Thanks for all your kind words about this. I know it's really... you know... hard. But thanks so much for reading and reviewing. It means a lot.
And yes Reedafur, you are exactly right.
I have been here many times before
Reed visibly relaxed at the words he needed to hear more than anything.
"Do you swear?" He had to be sure. He couldn't risk Shane finding out. It was the worst possible thing he could imagine happening.
Blaine swallowed, nodding. "I swear." He looked conflicted though, as if he wasn't sure he should be saying this. He paused. "But you have to promise me something in return."
Reed tensed. "What?" he asked, voice still sounding so small.
Blaine set his jaw, looking into Reed's eyes with intent, set on getting his message across. "If you see him again, or if what happened has bad repercussions on your health, or something bad happens to you, tell someone. Get help. Understand?"
Reed looked a little unsure, but Blaine's hard, determined expression didn't falter. "Okay." He whispered reluctantly. "I promise."
Blaine, seemingly satisfied, leaned back, content in Reed's answer. For now.
"Good. Now," he wiped his palms on his pants, trying to keep his mind from traveling back to the dark place that meant rage boiling up for whoever did this. Getting angry would help no one. He needed to tend to Reed. "Come on. If you're not going to let me take you to the hospital wing, at least let me try to fix you up."
"I don't need fixing up." Reed said, voice strained and hoarse. All the crying really took its toll. But it seemed for now that he had calmed down. Fat tears were still rolling down his cheeks but he was no longer choking for breath and sobbing loudly.
"Yes. You do." Blaine said with finality. He stood and extended an arm.
Reed just stared at the hand like he didn't know what it was.
"Reed, come on."
He shook his head, glancing up at Blaine with wide eyes that were beginning to fill back up. Blaine pursed his lips. Just when he thought Reed was going to calm down…
"Reed, please get up," he urged, wishing the other boy would comply so he could put something on the gash on his hip that was still bleeding.
Reed's lips started to quiver as he continued to stare up at Blaine pleadingly, his large eyes silently begging him to understand. When he only continued to peer down at him expectantly, Reed knew he would have to say it.
"I... I don't want to stand up," he confessed, hanging his head to look at the floor.
Blaine's brows furrowed in confusion. "What are you talking about? Why not?"
Reed kept his gaze locked on the carpet, not daring to glance back up when he mumbled, "Hurts too much."
Standing for first time after the incident was brutal, but now that he'd stupidly decided to run back to Windsor, and dealing with two different sets of stairs... That had only done more damage. And Reed could feel the burning even as he sat on his knees.
Blaine's expression went stoic. He immediately understood. The anger and anguish were battling again, both because he honestly had no idea how anyone could ever hurt Reed. And especially in this way. He took a calming breath.
"I know it hurts. But would you rather sit here and have to explain to Kurt and Shane," Blaine doesn't miss how Reed flinches at his brother's name. "why you're battered and bloody?" He wouldn't actually oppose to this. In his opinion, Shane needed to be told. But it was Reed's decision. And if he didn't want to tell him, he shouldn't be forced.
Reed nodded to himself. He knew Blaine was right. He had to stand up eventually. But he knew it would hurt so badly. And the pain that radiated from that one certain area would be the constant reminder that what happened wasn't just a dream. There were other places on his body that throbbed as well, but this was by far the worst.
"Alright," he whispered, finally reaching up and taking Blaine's hand.
The taller boy immediately leaned forward to grab onto Reed's other arm as well, keeping him balanced and giving him support as he lifted him off the ground slowly. He could see Reed's eyes swimming with fresh tears before they were forced shut, whole face scrunching up to display the pain he felt.
He could only imagine how Reed was feeling. He was sure it would hurt anyone, but someone Reed's weight and size… and then being forced in such a merciless way. He had to clench his jaw, forcing those thoughts out of his head to keep the anger at bay.
"Are you alright?" he asked in concern once they were both standing up straight.
Reed only nodded in response, keeping his eyes closed.
"Come on," Blaine said, dropping one of Reed's hands and guiding him to the bathroom. He didn't mind Reed's slow pace, only putting an arm around him to help support his wobbling.
When they finally entered the room, Blaine let go, allowing Reed to lean against the counter while he searched through the cabinet. He knew Reed kept a medical kit in his and Kurt's bathroom for reasons that should have been obvious.
He finally found it, pulling it out and laying it on the sink. He turned back to Reed, who had his arms across his chest, appearing to be very uncomfortable standing there without a shirt on. Blaine could understand why.
"Can," Reed begins, but his voice cracks. "Can I take a shower or something first. I feel…"
Blaine doesn't need him to say it. He knows Reed feels disgusting. He just wished he would realize it wasn't his fault.
"Yeah, that's fine." He figures getting the bandages wet as soon as he puts them on wouldn't be such a good idea anyway. Plus he didn't want Reed to feel uncomfortable anymore. Not that this would change much… "Do you want to take a shower or a bath?"
He couldn't imagine Reed standing long enough to actually get anything done. So it surprises him when Reed answers, "Shower."
