CHAPTER 10 : SO TANTILISINGLY CLOSE

Supper in the main dining hall was a great success. Arthur was welcomed by all and acted graciously as a king should. He was entertained by his knights and the absence of one particular one made the evening not only relaxing but enjoyable. There was no tension and apart from the noticeable absence of Merlin, it was like old times.

Arthur turned in after the meal. Both Gaius and Geoffrey had been present, the former beaming as Arthur was back to himself without any lingering problems. Arthur walked over to him before he left, thanking him for taking care of him and putting up with him as he felt sure he must have been a very difficult patient, as that was what Merlin always told him.

Gaius smiled saying, "Sire, it was an honour and seeing you so well is my greatest pleasure."

"When he comes back, you'll get word to me immediately, won't you? …even if it is the middle of the night?"

Gaius put his hand on his arm promising, "Yes, Arthur…even if it is the middle of the night!"

Gawaine saw Arthur upstairs and then Thomas took over. Before he got into bed, Arthur hesitated and said to him, "Thank you for all your care…"

"It was my pleasure, Sire." said the smiling Thomas as he glanced once more to check the fire, before walking into the antechamber to the room he was still occupying. He thought, 'One day soon, Merlin will return and I'll be back in my own chamber.'

-0-0-

Two days later, everything fell apart. Simon, Arthur and the squire Rhylan had returned from the training field where Arthur had been doing light training and exercises. He was pleased with himself as he could feel that his body was getting stronger and his movements were not only more forceful but almost fluid. They had climbed one flight of stairs and were crossing a corridor when a knight swept into view and went down on one knee in front of Arthur as if he were paying him allegiance.

"Your Majesty, I am thrilled to see that you are back in good health. I really missed you during your convalescence. Maybe at your convenience, we might continue…"

Simon noticed Arthur pulling away, so he stepped in. "Thank you, Sir Reginald, for your concern. The King is however in a hurry and must be on his way." He grabbed Arthur's elbow and smartly ushered him beyond the knight.

Arthur finally breathed and smiled guiltily at Simon, "Thank you! For a moment, I was so shocked that I could think of nothing to say to the damned man. One day we will hopefully be rid of him, in the meantime the less I see of him the better."

Simon nodded, blaming himself. Gawaine had warned him to keep an eye out for Reginald as now that Arthur was up and around, he was sure to try to make contact. He had and it was lucky that he had been able to extricate Arthur from a situation which might have eventually proved not only embarrassing but stressful.

Opening the door to the royal chambers, he stood back allowing Arthur to walk in first. Thomas bowed before stepping forward to remove Arthur's cloak. Arthur meanwhile unbuckling his belt and Thomas then motioned for Rhylan to place Arthur's sword and scabbard on a nearby chest.

Going to the fire to warm his hands, Arthur called over his shoulder, "Simon, I don't think tonight, I'm ready for another encounter with that man, so I'll eat in my private dining room. Check that the others are able to attend. Thomas?"

The manservant reappeared from the antechamber, "Yes, Sire?"

"Make the arrangements for supper and what I'll wear tonight and then you can have a well-deserved afternoon and evening off. Also notify the Squire Master that I will be in need of Rhylan's services for the rest of the day."

"Thank you, Sire!" said Thomas, a half day off was not often in the works and when it was, it was a lovely surprise. He smiled at Rhylan and knew that he was leaving the king in good hands. "Watch yourself," he told the squire, "…now go and get some lunch for both the king and Sir Simon and look sprightly about it!"

Rhylan smiled, it was an honour to be chosen to personally serve the king. He smiled sadly knowing that if Merlin had been here, he would have taken over from Thomas. He liked it when Merlin was around as he kept an eye on how he was doing and was always free with encouragement and little suggestions, certainly making looking after the king easier. He had heard Romney speaking about Merlin and knew that the travellers were expected back any day now.

Gawaine was not pleased when he had heard about the run in with Reginald. He didn't blame Simon but felt, that left to himself, he would have managed to have kept the man from making contact with the King. Mind you, Arthur seemed to have got over it and was enjoying supper.

