Take This Darkness from My Soul

A/N This story is definitely AU after the events of Providence, but my Coulson/Skye pairing continues on. I am not putting down any other pairing, I just think there's an emotional connection between these two that stems from their beliefs and backgrounds that just isn't there with the canon pairings. But, I recognize that others see that in the canon pairings and I appreciate their views as well. We can all agree that we love this show!

Chapter 5.

Skye and the others had enjoyed showers and changes of clothing. Surprisingly, Providence provided jeans and shirts in many styles and sizes so they all found something appropriate to wear. She wandered the many rooms in the secret base looking for her AC. He had very nearly broken when she had told him they were agents of nothing, and she realized how much that must have hurt him. She had silently cursed herself for having such a sarcastic mouth the minute the words had come out, and she saw his expression. She made her way into the cafeteria which, at first glance, seemed empty. Then she saw him in a corner booth, wearing clean clothes that weren't a suit, and resting his head on an elbow. He didn't see or hear her. She could tell he was miles away, inside his own head. Approaching carefully, she slid into the booth next to him. He finally stirred and gave her a small smile, his eyes still far away.

"They're going to have dinner in a while. Turns out Koenig is a pretty good cook. Are you hungry?" She asked him. He blinked and seemed to come back to the present.

"Not really." He answered softly. "But you should go eat."

Skye sighed and then spoke quickly. "God, AC, I am so sorry for that inappropriate comment about us being agents of nothing. It had to be hurtful since you've given your life to S.H.I.E.L.D. I… I've never had anything to really believe in during my life, and I am so sorry." Coulson seemed to relax a little as he looked at her with obvious affection. He shook his head.

"It's not your fault that this is all happening…." He hesitated, but then continued. "You know all my life I've been the problem solver, the guy in charge." He looked at Skye and seemed to make a decision. "I was six when my father was killed. My mom….well, she really never had the capacity to be a mom. She was raised in a very dysfunctional family, and just never had the tools to deal with her own child. My father's death broke her. She turned to drugs and alcohol to help her through it, and I was well, not a part of her survival methods. I think she pretty much resented me for forcing her to be responsible, to be a parent. So, I got passed around to other relatives for a bit, but that got to be a real inconvenience to them. I started living back with her full time when I was eleven. By then, I had something to offer her. I paid the bills, cleaned house, made sure there was food in the pantry." He smiled ruefully at the memories, and then continued.

"She and I were like ships in the night, passing each other occasionally, but never really noticing. I learned very young that what I could do for people was much more important than what I was." Skye's eyes had begun to tear at his story, but she refused to let them fall. He didn't want pity, he wanted understanding. Without a second thought, she put her arms around him and hugged him tightly even when she felt him stiffen. She needed to help him, to get through to him somehow.

"AC, you must know this. Whatever happens with S.H.I.E.L.D. or this team, I love you for what you are. Right now, I'd be okay with just going away, making new identities and being on the run for the rest of our lives. It wouldn't matter what we did as long as I was with you. What you are is kind, gentle, and honest." She smiled, "And a little hot!" He finally looked her straight in the eyes and grinned.

"Just a little?" He teased. She sat back and studied him.

"Well, before I can upgrade you, I have to see what's under the hood." She said cheekily and laughed when he turned red. "Come eat with me now?" He took her hand and they slid out of the booth and joined the others who had been gathering at some tables in the front of the cafeteria.

Eric Koenig was true to his word and had cooked a meal of baked chicken, rice pilaf, and buttered asparagus that was delicious. As they sat around the table eating and talking, Coulson was finally able to relax and even ate a small amount. It helped that Skye kept her hand under the table, discretely placed on his thigh. The physical closeness was something he was very unused to. He had grown up without any physical or verbal love, and had only experienced it in the few times he had been with a girlfriend. But, his fear of intimacy always drove them off before they could really get to know him. Skye was so different from any other woman he had been attracted to. She did not judge him when he tended to withdraw from her. Instead, she purposely came after him, not letting him get away to his safe but lonely place. She even understood why he retreated there, and could empathize with why he did it. It was hard, but he began to let himself have some hope for the future.

And as he looked around the table, he felt lucky to be in the presence of these people. Jemma was glowing as she told another funny story about Fitz from their academy days. Fitz was giving her a loving look, whether it was romantic love or not, Coulson still didn't know. May participated politely, but she was sending sad looks his way. He decided that this was something he needed to address in private with her.

"Well," Agent Triplett announced, "since I'm the new guy, I'll take K.P. duty tonight." He stood and started to collect the empty dishes as the others gave him grateful looks. Everyone started to wander toward the bedroom area of the base. Coulson pulled Skye aside.

"I've got to make something right." He said to her as he looked pointedly at May. He squeezed her hand. She nodded in understanding and gave him a brief kiss.

"I'm glad you're going to do that, AC. You've been friends too long to let it all go south."

Coulson rushed to catch up with May and Skye watched as he led her to a small sofa in the hallway. Then she walked toward the bedrooms, confident that she would see him again tonight. Hopefully!

"I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for acting like an ass, May." Coulson began as soon as they sat. He looked at her, but did not make any excuses for his actions. That was not his way. He had let her betrayal turn into much more than it was, and had refused to see her side of the issue. For that he was sorry. He wanted to try to repair things with her, but knew it was her decision. May watched his eyes, trying to read him like she always had. She didn't see any deception or falsity in them. She sighed.

"I was wrong to not see your true intentions." Coulson continued. May reached out and gently touched his face for a moment.

"And I was wrong to doubt your judgment, Phil. Whatever Fury had done to you has not changed you. At least not for the worse. You are more forgiving and kind now. At first it scared me. To think… to think that something had taken over your mind. But, now I realize that whatever they did only enhanced qualities that you already had. So, I'm sorry too. Maybe we can get past this?" She smiled tentatively at him. He felt a wave of warmth spread through him as he realized that maybe he could salvage his old friendship.

"I would like that very much." He said firmly as he looked into her eyes. And to his astonishment, May actually leaned forward and drew him into a friendly hug. For Phil Coulson, being hugged twice in one day was a true first, and he enjoyed the sentiment immensely.

The two agents drew apart and began to head down the hall toward the bedrooms. Coulson really wanted to join Skye, but all the doors were closed and he didn't know which was hers.

"I think you may want that one." May said dryly as she indicated a door. Someone had pulled the yellow sticker off the room's air conditioner and stuck it on the door. Coulson smiled as he proceeded to open the unlocked door that bore his initials.

TBC