"Really?"
"Yeah." Reed looks at the ground, feeling so very embarrassed for having to tell Blaine all of this. "I don't think I could stand lying on my back for too long." He leaves out how he also doesn't think he could take sitting on the hard marble glass of the bath tub either, but somehow he thinks Blaine gets it.
"Oh." He says simply once he realizes. "Yeah. Okay. I'll just go get your pajamas then."
He leaves the bathroom, going straight to Reed's closet and searching through until he found the silky light blue pajamas Reed was always so fond of. They were too long for him and that was perfect. He knew Reed would only want to wear loose fitting clothing due to all the injuries he sustained.
After grabbing a pair of boxers he spotted something on the floor. Right in front of Reed's bed where he left it lie his white undershirt, the back and right of corner of which was still stained red with blood. He picked it up, not knowing what Reed would want to do with it, and carrying it along.
When he reentered the bathroom he wasn't very surprised to see Reed standing there in the exact same spot, appearing to have not even moved an inch. He knew Reed wouldn't even begin to undress when he knew Blaine would be coming back in the room.
"Here," he laid the pajamas on the counter before turning to hand Reed the blood stained shirt. "I didn't know what you wanted to do with this." He said awkwardly as he handed it over.
Reed looked at the shirt with disdain, letting it barely hang off his fingertips. He stayed silent for so long, just staring at the piece of clothing that Blaine started to shuffle his feet nervously. He opened his mouth to say something anything to break the silence but Reed's small voice cut him short.
"Can you please leave now?"
"Oh. Yes. Of course." Blaine walked to door. His hand was on the knob when he turned back to look at Reed who was still staring at the shirt. "I'll be right outside waiting so just call if you need something." He hesitated. "And Reed." The brown eyes finally blinked up at him and Blaine could tell the swollen red patch on his cheek was beginning to bruise too. "I'm sorry. This shouldn't have happened to anyone, especially you. You don't deserve it."
He disappeared, shutting the door securely behind him. He didn't want to see Reed's reaction to that; he didn't want to see him cry again.
Reed just stood there, feeling his burning eyes begin to water again.
Gosh, he thought irritably, how many times can a person cry in one day?
He limped to the door, locking it immediately. It wasn't that he thought Blaine would actually come in, but he wasn't going to chance it. As long as he could help it, no one was going to be seeing him undress for a very long time.
He avoided the mirror, instead looking to his feet as his hands began shaking again when they reached down to pull the belt out of the few loops he had actually managed to get it through. He threw it the floor, not wanting to touch it any longer than necessary. He knew what came next. He had to push every thought he had about the last time he felt tugging on his pants completely out of his head and remind himself that it was only him in the bathroom. No one was here. No one was going to hurt him. He was alone. Completely alone. And even though that realization sort of stung, knowing he had to go through this all by himself, he allowed it comfort him just so he could finish undressing.
He pretended not to notice the deep crimson stains that were visible on his underclothes that were in such a position they couldn't have come from the gash on his hip. He closed his eyes, still clutching the trousers and underwear. He had to force those thoughts from his head. He couldn't dwell on things like this. He knew it had to be really bad if he was hurt enough to actually bleed, but he wouldn't let himself think about it. Thinking about it only meant reliving it.
Slowly opening his eyes, the clothes slipped from his hands and to the floor the second he caught a glimpse of his image in the mirror. The word awful didn't quite do justice to how he looked. Broken seemed a better fit as his whole face was blotchy complete with the red shot eyes. There were trails of snot and tears streaking his skin from all the crying he did. He could see the small line of scarlet that dripped down his neck, instantly reminding him of
Don't pretend like you didn't like it
The tears immediately sprung back to his eyes.
You could have easily escaped… if you wanted to
He had to bite down harshly on his lower lip to keep the whimpers in. After all, he didn't need Blaine worrying or asking questions. But then
If you tell anyone, I will not hesitate to kill you
Releasing his lip, he slapped his hands over his mouth to conceal the sobs that were slipping passed. He could feel his chest heaving painfully, the redness on his stomach causing definite bruising, but he could do nothing to stop it. It hurt so much. Not just his beaten body, but everything. The act was bad enough, but why did he have to keep remembering? Wasn't once enough?
He quickly grabbed a tissue, scrubbing the blood off his neck, barely even registering the stinging on his throat this caused.
He turned away from the mirror then, no longer wanting to see the shell of a person staring back that was supposed to be him, and turning on the water. He knew he probably shouldn't make the water so hot for his injuries, but he wanted every trace of him off his skin. And maybe if he was lucky, the water would be hot enough to peel his skin off completely so he would never have to feel the ghosts of his touches that still lingered, the feeling of the fingernails scratching at his skin.
He hands idly slid down to graze the swollen lines on his hips that had been hidden by his pants, too low for Blaine to have seen. He could still feel those long fingers gripping onto his hips tightly before sending long scratch marks over them.
His hands jerked back.
Stop thinking about it stop thinking about it stop thinking about it
He drew in a broken breath, trying to erase all the images from his mind.