-0-0-

Gawaine with Sir Rupert's approval had arranged for guards to be posted daily on Tor Scanton. One of them would ride to Camelot when Leon's party was seen at the far end of the valley. Hopefully, the two knights would be in their red cloaks as that would make them more distinguishable. If they came through after dusk, everyone would have a pleasant surprise…the next morning.

It was still early and the supper party had broken up. Gaius had asked the knights not to tire Arthur as he wanted to speak to him privately before he retired. When Gaius reached the chambers, Arthur and Gawaine were having a last drink before the fire. Rhylan was hanging up Arthur's doublet and had removed his boots and given him his house shoes. Gaius heard Arthur say, "He took me by surprise and I was speechless! Thank God for Simon."

"Probably, my fault as I hadn't mentioned that he was back in the castle," said Gawaine. "Never mind, as maybe in a few days he'll leave, take his serving staff with him, the whole kit and caboodle. It'll be no loss to Camelot!" He said with some vehemence but noticing Arthur's frown, he said, "Excuse me, Sire! It wasn't my place to make that comment."

"No, no! It's all right, Gawaine. It's about time someone said it!"

Gaius made his presence known and Arthur offered him a drink. Gaius shook his head as Gawaine nodded at Rhylan and they both withdrew into the antechamber leaving Arthur and Gaius alone. Gaius walked over to the fire and joined him, "Arthur, before Merlin returns, I want to bring you up to date on a few things."

"You've heard from him?"

"No, but I have to confess that I know where he went and why." Gaius waited for Arthur to explode but he didn't, he just looked tired and apprehensive. He nodded for him to continue. Gaius took a deep breath before saying, "From the beginning, Geoffrey and I have been none too happy with Sir Reginald. We had nothing to base our reactions on, just maybe a gut feeling. Geoffrey questioned that the documents he carried were valid and sent out some letters requesting further information. No news was ever received and Merlin, feeling he was losing you, became very upset. He decided that he wanted to physically search out living family members who might or might not collaborate Reginald's claims."

"You let him go by himself! Anything could have happened to him. Gaius…what were you thinking?"

"He didn't go alone. When Leon knew something was upsetting Merlin, Gawaine let him in on our suspicions, so that he wouldn't approach you."

"So, everyone knew about this but me?" Arthur was getting a little hot under the collar.

Gaius continued calmly, "When Leon requested permission to visit his failing relative, it was a lie. He was afraid to ask for permission to check up on Reginald as you were so involved with him. You agreed that he could take a knight and a manservant. He chose Spenser; Merlin joined them in the guise of a manservant."

Arthur was annoyed but then he breathed a sign of relief. Leon could be trusted and Spenser wouldn't let anything happen to Merlin if he could help it. "Why didn't they just tell the truth, I would have let them go?"

Gaius raised his eyebrow to that statement, "Sire?"

So Arthur backed down, correcting himself by saying, "I might have let them go…"

"Arthur, you would never have given them permission? You were too taken up with Reginald to realise anything, you even pushed Merlin to one side when he queried Reginald's stories and tried to intervene. You sided with the man."

"He never asked me to get rid of Merlin!"

"Not directly maybe, but by making snide remarks and questioning his abilities…while more likely than not spinning tales which you wished to hear, he accomplished what he wanted, to get rid of your friend hoping to insinuate himself into that position and make himself indispensable to the King of Camelot."

Arthur looked mortified. That was exactly what had happened; he had let his love for his dead mother and his yearning for information about her cloud his brain and in so doing, had pushed aside, his one true friend. He felt stupid, even disgusted with himself. He thought, 'How can I ever face him?' He put his elbows on his knees and his face into his hands… In a little while, he got up and walked around the room not seeing anything, his mind preoccupied with what might have happened to Merlin and the others.

Gaius let him stew for a while then said gently, "Arthur, Merlin loves you. He was worried about you. He will always forgive you as he knows all about mothers and how much you feel shut out because your father never shared his memories of her. Let him tell you himself when he is ready."

Arthur rubbing his tunic cuff across his eyes, looked over at Gaius, "He does love me doesn't he? Hopefully, he'll understand."

