Hey. Sorry this took so long. This isn't exactly the easiest thing to write. That's no excuse I know. But still.
I'm starting to feel a little alarmed about the amount of people asking if Shane is going to find out.
Yes.
Hurt myself again today.
Blaine's eyes were stinging so badly all he wanted to do was let them slipped closed. But he couldn't. The sun was finally filtering in through to window beside the desk he sat at, announcing the arrival of morning. He had been awake since Reed's nightmare and didn't plan on sleeping now. What would be the point? He'd have to wake up to go to class soon anyways.
Shane fell back into unconsciousness soon enough, but not before rambling on and on about what Reed's dream could have possibly meant, asking Blaine questions he really didn't expect an answer for, just wanting to speak them aloud so he could voice his confusion. Blaine could tell Shane was worried. But he couldn't do anything about it.
He also knew exactly what Reed's nightmare was about. His behavior during and after made it quite obvious. So he had to do something, anything to help. He wanted to tell everyone, remembering how concerned they all were while it was happening, but he couldn't.
He had to do something though, especially if he was going to be the only one who knew, the only one who could help. And he would have to do that as much as possible. Which meant he needed to know exactly what he was dealing with.
He needed to know what to do whenever Reed had nightmares like this; what to do when he seemed to remember something specific about the attack; what to do when he lost control over his emotions; what to do in general.
He knew dealing with something like this was going to take a lot of work. Reed would be going through many different types of side effects and being the only person who knew why, he'd have to educate himself on what to expect and how to deal with it.
That was why he sat here, staring at his laptop with tired eyes, learning all he could about rape victims and the aftermath of such an assault. He had been reading since Shane fell back asleep and could feel his brain throbbing with the combination of all the new knowledge and the sleep deprivation.
If only he could just rest his eyes for one second…
The shrill shrieking of Shane's extra loud alarm clock (it took a mountain to wake him up) made him jump in surprise, nearly falling out of his chair.
The little numbers in the corner of his screen informed him it was seven a.m. and that classes would be starting soon. The thought of going through seven hours of school after not even three hours of sleep made his head hurt even worse. But he wasn't going to let Reed go through it alone. Not after everything he read…
Now that he could glimpse at the full extent of what Reed would be going through, he was going to do everything in his admittedly limited power to help.
Searing in his throat made Reed's aching eyes spring open, not that they'd been closed for long. Falling back to sleep after that nightmare had been nearly impossible and it felt as though his eyes had only been closed for a couple minutes before the gaging feeling was tearing through his sore throat.
He jumped up, ignoring the pain throbbing through his body that was now considerably dulled but still just as persistent, and ran into the bathroom, leaning over the sink to expel the rest of the contents of his stomach which was mostly empty thanks to this very thing happening not even ten hours ago.
His arms were trembling with a combination of the pain and effort, barely able to hold himself up. He wiped his mouth clean with the back of a shaking hand, trying his best to ignore the burning in his throat and quite a few other places as well.
He leapt back, taken completely by surprise when he turned to see Kurt standing in the door way, eyebrow raised and concern in his eyes.
"Are you alright? You look really sick." He walked forward and into the room, stopping when he was close enough to lay a hand on Reed's clammy forehead. He immediately flinched away. He still didn't want to be touched. "You probably still have whatever you had last night. Do you want to just skip classes today?"
Reed sank back, attempting to discreetly shy away from Kurt's touch and presence. His head was pounding from all the crying and add that to the lack of sleep, all he wanted to do was crawl back into bed, to lay there forever and forget about everything. He wanted to say yes; he wanted to stay hidden in his room all day instead of being forced to face the world. But he knew he couldn't. If he was left alone with just himself and his thoughts he knew the direction they would turn, he knew what he'd end up thinking about. He couldn't let that happen. He needed to keep busy, let his mind be distracted, and what better way to do that but why sitting through hours of boring lessons?
"No," he finally croaked. "No. I have to go. I'll be fine." Kurt did not look persuaded in the least bit so Reed offered a small smile that looked strained and fake, more scared than anything. "I promise."
Kurt still looked unsure, but nevertheless turned, sighing, "Okay. I can't force you to stay back, although I still think you should. I just–" He stopped talking abruptly, eyes fixating on the garbage can by the sink. Reed followed his gaze, feeling a sense of panic and dread twist in his stomach when he saw exactly what Kurt was looking at.
He turned back to younger boy, instantly noting his expression. He stared down at Reed questioningly, eyes expecting an answer. "Why is there clothing in the trash bin?"
Reed's heart was pounding, the sound vibrating in his ears. He froze, completely at a loss. "I… uh…" he stammered, swallowing nervously. Kurt continued to stare him down, expression unwavering. "I just… didn't want them anymore." He finished with another nervous gulp, trying to smile but only coming across as pained.
Eyebrow raised, Kurt looked back to the bin, clothing and belt stuffed in but still easily noticeable. "But don't they belong to the school?" He laughed a little despite the suspicions he felt over the odd situation. "I know they aren't exactly fashionable but everyone has to wear them."
Reed shifted his eyes to the ground, staring at his feet intently. "I have others. I don't need those."
