"Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you marry me?"
The question hung between them in a silence that quivered.
He held his breath, knowing very well this whole thing could blow up in his face. But, his mind argued, last time he'd been in this position, he had chosen to hold back, and she had misread his silence for lack of caring. She had said she wanted him to fight for them, for what he truly wanted, and he needed proof from her that she wouldn't run when he wanted them to take the next step.
Asking her to marry him solved all of it.
He wasn't naïve. He knew they still had an awful lot of baggage to sort through, but this would – hopefully – give them solid ground from which to work.
If she said yes.
If she said no, well... he had already learned to begin to live without her. This would be a setback, certainly – and thanks to their child she would always be a part of his life, but...
He could live without her.
Either way, he'd know.
She was still staring at the ring, mouth agape, and his knees were beginning to ache.
Finally, her gaze moved up to meet his.
"You're proposing?" she asked in disbelief, scrambling to her feet, prompting him to do the same. His heart plummeted, until her face lit up with a smile. "Really?" she asked.
He nodded foolishly, still not sure which way things were going to go.
He was fairly certain he was sweating.
She was grinning at him, though, and next thing he knew, she flung herself into his chest, winding her arms around him, laughing and giddy. He hugged her back, burying his nose in her curls, inhaling the scent of her.
His heart constricted, or swelled. He didn't know which. All he knew was that he loved her so damn much, and being able to hold her in his arms once more was making him lightheaded.
Finally, she pulled away, just enough to reach up and stroke his face, straighten his collar, over and over – as if reassuring herself that this was all real.
He knew exactly what she was going though.
His arms tightened around her just a little more.
"So that's a yes?" He couldn't stop the desperate hope from bleeding into his words.
Her eyes lifted to meet his. "No, wait."
His heart sank. "No?"
"No, no – not no," she tried to clarify, leaving him only more confused.
"So... yes?" he asked, trying to decipher her meaning.
"...I..." she stuttered, adorably flustered.
He attempted to help her. "Not yes?" he prompted.
She spoke quickly, pouncing on his words. "No. Not not yes. I... I..." she floundered.
He still had no idea which way this was going. His heart had whiplash from this conversation, and, to be honest, the fact that she still hadn't said 'yes' outright was beginning to hurt. A lot. He covered it the way he always did, though – with humor.
"You do know how this works, right?" he quipped.
She pitched forward into him again, and he felt her exhale against his neck, suck in a deep breath, then stand tall once more.
"Castle, I love you, but if this is just about the baby..."
On that point, at least, he could reassure her. "Do I like the idea of actually being married to the mother of my child? Yes. You know, deep down, I'm traditional in that respect. But Kate, this is about you and me. I want to marry you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You read my letters. You know it's true."
She let out a deep breath, then smiled his favorite smile – radiant and beautiful. "In that case, Richard Edgar Alexander Rodgers Castle, yes. Yes, I will marry you."
Cupping her cheek gently, he brought his lips down to touch hers. The kiss began slowly, tentatively, but her taste was so familiar and everything just felt so right that in no time at all, the kiss deepened, both of them gasping and moaning at finally being free to reconnect in this way. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, fingers scraping through his hair, leaving tingles on his scalp in their wake.
When they finally broke apart, he tipped his forehead down to rest against hers. Both of them were grinning like crazy people.
"I missed you. I missed this," he whispered.
"Me, too," she replied shyly.
He pulled away from her in order to take her left hand in his, and slid the ring onto her finger, running his thumb in circles on her skin as they both stared at the adornment as it glittered in the sunlight between them.
"It's big," she murmured almost to herself.
He choked back both a laugh and the obvious innuendo that sprang to mind, instead raising her hand to his lips to kiss it right next to the ring. The ring he'd bought months ago because it was perfect, never quite believing he would ever get the chance to place it on her finger, where it belonged.
"Come back to my place," he whispered, and she nodded, stretching up to brush her lips across his once more.
"Just let me stop in at mine to pick up a few things?"
