Disclaimer: You think I own any of this? (dies laughing)

Note, 1: This is one of my first attempts at writing the Fruits Basket characters. Please forgive me if anyone seems too out of character. Advice is always appreciated; just don't be mean or uppity about it.

Note, 2: I don't like curse words. Nor am I certain that my parents would allow me to type them. Therefore, all swearwords will be written as follows: -CENSORED-. The strongest words I'll ever type out in this fic are: dang, shoot, and crud.

Verisimilitude

Six: The New Babysitter

Breakfast finished soon after that and, letting his younger cousins play in their room for the moment, Hatori quickly set up their school assignments. Because he didn't want them to have to worry about attending school until they could properly avoid transforming, he was temporarily home schooling them.

Noting that there were only three work folders but four students, Hatori muttered something under his breath and quickly printed out another few simple worksheets from his computer, setting it to the side and writing 'Yuki' at the top of the first page.

Hatori glanced at his watch and uttered a mild expletive—he was beyond being 'late' to school. Well, he'd just have to skip homeroom this one time. And where was that stupid babysitter?

Someone knocked on the door and Hatori, quickly falling into a bad mood, grumbled, "'Bout time, -CENSORED- man."

He flung open the door and stared at the woman in front of him.

"Hi, are you Hatori Sohma-san?" she smiled pleasantly.

"Who are you?" Hatori demanded, completely forgetting his manners in his moment of fury. "Where's Masuko-san?" Yujiro Masuko was the usual babysitter.

"I'm Kyoko Honda," she introduced herself, bowing slightly. Kyoko had apparently decided to overlook Hatori's rudeness for the time being. "Masuko-san, I regret to say, has passed on."

"But—how? He wasn't that old."

"He was hit by a car," Kyoko explained. "I was sent here to take his place."

Hatori covered his eyes with his right hand.

Great.

Now did he not only have to explain the basic schedule for all four kids, but the new babysitter was a woman. Not that he had anything against females, but he'd have to give explicit instructions to not come into close contact with the boys.

"May you find peace, Masuko-san," Hatori gave a brief, obligatory prayer. "Come in, Honda-san."

"Thank you. Where are the children?" Kyoko asked, entering the apartment and sitting down when she was invited to. "I understand there are three?"

Hatori, not taking a seat, stood in front of Kyoko. He was clearly all-business.

"I'm going to try to make this short," Hatori started. "You can take notes if you like, but please save questions for after I finish speaking. First, there are now four kids. Kyo, Haru, Momiji, and Yuki. They're in the bedroom.

"Kyo is the one with orange hair. He's very temperamental. His lunch is usually a tuna sandwich and a glass of milk. Use the can of tuna in the cabinet next to the fridge. White bread. Put the milk in the orange plastic cup. Never try to give him leeks. I'm not responsible for his actions if you do."

Kyoko raised an eyebrow, but remained politely silent.

"Kyo's schoolwork is in the orange folder. Make sure he stays focused. No bribing him with snacks or little paper cranes the way my idiot cousins do, but that's beside the point and now I've lost my focus."

Hatori paused and tapped his foot a few times, trying to regain his concentration. He began pacing back and forth in front of her.

"Okay. Haru is the one with white and black hair, don't ask. Never try to joke with him, or things may get ugly if you say the wrong thing at the wrong time. He needs more Vitamin D in his diet, so give him a scrambled egg sandwich. Put in one slice of cheese and use oil, not butter, no matter what he says.

"To drink, milk. He didn't drink it all this morning. Use the black plastic cup, it's near the orange one. All cups are in the cabinet above the sink. Haru's schoolwork is in the black and white striped folder. Help him with his subtraction. Give him a ten minute break if he gets too frustrated."

Hatori glanced at Kyoko and asked, "Getting all this?"

Kyoko looked up from her note taking and nodded.

"Good. Momiji is the blond one. He's very energetic, but try to keep him as calm as is humanly possible, if not calmer. He needs more Vitamin C. Citrus fruits. Put in some grapefruit, oranges, and some grapes. Make sure everything is seedless or he'll start spitting seeds at you."

Kyoko chuckled.

"What?"

She smiled and shook her head.

Hatori silently scrutinized her for a moment longer before proceeding.

"Give him apple juice in the sunny yellow cup, Lord knows why he likes the thing."

Kyoko bit back a grin.

"I think Momiji might have ADHD, so make him study for only fifteen minutes at a time—trying to force him does not work. Five minute breaks in between until he's done. Help him with grammar, correct any mistakes he makes immediately. Don't let it slide under any circumstances."

Kyoko nodded.

"Yuki… his work is next to the others'. He doesn't have a folder yet. For lunch, I think a… a cheese sandwich on white bread seems safe. Glass of apple juice. Use one of the clear cups next to the colored ones, but only fill it half-way. He's new here, so keep a close watch on him and let me know if anything in specific seems to upset him."

Another nod from the babysitter.

"Now, the basics. Lunch at noon. Give them forty-five minutes to eat and relax. If they aren't finished their schoolwork by one forty-five, let them stop anyway because they need naps. We had a busy night.

"Oh, and something very important. Never hug them. Do not hold them close. Hold their hands. Pat their heads. Pick them up at arms' length if you absolutely have to. But never hug them. Do I make myself perfectly clear?" Hatori demanded emphatically.

"Yes," Kyoko nodded.

"Fine, then. If a lunatic with long silver hair or a pervert with short black hair comes by, ask for their names before beaning them with a frying pan. The silver-haired one should be Ayame Sohma, and the black-haired one should be Shigure Sohma. They are my cousins and they are idiots, but they are generally harmless.

"Tell Shigure to shut up and study, and, if Ayame comes by, tell him to sit down and stay there until I come back. Got it?"

Kyoko replied in the affirmative.

"Good. My cell phone number is on the fridge. Only call me in an absolute emergency. Any questions?" The look Hatori sent Kyoko screamed 'please no questions!'.

"…A few."

Hatori held back a sigh and asked shortly, "What?"

"When should they start studying?"

"Soon as I leave."

"Why can't I hug them?"

"Personal reasons," Hatori said crisply. "Even if they ask to be hugged, don't."

"But… why?"

"It's really none of your business. Anything else?"

Kyoko shook her head. "I don't think so."

"Good…." Hatori glanced at his wristwatch and, trying desperately not to curse, dashed around the room, gathering up his school things and breathing, "Shoot-shoot-shoot, dangit, crud… -CENSORED-."

"Late for work?"

"Worse—school," Hatori said quickly, slinging his backpack over his right shoulder and holding a small briefcase in his left hand.

"I thought you looked kinda young," Kyoko smiled, standing up. "College or high school?"

"High—-CENSORED- it! You better do a good job," Hatori warned. Noting that she looked like a hugger, he flung over his shoulder, "And no hugging!" He ran out the door at a speed that could qualify him for the Olympics.