Kurt was staring back at him, suspicions coming to a peak. "What's wrong with this pair?" When Reed only shrugged loosely, refusing to meet Kurt's curious eyes, Kurt glanced back to the clothes. Narrowing his eyes, he attempted to walk forward to get a better look, but only managed a couple of steps before Reed's hand shot out, clutching onto the taller boy's arm with force.
"No!" he shouted, surprising Kurt with the change of tone. "They're just stupid clothes Kurt! Can you please just drop it?"
His voice had an edge to it but his eyes were watery, almost looking pleading. Kurt immediately felt uneasy and his suspicions only intensified. He had never seen Reed act like this, and was about to point it out when a knocking sounded from the door, causing them to both turn their heads towards the doorway.
He glanced back at Reed who looked somewhat frightened, bestowing him an intense look that told the smaller boy Kurt was now suspecting of his unorthodox behavior. Reed just swallowed uncomfortably as he watched Kurt turn, walking out the bathroom to answer the insistent knocking on the door.
Blaine stood outside, fidgeting slightly to himself as he waited for someone to open the door. Walking in unexpectedly just didn't seem right, especially given everything that had happened. He had dressed as quickly as possible, trying his best to wake Shane who was stubbornly trying to stay in bed, much like he did every morning. When he finally got up Blaine was quick to leave the room, wanting to talk to Reed before his brother got to him. He had to discuss everything he recently found out and he didn't need Shane overhearing them.
The door finally opened, revealing Kurt, still dressed in his pajamas. He smiled upon seeing Blaine who was working hard at hiding his nerves, trying to appear completely normal.
"Uh hi." He spoke softly, smiling a little. Kurt didn't notice anything abnormal though, much to Blaine's endless relief. He only smiled back and welcomed Blaine inside the room.
"Why are you here so early? I'm not even dressed yet," Kurt said as he walked over to his closet, pulling out the ever familiar uniform.
"I just um," Blaine struggled to find an excuse. "Wanted to see you," he finished lamely, giving a plastic smile. Kurt remained oblivious though so Blaine continued speaking. "Was Reed okay? Did he have any more nightmares?"
Kurt turned to face him then and Blaine could easily detect the confusion in his eyes. He hoped to god he was imagining the suspicious look Kurt now wore. What would Kurt have to be suspicious about anyways? It wasn't like he knew anything that would give it away. Despite these thoughts reassuring him, Blaine still swallowed nervously and this time it did not go unnoticed by his boyfriend whose eyebrow quirked slightly before he answered.
"No. No more nightmares. But he did throw up this morning." Kurt studied Blaine's reaction carefully, noting the panic that flashed in his hazel eyes. "I suggested he stay back but he refused." He also noticed the anger that replaced the panic. What did that mean? He decided to leave the part about the clothes out. Nothing made sense. He was desperately trying to find a way to piece all these clues together, only coming up with nothing. Maybe Reed actually was just sick and Blaine was worried. But still, that didn't explain the clothes…
Meanwhile Blaine was feeling irritated. He was worried out of his mind and Reed was acting like this just wasn't a big deal. Of course it was a big deal! Didn't he realize that yet?
"Where is he anyways?" he asked, trying to keep his voice flowing easily. Kurt didn't need another thing to suspect.
Before he was given an answer, the bathroom door opened and Reed appeared, dressed in his uniform, wearing the dark blue cardigan instead of his blazer. He brushed off invisible lint before looking up and realizing Blaine stood there, scrutinizing his every move.
Kurt looked back and forth between the two of them, watching them carefully. He managed to catch the panicked look that crossed Reed's face upon seeing Blaine, also seeing the tenor stare back at Reed with a knowing look Kurt didn't exactly understand.
"I'll be back." He held up the clothes in his arms as an indication, but the two other occupants in the room barely looked away from each other as Kurt made his way to the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind him.
Once he was gone, Reed shuffled, staring at the floor and blushing. Seeing Blaine instantly reminded him that the other boy knew everything. And that was extremely embarrassing.
"So." Blaine spoke, keeping his voice at such a volume so that only Reed would be able to hear him. "You threw up again."
Reed shrugged, moving to the foot of his bed and Blaine could immediately tell he wasn't limping as much as yesterday but still clearly struggling to walk normally. "So what if I did? It's not a big deal."
Blaine wanted to groan but bit it back. "You're wrong! It is a big deal! Everything is!" He made to run his fingers through his hair in frustration but stopped himself. He barely had any gel in his usually tightly knitted down hair thanks to this morning's haste. "What if the puking has something to do with what happened?"
Reed's eyes flashed. Blaine could see every ounce of emotion they held whenever it was mentioned. Terror, fear, shock, confusion, pain naming only a few. He bit onto his lip, looking away. "It's not. It's probably just trauma or something," he mumbled keeping his eyes locked on the ground.
"At least you're admitting it was something traumatic!" Blaine tried to keep his voice down but he desperately wanted Reed to understand. He sighed. "Reed you really need help!" That caught his attention. He looked back up, an unreadable expression on his face. "I read about everything. What you're going to be going through… Reed I don't think I can help you by myself. You need someone who knows what they're doing!"