He nodded, taking her hand and leading her back to the car.
She squeezed his hand as he unlocked the front door to the loft, trying to convey to him that she wasn't nervous.
She was fairly certain she was conveying the opposite.
He flashed her a reassuring smile, leaning over to brush a kiss across her temple, before opening the door and tugging her through with him.
Martha and Alexis called out cheerful greetings from where they were enjoying a comfortable gossip at the breakfast bar, but their words stopped short when they saw Kate standing there, too.
She took a deep breath, forcing herself to put on her best poker face. She refused to show how jittery she felt.
Except for the vice-like grip she had on Castle's hand.
Martha, of course, was the first to recover. "Katherine, darling! Welcome!" She stood, gliding over to embrace Kate warmly, causing Kate to drop her overnight bag so she could return the hug without having to let go of Castle's hand.
Alexis chirped "Hi, Kate!" from her seat, engaging in a silent conversation with her father, involving looks that Kate had no idea how to interpret.
Martha released her, only to take Kate's hands in between both of hers, looking her in the eye. "Congratulations," she said fiercely, before glancing down. "What's this?" she asked, bringing Kate's hand up to study it more closely.
What-
Oh.
OH!
The ring!
Shit!
She turned panicked eyes to Castle, but he was no help whatsoever. The smug bastard was standing there beaming.
It was too late, anyway. No fine piece of jewelry would be missed by Martha Rogers – especially the stunning engagement ring adorning the left hand of her son's pregnant ex-girlfriend with whom he was holding hands and grinning like he'd just won the lottery.
Martha cried out in joy, flinging her arms around both their necks, all but strangling them in her enthusiasm. "Oh! Oh, congratulations! Oh, my! I couldn't be happier! Oh, this is wonderful news!" Releasing them finally, she stepped back, clasping her hands, her eyes suspiciously misty. "Richard, for the first time ever, I can unequivocally state that I couldn't be happier with your choice. Oh, I'm so pleased the two of you worked everything out! Alexis, darling," Martha grabbed Kate's hand, all but shoving it in her granddaughter's face. "Look!"
Alexis gazed at the ring solemnly, flicking her eyes up to meet Kate's and offer a tight smile and a subdued "Congratulations," before shooting her father a look that could only be described as wounded.
Kate felt Castle's grip on her hand tighten as he sucked in a breath. "Pumpkin..." he began, but Alexis shook her head.
"I'm fine. Really. Just... next time a heads up would be nice before you propose to my next stepmother."
Castle's countenance darkened, his whole being suddenly stormy. Kate had never seen him level such a look at his daughter. "There won't be a next time," he said sharply, the words rumbling from deep in his chest.
Alexis gasped, taking a step back, her hand covering her mouth. Her wide, blue eyes filled with tears, and she looked at Kate, stricken. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it like that," she pleaded, before turning and flying up the stairs.
"Alexis..." Castle began sternly, moving as if to follow, but Kate tugged on his hand.
"I'll go. Trust me, Castle, right now you'll only make it worse."
Castle glowered at her, then huffed and turned away ungraciously, slamming into the kitchen.
Martha touched her arm. "Go. I've got this one," she said.
Kate nodded, acknowledging the instruction and exchanging a wry, knowing smile with her...
...Shit. Future Mother-in-law.
Shaking the thought off into the ever-growing pile of emotions she simply hadn't had time to deal with yet, she mounted the stairs slowly.
If she was being completely honest, her own reaction to their engagement – aside from the overwhelming relief that came from having a tangible commitment from both of them to making this relationship work more closely resembled Alexis' shock and trepidation than Martha's ebullient joy.
There was still so much that she and Castle needed to work out. She was under no illusions that getting engaged was going to somehow make all the hurt they had inflicted on each other over the course of the past few months magically disappear. She was in this, though, just as she knew he was. They had faced down murderers and bombs, conspiracies and snipers – surely they could work through this together, too.
She took a deep breath as she tapped on Alexis' door.
"Come in," came the muffled reply.
