A/N: I'm just going to apologize now for everything that is going to happen soon as I'm sure it will upset/piss off/sadden/anger/etc. some of the readers out there. The story kinda took on a life of its own and this is what happens when it does that.

I promise everything is going to turn out great in the ending so please bear with me!

Chapter 15

"It's been weeks and we have heard nothing about the Winter Soldier. No movements, no hint on his whereabouts, no plans he might have: nothing." Fury mused as he paced at the head of the table he had gathered his Avengers team.

Zaria was sitting next to Steve at about as far away from Fury as she could get and still be sitting at the table as she mulled over something in her head. "Has there been any political figurehead anywhere in the world that has been interfering with... anything?"

Fury turned his attention to her as he put his hands on the back of the chair he should have been sitting in. "What do you mean?"

"Has there been any big political pushes for anything that might affect the country or world at large?"

Fury thought for a moment, standing back and crossing his arms over his chest. "Not something as dramatic that would fit your qualifications, why?"

"Well Russia used him as a political assassin, taking out targets that would affect things they didn't agree with. Well not Russia as a whole, but whatever group that has been using him would do so, which is why he isn't just used in Russia or its allies, he's been everywhere." Zaria sat forward as she thought about the papers she had seen from her grandmother. "In the papers my Bubulya brought over from Russia there was something about how he was... unstable. I think that's the best English translation of the word."

"What does that mean?"

Zaria pursed her lips. "It's been a long time since I looked at the document or translated them to English for any reason but if I remember correctly the notes from the scientists made a passing reference that his mind was... unstable? Not quite right, I guess. The longer he was out in the field the more he seemed inclined to... disobey orders. He would be... forgetful or confused. So when he was done with a mission he would be... put back to sleep."

"Put back to sleep..." Fury echoed. "What does that mean?"

Zaria stared at the table her eyes moving back and forth as if she was reading and her hands moved as if she were shuffling papers that weren't there.

"Zaria." Fury demanded.

"I think she's reading." Steve answered for her.

"I think..." Zaria started as she blinked rapidly and pressed the palm of her hand to her forehead. "Some of the pages are personal notes of the scientists that worked with and on the Winter Soldier and they make reference to cryostasis. I think they freeze him when he's not out assassinating someone for them."

"Now why would they do that?"

"He's as old as Steve." Zaria answered honestly, shooting Steve an apologetic look. "If he wasn't basically kept on ice he would have been retired and possibly have passed on by now."

"But that doesn't explain the "unstable" part of their notations. Also, these documents sound far too important not to be in the hands of S.H.I.E.L.D. and I would like to have them in our hands for review."

Zaria sat back and crossed her arms over her chest. "No."

Fury stared at her. "No?"

"You heard me."

"And why not?"

"First, they're in Russian, and before you try to tell me that you have an Agent who speaks Russian, her original family name is on the documents so I would rather not let her touch them mostly as a safety precaution seeing as my grandmother risked her life to get them out of Russia. No offense to Agent Romanoff. Also, my grandmother was the one to get them out of Russia and they will stay with the rest of her stuff."

"And is this is not a request?"

"Then I will gladly tell you to kiss my ass and go to hell with a sweet smile on my face as they are not going anywhere. My grandmother didn't give them to your government when she came over I will not go against her wishes and give them to you now. It's not like I'm going to sell them or anything. Besides, how do you even know I still have them? My apartment did blow up and I have been told there was nothing salvageable from the explosion."

Fury glared at her, but as he had no proof that she still did have the documents he really wasn't able to argue with her at this time. "So are you telling me he's gone until they decide to use him again?"

"Pretty much." Zaria answered as she pursed her lips and tried to think about the documents again. "I don't have a name... Wait... I do have a name. A General Vasily Karpov and his protégé Aleksander Lukin... They were in command of the Winter Soldier project."

"I recognize those names from when I was in Russia." Natasha spoke up.

"What do you know about them?" Fury asked as he turned his attention to Natasha.

"General Karpov is dead now and General Lukin went rogue with everything he was working on when the USSR collapsed. Your missing Winter Soldier is probably in his possession and probably not under direct command of Russia anymore."

"So he could be anywhere, working for anyone."

"It's got to be for someone who can supply a cryostasis chamber without anyone looking twice. Also," Zaria paused as she tried to think of the notes she had. "I think... I don't think whatever they did to him to either make him forget or keep him from remembering his life before Russia was fully successful. I may have translated it wrong, but I think he was "unstable" because the longer he was free the more he would remember and the more the two conflicting information would take its toll on his mind."