Reed's eyes hardened and Blaine could see betrayal overcome the panic. "I never said I needed your help! I can get through this all by myself! I didn't ask you to invade my business and I don't need any freaking help!"
Blaine's jaw was open and his eyes were wide. Reed had never yelled at him like that before. As a matter of fact he had never yelled at anyone like that, savor the time he exploded on Micah when he thought he was trying to take Shane away from him, and even then it took weeks of buildup and he immediately apologized afterward. This time he didn't. He continued to stare at Blaine with solid eyes that were misting over. When his bottom lip started to tremble, Blaine sprang forward.
"Don't cry okay. I'm not going to tell anybody I swear. I just." He stopped talking, swallowing instead. "I'm worried about you." The harshness in Reed's eyes quickly dispersed, leaving him looking scared and hurt. "And I know that I may not be able to do anything that will make you feel better." He shrugged, looking down with worry.
Reed just stared at the floor, unable to look Blaine in the eyes as the guilt flooded over him. It was all his fault he was so worried.
"I don't know what to do," Blaine admitted, looking down as well.
There was a tense, thick silence that was only broken when a soft sob passed through Reed's lips. Blaine blinked up, alarmed before Reed was mumbling.
"What would you do if it was you?"
Blaine allowed himself to imagine it; picturing himself going about his day normally before some stranger came along, beating him, whipping at his skin with something thick enough to draw blood, forcing him to lean over a desk before… He stopped there, squeezing his eyes shut and grabbing onto the smaller boy in front of him, pulling him close and letting him cry. It hurt too much to imagine, he couldn't comprehend actually living through it.
Kurt was staring into the mirror, admiring his uniform and hair, checking for any flaws. When he was finally satisfied, he turned away only to come face to face with the cause of such trouble earlier. The garbage bin sat there, still displaying the clothes clearly. Curiosity started to inch its way back into Kurt's mind, wondering exactly what was wrong with them and why Reed had freaked out so badly when they were brought up.
He glanced at the door, double checking that it was still locked before looking back to tempting clothes. A part of him thought this whole thing was silly but another, larger part of him knew something was up with his best friend and those clothes might just have something to do with it.
Quickly realizing he needed to know, he grabbed onto the white button down on top, pulling it up and inspecting it carefully. At first he was confused. There was nothing out of the ordinary to be mentioned. But when he saw the large rust colored stain that had dried, making to corner of the shirt wrinkled and scrunched up, he gasped, feeling his eyes widen only slightly. He knew Reed getting hurt was nothing new so he wasn't too worried, not until he turned the shirt over. Dots of the same color lined over the white fabric causing Kurt's confusion to intensify. What kind of injury could cause bleeding like this and all over his back? And how could Reed's clumsiness have possibly caused this?
He dropped the shirt back, not needing to look at the pants to know something was wrong.
He threw the bathroom door open, ready to demand answers. But he stopped right in tracks, freezing when he realized what was happening.
Blaine had his arms wrapped around Reed tightly, and they both jumped back, straightening out their clothes and trying to appear normal the second they heard the door open. Reed ran a hand over his damp cheeks, looking anywhere except Kurt's eyes. Blaine was also avoiding his gaze, staring at the floor.
Kurt just clenched his jaw, saying nothing. Nothing added up. Reed's unusual behavior, his ruined clothes, his illness, his nightmare, and now all of the sudden he and Blaine were becoming quite a bit closer. He didn't know what was going on but he knew one thing for sure: they were hiding something.
Reed had barely made it out of the awkward silence that took hold of the room the second Kurt came out, but as he closed the door behind him, leaving Kurt and Blaine alone in the room, he was relieved he did. That relief was instantly washed away the second he saw he wasn't the only person in the hall.
"Hi," Shane breathed, stepping forward with a smile.
Reed was unable to return it. "Um. Hi."
Shane just grinned blissfully, completely ignorant to the fact there was something wrong. He moved to place a hand over Reed's forehead, not noting how he flinched away from the touch.
"Are you still sick? Do you feel better today?"
No. Not at all. But he didn't dare say that, he knew he had to lie. "Yeah. I guess it only lasted a couple hours." He tried to smile but found it to be impossible.
Shane still didn't register anything was wrong though as he continued talking easily. "And that nightmare. What was that about?" Of course he wasn't going to forget about that was he?
Reed looked to the floor, knowing that if Shane could see his eyes he would instantly catch the dishonesty in his words. "Um I don't know. I don't remember anything that happened in it."
Shane, still smiling, only looked at the boy who refused to meet his eyes in confusion. "You don't remember? That was the worst nightmare I've ever experienced and it wasn't even me. And you're telling me you don't even remember what happened?"
Trying to hide the quivering in his voice, Reed answered "Yes."
He was lying. Of course he remembered. How could he forget the look in Shane's eyes as he hovered over him, holding him down and trying to force the clothes from his body. Reed's eyes slammed shut. He already had to deal with the memories of the first time that had happened, he didn't need this nightmare haunting him too.
Shane was still looking at him puzzled so Reed kept his eyes glued to his feet.
"Is something wrong?" he asked, finally picking up on the weight in the air that screamed abnormal.