Kate opened the door just enough to poke her head in. "It's just me."
Alexis let out a deep sigh, letting her head drop back against her headboard. "Good. I was worried it would be Dad, and I don't think I could handle him right now. He doesn't get it."
Kate slipped into the room, closing the door behind her, then came and perched on the foot of the bed, half facing the teenager. "He's sulking downstairs. Martha's talking to him," she said with a conspiratorial smile, and Alexis offered a wane one in response.
"You know I didn't mean it like it sounded, don't you?" the girl pleaded, guilt etched on her face. "I just... Dad only told us about the baby last night, and I'm still getting my head around the idea of having a sibling when it's just been Dad and me for so long, and then he goes and proposes to you without even telling me he was thinking about it, and... he's always talked to me about this stuff before, you know? Like, with Gina, I was ten when he proposed to her, but he took me out to dinner the week before and asked my permission."
Kate sighed. "Well, if it's any comfort, I don't know that even he was expecting the question to come out like that. I know I certainly wasn't."
"But you do know I didn't mean it like I thought you and Dad aren't going to last, right? Because I think you're great for him," Alexis asked, her blue eyes wide.
Kate smiled. "I knew you didn't mean it to sound that way, and I'm so glad you think that. Your good opinion is worth so much to your Dad, that's why he didn't react too well just now. And, for what it's worth, it means an awful lot to me, too. I sorry there's been so much change for you to deal with in the last twenty-four hours. It's been hard on us, too – your Dad, especially. Most of that has been my fault."
Alexis shrugged. "But it's been hard for you, right? I mean, you didn't exactly get yourself pregnant."
Kate choked back a laugh. "Well, no... but I made some assumptions about how he felt about things that led to a lot of misery – for both of us."
"He loves you, you know," Alexis said.
Kate smiled. "I love him, too. So, so much. We still have a lot to work out, Alexis, but you need to know that this is it for me. I'm in this with your Dad, forever – no matter what. But since he didn't talk to you about it, can I ask you officially – do I have your permission to marry your Dad?"
Alexis rolled her eyes, but she was grinning. "Of course. And thanks for being so understanding about everything, Kate," she said.
"Trust me, it was a shock to my system, too!" Kate laughed, and jerked her head in invitation. "Get over here," she commanded, and Alexis caught on immediately, throwing her arms around Kate affectionately.
Castle was moving around the kitchen when she came down the stairs.
"Hey," she greeted him, and he paused to gather her up in his arms.
"Hey." He buried his nose in her curls, inhaling as she wrapped herself around him.
Finally, all those broken shards inside of him were coming back together. The splinters of his heart were rapidly healing.
They had a future together.
There was still so much to be worked through, but this time...
...This time they could move forward without fearing where the other stood.
And that made all the difference.
"She ok?" he asked quietly, and she nodded, then snuggled her nose into that spot where his neck met his shoulder, causing him to shiver.
"She's fine. You?" she asked, her voice muffled.
"Couldn't be better," he replied.
He felt her lips brush the stubble on his neck. Yep. More than fine.
She pulled away to look up at him. "You should probably go talk to her."
He sighed. "I know," he said heavily, then brightened. "Since my family already knows, what about inviting your Dad for dinner? Do it properly?"
Her eyebrows shot up. "I... okay, sure. I, uh... I'll call him while you're talking to Alexis," she agreed.
He nodded, tilting her head back and running his knuckles over her jaw.
"I love you, Kate." The words spilled out of him.
Rising up on her toes, she leaned in and brushed her lips against his teasingly. "I know," she said with an impish grin, before kissing him properly, her hot tongue sweeping into his mouth and curling and stroking against his.
"I would tell you to get a room, but I'm scared you might actually take me up on that." Alexis' voice interrupted them, and they broke apart. Kate's face was the most adorable pink he'd ever seen, and she buried her face in his shoulder.
"They're all my rooms," he objected, laying on the wounded act as thickly as possible. His daughter just smirked, going about getting herself a glass of water.
