Disclaimer: You think I own any of this? (dies laughing)

Note, 1: This is one of my first attempts at writing the Fruits Basket characters. Please forgive me if anyone seems too out of character. Advice is always appreciated; just don't be mean or uppity about it.

Note, 2: I don't like curse words. Nor am I certain that my parents would allow me to type them. Therefore, all swearwords will be written as follows: -CENSORED-. The strongest words I'll ever type out in this fic are: dang, shoot, and crud.

Verisimilitude

Twenty: Doctor Shigure?, Part One

Shigure had just finished settling Hatori in his bed when he heard a soft yawn from another bed.

Oh, great, thought the dog. Kyo's awake.

He briefly considered awakening Hatori (the way he'd been supposed to), but immediately nixed the idea upon seeing the look of absolute exhaustion on the dragon's face.

'I don't want you to explain things to him the wrong way and end up scarring him for life,' Hatori had said. Well, the way Shigure had it figured, he just wouldn't explain things the wrong way, right?

Right.

If he was lucky, he might even be able to avoid the topic for several hours.

He sat down on the edge of Kyo's bed just in time to see the cat open his eyes slowly. After blinking and blankly glancing about, the general confusion began.

Eyes finally locking on Shigure, Kyo asked bluntly, "Who're you?"

"Ah, same old Kyon-Kyon," Shigure smiled. He fell off the edge of the bed when Kyo suddenly whacked him in the arm.

"Hey, what was that for?" protested Shigure, standing up. "You don't even know who I am, remember?"

Looking surprised himself, Kyo explained, "I dunno. I just didn't like it when you called me that name… dunno why… so. Who the -CENSORED- are you, anyway?"

"Shigure Sohma."

"Who's he?"

"Hatori Sohma."

"Him?"

"Yuki Sohma."

"Me?"

"Kyo Sohma."

"…I'm related to you?"

"Is that a problem?" Shigure asked, donning an injured expression.

"Not sure… could be. I mean, if I'm related to you, that could mean that I inherited insane genes or something…"

Genes? thought Shigure. Whaddya know. Lost his memory, gained some brain.

"I'm insulted," Shigure announced.

"So…" Kyo drew out, looking pensive, "how come I can't remember anything?"

"It's a long, miserable story…"

"I have time."

"Not yet," Shigure said, shaking his head. "I hafta save some energy for Ha'ri and Yuki… and the other kids, too."

"How many kids do you have?" Kyo wondered, eyebrows elevating. "You don't look that old."

"Three out of four of them are actually my cousins," laughed Shigure. "Yours, too. The other one is just hanging out here for a while."

"So I live with my three cousins? Are you my uncle or something? And that Hatori guy?"

"We're your cousins, too."

"Geez, how many cousins do I have?"

"More than you could ever imagine," Shigure deadpanned, just before breaking into a giggling fit.

"I think you're crazy. Is Hatori stable?"

"Huh? Oh, um, yeah. He's not nuts. But he's really tired, so you'd better not wake him up. Yun-Yun, either, or he'll probably try to kill you."

"Yun-Yun?"

"Yeah." Shigure pointed at Yuki. "Him. Remember?"

"Whatever. So." Kyo looked straight at Shigure. "I'm still waitin' for you to tell me why I don't remember anything."

"And I'm still saving energy for Ha'ri and the kids," retorted Shigure.

They continued talking for nearly an hour, until crashing noises and several shouts from the kitchen reached their ears.

"What's that?" Kyo demanded.

"I dunno," Shigure said, glancing nervously at the closed door of the bedroom. "I'll check—you stay here and be really quiet, okay?"

"Fine, whatever."

Shigure hopped up and hurried to the kitchen. Where he found complete and utter chaos.

The table was on its side, and various dishes were broken in several pieces, spread across the floor. One of those broken shards had apparently been stepped on by the barefooted Momiji, who was hopping around on one foot, shrieking loudly.

At the counter was Haru. Well, on the floor next to the counter, at least. The boy had apparently been standing on the countertop in an attempt to retrieve something from a cabinet, but had been startled when the table fell over, thus slipping and falling to the floor.

Tohru was standing next to the open refrigerator door, looking generally panicky and shouting if everyone was okay, and that she was very sorry for whatever damage she may have dealt to anything.

After Momiji, still bouncing on one foot, hopped onto Haru's nose, the ox promptly lost control and turned Black. He leapt up and began trying to strangle Momiji, who put down his sore foot to regain some balance. This wound up with him screeching in pain as the shard of china dug deeper into the sole of his foot.