"So if we get him away long enough he might remember everything?" Steve asked, trying not to sound hopeful.

"It's plausible," Zaria admitted as she chewed on her lip. "But it's more likely that if he either doesn't go back in cryostasis or at least get extreme medical help as soon as possible it will just deteriorate his mind to the point where there would be no help for him."

Steve looked almost crestfallen at the information, though he tried hard to hide it. She slid her hand under the table and took his, squeezing gently. She knew how much his friend meant to him even if she would rather see the man dead.

We'll look into what we can do." Fury said after a moment of contemplation. "If we could save him he would make a good ally. He may even be able to give us valuable information. Barton, Romanoff, see about finding any information you can about this Lukin. Find out where he might be hiding, who he might be working for; anything that will give us a clue for his next attack. Everyone else you're dismissed until we have more information."

Zaria released Steve's hand as she turned her chair and stepped away from the table. "I'll join you in the hangar in a moment." She said to Steve as she disappeared down one of the many hallways on the Helicarrier.

Finding an empty sleeping quarter she slipped in and locked the door quickly before walking into the attached bathroom. Shutting the door to the bathroom and locking it as well she reached into her pocket and pulled out a plastic wrapped item: a pregnancy test.

"I can't believe I'm doing this..." She muttered as she pulled open the applicator, stuffed the trash into the bin after wrapping it up in some toilet paper, popped off the applicator's cap and proceeded to use the test. Flushing the toilet she put the cap back on, made sure the thing was clean and sat it on the sink as she washed her hands. She watched the blinking hourglass as she counted the time down to the two minutes the test said it would need to give her an answer. She started pacing halfway through the first minute.

"This is so stupid." She growled to herself as she scratched her head. "I'm just overreacting, just because I'm late doesn't mean I'm -" The test's screen flipped over to the answer and she hastily picked it up to look at it.

"Pregnant..." She finished as the air whooshed out of her. "I'm pregnant... Oh boy..."

She paced the bathroom again as she considered her options. She didn't have to tell him, she could just go to a clinic and he would never be the wiser, but that didn't seem right or fair to her. Things were going well between the two. He had her stay with him instead of finding a new place. She even brought over her grandmother's desk from the museum along with her little project so that no one else could make the same conclusions she had about him. She was happy with him, why wouldn't she want to keep the baby if she was really pregnant.

She stopped, pursing her lips as she looked at the test again. It could be a false positive she realized. Did she tell Steve she was pregnant now or wait until she had a real test to find out for sure? Puffing up her cheeks she stood there staring at the test until she finally came up with a conclusion; she'd just tell him. She'd tell him that the store bought test came back positive and it's likely she was pregnant but that they could find out for sure with an actual test from a doctor if he wanted to be thoroughly sure.

With her decision made she unlocked the bathroom, then the living quarters and headed down to the hangar where Steve would be waiting for her. He had been waiting for quite some time so she all but jogged down the halls to the hangar where she turned a corner and spotted him a ways down.

"St-"

"Steve!" An unfamiliar female voice called out to Steve.

Zaria came to a halt and hide behind the corner she had just come around, unsure as to why she had such a reaction but not able to shake the feeling that it was better if she just waited.

A petite brunette with bright red lipstick came into view not too far away from where Steve stood. She was curvy, small, but carried herself as if she were used to being in charge and telling people what to do; she also had that old time vibe that Steve seemed to carry with him

"Peggy?" Steve questioned in stunned awe of the woman before him. The woman's name was like a knife in Zaria's chest.

"It's me."

"Peggy." Her name left Steve's lips in a way that Zaria's name still had never come across. He closed the distance between them, wrapped her up in his arms and kissed her passionately.

Zaria covered her mouth as she tried not to make a sound. She fell back against the wall out of sight, her hand clutched tightly around her pregnancy test, as tears burned her eyes only to come face to face with Tony Stark.

"Tony!" She yelped. "What, what are you still doing here?"

"Same thing you are." He answered as he noticed the white stick in her hand. "What is that?"

"It's nothing." Zaria answered hastily as she tried to shove it into her pocket.

"Really now?" Tony responded curiously as he snatched it out of her hand and looked it over.

"Crap, no Tony, don't!" Zaria snapped as she tried to yank it back but he held it just out of reach.

"Oh, naughty girl." Tony teased. "Barely living with Steve and already pregnant. I think I'll take this over to him and-"

Zaria caught his arm just as he looked around the corner. "Please, don't." She pleaded.