Kate brushed a lingering kiss against his cheek. "I'm going to call my Dad. May I use your office?"
He took her left hand in his, bringing it up to kiss her finger next to his ring. "Know what this means? What's mine is yours. You know you don't need to ask," he bent to kiss her one more time before releasing her.
She ducked her head as she moved away, all Kate with no trace of Detective Beckett, and he gripped the counter to stop himself from following her, crowding into her back and wrapping his arms around her, dragging her through to his bedroom where he would...
"I'm sorry about before." His daughter's voice brought him back down to earth with a thump. He turned to find her leaning against the counter behind him, studying the glass of water in her hands with unusual concentration.
"Me, too," he said quietly. "This week has had so many ups and downs for me, I forgot just how much this was all going to affect you."
"I really am okay with it. I was just... surprised, I guess. Everything's happening... not fast, I guess, because you've known each other for so long, but... at once, maybe?" Alexis stumbled though her explanation.
"Well, it's really been just you and me for a long time, in our own little bubble. Even Gina coming and going never really changed that," he said with a fond smile at some of the amazing memories that only he and Alexis would ever share.
Alexis sighed, but the corners of her mouth were tugging up into a smile. "Kate will, though. She already has. And this baby's going to change that even more. And that's good. It just... I guess I'm just scared that I'm going to end up being the one on the outside."
"Never," he promised, removing the glass from her hands and placing it on the counter before pulling his eldest into his arms. "You'll always be my Pumpkin, and my home will always be yours."
He felt her shoulders drop in relief. "Thanks, Dad."
He squeezed her a little tighter. "No problem. Besides, who else are we going to get free babysitting out of?" he added with a laugh.
She told her Dad about the engagement over the phone.
Maybe it was the cowards way out, but the truth was, she wanted him to know before he laid eyes on Castle again. Not that she was worried anything bad would happen – her father was a gentleman, after all, and even if Castle had knocked her up, her Dad had actually been Castle's advocate this whole summer.
Aside from Gates, he was the only other person she had told.
She couldn't be certain, but she might just have heard suspicious sniffing when she broke the news. She could hear the smile and the pride in his voice, though, so they must have been happy tears.
Once her conversation had finished, she wandered back out to the kitchen; a late afternoon cup of coffee with Castle and Alexis had all the markings of normality - even if it was decaf - talk turning from their new engagement to the less emotionally fraught topic of dinner. It wasn't until Castle yelped when he glanced at the time that any of them realized just how long they had been sitting around and chatting.
Castle pulled ingredients from the fridge and gave a pointed look at Alexis, who stood, walked to the other side of the counter and began to chop vegetables for salad, without a word. When Kate stood, though, he shook his head at her. "Just relax," he insisted, and she sat back down, unwilling to argue, and grateful for a few minutes more reprieve; she was suddenly exhausted, and without caffeine coursing through her system, she was unlikely to make it through the rest of the night without taking it easy.
As delicious smells and light, friendly chatter began to fill the loft, Martha rejoined them, settling herself beside Kate without offering to help. Kate hid her smile, all too well-versed in tales of Martha's lack of skill in the kitchen.
She hadn't realized just how lonely her summer had been until now that she was surrounded by family. Martha and Alexis truly had become family to her, and she had missed them. Hearing tales of their adventures over the summer – Alexis' trip, and Martha's exploits on her cruise – were stark contrasts to her months of work and hiding her morning sickness.
Castle remained quiet, mostly, only interjecting here and there, mostly just listening to his girls chatter with a contented smile on his face. He only truly reacted when Alexis started telling Kate about a guy she had met in Costa Rica, who sounded... free spirited, to say the least. Kate smiled, standing and edging her way around the counter, unable to resist closing the distance between herself and her fiancé.
"...I nearly brought him home to meet you all, but I knew Dad wasn't really in the right place to handle it all, so I told him no. He was a fruitarian, and knew all kinds of things about the environment. I'm kinda sorry I left him behind," she added, a wicked twinkle in her eye that reminded Kate exactly whose daughter the girl was.
