Disclaimer: You think I own any of this? (dies laughing)

Note, 1: This is one of my first attempts at writing the Fruits Basket characters. Please forgive me if anyone seems too out of character. Advice is always appreciated; just don't be mean or uppity about it.

Note, 2: I don't like curse words. Nor am I certain that my parents would allow me to type them. Therefore, all swearwords will be written as follows: -CENSORED-. The strongest words I'll ever type out in this fic are: dang, shoot, and crud.

Verisimilitude

Five: Baths and Breakfast

Three baths had been completed—the only one left was Kyo. Who was, shall we say, being a problem child at the moment.

"NO!" screamed Kyo, running around to the other side of the bedroom and ducking under his cot. "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!"

"Quiet down," Hatori hushed. "You'll wake up the whole building."

"DON'T CARE!"

Plan A was now officially a flop. Time for Plan B.

Hatori sighed in resignation and folded his arms over his chest. "Fine then. But do you know what will happen if you don't get cleaned up soon?"

No reply.

"You'll get dirtier and dirtier. Your ears will be clogged with dirt, so you won't be able to hear. Your eyes will be so caked with mud that you won't be able to see. All your teeth will rot and fall out of your head. Due to a lack of brushing, your hair will be messy, dirty, and very heavy. Therefore, it will be so heavy that it'll fall right… off… your… neck."

Kyo bolted out from under the bed and sprinted into the bathroom. Hatori gave himself the figurative pat on the back and followed the youngster.

"Ewww!" Momiji squealed, sitting on the floor and grabbing his feet. "Tha's so gross! I'm happy I got clean!"

"You're always happy," Haru pointed out.

"Oh… yeah!" giggled Momiji. He suddenly jumped to his feet and scurried over to Yuki, who was sitting and hugging his knees to his chest in a corner.

"Yun-Yun!" Momiji exclaimed. "Why don'tcha talk to us?"

Yuki flinched and inched further into the corner.

"Maybe you're scaring him," suggested Haru, shuffling towards them on his knees. He knelt down about two feet away from them, resting back on his heels.

"But I'm not scary!" protested the blond little boy. He turned back to Yuki. "Maybe are you hungry?"

Not being able to properly pronounce his R's yet, the last word sounded more like 'hung-we'.

"If you're hungry," Momiji continued, "we're gonna have breakfast after Kyo's got clean. Hatori isn't a good cook, but it isn't too yucky."

"'Cept for oatmeal mush one time," Haru put in his two cents.

"Ewww!" the two five-year-olds chorused.

Momiji informed Yuki, "Hatori put-ed in too much water, so it was all icky and mushy and yuuuck!"

"Tasted like puke," Haru muttered, clarifying the matter.

"EWWW!" Momiji shrieked, covering his ears.

"What are you two doing to Yuki?" Hatori's voice demanded.

"Nothing!" Momiji and Haru replied innocently.

"Keep it that way. I'll get breakfast in a few minutes."

"'Kay!" shouted Momiji. "I mean, yes! Alright! Sure!"

Hatori was trying to teach his younger cousins good grammar early in life. Meaning that "'Kay!" was not an option.

Haru, feeling a bit rebellious that morning, mumbled under his breath, "'Kay."

"Haru…" Hatori's warning came.

The three cousins stared in the direction of the bathroom. How could Hatori possibly have heard that? It boggled the imagination. Haru shook his head slowly—Hatori was a force to be reckoned with.

-

Breakfast that morning consisted of cold cereal and a glass of milk each. The milk, as always, was to be drunk (drank?) down to the last drop. Kyo had no problem with this, of course, but Haru was still in a mutinous state of mind.

"Haru," Hatori said, looking up from his own breakfast, "finish your milk."

"No."

"If you don't, your bones will be weak. You want to be strong, right?"

"Not drinking it."

"Why?" Kyo demanded. "Scared? Scared of milk?"

Haru poked at Kyo's arm with his spoon.

"Stop!" hollered Kyo. "Or I'll dump the rest of my Cheerios on you! Dummy!"

Haru stared down into his lap, fists slowly clenching.

"Idiot!"

"Kyo, be quiet," Hatori ordered the orange-haired boy.

Eyes still glaring at Haru, he continued, "Numbskull!"

"Shut up," hissed Haru, barely loud enough to be heard at all.

"Whaddya say?"

"I said, 'SHUT UP'!" Haru yelled, lunging over and grabbing Kyo by his shirt collar. Milk and cereal spilled all over.

Kyo and Haru proceeded to insult/fight each other until Hatori stood up and slammed a fist down on the table. The pair froze. It was a bad time to stop moving, however, because Kyo currently had Haru in a suffocating headlock.

"Kyo, let go of him," Hatori began.

Kyo let go.

"Both of you, stand up."

They both stood up.

"Apologize."

"No way!" Kyo shouted, flinging back a fist and accidentally catching Haru in the jaw, sending the white-and-black-haired boy sprawling to the floor.

Hatori quickly knelt down next to the victim and helped him to sit up.

"Wha happen?" Haru slurred, slightly dazed.

"Weirdness again," Hatori said by way of an explanation. That was his temporary name for Haru's sudden and oftentimes violent outbursts—'Weirdness'.

"Yeah," Kyo put in, helpfully. "Whatsamatter with you?"

"Kyo," admonished the teenager, "I thought we agreed that you wouldn't pick on Haru until we could figure out whether or not he fights you on purpose."

"You agreed," Kyo shot back. "I didn't!"

Meanwhile, Yuki, still sitting at the table, was looking around with a "what the heck…?" expression on his face.

Momiji, who'd been alternately giggling and screaming throughout the whole fight, explained to his violet-eyed cousin, "Haru is weird when someone makes him mad, 'specially mostly Kyo. They fight and Ha'ri stops 'em. Then Haru is un-weird and don't know wha happened."

"'Doesn't'," Hatori automatically corrected, setting Haru back down in his chair.