The water was scalding when he finally stepped in, but that's exactly how he wanted it to be. It stung and pricked at the welts on his back and wrists, but he sucked it up. He had to get the scent, the feel off.
Blaine was right to be concerned. It did hurt standing like this, but he just knew sitting down would hurt even worse. He bite his lip again, letting the water soak through his hair, completely drenching his face and washing all the tears away, and tried to forget about the pain. He just hoped the bleeding stopped soon… What was he supposed to do if it didn't? How would he be expected to explain that without giving it away.
Stop thinking about it stop thinking about it stop thinking it
He had to chant to himself again before he reached out for the shampoo.
Blaine's teeth were chattering from where he waited on Reed's bed. After he packed up all the sewing material and put the box back under his bed, folding the blazer and laying it on the blanket, still lacking buttons (Blaine had no idea how to sew), he didn't have anything else to do.
He teeth were clattering from the force to keep it all bottled inside. If he acted on all the rage and affliction he felt it would only do more harm than good. And he knew Reed needed him to be strong. He would probably blame himself even further if he saw Blaine becoming so riled up over this.
But how could he not be? Someone had just raped one of his best friends. If he'd been beaten up that'd be one thing. It'd still be horrible and infuriating, but it would be different. This was so much worse. This was someone, some stranger, forcing their way onto him, solely with the purpose of causing pain, mental, physical, and emotional.
He rubbed his hands over his legs nervously, wondering how in world he planned on helping Reed as much as possible while also keeping it hidden from everyone else. He knew they shouldn't though. They should tell someone, especially Shane. But Reed didn't want to. And Blaine wasn't about to force him to do something else against his will.
But still, he couldn't help but inwardly cringe as he listened to the falling water from the shower. He knew that as soon as Reed washed away any evidence or DNA the chances of finding out who did this went down the drain with it. But what could he do? He very well couldn't drag Reed, kicking and screaming to the hospital wing or police station. This had to be his decision. And he knew if this had happened to him he'd want to get clean as soon as possible too.
His hands were shaking with the effort to keep it all concealed. He had to remain composed and placid. For Reed's sake.
Reed's hands were shaking as well. The burning water was making his injuries throb even harder. He couldn't even scrub his skin too roughly.
When the dizziness came after rinsing his hair free of conditioner, he knew he had to sit down. He was beginning to feel the churning nauseating feeling twisting in his stomach again.
Shutting off the water, he grabbed the white fluffy towel from the hanger, wrapping it tightly around his sore body as he stepped out. Patting his skin lightly, he attempted to dry off and get dressed. He only made it as far as putting on the small the black boxers he was embarrassed to realize Blaine had seen before the nausea took a deadly turn to full on sickness.
He barely made it to the sink before the bile was rushing through his throat, spewing from his lips with gasps and wheezes. He retched into the sink, throat burning from the acid as the contents of his stomach were forced out.
Blaine could hear the gags and heaving through the door and his face scrunched up in concern.
"Reed?" he called out softly, tapping on the door. "Are you alright?"
He hoped Reed regurgitating didn't have anything to do with a side effect of any injuries. Somewhere tugging on the back of mind was that annoying reminder that Reed needed a doctor.
"Yes," came the weak voice a couple of seconds after Blaine asked the question. He could hear the water running again and he assumed Reed must be brushing his teeth.
"Are you sure?" He was unable to keep the worry out of his voice. Reed was in there hurting and he was the only person who knew why. It made him feel immensely guilty.
Reed looked in the mirror in disgust after brushing his teeth. His eyes were still red and swollen but at least his face was clean. He could now clearly see the puffy patch on his cheek that was beginning to color. Great. How was he supposed to hide that? At least the cut on his neck was so small it wasn't even noticeable with all the blood wiped off.
He turned away, no longer wanting to see his unrecognizable reflection, instead putting on his pajama top. When it came time for the pants he hesitated. Pulling them on would probably hurt just as badly as taking the other pair off.
He eyes then drifted to where his brown uniform khakis lay on the floor right where he dropped them earlier, the scarlet stains still clearly discernible.
His head jerked away, looking instead to his silky pajama bottoms. He grabbed them, stuffing his feet through and tugging them up as quickly as possible, ignoring the new wave of pain that set his whole backside on fire.
But he crossed the room to where the clothing lay, snatching it up without another look at the bloody pants or shirt and stuffed them into the garbage can. He didn't care if they were school issued. There was no way he was keeping them. As an afterthought he dropped the leather belt in the trash as well.
After waiting for over a minute with no answer Blaine was starting to get worried.
"Uh, Reed? Please say something."
The door opened then, revealing the smaller boy fully dressed in his blue sleepwear, hair still dripping wet. He appeared fine… physically. But Blaine could see the void look in his eyes, like the spark of life had been drawn from him, his face completely blank.
"What?" his voice matched his expression. Empty.
"Can I come in now?" he tried not to show his nervousness. He was so terrified he'd say the wrong thing and it would send the other boy into a crying fit. "We might want to get the bandages on before Kurt comes back. He should be here anytime now."