Castle pouted as he stirred the sauce on the stove, and Kate bumped his hip with hers. "See, Castle? Us being apart was really a blessing," she teased, and he scowled at her even as he caught her in his arms. She grinned up at him, and he was just bending down to kiss her, when...
...There was a knock on the door.
"I'll get it!" Martha called, downing the lasts of her wine in one gulp so that it would be out of the way, before sashaying over to the door. Alexis paused in her salad preparation to rinse out the glass. They had already set out a pitcher of apple juice on the table, seeing as neither of the Beckett's nor Alexis would partake in alcohol even if it was offered.
Kate brushed the briefest kiss across Castle's lips before following Martha to the door to greet her father. He gave her an extra tight hug.
"I'm proud of you, Katie," her father whispered to her. "And if your Mom was here, she'd pulling out her favorite line on you."
Kate grinned. "'I told you so?' Well, she'd be right, again. Thanks for coming tonight, Dad."
"Like I'd pass this up," he replied with a grin, moving with her towards the main room, and greeting Alexis and Castle.
"I'm pleased you made good on what we talked about in spring, Rick. Finally," he added with a twinkle, evidently getting a little too much amusement out of making digs at Castle, the jesting smile dropping from his face as he shook his future son-in-law's hand, suddenly serious. "Welcome to the family, Rick." He exchanged a glance with Martha, the beaming smile back on his face.
Martha quickly teamed up with him, though, and as Jim got equal enjoyment out of seeing his daughter squirm, too, the meal was quickly off to an uproarious start as they began trading tales, nobly backed by Alexis, as Kate found herself staring at Castle, trying to imagine how different and empty her life would be if he hadn't convinced the Mayor to let him follow her all those years ago.
Jim couldn't stay too late – he wasn't naturally an evening person, and he had work the next morning – and Martha was meeting some friends who were currently in a show for some post-performance drinks, so as the evening wound down, they headed out together. Alexis stuck around long enough to help with the dishes, then disappeared upstairs, leaving Kate and Castle alone together for the first time since his unexpected proposal earlier in the afternoon.
She placed the last dish away just as he finished wiping down the counter, then he gently wrapped his arms around her.
"You don't have to stay if you don't want to," he said quietly. She drew back to look at him, but he didn't meet her eyes.
"Why wouldn't I want to stay? Where's this coming from?" she asked.
He shrugged.
"I just don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you into anything," he mumbled.
"You're not. Not at all. Castle, I want to be here – with you," she emphasized, and he nodded slowly, as if he didn't quite believe it, but was going with it anyway.
Reaching up, she smoothed then re-smoothed the fabric of his collar, more as an excuse to touch him than anything else. "I could really go for one of your hot chocolates right about now," she hinted, deliberately pitching her voice a little lower and huskier than usual.
His eyes darkened, but he nodded, leaning forward to kiss her temple before moving away.
She watched him work, his newly defined muscles playing under his shirt, causing a humming in her abdomen, making her mouth go dry.
It was almost a relief when he turned and presented her with a mug. Her eyes slammed shut for a moment while she got herself under control as best she could, but her blood was still singing.
When she opened them, he was looking at her with concern, but she managed to put her poker face on. She nodded toward the couch, her eyebrows raised in question, and he led the way. They settled so they were almost facing each other, not quite touching.
She took a tentative sip of her hot chocolate, enjoying the smooth, sweet slide of the liquid. Her eyes fluttered shut, and she let out a quiet, appreciative moan.
The cushions next to her alerted her to Castle shifting his weight slightly, and the sound of him clearing his throat made her eyes pop open.
His eyes were dark with tortured desire, and while in other situations she would have placed her mug aside and allow him to draw those sounds from her again, they really needed to have this conversation.
"Sorry," she mumbled.
He smirked at her, as if she'd done it on purpose, but then became serious. "So what happens now?"