The bunny fell forward after this, bumping into Haru and sending both of them straight to the floor. Tohru started shouting louder and, upon noticing Shigure standing in the doorway and looking dizzy with shock, cried out in relief—Shigure would be able to clear things up, surely.

The dog emitted a wordless yelp, and this cry distracted Momiji and Haru, and both boys looked up.

"Gure-chan!" Momiji wailed. "My foot hurts!"

"My EVERYTHING hurts," Haru topped Momiji's comment. Rubbing his head, he wondered, "What happened?"

Shigure, mouth hanging open, managed to squeak, "I… don't know… Tohru-kun…?"

Tohru immediately launched into a frazzled explanation.

"After we took our showers we were kind of hungry so Haru-kun and Momiji-kun decided to make breakfast but I said that I could do it myself but they insisted that they help so we all came in here and Haru-kun was going to get come flour from the high cabinet while Momiji-kun set the table and I got the eggs but then Momiji-kun bumped into the table and—"

Momiji continued, jabbering, "And the table fell over and broke all the dishes I put on the table and made a big mess and that surprised Haru so much that he fell off the counter 'cause he was standing on the counter to get the flour and when Haru fell I was gonna check on him but I stepped on one of the broken dishes and it REALLY HURTS!"

Tohru concluded the story animatedly with, "A-and then Momiji started hopping around and he landed on Haru-kun's nose and Haru-kun got mad and—and I think you saw the rest. Are you alright, Momiji-kun, Haru-kun?"

"WAAAH!" Momiji burst out, sitting on the floor.

"I dink by dose is broken," Haru commented, mispronouncing 'think', 'my', and 'nose' due to the fact that his nose was clogged with blood. Not only had Momiji stomped on it, but having hit his nose earlier when he'd fallen out of bed certainly did not help matters. He had both hands cupped around the aforementioned nose.

Shigure began his attempt at speech. "Um, ah, this, I mean, it, well, hm, eh… heh…."

He stepped forward, carefully avoiding the broken china. "Lemme see your foot, Momiji."

The dog wanted to check Momiji first, because he knew that the bunny would keep crying until he was proclaimed healthy, while Haru would just sit quietly and stare more or less patiently until he was taken care of.

Momiji sniffled and extended his leg towards Shigure.

"Ow," Shigure commented, gently holding Momiji's foot. "That's gotta hurt, eh? Hm… what would Ha'ri do…?"

"Make it better!" Momiji stated simply. "Ha'ri'd make it better!"

"…Any suggestions as to how?"

Tohru said, "Um, I think you should probably take out the piece of china first… then maybe put on some disinfectant or… something… maybe…?"

"Ah… okay." Shigure took hold of the broken shard and—

"OW!" Momiji howled in protest. "That hurts!"

"It won't when it's out!" Shigure shot back. He once again took the broken piece in his hand.

"OWIE!" yelled Momiji. "Get it out!" he wailed. "It hurts!"

"Well, how can I take it out if you won't let me touch it?!" demanded Shigure.

"I dunno! But it hurts, it hurts, it—"

"It's out," Shigure proclaimed, holding up the somewhat bloodied piece.

"How'd you do that?" Momiji wondered.

"I took it out when you were screaming in agony about how much it hurt," smirked Shigure. "Stay here while I get some disinfectant cream and bandages."

As Shigure left the room, Haru called after him, "An' don' forged aboud by dose."

"I won't," came Shigure's reply.

"I-I'll start cleaning up," Tohru decided. She found a broom and dustpan before setting to sweeping away the mess that was the broken dishes.

Shigure returned and, through many "ow"s and sniffles, managed to sanitize and bandage Momiji's foot.

"There, all better," Shigure declared. "Go wait in the dining room. I'll get breakfast after I take a look at Haru's nose."

"Okee-dokee," Momiji giggled, limping merrily to the living/dining room.

"I finished cleaning up the mess, Shigure-san," Tohru announced, just after she righted the table. "Is there anything else I can do? I can make breakfast."

"Nah… I don't think so," Shigure replied, shaking his head.

"Okay, then. I'll go wait with Momiji." She bowed quickly and scurried out of the room.

"Alright, Haru, let's have a look-see," said Shigure, shuffling over on his knees to Haru, who was still sitting cross-legged on the floor.

Haru moved his hands out of Shigure's way, so the dog could take a look at his nose.

"Ewww, Haru, that looks disgusting!" Shigure cringed.

"Well, den," Haru smiled sweetly, gingerly wiping some blood away from his upper lip, "you will just have to fix it, won't you?"

The dog sighed. This was going to be a very long day.