Reed's eyes widened slightly. He'd forgotten about Kurt.
"Okay," he whispered, stopping short when he noticed something peculiar in Blaine's hand. "Why are you holding a pillow?"
Blaine looked to the blue pillow he had taken off Reed's bed. It had been an act of thinking ahead. "Because, if you're going to be on the counter while I try to bandage you I figured you could use something to sit on." He shrugged, still staring at the pillow. He didn't want to see Reed's reaction. He knew this was extremely embarrassing for him.
"Oh." Reed said quietly and Blaine could hear the shame in his voice. "Right. Well thanks."
This made him even more aware of the burning pain he was trying so very hard to ignore. He looked at floor, crossing his arms over his chest in discomfort as Blaine laid the pillow on the counter. He then looked back at the smaller boy, patting the cushion in a welcoming gesture.
Reed walked over slowly, staring the counter with confliction in his eyes.
Blaine could see the problem. It would probably hurt to climb up.
He wasn't about to make Reed go through that. So he did the only solution he could think of. He grabbed Reed by the sides, carefully minding his back, and lifted him up, sitting him down as gently as he could. Despite that he still saw the pained look flash across the other boy's face.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, trying to keep calm when the anger flared back. He hated whoever did this with every being of his soul, whoever hurt Reed so bad he couldn't even sit down.
Reed just nodded, keeping his head down. This was all so humiliating. But at least Blaine was thoughtful enough to bring him something to sit on. Sitting on pillow was painful enough, he couldn't imagine sitting on the hard marble of the counter.
He kept staring at his lap as he heard Blaine opening the medical kit that had been left by the sink.
"Hand me your wrists," Blaine commanded softly, trying to keep his voice light and easy.
Reed held out his hand, suddenly noticing how damaged it looked when Blaine pushed his sleeves up to reveal his blistered wrist. He never really noticed much before, what with all the tears in his eyes.
There was a cooling sensation breezing over the raw skin as Blaine put medicine on as gingerly as possible. He wrapped a white bandage over the affected area before grabbing hold of Reed's other hand to do the same.
Reed sat, staring at the floor, trying to think about anything except what Blaine was thinking about him. He was also working hard at keeping it out of his mind. He couldn't think about that, especially now. What would Blaine say if he started to break down in front of him again?
He was lost so deep in thoughts of keeping his head clear he didn't notice Blaine had finished wrapping up his left wrist and was now moving on the his hip.
He didn't snap out of it until he felt the tugging on his shirt, Blaine's hands lifting it up. He screamed out, trying to back away and swatting at the hand, terror creeping back into his system.
"Reed!" Blaine said stunned and stepping back. "It's just me! I'm not going to hurt you I swear."
Reed blinked up at him, screaming stopping instantly. He swallowed, looking scared and disoriented. "I-I'm sorry."
Blaine shook his head. "Don't be. It's my fault." He took a tentative step forward, reaching back out. "I'm going to look at your hip now, okay?"
Reed nodded, choking back more annoying tears. He didn't want to cry in front of Blaine again. He had already freaked out a countless number of times.
Blaine didn't seem to mind though. He bandaged Reed's hip with a blank face, relieved to see the bleeding had stopped. He still had to put something over it though. Thankfully it wasn't deep enough to require stiches but it did need the proper protection.
After he finished, he stepped back awkwardly. Reed was picking at the bandages on his wrists, looking completely vacant.
"You know," he finally spoke, barely even audible. "It looks like I slit my wrists." His eyes were much like his voice, completely lacking emotion.
This caused worry to flutter down through Blaine's stomach. Why would he say something like that, and so nonchalantly? He discreetly leaned forward, trying to look into Reed's downcast eyes.
"Why would you say that?" When he received no answer, he continued, trying to keep his voice level and push all the awkwardness out of the sentence he was about to say. "Look um, about that. Reed I know that when something like this happens, a lot people will turn to uh… drastic measures and um…"
Reed was looking up at him now, disbelief plastered all over his face. "Blaine," he interrupted the other's stammering, "You can stop. I'm not going to hurt myself. I do that enough already."
Blaine nodded, feeling a little relieved. He didn't know how much he could rely on Reed's words when he was like this but he hoped he meant what he said. If Reed was suicidal then it didn't matter how much he begged him not to, he would have to tell somebody.
But at least for now it seemed as though that wasn't the case. He sincerely hoped it never would be.
He shook the thoughts away, he had to focus on fixing Reed's injuries. They were pressed for time after all, but at least there was only one thing left to do.
"Come on," he held out his hand for Reed to take. "I'll help you down."
Reed clasped onto the outstretched hand, Blaine immediately offering his other as well, as he helped lift the small boy off the counter. His tears became heavier at the action but remained in his eyes, unshed. Blaine felt a sharp pang of guilt.
Once Reed was safely on the ground, Blaine had to swallow his nerves down. He didn't want to ask Reed to undress again, but he didn't see a way around it.
"Um," he began, trying to keep his voice steady. "Can you please take your shirt off, turn around, and lean against the counter."