"Now as in this evening? Or now as in some of those questions you asked me at the swings, before dropping to one knee and changing everything?" she threw him a teasing, flirtatious smile, and his lips curved upwards in response. Good.
"Both...?" he asked ruefully.
She reached out her hand, palm up, inviting him to touch her. He slid his hand into hers without hesitation, watching her carefully.
"Tonight, we talk, we try to repair some of the damage, and hopefully we get sleep at some point. As for the future..." she trailed off, still not confident in articulating the things she most deeply desired.
"I want you here, with me." The words burst out of him, as if he couldn't hold them in any more.
She bit her lip in a vain attempt to hold her grin back. "Me, too," she replied softly, and his relief was palpable. "What else do you want?" she asked, hoping he had regained enough trust in her to answer honestly.
"You," he said simply.
Heat flooded her at his words, the memory of the night they first crossed that line seared into her memory.
He wasn't done, though. "Honestly, Kate, it will be a while before this summer doesn't hurt to think about, but if I can roll over in the middle of the night and see you lying beside me, every night... that will heal me more fully than any promises."
She placed her mug on the coffee table, and he mirrored her actions, picking up on her intent to scoot closer. She sighed as she snuggled into him, allowing his strong arms to settle around her.
"Funny, isn't it?" she pondered aloud. "I struggle with words, but I listen to them over your actions. You're brilliant with words, but you're healed by what I do, not what I say."
He stroked her cheek, tilting her face gently so that he could look her in the eye. "Then know this: I love you, Katherine Beckett. I will keep loving you til the day I die, no matter what. I want you here beside me, no matter what comes our way, for the rest of our lives. I won't survive losing you again. And everything else comes second to that."
She grinned, trying her best to blink back the emotion that filled her in the face of his gentle sincerity. "Please understand everything I'm trying to say here in response to that," she said, rising up so she could maneuver herself into his lap, a knee on either side of his hips. Then slowly, slowly, she leaned in and captured his lips with her own, beginning with soft, teasing brushes, then deepening the kiss, allowing him to sweep her tongue with his, pouring all her love for him into the way their mouths were merging.
When they broke apart, she tilted her forehead into his, gazing into his eyes as best she could at this proximity.
"That was one hell of a ditto," he grinned, his eyes dropping to her lips before flicking back up to meet her gaze.
She pressed in to steal one more kiss from him. "I love that you understood that, and I know I'm not always good with words, but can you push me to use them anyway? Because I want to spend my life with you at my side for the rest of our days, too, but we really do need to work on communicating more. If even one of us had spoken at the start of summer instead of hiding, we could have saved ourselves so much pain."
He nodded. "If you promise not to run, and I promise to give you space when you need it, and we both use real words...?"
She grinned. "Exactly."
Sliding off his lap and standing, she held her hand out to him. He raised an eyebrow at her.
"Why, Detective Beckett, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were propositioning me," he teased, but he took her hand and stood, crowding into her once he was on his feet. She shivered as he wrapped his muscular arms around her, her earlier arousal blazing in the pit of her stomach as he ghosted his palms downs her arms and across her back.
Biting her lip in a deliberate mirroring of her actions over a year ago on their first night together, she took his hand in hers and led him to the bedroom.
She released him once she reached the bed, glancing back over her shoulder as he firmly closed his bedroom door, then slid his arms around her from behind, nosing her hair off one shoulder so that he had access enough to graze his lips down the side of her neck and along her shoulder.
She had never been so grateful for his arms around her, as her knees were already showing every sign of giving out.
She turned in his arms, suddenly eager to have her hands on him.
Their lips came together again and again, fierce and hot, seeking and reassuring and stroking and loving. She reached for his shirt, began to nimbly unbutton it so that her seeking fingers had more access to the delicious skin of his torso.
She broke her mouth away from his as she pushed the shirt off his shoulders, barely noticing as it fluttered to the floor.
He had a hell of a lot more muscle definition than last time they had done this.