Reed nearly choked on his words. "N-no. Nothing is wrong." He took a daring glance upward and regretted it immediately. He saw the change in Shane's eyes, the carefree happiness melting away into worried suspicion.
His eyes narrowed in concentration. "Where did this bruise come from?" he asked gently grazing the coloring patch on Reed's cheek.
Reed could remember exactly how it felt each time a hand was sent over his face harshly, forcing him to keep quiet. He gulped, staring down at the floor. "Nowhere– I don't remember. It doesn't matter. I'm fine."
Shane's brows were pulled together. "Are you sure?" he reached out to put an arm around the smaller boy in a loving, concerned gesture. But Reed was flinching under his touch the second he did so, twisting to get out of the hold with a hiss escaping his lips. It wasn't the fact that he didn't want to be touched, although that was part of it, that made him cringe; it was pain this action brought, Shane's arm unknowing grazing the untreated welts on Reed's back.
Shane's concern doubled and shock was added to the confusion. "What is it?"
There was no way Reed was going to get out of this with a 'nothing.' He swallowed nervously, hoping this answer would suffice. "My back is just sore is all." Technically he wasn't lying. Technically.
Shane's hand unconsciously drifted towards Reed's back again, lingering around the hem of his shirt. "Can I see it?" He ended the question with an innocent tug upward, pulling the fabric lightly.
Reed's hand snapped up, slapping Shane's away the instant he started tugging, jumping back with a shrill scream tearing through the air. "No!"
Time seemed to stop as Reed stared up into Shane's shell shocked face with terror. He was barely even aware the door beside them had opened and Kurt and Blaine appeared, both searching for the source of the sound.
Reed's heart was beating irregularly again and he couldn't stop the panicked feeling from creeping up his spine when Shane's confused expressed turned into one of deep suspect.
Kurt was the one who finally broke the stiff silence. "Uh, what just happened?" He glanced at Shane but could immediately tell he was no more informed than the rest of them. His eyes trailed back to Reed who looked so shocked and scared he was physically trembling.
"Nothing," he was quick to answer, his voice an octave higher than normal. He turned away, tearing himself away from Shane's piercing gaze. "Let's just go. We're probably going to be late."
"Wait!" He stopped, hearing Shane's call but he didn't turn back around. "Are you sure you're okay, you're acting strange."
No. He wasn't okay. He was far from okay but he refused to acknowledge it. Because acknowledging that meant that there was something wrong, and knowing that something was wrong meant automatically knowing what caused that. And he wouldn't allow himself to think about it. He was not going to think about that today, he was not going to remember.
Blaine watched Shane carefully, feeling guilt and worry swirling around in the pit of his stomach. He could read every single one of Shane's emotions easily as they were written in his eyes. He knew how he was feeling but what could he do? He started to feel a little alarmed when Shane mentioned Reed's odd behavior. Shane knew something wasn't right and he wanted to know what, and knowing his brother, he wouldn't stop until he got his way, he never did.
When was he going to find out? Blaine was almost certain he would. Even if Reed was determined to keep it hidden, how exactly would that be possible when he couldn't even walk straight? He started studying Shane again, thinking about what exactly he would do when the truth came out. The thought made his stomach drop.
Kurt was staring at the back of Reed's head, mentally noting every nervous tremor that ran through him. He added this incident to the rapidly growing list of things to be wary of.
He finally answered, only whispering two words. "I'm not." He set off down the stairs then, almost successfully hiding his limp.
No one chose to comment on the fact that his answer seemed contradicting in itself and only silently followed, vainly hoping that Reed was telling the truth.
They were nearing the main building of the school when Reed was pulled out of his thoughts. He had been silent the whole way, not noticing the curious glances shared by his friends as they wondered why he was acting so weird.
"Why are you limping?"
His head snapped up then, looking up to see everyone watching him expectantly. He wasn't even sure who asked but they all appeared to be wanting an answer. His eyes found Blaine's, both pairs wide with panic. Blaine shrugged lightly, trying to discreetly tell Reed he had no idea what to say.
Reed was at a loss too. He wasn't even completely aware he had been limping. He was only trying to walk in the most comfortable way possible, doing anything to lessen the pain he still felt. It still hurt, but at least it wasn't as bad as last night.
Suddenly his thoughts were turning back to that night and he forced himself to close his eyes, titling his head downward.
His voice shook when he finally answered, "I think I just pulled something in my leg last night." He swallowed before adding, "From that nightmare…"
He immediately regretted mentioning it when the twins were reminded of this, instantly choosing to comment. "About that nightmare, what was that about?"
Reed didn't see which one had asked for his eyes were still watching his feet. "I don't know. I don't remember what happened."
Kurt was the first to speak up. "Wait. You woke me up at four AM screaming your lungs out and you don't even remember why?"
Reed didn't answer, instead shaking his head without looking up. Something about this whole conversation had Kurt feeling uneasy. He didn't know why but he did know that he wasn't buying what Reed was telling them. Not even a little bit.
Shane studied his boyfriend closely. That was exactly what he had told him. It felt a little suspicious to him but what did he know? Reed might have actually forgotten. But there was something about the way he was acting that made him think there was something more. It was like there was a heavy shift in the atmosphere that hadn't been here yesterday, something that made today so much different. But he had no idea what.