Reed's eyes widened with panic. He could freshly remember the last time he was forced to lean against something with his shirt off. He could still feel the breath being knocked from his lungs, his hips being gripped and scratched, the pain, as if it were happening all over again…
Blaine's eyebrows drew in as worry began to settle in his stomach. Reed was staring out into nothing, face frozen in horror. He was confused. All he wanted to do was put medicine on his back. When the tears finally spilled over, dripping down his cheeks, Blaine knew he had to snap Reed out of it.
"Reed?" He called, receiving nothing. "Reed!" He walked over to him, putting his hands on his shoulders and shaking him without much force.
This caused him to snap out of it. He came to, screaming and hitting his attacker as hard as could.
"Get off of me! Let me go!"
Blaine stumbled back, rubbing the place on his jaw where Reed had landed a punch, completely shocked.
"Reed! It's just me! Blaine!"
He watched as Reed's eyes popped open, staring at Blaine in a shocked daze.
"W-what just happened?" he asked, voice small and shaky.
"I don't know," Blaine answered, but he didn't like it. He didn't want that to be happening again. But why did it happen? All he did was ask Reed to… It clicked then. That must have been how it happened, with Reed leaning over something. His muscles tightened.
Stay calm. Stay calm. He reminded himself. This is no time for him to see you get angry.
"Reed," he said sighing, dreading what he was about to say. "We have to get you help."
The brown eyes widened again and Blaine could see betrayal amongst the panic. It made his throat tighten.
"What? No!" he shouted frantically. "I don't need help Blaine I'm fine!"
Blaine's voice hardened. "Reed, you're a lot of things right now but fine is not once of them." Reed closed his mouth, staring at the floor, unable to retaliate. Blaine continued. "I don't know much about this." The crime TV shows he did see weren't exactly helpful with dealing with the victim, only catching the perpetrator. "You need someone who does."
"No I don't." Reed said keeping his eyes locked on the floor, no emotion in his voice.
"Yes you do!" Blaine wished he could make him see that. "What if that happens again when we're around other people? When you're with Shane?"
Reed looked up then, a determined look upon his face. "It won't." He said simply, completely intent on keeping in control from now on.
Blaine sighed. "You don't know that. It doesn't seem like you can control them." He sighed again when Reed's set expression didn't change. "I'm worried about you too you know." This made him blink in surprise. "And not just emotionally. You think I don't notice the look you get every time you have to move? Reed you can't even sit down. What if something's… wrong?"
Reed's expression stoned. "Nothing is wrong." His voice was uneven and he knew he wasn't making a good case for himself. He didn't dare tell Blaine about the blood. He would definitely force him to get help then. But as far as he was concerned that wasn't very important. The bleeding would stop eventually.
"But you don't know that! You can barely walk!" His distressed yelling stopped as soon they heard a door slam shut.
They both started at the bathroom door, Blaine in shock, Reed in horror.
"Reed?" a voice called out, emanating from the bedroom. Reed relaxed somewhat, relief washing over him in spades. That high pitched countertenor could only belong to Kurt. He didn't exactly want to face Kurt right now but at least it wasn't Shane. He wasn't sure how he'd ever be able to look him in the eye again knowing what he had done.
Blaine held a finger up to his lips, signaling for Reed to remain quiet. He had nothing to worry about though, Reed could barely even move.
"I don't see him anywhere." Kurt's voice continued, obviously talking to someone.
The panic returned. What if Shane was out there with him? But when there was no accompanying voice and Kurt was answering an unheard question, Reed figured he was on the phone.
"I have no idea. Did you check every room in the art building?"
Reed froze. He didn't want to think about that building and the horrors it held. He tried not to think about it, not to remember…
Blaine's hand waving in front of his face brought him out of it, making him focus. He was soon talking. "I'll go out. Do you want me to lie and say you're not in here?"
Reed shook his head. He knew he'd never forgive himself for putting Blaine through all this. And he wasn't about to make him lie any more than necessary.
"No. I'll come out."
Blaine nodded once before going to the door, opening it and walking through first. Kurt immediately turned to him, phone pressed to his ear.
"I'm really worried about him, it's already dark out –" He stopped the sentence as soon as he saw Blaine emerging from the bathroom. "Your brother's here. I'll see if he knows." He lowered the phone for a moment, only feeling slightly confused as to why Blaine had been in his and Reed's bathroom.
His confusion expanded drastically as Reed came out as well, carrying a pillow from his bed and trying very hard to hide his limping.
Kurt's eyebrows rose about half way to his hair line. He brought the phone to his ear again, only muttering a couple words before hanging up. "He's here. I have to go." He kept one brow up as he looked at them curiously.
Reed knew what he had to be thinking. After all it didn't look very good did it? Your boyfriend coming out of your bathroom with your roommate in tow? Too top it all off they had a pillow. He could tell Blaine was dumbfounded, completely at a loss for words.