"Whoa." Tony said in surprise. "Who's that brunette all over Steve?"

Instead of answering she pulled him back around the corner. "You will tell no one, do you hear me? No one. And you will owe me favors for reading that. Or so help me I will show you what I can do with a toothpick and your life support machine."

Tony gave her an odd look. "JARVIS, what can she do with a toothpick and the arc reactor?"

"Technically nothing, sir." Jarvis answered. "But I will look into any and all possibilities of damage done to the arc reactor with a toothpick."

"In the meantime," Zaria started as she snatched the test back from Tony as he was distracted with JARVIS. "You can help me get off this ship and to the apartment all without Steve knowing. You can also find out a way to keep him here for several hours, although I don't think that one will be as difficult."

"And why would I do that?"

"Toothpick. Arc Reactor." Zaria answered darkly. "And above all, you will tell no one, and I do mean no one, that I am pregnant. Do I make myself clear?"

Tony studied Zaria's face for a long moment making Zaria wonder if he would go against what she asked and just go out there and tell Steve. Her heart ached horribly and her eyes hurt from the struggle not to blink, not to cry. Peggy's voice echoed through the hangar up to them, making the pain more sharp, more pronounced in Zaria's chest and she wondered if Tony could see the pain she was in.

"Alright," he finally said. "Yeah I'll take you to the apartment and I won't tell Cap. Go wait over by where I park my suit, I'll just go see if I can find someone who could distract Steve for the rest of the day."

"Thank you..." Zaria choked as she turned away from him, the relief was overwhelming.

"Hey." Tony caught her arm though she didn't turn around, didn't face him, she stopped. "I'll be there in five." He finally said as he let go of her arm and left.

True to his word, five minutes later found Zaria clinging to Tony's neck as he flew himself and her off the Helicarrier's deck and towards New York. Out over the ocean Zaria dug into her pocket and pulled out the pregnancy test, looked it over once, then threw it down into the blue waters far below them.

Tony landed in front of Steve's apartment placing Zaria down gently before taking off quickly as the general populace took notice that he had shown up. She ducked inside before anyone had a chance to notice her face or ask her any questions; the doorman was staring at her, mouth agape.

"Close it," Zaria snapped as she made her way to the elevator. "And don't even ask."

She arrived at Steve's apartment, unlocked the door, and made her way inside before slamming the door, locking it, and sliding down to the ground; her knees pulled up to her chest. Her chest was tight, her heart ached, her eyes burned, but it all stemmed from something internal. No external wound could inflict so much pain upon her as she was feeling now. After long moments of silence she finally stood, went into the kitchen, picked up the phone and dialed the backline for the bar she used to work at hoping that today was a day that Joe was working.

"This is Joe." The man's gruff voice nearly made her cry when she heard it.

"Joe...?" Zaria's voice cracked and she had to stop speaking.

"Z?" Joe's voice sounded suddenly deeply concerned. "Z, honey what's wrong? What happened?"

"I uh..." She cleared her voice. "If I give you an address can you or someone come with a pickup truck and maybe some help?"

"Sure, anything you need, I'll round up Bob and Charlie. Charlie's got that big useless thing he's so proud of, that'll work right?"

Zaria laughed in spite of herself. "Yeah that'd be fine." She gave him the address to Steve's apartment.

"We'll be there soon. You're going to tell me what this is about, right?" Joe asked, coming off as that tough fatherly figure that would protect his kid no matter what.

"Soon." Zaria promised as she hung up.

Staring at the apartment she wondered what she should remove and what should stay. Although she hadn't been here long she had snuck in touches to the apartment that made it feel more lived in and less of a cold and staged apartment. Pops of bright colors covered the walls in paintings with throw pillows in colors pulled from the paintings to accent the couches. She thought about taking it, but decided against it since it made the apartment feel warmer, happier, and he would need that. So instead, she pulled all of her hair back and up into a hat she owned to keep it from getting onto anything before she went into the bedroom, ripped the sheets off the bed, threw them into the washing machine, started it, and went about pulling all of her clothing out of the closet.

With her clothing out and stuffed into bags from the kitchen she moved all of the spare hangars into the hall closet instead, leaving just a few in the main closet. She then went to the laundry basket and dumped the whole thing out onto the floor where she pulled her clothing out and put it into a separate bag from her clean clothing; leaving the rest on the floor for later inspection.

In the bathroom she removed any and all feminine products she had accumulated in there, tossing them into their own bag before she set about cleaning the entire bathroom from top to bottom to remove any and all traces of her, snagging the towels and tossing them into the washing machine after she had moved the sheets into the dryer. Finally she moved onto to Steve's clothing.