She couldn't stop her fingers from reaching out, touching the heated skin of his stomach, slowly trailing her hands north. He was still her Castle, still everything she wanted, no matter what physical condition he was in... but the fact that he was in such great shape was definitely doing it for her.
Then she remembered her own thickening figure, and froze, suddenly unable to move or look him in the eye.
"Kate?" Of course he noticed right away.
She swallowed. "You just... you look really good," she said.
He swept her hair behind her ear, tilting her face up in a silent request to raise her eyes. When she did, she was surprised to see so much sadness in his.
"Losing you was different to every other break up I've ever been through. The thought of one night stands to get you out of my system tasted like dust, and whenever I had scotch, I was reminded of your father, and I just... couldn't. So I took up jogging, and later, on tour, weights. Maybe I was trying to outrun everything. I think, subconsciously, I was just..." he shrugged miserably, his words descending into a mumble she struggled to decipher. "I was trying to be good enough for you."
She surged up into him, her mouth meeting his in a hot, fierce kiss, her fingers gliding up his toned torso, tripping over his shoulders and the back of his neck, up into his hair.
"Never say that, Castle. Never even think it. If anything, it's that I don't deserve you. Never the other way around, do you hear me," she whispered against his lips.
He gazed at her with what could only be described as wonder. "How can you even say that?"
She snorted. "How many times have I pushed you away, Castle? The only sin you've committed in this relationship is loving me too much. I'm the one that gets scared and runs. And while we've been apart, you look like this now, and I..." she shut her mouth with a snap, but it was too late.
"You think I find you less attractive now? Are you crazy?" he asked, looking genuinely bewildered. She dropped her eyes, trying not to shuffle her feet as he stared at her. "Kate, do me a favor? Take off your clothes," he commanded, his voice tender but assertive.
She shivered, her fingers rising to her buttons, his authoritative tone totally doing it for her, but she still couldn't bring herself to look at him.
Last time he had seen her like this, she was lithe and firm, smooth planes and toned stomach. Now, her breasts were fuller, and her stomach...
She dropped her shirt, then discarded her pants, standing straight once she had kicked them to the side, and she heard him gasp.
"Kate," he breathed, his voice full of awe. One of his hands reached out to oh so gently caress the bump of her stomach, where their little one was hidden away. Goosebumps erupted on her skin at his touch.
Turning them both so that he could perch on the side of the bed, he guided her to stand between his knees, leaning forward to tenderly kiss her slightly expanded stomach. She placed her hands on his shoulders to keep her balance, her whole being trembling with a desire that burned.
He looked up at her, even as his fingertips skimmed from her hips to her abdomen, then slowly, slowly up to test the weight of her breasts.
"I used to think you could never be more beautiful than our first night together, but Kate..." his eyes were unabashedly filled with unshed tears. "I've never seen anything more beautiful than you, here, in this moment – with my child here," he laid one hand over her bump in a gentle caress.
He moved his hands to her hips, then tugged her until she dropped onto the bed beside him. She allowed him to arrange her so that she was lying comfortably, then he kicked off his pants and joined her, covering her with his body, carefully holding his weight off her.
She couldn't seem to stop her fingers from exploring as much of his skin as she could reach, and he grinned down at her boyishly.
She bit her lip, staring up at him. "Love me, Castle?" she whispered.
"I already do," he replied, leaning down to kiss her, intent on showing her just how much in great detail.
He drifted into consciousness, a sense of peace enveloping him that took his sleep befuddled brain a moment to place.
Kate.
Kate was here in his bed once more.
His room smelled like her again.
He couldn't remember the last time he had slept so well, and it was because his unconscious mind knew that she was there with him.
Dragging his eyes open in spite of the morning sun pouring in, he turned his head to her side of the bed, to gaze upon her face once again, to reassure himself that she was still here.
Only, she wasn't.
She had been, all right. That side of the bed had definitely been slept in.
He dragged her pillow toward him, burying his face in it both to block out the light, and to inhale her sweet scent that lingered on the linen.
Something poked into his neck, crinkling as her squeezed the pillow.
