
Arthur had worries within and without Camelot and he slipped into a minor depression fuelled by Merlin's absence and his own self doubt, both being attributable to no one but himself. He wondered how he and Merlin had become so separated and at his lowest, he had often thought of going to Gaius to ask for help in straightening out the mess the two of them found themselves in.
Reginald slowly assumed the position of Arthur's confidant but surprisingly there were parts of Arthur's life which he had sealed from Reginald, one of them being Merlin's and his faltering relationship.
Arthur's closest knights refused to discuss Merlin and Arthur's life.
Reginald had alienated most of the staff and the squires with his continual demands and complaints. The only one still enamoured with him was Arthur and it was not so much the man but the information he was feeding him about his mother.
-0-0-
That night Merlin and Gaius were eating supper when there was a knock at the door. Leon walked in minus his red cloak. "Well," he said, "I'm here to tell you that Arthur has given me time off and tomorrow, you and I, Merlin, with Gaius's blessing are going to travel to visit Lord Mordecai. Arthur has also allowed me to take Spenser and a manservant which I have decided, if you are willing, will be you."
Merlin had reservations, he was torn between getting this matter settled and staying around in Camelot to be available for Arthur if ever he should send for him.
Gaius said, "Merlin, you are doing nothing for Arthur staying here. Go and get to the root of this problem. Accept Sir Leon's offer."
Merlin wasted no time in packing a few things. Leon decided that Merlin would not ride Iago and suggested he chose another horse. That way, Arthur couldn't charge him with stealing, should the news ever reach his ears that Merlin without permission had left Camelot, to accompany Leon. Merlin chose Treva's late father's horse Burton. Leon and Gaius both approved.
Early the next morning, three dark cloaked travellers left Camelot, Leon with maps and addresses, identifying papers and copies of the letters which had already been sent in the original package. Merlin felt his spirits rise. He was doing something positive; he was fighting for Arthur and hoping to prove Reginald a fraud.
-0-0-
Gaius said, "Sire?" as Arthur came charging into his chambers. "How can I help you, Arthur?"
"Is Merlin here?"
Gaius shook his head.
"When you next see him, tell him it is imperative that I see him."
Gaius raised one eye brow at the word 'imperative' and thought, 'Shades of Uther.' Ever since Reginald had arrived, Arthur boosted by the other man's inflated value of self had taken on a commanding tone even while speaking to friends while asking for favours.
"Imperative, Arthur?"
Arthur toned down his demand, "Tell him I wish to see him…please." Arthur was feeling not surprisingly uncomfortable. He hadn't seen Gaius since he had sent Merlin packing and he knew that at the moment he wasn't Gaius's favourite person. He had hoped to waylay Merlin privately in the castle but he hadn't seen hide or hair of him which surprised him. "Where is he keeping himself any way? If the king can't find his manservant, it doesn't say much for the way his castle is being run."
"You do remember, Arthur, that you dismissed him!" Gaius said pointedly.
"Well, now I want to un-dismiss him. So, Gaius could you please send him to me as soon as he comes back."
"Yes, Sire, as soon as he puts his foot in the door." Before adding quietly as the annoyed monarch slammed the door behind him, "…and that, Sire, might not be for another fortnight!"
Gawaine had been keeping an eye on Gaius for Merlin and had got into the habit of joining him for a nightcap of mead, a couple of times a week. His appreciation for the court physician had risen considerably. He had come to enjoy the older man's company. It also didn't hurt that his supply of mead seemed unlimited and the quality far surpassed what was available in inns. They'd sit comfortably in front of the fire and discuss the Reginald situation, sometimes with Geoffrey and wonder how far the three friends had travelled.