She was meticulous, scanning each of Steve's pieces of clothing for any of her hair and removing everything she found, putting all of the stuff that had her on it into the trash which she wrapped up and threw out into the garbage shoot. The only thing left was her grandmother's desk.

Standing there she stared at the desk, running her fingers over it gently as it was something she prized more than anything else she had ever owned was the desk her grandmother had bought. Opening the lid of the desk revealed her project that she had been working on at the museum she had been working at. It was set in neat piles chronicling everything she had been able to find on Steve Rogers the "actor". Carefully she moved them aside to clear off the workspace of the desk before she pulled open of the side draws, stuck her hand as far back as she could and flicked a little latch, popping the workspace free from the rest of the desk. Inside the space between the top of the workspace and the bottom of the desk sat a pile of yellowed paper in a manila folder.

She pulled it out and placed the workspace back onto the desk, sealing it completely before she sat her former project back inside and closed the desk. She hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should take her work as well, but finally deciding against it. Sighing she gazed at the desk, the item she loved most but the one she decided she would leave behind as she had nowhere to put it and Steve would keep it safe, if only because it was a desk as old as he was. The phone in the kitchen rang, jarring her back to the task at hand.

"Hello?" She answered nervously, hoping that it wasn't Steve who was calling.

"Is this Ms. Barnes?" An unfamiliar male voice questioned hesitantly.

"Depends on who's asking." She answered as she tried not to grind her teeth.

"This is Samuel, from the front desk. I have several men down here claiming their friends of yours that you requested to come over, is this true?"

Zaria nearly laughed. "Three large men who look like bikers?"

"Uh... Yes...?"

"Yep, that's them. They're family; they're allowed to come up." She hung up before the doorman could respond as she looked around the apartment one last time. Setting down the manila folder she went over to the dryer, pulling out the sheets and throwing the towels in to dry then spread out the sheets to inspect them for hair before she put it all back on the bed. Knocking on the door stopped her from remaking the bed. She ran over, unlocked it and pulled open.

"Hey Joe," she said with a faint smile. "Thanks for getting here so quickly."

"Anything for you, you know that. So what are we doing?"

Zaria pointed to the large pile of bags. "All that there is mine and needs to go with me since I'm leaving."

"Leavin'?" Bob piped up. "Why ya' leavin' such a nice place?"

"Shht, Bob." Charlie growled. "The girlie can do what she wants, ain't no difference if this place it nice or a hole in the wall."

Zaria smiled weakly. "It's fine Charlie. I'm just... I'm not ready to talk about it yet. I haven't even figured out where I'm going to stay until I can find a place that I can afford, if I can get a job again."

"Well shoot Z; you're always going to have a job at the bar." Joe said as he hefted some of the bags onto his shoulder. "And you can stay with me as long as you need."

Zaria smiled, tears sparkled in her eyes. "Thanks Joe. Although right now I don't think it's a good idea that I work at the bar, but I'll explain everything as soon as I can."

"Alright," Joe said with a nod and Zaria knew he would never push the subject if she wasn't ready to talk about it. "We'll just get this stuff downstairs and into the truck, you gonna need anything else?"

"No, Zaria said as she picked up the sheets and took them into the bedroom. "I'll be done in a moment."

The men left, carrying her bags that held everything she had left down to the truck they had waiting while she went into the bedroom and made up the bed as neatly as possible then hung the towels up in the bathroom, happy that she hadn't actually gone out and bought different colored towels as she had no way to make those disappear and still leave Steve with towels.

With the apartment cleared of everything that belonged to her except for her grandmother's desk, she turned to her cellphone and wiped the phone clean like she had been shown to do. So she set the phone on the counter next to the land like she looked around the room. The apartment felt nearly the same it did when she first walked in, as she was sure it should feel, but she also felt a sense of loss. She was leaving behind so much potential. It was possible that everything could be fixed, but she couldn't make Steve chose between the woman he clearly loved more than anything else in the world, and the woman who had a bad past. If Steve knew that she was possible pregnant he would do what was right, what he felt he needed to do, but that's not what she wanted. He wouldn't be happy like that, and she would definitely not be happy in that situation. So she made the choice for him. She removed herself completely from his home and would go so far as to even remove herself completely from all of it. No one would be able to find her, just as she needed it to be.

So, with her mind set and heart cold and heavy with pain she picked up her purse with destroyed credit cards inside and the manila fold with the information about her grandfather. The only thing left for her to do was leave.