"Wait a minute," he said, realizing something. Reed glanced up at him, hearing the tone in Shane's voice that meant he had figured something out. Shane could easily detect the panic that was swimming in Reed's brown eyes. "You said your back hurts earlier, there's also a bruise on your cheek. Now you're limping because of your leg?" Shane looked heavily concerned. In his mind he imagined Reed doing something that testified his clumsiness, perhaps falling down the stairs but being too embarrassed to admit it. "Are you sure there's nothing wrong? Did something happen?"
As soon as the words met Reed's ears his eyes were widening, panic and terror flooding through him. "Nothing happened!" he said, a little too loudly to be considered normal. Everyone stopped walking, staring at smaller boy who now looked genuinely scared with shock. "I'm fine! Now could you all please leave me alone!" He turned, quickening his pace but still noticeably limping, and walked away leaving eight boys staring after him, stunned.
Kurt was the first to break the silence, saying the same thing they were all thinking. "Something is up with him."
Reed's knees felt weak when he finally stepped through the main building of the school. His eyes involuntarily scanned around the boys that were present. He started trembling, shaking every time he spotted someone with dark blonde hair. His arms wrapped around his chest, hugging onto himself, feeling terrified. He was suddenly cursing himself for running ahead. Not only did that cause the pain in his backside to increase, but now he was here, facing the mass of students alone, knowing that he could be anywhere.
He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep the tears from falling and block the image of his face from his mind. Just knowing that he was here somewhere, lurking, even though he knew he didn't have any classes with him, just being in the same school was enough to make him want to run back out, to the safety of his room.
Just as he turned around to do just that, he found himself staring up at a much taller body. He was endlessly relieved to see it was only Shane, peering down at him with confusion.
"What is it?" he asked, titling his head slightly.
Reed didn't answer, he instead clutched onto the taller boy's shirt tightly, burying his face into the fabric and letting the tears fall.
Shane stood there, completely astonished, confusion only doubling. He slowly wrapped his arms around the shaking boy carefully, making sure he wouldn't jump away from the touch. He also avoided his back, which he thought was merely sore. He had no way of knowing the truth.
He was just a clueless when came to what was happening now. It took him completely by surprise when Reed had grabbed onto him and started crying, especially when he had previously been showing reluctance to even be looked at, let alone talked to or held.
Reed was petrified. He knew he was here somewhere. He hadn't thought about what he'd do when he was forced to go back to school, he hadn't thought that far ahead. But now that he was here, he was scared stiff. He didn't want to move.
What would he do if he saw him in passing, in the lunchroom or the halls? What if he tried to talk to him? What if he tried to do something else?
He started sobbing at the thought, clutching onto Shane's unbuttoned blazer harder. He winced when Shane started to rub his back soothingly, unknowingly causing pain to throb from the welts he didn't know existed.
Shane maneuvered them from the door and to the corner of the room, Reed moving as easily as if he were a ragdoll but never letting go or looking up.
"Reed," Shane unsuccessfully tried to pry Reed off so he could look in his eyes. "What's wrong?" He was given no answer, only sobs. "Baby, please tell me." He was feeling terrified, scared that Reed was actually hurt.
Reed only whimpered, shaking calming a fraction. He finally spoke, his voice muffled slightly by Shane's clothing. "Don't leave me."
That stunned Shane even further, and he had to double check that he'd heard right. "What do you mean don't leave you? I'll never leave you."
Voice trembling along with body, Reed spoke again. "Promise?"
Shane tightened his hold, not noticing how Reed flinched when he did. "I promise." He was so confused. None of this made any sense. He was also starting to feel much more worried than he previously was. Not only was he missing something, but it seemed more serious than he had originally thought. And that scared him more than anything.
Why would Reed hide something from him?
He didn't know why but he was sure he was when Reed continued to shake and cry, appearing to not care about the fact they were being given odd looks or that they were probably going to be late.
Shane once again found himself cursing the fact that he was a year younger than his boyfriend and therefor didn't have many classes with him.
"Do you want to go back to your room? We don't have to go to class today, we can talk about it instead."
Those words caused Reed to snap out of it. He jumped back, trying to recompose himself. He couldn't believe he was stupid enough to cry like that in front of Shane. He had just basically confirmed that there was something wrong. And he knew Shane knew it. He was staring at him with such a worried expression it was obvious. And now he wanted to talk about it. He knew there was something worth talking about and he probably wouldn't give up until they did.
Way to go idiot
But when he spotted a boy with dirty blonde hair running passed them he was suddenly aware of why he acted that way in the first place. He was unconsciously leaning towards Shane again, feeling the tears continue to build.
"No," he finally answered. "I have to go to class. I'll be fine." He paused, looking to his shuffling feet before murmuring, "Can you walk me there?"
Shane blinked. He wasn't sure how to feel. He was so freaking confused. "Uh, of course." It took him off guard when Reed wrapped his arms around one of Shane's own, hiding his face behind it.
"Don't let go."
Shane barely heard the whispered words. He nearly choked on his response. "I-I won't."
