Disclaimer: You think I own any of this? (dies laughing)
Note, 1: This is one of my first attempts at writing the Fruits Basket characters. Please forgive me if anyone seems too out of character. Advice is always appreciated; just don't be mean or uppity about it.
Note, 2: I don't like curse words. Nor am I certain that my parents would allow me to type them. Therefore, all swearwords will be written as follows: -CENSORED-. The strongest words I'll ever type out in this fic are: dang, shoot, and crud.
Twenty-Six: Worst Day of My Life
"Momiji-kun!" Tohru wailed. "Spit it out! Spit it out!"
Kyo repeatedly slapped the rabbit-cursed on the back, yelling in agreement, "SPIT IT OUT!!"
Yuki, who'd been sitting on the couch and dully ignoring the rowdy game of Monopoly® until now, turned around and blinked upon noticing the scene before him.
"Spit it out! Ah! Please! HATORI-SAN!" cried Tohru, horrified upon seeing Momiji's face turn an unnatural purplish hue.
"SPIT IT OUT!" Kyo shouted again.
The dragon, who'd been napping peacefully for all of ten minutes after taking at least three hours to actually fall asleep, stumbled into the room and, realizing what was going on, called for Tohru and Kyo to step away. Hatori grabbed Momiji around the waist from behind and squeezed, making the half-German boy spew out a small metal piece.
Tohru, who'd been waving her arms about wildly in terror, now collapsed to the ground in relief. Lifting her face, she sighed gratefully.
"You'll be alright," announced Hatori, now fully awake again.
"Good," Kyo commented. He then masked his relief by hollering at Momiji, "What'd ya do THAT for?!"
"Do what?" Momiji wondered, half-dazedly as Hatori released him.
"PUT A MONOPOLY® PIECE IN YOUR MOUTH!!!"
"Quiet down, Kyo-kun," Hatori ordered firmly. He asked in a much quieter voice, "Momiji-kun, why did you put a Monopoly® piece in your mouth?"
The blonde began to speak, but was interrupted when the door slammed open and Haru—sporting bandages on his nose and across his knuckles and a cast on his right ankle—limped in on a pair of crutches. Shigure—left arm in a sling, face bruised and with several bandages on it, and walking stiffly with his good arm wrapped protectively around his ribs—followed.
"This is officially de worst day of my life," proclaimed the ox-cursed in all solemnity.
"Here, here," Shigure agreed, kicking the door shut loudly.
"What—no," Hatori cut himself off. He slumped decisively onto a chair next to the dining table. "I do not want to know." With a sigh, he reluctantly said a moment later, "But I suppose I have to. What happened now?"
Shigure did not hesitate in stating, "We fell down a sewer!"
"You… fell down a sewer." After echoing the bold statement, Hatori slouched further down in his chair, thereby breaking his own rule of sitting upright.
"Yeah," Haru agreed. Glancing nonchalantly at his writing cousin, he suggested, "Why don't you tell them how it happened?"
"Now, now, Haru-kun, I'm sure Hatori has better things to do than listen to that…"
Suddenly quite interested, Hatori let one hand cover his forehead as he closed his eyes and replied, "Nonsense, Shigure. I always have time to listen. Whether I like it or not." He hesitated before adding, "Whether you like it or not."
"Well…"
Realizing that this could take a while, Haru supplied carelessly, "I wasn't looking where I was going and Shigure didn't grab me before I fell through an open manhole. Then he panicked and fell down, too."
"Is this true, Shigure?" demanded Hatori, opening one eye to look at the dog-cursed.
"Well, I wasn't gonna put it quite like that, but if you want it said bluntly and tactlessly… yeah."
"Tohru-kun," Hatori began.
"Yes, Hatori-san?"
"Kindly lock away any and all pointy objects in the apartment."
"Um, of course, but… why?"
"Preservation of life and limb. Shigure's life and limb, to be specific."
"Did I mention dat, when he panicked and fell, he also happened to land on me?" Haru interjected.
…
"Tohru-kun, while you are locking up all pointy objects, please also put any and all blunt and heavy things with them," requested Hatori.
"WAH!" Momiji suddenly yelled, startling the others. "Poor Haru-chan! He was smooshed!"
"Thanks for de news flash," Haru said, carefully sitting down next to Yuki on the couch. "I wish you were dere to warn me just before it actu'lly happened."
A timid knock sounded on the door just then, and Hatori dragged himself over to answer it. He turned the knob and pulled, finding a young teenager in a white button-up shirt and brown slacks shyly standing there. It was apparently a girl, with shoulder-length hair, and Hatori seemed to know her.
"Ah. Ritsu-kun. What brings you here?"
"I-I'm sorry," murmured Ritsu, head still bowed meekly. "I just thought I'd visit while I was in the area but—I'M SORRY!" she suddenly yelled. "I HAVE INTERRUPTED YOUR PERFECT DAY BY BUTTING IN! OH, I'M SO INCONSIDERATE! I'm sorry—I'M SORRY! OH, AND I KNOCKED TOO LOUDLY! I'M SORRY FOR THAT, TOO!!"
Shigure snickered and the kids—excluding Yuki, who'd returned to his brooding—stared at Ritsu.
Hatori tiredly tried, "It's alright. You knocked just fine. Come in."
Quiet again, Ritsu flushed and entered the apartment. She began, "And now you're being so nice, too… I DON'T DESERVE TO HAVE YOU AS A COUSIN! I'M UNWORTHY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR BEING RELATED TO YOU!!!"
"Ritsu—"
As Ritsu continued screaming, Shigure muttered to himself, "I wonder…"
A moment later, Ritsu collapsed.