Disclaimer: You think I own any of this? (dies laughing)

Note, 1: This is one of my first attempts at writing the Fruits Basket characters. Please forgive me if anyone seems too out of character. Advice is always appreciated; just don't be mean or uppity about it.

Note, 2: I don't like curse words. Nor am I certain that my parents would allow me to type them. Therefore, all swearwords will be written as follows: -CENSORED-. The strongest words I'll ever type out in this fic are: dang, shoot, and crud.

Twenty-Five: Rat!

"Shigure," Haru called yet again. It had been… maybe fifteen minutes, and the dog had yet to move. "Shigure." Getting a sudden hunch about something, he said, "Shigure, if you're fakin' it jus' to bug me, I'm gonna punch you so hard dat you'll fly up through de manhole cover and land at de top of Tokyo Tower."

"Aww, you're no fun!" came the whiny reply. "I—oops, shouldn't'a said anything!"

The ox growled quietly.

"Um—ah—uh—well, at least you can't see me…"

"I'll FIND you, -CENSORED-!"

"Ah! Haru! I can't see you, either, but that sure doesn't sound good! Calm down! Please!"

You guessed it. Gone Black, for the second time that day.

…Then again, who wouldn't? It can't possibly be fun being stuck in a sewer with Shigure. And Shigure was about to find that out.

-

"Hatori! Hatori! Hatori!"

The dragon looked up as the bunny continued cheerfully banging on and yelling through the door. He was in the kitchen with Yuki, checking the rat's injuries and applying disinfectant, and had closed the door in the hope that Kyo, Momiji, and Tohru would keep quiet and not disturb them.

So much for hoping.

"What is it?" Hatori asked with his infinite supply of patience.

"Can Kyo-chan and Tohru-chan and me go to the park?"

"That's 'I', not 'me'. And no, you can't."

"Awww… why?"

"A, I hardly ever let you kids go anywhere alone. B, this has been a pretty hectic day so far and I'd probably have a nervous breakdown if I had to worry about you running wild."

"Then can we play a game?"

"What sort of a game?"

"Well," Momiji began, "I was thinkin' how about maybe… Monopoly®?"

"Momiji, you don't have to request permission to play Monopoly®. Twister®, yes. Monopoly®, no."

"Why do we have to ask if we can play Twister®?"

"You don't remember?"

Momiji hesitated. "Oh, yeah! Once Yun-Yun accidentally stuck his foot in my mouth! 'Member that, Yu-chan?"

"I try not to," stated Yuki coldly.

"Me, too. Feet taste weird. So we can play Monopoly®?"

"Of course," Hatori nodded.

"Yay! Do you and Yun-Yun wanna play, too?"

"I'm not going to, but Yuki might. We're almost finished in here."

"No thank you," was Yuki's response.

"Awww… well, let us know if you change your minds! KYON-KYON! TOHRU-CHAN! WE CAN PLAY MONOPOLY®!!" And with that, Momiji scampered off to dig the board game out of the closet.

-

Let's cut back to the sewer, where Haru and Shigure are having a whole lot less fun than the others will be having with their game.

"Sorry for beatin' you up so bad," Haru commented mildly, as the cousins leaned back against the sewer wall. "Not dat you didn' deserve it."

"Well, now isn't the best time to dwell on the past, I guess," Shigure sighed, rubbing his sore ribcage. "I suppose we—that is to say, the walking wounded—should try to find another way out."

"We can jus' climb up and push off de manhole cover," suggested the ox.

"No way am I going back up there! You try it. At least you don't have a broken arm!"

"I said sorry."

"But you didn't mean it," insisted Shigure. "Now go climb outta here."

"Can't. Sprained my ankle while I was beatin' you up. And my knuckles hurt, too."

"Not as much as my stomach! …And a coupla other places I won't mention…"

"Guess we jus' hafta shout really loud an' hope someone hears us," Haru concluded.

"Okay. HEL-LOOO—oww!"

"Whad now?" sighed Haru.

The dog explained, "Shouting hurts my ribs…"

"Fine, den. I'll shout. …FIRE! MURDER! DROWNIN' PEOPLE! FI—!!"

"What are you doing?"

"Gettin' attention. Fires, murders, and drownin' people always get attention."

"Oh. Okay."

"FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRE! MURDER!!"

"Shout, 'I see Elvis!' That'll get attention."

"Everybody says dey've seen Elvis. Or at least 'is ghost."

"'I see Superman', then."

…

"'Rat'? Nobody likes rats. They could send an exterminator down for us."

"Yuki'd kill you if he heard dat."

"Well, Yuki ain't here. Just try one of 'em!"

"Fine. FIRE! MURDER! DROWNIN' PEOPLE! RAT!!"

The manhole cover was suddenly removed and someone called, "We'll send an exterminator right down!"

Shigure smirked, "Told ya it'd work."

Anonymous Review Reply:

laila - This is Haru. Even though you think having a broken nose and being stuck in a sewer with Shigure is funny, thanks for the review. We're glad you like it.