Disclaimer: You think I own any of this? (dies laughing)

Note, 1: This is one of my first attempts at writing the Fruits Basket characters. Please forgive me if anyone seems too out of character. Advice is always appreciated; just don't be mean or uppity about it.

Note, 2: I don't like curse words. Nor am I certain that my parents would allow me to type them. Therefore, all swearwords will be written as follows: -CENSORED-. The strongest words I'll ever type out in this fic are: dang, shoot, and crud.

Verisimilitude

Twenty-Seven: Why Not?!

Giggling gleefully, Shigure exclaimed, "It still works!" He held up his right index finger triumphantly. "The Magic Touch strikes again!"

Glaring wearily at the dog, Hatori pulled Ritsu off the floor and set the fainted teenager on the couch next to Haru.

"What happened to Ritsu-chan?" Momiji wondered, standing behind the sofa and peeking over the back.

"Shigure happened," stated Hatori.

Ritsu started to come around just then.

"A-are you alright, Ritsu-san?" Tohru stammered.

"Yes… thank you for worrying about meeee—I DON'T DESERVE YOUR CONCERN!" screamed Ritsu. Miraculously managing to regain some semblance of control, she continued, "Actually, I didn't just come for a visit, I came—I LIED!! I TOLD YOU I CAME JUST TO VISIT BUT I LIED!!! OH, I AM SCUM! NO, WAIT! I'M NOT EVEN THAT GOOD! I AM MICRO-SCUM!

"…Is there such a thing as micro-scum? OH, I'M SUCH AN IDIOT!! FORGIVE MEEEE!!!"

Hatori, just wanting peace and quiet for once in his incredibly noisy life, responded flatly, "Consider yourself forgiven."

…

"I DON'T DESERVE TO BE FORGIVEN!! OH, I'M A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE PERSON!" She whirled around and grabbed Momiji by his shirt collar, shaking him. "TERRIBLE!!!"

"Wah!" cried Momiji, arms flailing in an attempt to free himself from his TERRIBLE cousin's grasp.

Ritsu promptly released the bunny, exclaiming, "And now I'm hurting you! Oh, no! I'm a MUGGER!! No… I didn't steal anything… ACK! I'M AN ASSAILANT!!"

"Ritsu!" Hatori intervened.

"Um… hai?"

"Just tell us why you came here."

"Ah… gomen nasai." Ritsu folded her hands in her lap and explained, "Ayame-sensei wanted to speak to you about seeing Yuki."

Now everybody in the room was stuck with the task of trying to stare at Ritsu, Yuki, and Hatori simultaneously. Well, not quite everybody. Kyo and Tohru had no clue as to who Ayame was, so Kyo didn't really care and Tohru was just wondering why this was such a big deal.

The dragon was quiet, which was a nice change from the screaming Ritsu. He finally said, "Do you know why Ayame wants to see him?"

"He said that he wants to strengthen their brotherly bonds…"

"What brotherly bonds?" Hatori muttered. Sighing, he conceded, "I suppose he deserves a second chance. Yuki, do you want to meet your brother?"

Yuki's eyes flickered over to the medical student, or at least the medical student's ear. The rat refused to look directly into his eyes. Therefore, he said to the organ of hearing, "The brother I have next to no recollection of? Oh, certainly. I'll be trembling with anticipation."

Kyo took this opportunity to pipe up with, "I guess you and this Ayame guy aren't very close."

"What makes you think that? Why, we see each other every four years!" Yuki stood up and left the room, deciding that a nap seemed like a good idea.

Insert awkward silence here.

"We'll take that as a crystal clear 'yes'!" Shigure decided, suddenly and cheerfully. "Ritsu-kun, call Aya and tell him to drop by anytime! Phone's over there," he pointed to the telephone sitting on the side table next to the couch.

"Um… Hatori-san?" Ritsu looked for confirmation of the dog's order.

"Why not?" exclaimed Hatori, throwing his hands into the air. "We've got amnesiacs, perverts, split-personalities, energy balls—why not add an egomaniac?!"

Naturally, Ritsu felt the need to begin screaming again.

"I'M SORRY! I MADE YOU MAD! I don't deserve to breathe! I'M SORRY FOR BREATHING!!"

Hatori sank down into a random chair from the dining table, sighing, "Just call Ayame… please…"

"O-of course."

As Ritsu spoke with Ayame, who could be heard quite clearly by anyone within a hundred-mile radius of the Sohma apartment, Shigure took the opportunity to talk to the youngsters.

"Just ignore Ritsu when he screams," the writer began. "His shriek is worse than his shake!" he referred to the panicky incident in which Momiji had been caught.

"Whoa, hold it," Kyo cut in. The orange-top and Haru chorused, "He?"

"Yes… oh, didn't you realize? Tsk, you two can't even tell a boy from a girl! Where has your education gone!"

"Down the sewer," growled the ox.

"Oh, must you bring up that painful memory? Haru, you're so meeeeeeeeeeeeaaaan! …Wait. What am I doing?!" Shigure sang, "A-ya!" and pounced on the phone, successfully horrifying Ritsu as he did so.

"Aya!" he continued into the device, paying no heed to the shocked visitor spread-eagle on the floor. "It's been too long since we last spoke!"

Tohru, meanwhile, decided to give a little TLC to poor Ritsu, gasping, "Are you okay?"

As she tried to help Ritsu to his feet, however, there was a slight problem. This problem involved Shigure's foot knocking into the back of Tohru's head, and Tohru falling onto Ritsu. Oh. It involved one more thing:

POOF!