It wasn't until he pulled it out that he realized it was a piece of paper.
A note.
Good morning, sleepyhead!
I don't really blame you. I didn't want to get up this morning, either. I've missed waking up beside you so much. Unfortunately, getting engaged yesterday doesn't get me out of work today. I didn't have the heart to wake you, although I did kiss you goodbye. Text me when you wake? And maybe join me for lunch?
I love you!
-Kate
He couldn't stop the slightly dopey grin that spread across his face as he read it. Reaching out blindly to his bedside table, he closed his hand around his phone. It was only when he went to swipe the screen that he realized there was a post-it note stuck to the screen.
I missed the silly, fun texts you used to send me when you were bored in a meeting.
Huh.
He peeled it off carefully, sticking it to the edge of the note he found on the pillow, before sending her a text message: Hey, beautiful! Sorry I missed you this morning. Loved your notes. I'll be there in about an hour. Love you!
Springing out of bed, he headed for the bathroom, but stopped short in the doorway.
There were post-its everywhere.
On the bathtub: I missed making love to you in this tub.
On the mirror: I missed watching you brush your teeth and the way you'd waggle your eyebrows ridiculously in the mirror at me.
On the vanity: I missed marking my territory on this counter by scattering my makeup across here.
On his toiletries: I missed watching you shave.
On the towel rail: I missed the way you'd wrap me up so tenderly.
On the glass of the shower: I missed the way you would slip in here behind me and take me against the tiles.
On Bobba Fett: I didn't miss this guy so much!
He moved around the room, collecting them carefully, before going through his morning routine.
Once he was finished, he moved back out to the main bedroom, only to discover post-its he'd missed in his haste to get to the bathroom. Some were sexy, some were playful, some were hot as hell, some made him want to laugh or cry or just gather her up in his arms and hold her tight.
Every one of them held an insight into her mind, something that had been on her mind during their summer apart.
Once he was dressed and ready, he wandered out through his office, only to discover even more post-its, the bright colors littering practically every surface.
He laughed, just as his phone buzzed in his hand.
Incoming call from Kate.
"Hey," he answered, grinning. "I just stepped into my office."
Her laughter lifted his heart, made it soar. "I didn't want to just leave you there this morning," she replied.
"You kidding? This is amazing! How long did it take you?" he asked.
She made an adorable little humming noise. "About half an hour, maybe? I was too happy to sleep in this morning," she added, her tone confiding.
He ached to see her, to hold her again. He would never get enough of her.
"Is it okay for me to leave these, and we can read them together when we get home? Maybe even act a few of them out?" He waggled his eyebrows, positive she would hear it in his tone.
He could hear the amusement in her voice as she answered. "So long as it means I get to see you sooner. And I doubt you would have come across the ones I left upstairs, am I right? Oh, and can you bring me a bacon and egg bagel? I can't stop thinking about them this morning!"
He grinned. "Of course. And a hot chocolate, too?"
She sighed blissfully. "Get here soon, Castle," she instructed firmly.
"Will do."
"Oh, and Castle?" she hesitated, her tone softer, suddenly shy. "You get what I was trying to do, right? With the notes?"
"Make up for my letters? You didn't have to Kate," he replied, his heart swelling at the precious gift she had given him.
"I wanted to. I want you to know everything, even the things I struggle to say," she said.
"Tonight," he promised her. "Together."
"Together," she affirmed, then, "Bring me breakfast, Castle," and she hung up.
Ignoring the siren song of the notes around him, he headed for the door.
After all, she was coming home with him at the end of the day.
A/N: There we have it, the final chapter! That only took almost exactly a year to complete! A short epilogue should be coming along in a day or three. Thank you so much to everyone who has responded to this story in some way, especially to all you reviewers – your words have spurred me on so many times when I was tempted to give up. From the bottom of my heart, thank you! Special thanks to Jo, Katherine, and CB, who have all three put up with so much from me over the course of this story – I adore you all! *HUGS!*
Thoughts?