"Come along," Gaius said briskly, "Turn in and get a good night's sleep. They could be back tomorrow." Gaius opened the interlocking door to the antechamber and nodded at Rhylan, "The King is ready to turn in…"

-0-0-

Turn in he might have but Arthur couldn't fall asleep. His mind was buzzing. Gawaine and Leon also suspected Reginald as did Gaius, Geoffrey and Merlin. In what other instances had he been so blind as to allow his feelings to cloud his perspective of the situation at hand?

What had Merlin thought of him? He had ignored him in favour of being led around by the nose by a lying knight. He had turned him away from his bed, from his chamber and finally from his castle. It had annoyed him when Merlin had started questioning Reginald's information. Here was a man who knew his mother and all the normal things which had occupied her day. He had represented himself as someone who had a wealth of information about his aunt, the Lady Ygraine. It had been so easy and satisfying to sit and listen to the stories. They were the subject of his dreams at night, he felt complete.

What he had not wanted to hear was Merlin's incessant criticism. Looking back, he realised that Merlin's warnings had often been none verbal as if he didn't want to hurt him but wanted him, by showing his displeasure to realise that the man was trouble. He had stupidly believed everything Reginald had said and had even felt pleased that he had a first cousin from his mother's family. He had ignored the person whom he loved the most.

After all, it wasn't completely his fault. His father was to blame as he had wilfully withheld information which a growing child needs to know about his mother. Gaius, bless him, had tried but nothing seemed real until Reginald talked about playing in the woods, the butterflies and the existence of her little sister Yvette. It had all seemed so plausible.

All lies! He had had his suspicions even before he had dismissed Merlin but he had pushed them to the back of his mind. In hindsight, he blamed himself. It wasn't until he'd got rid of Merlin, lying alone in bed at night that he began to see some of Merlin's reservations about the man coming true. He did seem to be trying to occupy most of his spare time; he did seem to have an unnaturally wide basis of information when he had previously acknowledged that he had been placed as a ward when he was young.

But no, he had pushed those thoughts aside and allowed himself to be tricked by a man who had slowly ingratiated himself into his life. He was embarrassed as he remembered how in front of all his friends; he had allowed the man chambers on the royal floor and a seat at a table closer to the head table. People must think that he was a dunderhead!

He stretched and snuggled back into the pillows, he had a plan. Tomorrow, he would start to make way for the expulsion of his non-favourite guest by meeting with Gaius, Geoffrey and Gawaine. Satisfied that he was taking the reins in his own hands, he remembered how one night after he had thrown Merlin out of his room he had awoken from a deep sleep and felt that Merlin was sitting in the chair watching him. He smiled softly, it had felt so real, he closed his eyes and pretended that Merlin was again beside him and he fell fast asleep.

-0-0-

Meanwhile in the woods, Merlin lay near the fire thinking of what type of a welcome he would get when he returned home. He knew Gaius and Gawaine would be pleased to see him but their feelings wouldn't be the most important. He had to deal with Arthur. He would be furious with the information Leon was carrying. The man who held all the information about his mother was going to be proved a fraud, a sham, a deceiver, an impostor.

Merlin felt that in his position as Arthur's one time friend and lover, he wanted to be there to cushion the fall or in the worst scenario pick up the pieces. Unless he had come to his senses during his absence, Arthur was going to be really hurt.

As much as he hoped otherwise, he knew that the likelihood of their rebuilding their relationship was tenuous. He had really hurt Arthur by going against his acceptance of Reginald. He shuddered when he thought about the difficult days before Arthur had dismissed him. He would cope as long as when he got back, having been absent without permission, Arthur would allow him to remain working for Gaius. He wouldn't try to approach him; he'd just live on the periphery of the life of Arthur, King of Camelot.

He could accept that, yet in his dreams, it was so different. Arthur had seen sense and had welcomed him back with open arms. He was reinstalled in his position and again slept with Arthur in the royal bed. He had told him how upset he had been when he found he had left Camelot and that he was so sorry for the way he had behaved and more importantly he loved him. He had always loved him…he would always love him.

Dawn always brought reality and Merlin fell back into a life of worrying how his return to Camelot would be welcomed by the King.