Reed spoke up, knowing Blaine didn't have any idea what to say. "I'm sick. I came back here and Blaine found me. He's been taking care of me since." His voice was shaky but he knew Kurt would believe him. He looked like hell, even after a shower. "But I'm really tired, so could you please tell Shane to just go on to his room and leave me. I just want to go to sleep." And never wake up. He wanted to get lost in a world where everything was fine again, where he could be happy and not afraid, where bad things like this just didn't happen.
Kurt was now looking at him concerned. "Are you sure?"
Blaine was staring at him as well, wondering just how long he planned on keeping Shane out of this.
"Yes," Reed whispered, looking at his bed longingly. "I'll see him tomorrow anyways." That realization sent nerves twisting up his stomach. After what happened he didn't want to see Shane at all, but at the same time he was the only person he wanted. He wanted to be wrapped in those strong arms and rocked and comforted until everything was better. But he also didn't want Shane to touch him. It was all so confusing.
He couldn't even imagine talking to Shane right now. All he wanted to do was sleep.
"Well okay," Kurt said, still looking a little unsure. "I'll tell him. Do you want me to get you some medicine while I'm gone?"
Reed shook his head. "No. I'll be fine."
Blaine was looking him over, trying to decipher how true those words were.
"Alright, I'll be back." Kurt halted with his hand on the doorknob. "Coming Blaine?"
Blaine looked him, trying his best to fake a believable smile. "In a second."
Kurt smiled back, no longer suspecting anything, and opened the door, shutting it gently behind him. Blaine's smile fell and he immediately turned back to Reed.
"Are you sure you'll be okay? Should I like uh," he stumbled over his words, not quite sure how to put it. "stay here with Kurt tonight to keep an eye on you or something?"
Reed glanced up at him, eyebrow quirked. "Don't be silly." He sighed. "Look, I'm going to be fine. I just need to sleep it off."
Blaine doubted that very seriously. He knew Reed needed a lot more than just sleep. But he could see how tired his eyes were, the eyes that still held some degree of terror in them. So he agreed. He reached over, turning down Reed's covers.
"Come on." He lifted him up again, placing him gingerly on the bed. "Do you want to skip class tomorrow? I don't expect you to go. And since you already mentioned feeling sick I don't think anyone else would either."
Reed shook his head, pushing his legs under the blankets and flinching at the pain this brought. "I'm supposed to continue on like nothing happened. How can I do that if I stop living my life?"
Blaine wanted to ask him just how he planned on carrying on like nothing happened. Did he really just expect to get over this as though it wasn't a very big deal? This wasn't just someone hurting his feelings, or an injury he could easily recover from. This would take time to heal, and once it did Reed would always be carrying the scar. There was just no easy way to forget.
He wanted to tell Reed all of that, make him understand the severity, maybe convince him he needed help, but he didn't. He had been through more than enough today and the boy looked so positively drained. He knew he should let him rest.
He had no way of knowing that he would receive very little, that Reed would be lying awake most the night, scared and hurting, crying himself to sleep.
Blaine himself was also unable to fall asleep as his brother seemed incapable of shutting the heck up. Blaine knew sharing a room with him was a mistake.
"Well what did he say? Was he okay when you left? How badly was he hurting? What was hurting? Was it his stomach? His head?" Shane rambled on, barely even taking a pause between each question. "How sick was he? Did he throw up? Did you give him medicine? Are you sure he's fine? Will he be in school tomorrow? Are you sure I can't see him? What if he wants to see me? If he's sick I should be there taking care of him! Are you even listening to me Blaine?"
Blaine groaned from where he was hiding beneath his pillow, attempting to block out Shane's inane questions. "Shane!" he threw the pillow off so he could be heard, "For the last time he's fine! He just wasn't feeling well. He just needs to sleep it off, he'll be back to normal tomorrow."
Blaine was lying through his teeth and he knew it. There no way Reed would be back to normal anytime soon, and certainly not tomorrow. He wasn't even sure if normal was a proper word. Reed would never be the same after this.
He wanted to tell Shane the truth so bad the words were beginning to bubble up in his throat, just dying to be spoken.
He could imagine it, sitting up and staring at his brother who sat cross legged and wide eyed a few feet away on his bed. He pictured himself swallowing, looking at Shane nervously before finally blurting out the truth. Reed wasn't sick, he was raped. And by some guy he didn't even know. And he was hurting, he was hurting everywhere. And there was nothing they could do to make him feel better. And that Reed didn't even want Shane to know. That he was scared…
He could see Shane's expression to this, an accurate cross between horror, fury, and despair. He knew what would happen then. Shane would jump off his bed, racing across the hall and into Reed's room, demanding to know if it was true. He could also see Reed, looking so hurt and betrayed.
He finally snapped out of, feeling the words die in his throat. He couldn't tell Shane even if he wanted to. He couldn't take betraying Reed like that, and even though hiding something so critical from his brother was bad, seeing him break down over something Reed needed to tell him himself would be worse.
He looked over to him, seeing Shane chewing on his lip and looking so worried all because he thought Reed was sick. What would he do if he knew the truth?
