Summary: Three teenaged Sohmas take it upon themselves to assist their younger cousins. I guess it's somewhat of an AU.

Disclaimer: You think I own any of this? (dies laughing)

Note, 1: This is one of my first attempts at writing the Fruits Basket characters. Please forgive me if anyone seems too out of character. Advice is always appreciated; just don't be mean or uppity about it.

Note, 2: I don't like curse words. Nor am I certain that my parents would allow me to type them. Therefore, all swearwords will be written as follows: -CENSORED-. The strongest words I'll ever type out in this fic are: dang, shoot, and crud.

PLEASE READ!!! Note, 3: I'm reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllyyyyyyy sorry that this took so long! I just took on too many stories to write at once, and I didn't have any ideas, and this took about fifteen minutes to slap together so I'm really sorry if there are a bunch of grammar mistakes or misspellings but I just wanted to post it really fast so I didn't proofread and I hope it isn't too bad and... I'M SO SORRY!!! I'M A WASTE OF SPACE!! AND NOW I'M JUST WASTING MORE OF YOUR TIME BY RAMBLING! I'M SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (runs away screaming like Ritsu, who will show up eventually but not if I don't get typing so I gotta get started on that but... AGH! I'm rambling again! I'M SORRY!!!)

Verisimilitude

Twenty-Three: Black is Back

"Calm down, Haru," Hatori said.

"'Calm down'?" echoed Black Haru. He lashed out, punching the dragon square in the jaw. "De stupid cat's memory has been erased. By dose is broken. 'Calm down'?"

As you can imagine, Kyo was very confused and amazed by the sudden change in the ox. He muttered, "What the…?"

"C'mon, Kyo-kun!" Momiji cried, grabbing the cat's hand. "We hafta go get Shigure!"

"Why? He'll make everything worse."

"Well, if we don't get out anyway, Haru'll start beating us up, too!"

"Why?" Kyo turned to Haru. "What's your problem?"

Hatori sat up from his position on the floor and, rubbing his sore jaw, told Kyo, "Go with Momiji. Everything's okay."

"It is? Then how come he just punched you out?"

"He didn't punch me out…"

"But I will," Black Haru interjected darkly, attacking Hatori relentlessly.

Momiji then proceeded to scream at the top of his lungs, "SHIGURE!!!"

There were several loud crashes from both the kitchen and the bedroom before an incredibly frazzled Shigure rapidly managed to stumble into the kitchen.

"Haru! Stop that!" Shigure yelped, reaching forward to pry the infuriated ox off of the dragon. The dog immediately withdrew when Haru glared at him…

Scratch that. What I meant to say was that Shigure was sent flying when Hatsuharu delivered a wild punch to the dog's stomach. Yes, good old 'Gure even made a slight indentation in the ceiling. The landlord was not going to like that.

Tohru, who'd followed Shigure to the kitchen, was standing in the doorway. At least she was until Shigure flew above her head. Then she hit the deck with a loud squeal of surprise.

"What's wrong with Haru-san?" the onigiri asked breathlessly.

Shigure looked up dazedly from his position on the floor and, holding up a finger, said, "Would you believe… a temper tantrum?"

"I-I thought that H-Haru-san didn't seem the type to throw tantrums…"

"Think again," Kyo muttered. He stepped over Tohru and, returning to the bedroom, mumbled under his breath, "I'm surrounded by lunatics."

Finger still piercing the air, Shigure proclaimed, "But, seeing as you're related to us, that would make you partially bananas, too, right?"

"Shut up! Before I decide to stuff your bananas down your throat!"

"Well put, Kyon-Kyon!" applauded Shigure, sitting up carefully.

Fortunately for the dog, Kyo decided to ignore that. Fortunately for the rest of the world, Yuki had finished his shower by this time and was not happy with all the noise that Black Haru and Hatori were making. Wanting things nice and quiet so that he could mope in peace, the rat walked past Tohru, who'd since stood up, and made his way to the kitchen.

"Hello, Yuki-kun!" Tohru greeted anxiously. She was ignored, for Yuki had instead chosen to expend his energy on the ox.

"Shut up," muttered Yuki, clonking Black Haru on the head with a clenched fist. Without waiting to find if his blow had succeeded in its task, the rat turned and went to sit on the couch.

The ox knelt down, rubbing his forehead and wondering aloud, "Whad habbened?"

Tohru blinked in confusion, and Momiji stated, "You beat up Hatori!"

Haru looked at the dragon, who was just getting to his feet and brushing himself off. "Sorry…"

"It's not your fault," the future doctor told him, offering a hand up. "Shigure," he called.

"Yeah, Ha'ri?"

"You're taking Haru to the hospital. Now."

Shigure nodded. "Maybe they can treat me, too, while we're there."

"What's the matter with you?"

"Well, Haru did belt me pretty hard…"

"You're fine. Just go." Hatori prepared and then handed a damp cloth over to Haru. "Hold onto this and use it on your nose if you have to."

The dog sighed. "Alright. C'mon, Haru." Over his shoulder, he added, "I'll bring you back about fifty bottles of aspirin."

"See you guys lader," Haru said, not looking back as he and his older cousin left.

-

Since Shigure didn't know how to drive, and the hospital wasn't that far away, the two zodiacs agreed that they would walk the short distance there. Haru kept his nose covered with the cloth most of the time, and soon they had just one more street to cross before they reached the medical building.

"And I'm nod holding your hand dis time," refused Haru, glaring half-threateningly at the canine.

"Aww, Haru, don'tcha want me to feel all secure?"

"I don' really care," he mumbled, stalking a few feet ahead of Shigure.

"Okay, but I'm not gonna tell you about that open manhole that you're headed for, then," called Shigure. He paused. "Haru, slow down!"

Haru apparently didn't hear him, because he kept walking straight on—and fell into the sewer below.

"Haru!"