It had rained during the night and everyone was damp. He had to relight the fire twice and wait for it to burn the damp wood so that they could get enough heat the warm the gruel. He wandered over to the horses and looked at them. They were also wet and the rain had made rivulets in their coats and it reminded him of the rain running down Arthur's bare head if he were out in a bad storm. He shook his head. 'Better not to go there right now,' he thought. He gave the horses their oats and promised them that by tomorrow afternoon they would be cosy, dry and warm in the stables at Camelot. They looked at him but made no comment.

"What did we do to deserve this? said Spenser.

"Can't really complain," Leon insisted, "As we have had a run of surprisingly good weather and it is the season for dull and dreary, stormy days." Merlin smiled, he remembered giving Arthur weather forecasts just to annoy him. Leon continued, "Well, at least Merlin appreciated my sentiments."

"Just remembering the good old days," said Merlin. "Come on eat this up as it's not going to get any more appetising and we should get on the road."

The weather slowed them down but late afternoon they reached the town of Gudwells and found accommodation at The Wooden Bucket. Their red cloaks assured them a welcome and smiles were all around. The innkeeper offered them three chambers but they preferred to take a dormitory room for four with the understanding that they would pay extra just to have it to themselves. They arranged for supper and the two knights set themselves up in front of the roaring fire to warm up and hopefully dry off.

Merlin finally joined them. "Where were you?" Leon said, "We thought you'd got lost. We ordered you an ale and a slice of porkpie."

"I just settled the horses, gave each one of them a good wiping down with dry straw. We'll have to pay for extra oats as I gave them a meal and asked them to be fed tomorrow before we leave. It can't have been much fun for them in the rain either." He looked at Leon saying, "I can see steam rising from your cloak, take it off and I'll throw it over that settle, it will dry quicker…yours too, Spenser."

"Thanks, I can see why Arthur likes having you around, you can be a real mother hen sometimes." He then winked saying, "…and not only for that reason I'm sure."

Merlin blushed slightly, it felt good to be thinking of Arthur like that but then he remembered that he hadn't left on the best of terms and who knows what had happened since the three of them had ridden under the portcullis for parts unknown.

The pub began to fill up and Merlin removed the Camelot cloaks so locals could sit down. There was a general hubbub of conversation and a man sitting beside Leon struck up a conversation. "So, how's the King coming along? Heard he hasn't been too well."

Merlin's heart skipped a beat as he strained to hear the rest of the conversation.

"We've been away for several weeks and haven't been in contact with anyone," Leon said carefully.

"My son is one of the guards up at the castle, lucky he was to get the job, too! Saw him a while ago and he said that the King and another knight had had a nasty fall and he hadn't been seen outside since then. Mind you this was maybe a month ago…"

Merlin stood up, "Leon, I'm leaving now!"

Leon stood and came over to him. He had a flash of Arthur's anger should he arrive back without Merlin. "No, Merlin, this is my mission. It's pouring rain, it's dark, better you should wait until the morning and then at least you'll be able to see where you are going.

Merlin began to argue, "I'll trust my horse..."

Remaining calm, Leon put a hand on this shoulder and said, "I forbid you to leave!" Merlin shook him off.

"Merlin, don't go!" said Spenser. "Burton is not Gidun! He hasn't been ridden out enough to remember the direction home. Do what Leon says and we'll leave at daybreak." Spenser put an arm on his and led him back to their table near the fire. "Catching your death of cold is not going to help Arthur, now is it?"

Merlin allowed himself to be gently pushed onto a bench. Leon said, "I'll ask the landlord if he has any more information." Merlin watched him walk over to the landlord and his lady wife to talk. There was much head nodding and finally Leon returned with a relieved look on his face.

"Whatever happened must have happened after we had seen Mordecai. The landlady said that last week a royal messenger had stayed the night, she'd asked him if he had any news about the king and he said that he'd seen the king in the courtyard while he was waiting to get his missives."

"See!" said Spenser, "He sounds all right and by this time tomorrow, you'll see that with your own eyes."

Merlin nodded at both of them and tried to smile thinking, 'That's if he will even talk to me!'