Joy! My first reviews!

JayXNitro: I approve.

Eriphabottackson: That does sound better…I stole it. WHAHAHAHahh…X-)

Santamadre: Yes.

Guest: Moon Moon…I'm stealing that too.

As it must on a Disney movie, the King and Queen died; incidentally, in the sea to make it fast and clean. And so, we rejoin our heroines in coronation day. Elsa was forced to stand in front of the throne while the guests danced, ate and speak without making a sound, as background characters must. Anna was next to her…wild-eyed and shaking.

"…Anna, are you okay?"

"Yes, amfinewhy?" Her sister whirled around, smiling like the fucking Joker. "Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod! This's so exciting!"

"Yes…yes, it is…how much chocolate did you have?"

"Oh, Idon'tknowbutthecookwasreallymad'causehesaid…" Breathe intake "…somethingabouteatingeverythingforthepartyaAHAHHAHGAHAGAHA! I'mgonnahavehimbehaded!"

"How about you drink some wine…or you go outside…and you get lost?"

"Your Majesty. The Duke of Weaseltown."

"Your Majesty, as your closest partner in trade, it seems only fitting that I offer you your first dance as Queen…"

"SHEDOESN'TDANCE!"

Anna rushed at the Duke and dragged him to the dance floor. The poor old fart wailed for help as she flung him around like a rag doll. The Higher Powers finally had mercy on his soul and something more interesting wandered into Anna's camp of sight. Unfortunately, she released him in mid swing and the Duke was flung across the room. He slammed head-first on a wall and broke his neck…because he's a greedy annoying bastard.

Anna tackled some random hot-guy in the crowd and jumped out the window, shattering the glass. She was back before Elsa had time to relax. Her hair was a mess and there was chocolate fudge smeared all over her face. The previously addressed gigolo was still attached to her hand. There were hickeys all over his neck and lipstick on his face. His fancy suit was shredded in places but he looked quite content.

"Elsa!" Anna said, seemly terrified. "I think I'm pregnant!"

"WHAT?!"

"We just kissed so much and so hard…!"

"…Anna, you can't get pregnant by just kissing…"

"But his twelve brothers were also there!"

"My Lady…" Hans said, placing a comforting hand on Ann's hand. "If I may impregnate you…"

"Hey, no!" Elsa snapped at him. "No, you may not. And I think you should leave…You ate my CAKE, didn't you?" Anna's eyes darted about the room. She shook her head…way too fast. "Okay, that's it. The party's over. Close the gates!"

"What?! No! Elsa, come on! It's going to be open bar at midnight!" Anna wailed.

Her sister ignored her and so she slapped her sharply on the back of the head. Elsa whirled around and slapped her back. They slapped clumsily at each other for several seconds until the Princess nailed the Queen in the nose with a fist.

"OW!"

"Ups!" Anna said. She had forgotten this wasn't a fight with some dude in the street.

"Go fuck yourself, Anna…" Elsa whimpered, holding a bloody nose. Then she turned, trying to leave with the dignity she had left.

"Yes, that's what I always do, Elsa!" Anna wailed back, openly crying now. "And now that I have the chance to have an orgy you ruin it for me! Why do you have to be such a bitch?!"

"Enough, Anna…"

"No! I wanna know! What's the problem with you? Huh? What's the problem with you? Huh!? HUH!?"

"I said enough!"

Elsa whirled around and her mutant powers manifested for the first time! Ice shot from her hand, forming a barrier of spikes between her and everyone else.

"Mutant!" Anna shrieked, pointing an accusing finger at her sister. "Witch!"

The crowd glared at the stunned Elsa and some guests rushed to break the glasses of the In Case of Revolt emergency cases pinned to the walls. The-presumably- ex Queen of Arendelle rushed out of the castle with an angry mob behind, torches, tridents and all!

Hans and Anna stayed behind. He was staring in shock at her.

"What? She slapped me!"

"You slapped her first!"

"Yeah, well…don't worry. She runs fast. The mob'll get bored before they get her and then I'll go get her back!...Come on! The bar's open!"

Hans scratched his head. Maybe he should try to marry someone else…