Blaine stood up, striding across the room to turn the light off, leaving them in darkness. At least he couldn't see Shane's face anymore and feel the guilt that accompanied it.
He climbed back into bed, staring blankly into the black surrounding him. When he woke up this morning it had been just a normal day, and it stayed that way until sometime after classes ended when Kurt sent him upstairs to see if Reed had returned. The second he saw Reed sitting there, looking so scared and broken, everything changed. It had been a downward spiral since then and now the happy morning that wasn't even twenty four hours ago seemed days away. So much had changed, and would remain that way.
He could feel his eyes prickling.
"Shane," he whispered after he heard his brother settle in his covers.
"Yeah?"
He cleared his throat, trying not to sound of the verge of tears. "You're a really great boyfriend. I'm glad Reed has you."
Shane blinked, taken completely by surprise. "Wow. Thanks I guess. That's the first time you've said something about me dating Reed that didn't have to deal with me calming down and stop being so stalkerish."
Blaine pursed his lips. "Yeah well, I just thought you should know." He said the next four words so quietly he doubted Shane could even hear him. "No matter what happens…"
It had to be well past two in the morning when the black abbess of unconsciousness finally lulled Reed to sleep. His eyes were stinging so badly he could hardly keep them open, but even when they closed sleep just would not come. His body was so tired but he brain wouldn't shut up. He was awake and aware, doing his best to keep his head clear, to force it from worming its way back in his mind.
He tried to stifle the cries that were slipping passed his lips by smothering them into his pillow, the fabric of which was soaked wet by his tears. He didn't need Kurt hearing him and making a big deal over it. It came as a relief when Kurt remained in his bed, snoozing away, oblivious to the boy only a couple of feet away hurting and sobbing.
He jerked up, blinking a bit in surprise when the door opened slowly, creaking as it did. His hands started shaking and a deep hallow feeling settled into his stomach when he realized someone was walking in. The feeling of terror only intensified when he realized this person had a crop of unruly black curls atop his head.
Oh god, what is he doing here?
Shane stepped forward, smiling sweetly from where he was mostly hidden in the darkness of the room.
Reed bit onto his lip, cowering underneath the covers, only eyes and fluffy hair visible. He lowered the blanket only enough to speak in a quivering voice, "Why are you here?"
His eyes grew wide when Shane finally stepped into the strip of moonlight that shone from the open blinds of the window. He wasn't smiling sweetly at all. There was an evil gleam in his eye and a devious smirk across his face. His expression sent a cold chill rocketing through Reed's system and his body started shaking with new found intensity.
"Why –why are you looking at me like that?" he found himself asking even though he had no intention of speaking the words.
He didn't answer only stepped forward slowly, and Reed should have realized that something was terribly wrong when not seconds later Shane was standing in front of his bed, peering down at him with such a look it made Reed want to hide underneath his blankets completely.
Not another word was exchanged when suddenly there was a force on Reed's chest making the breath leave his lungs in a painful instant. It took a second for him to realize where the weight had come from.
"Shane!" he squealed, horror flooding his senses. "What are you doing!"
He kicked his trapped legs weakly, trying to fight against the body that was on top of him, pinning him down. Shane's fingers were wrapped around his forearms, holding them in place and making it impossible to fight him off. He was straddling Reed's middle in such a way that his kicking was doing absolutely nothing.
He screamed, Shane's horrifying face blurring thanks to the tears that were starting to overflow. Why was this happening again? And why Shane? Why was Shane of all people doing this to him? Why Shane?
"Why are you doing this to me?" he sobbed, completely terrified. He never thought Shane would ever try to hurt him like this.
Another scream tore through his throat bringing back all the previous rawness when his arm was released and Shane's hand drifted down, instead opting to tug Reed's shirt up. He kept kicking and screaming, his throat returning to its original soreness, as the tears poured from his eyes.
Kurt jolted up in surprise, instantly awake. He jumped out of his bed and dashed across the room, going straight to the bed of the boy who was screaming in his sleep, kicking and flinging his arms at an unseen predator.
"Reed!" he cried, dodging a few misguided swings. "Reed, wake up!"
He tried to grab onto the smaller boy's shoulders, but he was jerking around so much he could have very well been having a seizure. Kurt knew that wasn't the case as Reed's screams had not stopped and were remaining just as loud. It was obviously a nightmare, but Kurt couldn't help but wonder what the hell kind of dream had Reed acting like this.
"Reed, you have to wake up!" He was finally able to get a firm hold of the shoulders and started shaking, but this only caused the screams to get louder and his kicking to increase in velocity. "Reed!"
The door crashed open and Kurt wasn't surprised to see Blaine and Shane rushing in, the twins and Wes and David following. Dwight inched into the room, holding a spray bottle and a rosary, completely prepared to do an exorcism if necessary. Reed was screaming so loudly Kurt figured quite a few people were being woken.
"What the hell is going on in here?" David demanded, stepping into the room with Wes in tow.
Shane instantly raced forward when he realized what was happening, rushing to Reed's side and sitting on the bed.