He didn't care if it made him even later to class than he already was, he wasn't going to make Reed walk there alone, not when he seemed genuinely terrified. When they started walking, Reed was beginning to limp again and Shane noticed.
He tried to think passed the confusion, shock, and fear in his mind. He had no idea what was going on. He had never seen Reed act like this, he'd never even seen him cry like he just did, and in school? And what was with his mysterious injuries that just developed overnight? This behavior was scaring him, so much it was impossible to think about anything else.
He stumbled forward numbly, too dazed to have a real response to anything.
He wasn't the only one was surprised as Kurt was standing in the other corner, eyes narrowed and suspicions overflowing. He added this to his mental list. From this he could tell Shane was in the dark just as much as he was. But now there was no doubt in his mind. Reed was hiding something. And he was going to find out what.
Shane stopped outside of Reed's classroom. He wasn't expecting Blaine to be standing there, waiting.
His eyes widened when he took in the image of Reed, trembling and holding onto his brother's arm so tightly it was beginning to cut off his circulation. He shifted uncomfortably, knowing Shane was probably beyond confused. He was unable to meet his questioning eyes as he avoided his gaze, looking down to the floor.
Reed finally looked up when they stopped walking. He had successfully kept himself from seeing any of the passing students. If they had passed him in the hall, he had no way of knowing. Even though he was relieved he didn't see him, that thought still scared him to death.
He didn't know how he'd be able to make it through the day knowing that the person who had hurt him so bad and in the worst possible way was lurking around, going to the same school he was, walking the same halls. He cringed, wanting to draw into himself and disappear, to vanish into thin air and never have to deal with this ever again. He looked to Blaine, trying to catch his eye.
Blaine could feel the stares that he was being given. He looked up slowly, locking his eyes on Reed's terrified ones. He instantly figured out why Reed was so scared. Of course he was. He was here, standing in the same building that the monster that raped him was probably in. No wonder he looked petrified.
He thanked whatever God there was that he shared all but one class with Reed.
He reached out, pulling Reed away from his still heavily confused brother.
"Come on Reed. We're late."
They started walking through the doorway before Blaine felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around to see Shane staring at him, an unreadable expression in his eyes.
Reed stopped walking the second Blaine had, glancing up at him with fear. Blaine managed to give a pathetic half smile, urging him into the room and reassuring he'd be right behind him. Reed hesitantly walked forward, slowly.
He turned to Shane once they were alone." What is it?" he asked, finding it hard to look his brother in the eye.
"I'm scared," was the only answer he was given. Blaine was soon drowning in guilt. He knew Shane was scared; he was too.
He swallowed, looking at the wall and back. "Of what?"
Shane shrugged, not noticing any of Blaine nervous habits that revealed he was lying. "I just… I don't know." His face scrunched up in confusion. "I don't know what's going on. Reed is acting so strange. Earlier he didn't want me to touch him and now as soon as I walk through the door, he grabs onto me, crying pretty damn hard. This time he didn't want me to let go. I don't get it. Am I missing something here?"
He looked back at Blaine who was trying hard to keep composed. He had never felt so guilty. "I don't know." He shrugged tightly, trying to appear as confused as Shane did. "Maybe he just feels guilty for acting weird earlier when he was sick." He knew this was a lame excuse but he didn't have any idea what to say.
Shane's eyebrows drew together. "But why would he cry that hard just for that? That doesn't make sense."
Blaine shrugged again. "Maybe he's still kind of sick."
The words didn't appear to have any comforting effect on Shane whatsoever. He looked back at his brother, worry evident in his eyes. "I know I don't have every class with him so I don't get to see him a lot in school." He looked down, still feeling just as uneasy as ever. When he glanced back up he was staring straight into Blaine's eyes. "Can you please look after him?"
Blaine felt like a giant black hole had just swallowed him, crushing his lungs and making it impossible to breathe. The guilt he felt only deepened and he struggled to get air into his lungs.
"Yes," he finally agreed. "I'll look after him." As he echoed back his brother's words he wondered just how good of a job he was doing of that. He was already trying to, and it looked like so far, he was failing.
As soon as he stepped into the classroom he could immediately see Reed was there, waiting for him in the corner of the room by the door. Quite a few people were out of their seats, the twins making such a ruckus, as their Calculus teacher wasn't anywhere to be seen.
"What did he say?" Reed asked anxiously and Blaine could tell he was still trying hard not to cry. The tear streaks on his cheeks were fresh.
"He's just worried. Don't worry," he added when saw Reed's expression. "He's still as clueless as ever."
Reed just frowned, looking down at his expensive shoes. "I'm so stupid," he whispered. "What was I thinking, crying like that?"
Blaine grimaced. "Don't blame yourself. It's logical that you'd be scared, being in the same building as–" He stopped talking immediately, kicking himself for bringing it up.
Reed was looking back up at him, eyes wide and filled with terror. When a dazed look crossed his face and his eyes unfocused, staring on at nothing, Blaine started to panic. Flashbacks. It was one of the things he had read about. Whenever something specific about the attack was mentioned there was a possibility of Reed reliving it. That was what happened in the bathroom last night when Blaine tried to put medicine on Reed's back.