Blaine stood frozen, not having any idea what to do. He had a good idea of what this was about, and knew he'd have to keep his mouth shut to keep Reed's secret hidden. He swallowed the nervousness away. If Reed was having nightmares about this…
He wanted to them all so badly but the memory of the look of betrayal in Reed's eyes made him keep quiet.
"Reed?" Shane's voiced was laced with worry. "Wake up okay?" He shook him lightly, not at all in the harsh way Kurt was doing before.
The smaller boy started thrashing from side to side, trying to get out of the invisible grip that was holding him down. His feet were still kicking and the screams had not stopped for even a second. Other boys were beginning to litter out in the hall, grumbling to themselves and wondering what in the world was going on.
The twins' expressions were completely lacking their usually mischief, instead set in a curious quirked eyebrow, both looking down at Reed from the foot of the bed, Wes and David beside them. Dwight had barely moved from the door, completely convinced Reed was getting possessed.
"Reed!" Shane gave a single powerful shake, not knowing what else to do. He was completely terrified. He hadn't seen Reed in hours and now he was here, watching the person he loved have a night terror so intense he had once doubted they even existed outside of movies.
Finally Reed's eyes sprang open and he jumped back, fists sill flying as one connected with Shane's jaw painfully. His screams died in his throat, and he scooted back to the other side of his bed, cowering behind his blankets and shaking. The dancer reeled, hand on the sore spot on his cheek, completely shocked.
Reed could see the watering images of his friends all standing around his bed, staring at him in varying expressions of shock and concern. He could see Shane's eyes. They no longer looked evil or menacing, only scared and worried as he rubbed his jaw. Reed instantly felt guilty, realizing the Shane from his dream wasn't Shane at all.
He couldn't apologize though. He was still shaking and panting heavily and he could feel the wetness on his cheeks that announced the arrival of even more tears.
"Are you alright?" Shane finally found his voice, lowering his hand and staring at the boy whose sweat was making his curls stick to his forehead. He looked so downright terrified it scared the taller boy immensely.
Reed finally nodded before ducking his head underneath the covers, hiding behind them and speaking a small voice. "I'm fine. Now go away."
Everyone collectively looked at each other in shock. Reed had just had the most intense nightmare anyone of them had ever witnessed and he said he was fine?
Kurt spoke up this time, stepping forward slightly. "Reed you were screaming so loudly it woke everyone up."
The blankets were shaking as Reed continued to hide beneath them. "I said go away!" He voice was much harsher this time and everyone could immediately tell he was serious. The twins gave each other one unreadable look before they left, intent on badgering Reed about this tomorrow when he didn't look so scared. Wes and David followed, thinking the exact same thing. Dwight scurried after them, still not fully convinced Reed was actually Reed.
That left Kurt, who wouldn't leave even if he could, it was his room after all; Blaine who stood there nervously fidgeting; and Shane who wasn't about to leave Reed's side when he just freaked out like this.
"Reed?" he asked softly, reaching out to touch the form beneath the blankets. Reed only jumped at the contact as though it physically hurt. "Do you want to tell me what that was about?" He didn't remove his hand, only started rubbing his side comfortingly. He could see the movement under the covers that meant Reed was shaking his head.
Blaine was worrying his lip, trying to keep his hands from twisting together. His nervous habits went unnoticed by Kurt, who stood next to him completely fixed on Reed's small form, eyebrow raised and arms across his chest. He was worried, but also a bit irritated. Reed had just woken everyone up at four in the morning with his screams and now he refused to talk about it.
Shane kept rubbing his boyfriend's side, trying to help him feel better. "Are you sure? That was quite the nightmare." He tried to keep his voice light, to hide the terror he felt.
Reed's small voice was soon being muffled by the blankets again. "Please. Just go away."
He sounded so pleadingly he was almost begging, and Shane chewed on his lip, torn. He didn't want to leave Reed alone after what just happened but he could also tell that's all Reed wanted.
"Come on," Blaine finally spoke up, tugging on his brother's arm.
Shane looked between them, unsure. He didn't want to go, but Reed so clearly wanted him gone. He decided that Kurt would be here in anything else happened and that thought comforted him a little. He finally nodded reluctantly. "Alright." He patted Reed's arm, wishing he'd come out from behind the blankets so he could see him. "We'll talk about it in the morning, okay?"
His tone was firm, and Reed could tell it meant he wouldn't forget or let it slide. He gulped nervously, but allowed himself to feel momentarily better as he felt the weight lift off the bed, hearing the door close not long after.
The pain was back, sparking all through his backside and lower back, and the throbbing from the welts were all the worse after all the thrashing around he did. He starting crying into his pillow again, taking extra caution to be quiet. If Kurt heard now after that little stunt he'd just pulled, there was no way he'd let it slide.
His chest was heaving again, and he clutched onto the pillow tightly. He was so scared. Why did he just dream about that? And why was it Shane? That was the absolute worst.
He smothered his face into the pillow, completely terrified. But he knew this was only the beginning. There would be more reactions to come, and he was beginning to wonder just how well he'd be able to pretend nothing had happened.