He knew what to do, but that didn't make it any easier.
"Reed!" he grabbed onto his shoulders and gave a single hard shove. "Reed, listen to me. You are not back there, you are safe. You're with me, Blaine and we're in Calculus. You're completely safe, no one is going to hurt you I swear."
Reed's eyes came back to life but they were flooding over, tears spilling down his cheeks. He gasped, throwing his hands over his mouth, scared that he would make noise that would draw in unnecessary attention. He thanked God Kurt didn't have this class with them and wasn't able to witness this.
"Why does that keep happening?" He looked devastated and Blaine knew there wasn't a single thing he could do to make him feel better.
He didn't have a chance to answer as the teacher finally arrived, strolling passed them and ordering everyone to get in their seats.
Blaine made his way to his desk that was one row over and one seat behind Reed's. When he got there he noticed Reed was just standing, staring at his chair with his eyebrows pulled together.
It dawned on him then. Sitting down would most likely still hurt and the plastic the chair was made of wasn't exactly soft. Doing the only thing he could think of, he shrugged his blazer off, noticing that Reed wasn't wearing his seeing as its buttons were still ripped off. He handed it to Reed who took it, looking grateful before dropping it into the seat of his chair, trying to make it as fluffy as possible. It still sent bouts of ripping pain through his body when he sat, but at least it wasn't as bad as it could be.
He wasn't aware that just a couple of feet away the twins were watching, studying him with raised eyebrows.
Reed stared at his paper with tired eyes. It been nearly thirty minutes since they were issued a pop quiz on the material they had learned in the beginning of the week. He looked over the math problems blankly, the paper mirroring his expression. He hadn't filled out a single answer. He couldn't concentrate enough to do so. He was barely even reading the questions, forgetting every word the second he read it.
It was with absolutely no emotion that he handed the test in, the paper still completely void of writing savor his name at the top. He knew his grade was going to suffer because of this but he didn't care.
He just didn't care.
He had done an excellent job at keeping his mind clear for the remainder of his morning classes. He hadn't managed to think about it at all. Actually he hadn't managed to think of anything. Any work that was supposed to be done in any of his classes went untouched. He couldn't focus on anything. But again, he couldn't bring himself to care.
Blaine never left his side, but there was no words exchanged. Not until they were headed to lunch. Kurt was chatting to him happily, and Blaine trying to appear interested but he couldn't stop his eyes from trailing back to Reed who stood beside Shane a couple paces ahead of him. His arms were wrapped around his torso and he was cowering into himself. Shane was watching him with concern.
He suddenly stopped walking when they reached the entrance to the lunch room, Shane stopping as well. Blaine stepped forward, immediately intent on being in control this time.
"Hey," he spoke to Shane and Kurt, voice full of false optimism. "Why don't you guys go save us a table, we'll get you food."
Kurt halted, staring at Blaine with slightly narrowed eyes. "Why?"
"Just looks kind of crowded today." He threw in a fake laugh for good measure.
"O… kay," Kurt walked by them, silently studying the two as he passed. Shane followed but not before squeezing Reed's hand.
As soon as they disappeared into the room, Blaine's smile fell. He turned back to Reed, staring into his frightened eyes.
"Reed, listen to me." He hardened his voice, making sure Reed understood what he was about to say. "I know you're scared. You think you might see him in there don't you?" Reed nodded timidly, his eyes looking passed Blaine and into the room. "I can't guarantee you won't, but if you do tell me. Do you understand?"
His eyes flickered back to Blaine's determined ones. "Okay," he whispered. He sincerely hoped he wouldn't though. He didn't think he could take it. It was terrifying him just thinking about it.
"Okay." Blaine agreed, grabbing onto the smaller boy's hand and pulling him gently into the room.
Kurt's eyes widened from where he was waiting for the rest of the conspirators with Shane who was being unusually quiet. His breath hitched as he watched Blaine enter the room, holding onto Reed's hand, guiding towards the line of people waiting for food.
Hearing the gasp, Shane asked, "What?"
"Look at them," Kurt said, discreetly pointing to where the two stood across the room. "What is that about?" Shane felt his eyes grow as well once he spotted his brother and his boyfriend holding hands. "And why did it take so long for them to enter the cafe? What were they doing out there?"
Kurt started to ponder this over while Shane's thoughts turned to a place far different.
"Has anything else like this happened?" he asked, feeling his voice quiver.
"Yes, as a matter of fact. They've been getting closer." Kurt met Shane's eyes. "Last night when I found Reed it was because he was in our bathroom. With Blaine. Blaine came out first and then Reed appeared, carrying a pillow. I mean what is that about? And then this morning after I got dressed I walked in on them in an embrace." He looked back to the table, a single perfect brow raised. "It's all very suspicious."
It was suspicious. And Shane was beginning to piece together a plausible explanation for everything. His jaw clenched and his eyes started misting over. No wonder Reed had grabbed onto him, breaking down in tears and making Shane promise he wouldn't leave him. He was feeling guilty. Guilty because he cheating on him with his own brother.
Reed sat the extra food down in front of his boyfriend before sitting down next to him. The look of pain he sported went he sat when unnoticed by everyone.
"Thanks." Shane's voice was harsh and he didn't sound grateful at all. Reed froze. He blinked at Shane slowly, trying to read his stoic expression.
"Are…" he began, voice shaking. "Are you mad at me?" He was fearing the worst. What if Shane had miraculously found out? What if he hated him now?
Shane reluctantly glanced down, instantly observing how scared he looked. Seeing Reed's fear broke through his despair.
"No," he answered honestly, his voice considerably softer. What did he know anyways? It wasn't like he was one hundred percent certain Reed was cheating on him. Besides he would never want to hurt him like that would he? Would Blaine? And even if he did, Shane would never hate him. Never.
Reed swallowed and looked down at the table. He didn't speak anymore. Neither did Shane. Shane ate in silence. Reed didn't eat at all. He didn't even pick at or play with his food. He sat completely still, staring at nothing and face blank. It wasn't until one of the twins noticed that Reed looked up.
"Dormouse," Evan said pointing to Reed's tray. "You haven't eaten anything."
"You haven't touched your food at all," Ethan added.
They both felt startled when Reed looked at them, his eyes making it seem as though he wasn't even present. They were completely void.
"I'm not hungry." His voice sounded like his eyes looked.
They both dropped it, sinking back and looking at each other with identical expressions. Kurt's eyes were closed into slits as he looked thoughtful. Shane looked worried, like he was about to be sick.
Blaine noticed their reactions and shuffled nervously. At least Wes, David, and Dwight were arguing, completely oblivious to the event that had all the rest of them suspecting. They were all suspicious now.
Blaine gulped.
Reed had remained in his catatonic state the rest of the day. The only time when he seemed to snap out of it was in the hall. His eyes scanned through every group of boys they passed. He was terrified he'd see him. But as he walked into his second to last class he hadn't yet.
At least this was study hall and he didn't have to worry about doing anything. Absolutely no work was accomplished in any of his classes so far and he was sure that, for today, it would remain that way.
He entered the class, walking closer to Blaine than Shane who had been acting unusual ever since lunch. He didn't know why, but it made him nervous. This was the only class he had with him.
Blaine moved to his seat behind Reed and beside Kurt. Shane sat beside his boyfriend, looking to the desk and refusing to speak. He glanced up when he noticed Blaine hand Reed his blazer who took it, looking thankful. He clenched his jaw again. What was that about? It only confused him further when Reed did nothing more than put it in his chair.
Kurt's eyebrows rose from where he was sitting behind Shane, watching with the same confusion. None of this made any sense. He was desperately trying to come up with any solution he could. He had once thought the same thing Shane was thinking now, especially when he saw the two of them come out of that bathroom. But he ultimately decided that even if Blaine did ever cheat on him, he would never do that to his brother. It seemed so uncharacteristic for Reed as well. He focused instead on what they were hiding, knowing the chance of unfaithfulness was slim.
Still, their behavior was odd. Especially this.
They were free to work on any homework they needed and Shane doesn't miss how Reed chooses to sit there, staring at the wood of his desk instead. He tried to concentrate on working but his thoughts kept drifting back to the boy who sat beside him, looking like a withdrawn shell of the person he was yesterday. Was he really feeling that guilty for cheating?
No, Shane thought to himself, There's no way he's cheating on you. It has to be something else.
Students in the back started whispering, and soon it was like a chain reaction. Everyone started murmuring among their friends. The teacher called out a warning, telling everyone to be quiet.
Reed barely blinked, he didn't notice the whispering around him. He was lost in his thoughts again, the same thoughts he'd been lost in the entire day. The only thing they revolved around was keeping his head clean. It seemed like he was thinking an endless mantra of
Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it.
A book slamming down finally caused him to jump, snapping out of it. He looked up just in time for the students to get loud again and the teacher to finally snap, "What did I say about being quiet?"
He froze. The whole classroom noise melted away and they only thing he could hear was the moaning and grunting from behind him. He could feel the pain ripping through his lower half and the stinging of a blade pressed to his back with a husky voice accompanying it.
What did I say about keeping quiet?
He could feel his body trembling as the tears started to fall again. He screamed loudly, trying to shake the feeling and predator away. "No!"
His shout rang through the air and all the movement in the classroom stopped, every eye turning to him. Blaine's stomach churned with panic. Shane could only stare, completely shocked. Kurt barely moved; he sat trying to make sense of what just happened.
Reed seemed to snap out of it the minute he screamed. He was panting, looking around at all the wide eyes that watched in in surprise. He jumped up, running out of the room and leaving all his stuff behind. He didn't care about it, he just needed out of that room.
Blaine was up before anyone else, chasing after him, calling, "Reed! Reed wait!"
Kurt stared after him. He had still barely moved an inch, he was too stunned. That single 'no' was all it took for things to start to click into place.
Shane was still paces behind though as he sat, watching after his brother and boyfriend in shock. He was supposed to be the one who chased after Reed. That was a boyfriend's job. Which meant only one thing. He was right.
He swallowed the ache in his throat that meant he was on the verge of tears. He couldn't believe his own brother would actually mess around with his boyfriend.
But what else could it be?