Chapter 17

Steve lifted the paper that Agent Hill had given him with every name of every person Zaria had ever had contact with along with their place of work and their home address. James Rickshaw had been marked off the list quickly as the man was still in a coma in the hospital with no signs of recovery anytime soon. George and Annette had not heard from her since she had gone in with Steve to give her two weeks' notice and take her grandmother's desk with her.

The only person he hadn't tried yet was Joe, and that was for a good reason; how was he supposed to tell Joe that he had not only screwed up concerning Zaria's feelings but he had lost her too. He stood outside the apartment building that Joe lived in staring at the old brick facade trying to decide what he would say, what he would do, how he would explain things to Joe about how he screwed up. He fisted the paper in his hand, crumpling it into a balled mess and stuffing it into his pocket as he took a deep breath and walked up to the door. At the security door Steve scanned over the call buttons in search for Joe's last name and was unable to find it. Digging the paper out of his pocket he looked over the address on it then the address of the build; it was the right place.

"Hey, who you looking for?" A young kid asked as he rolled to a stop on his skateboard.

"Oh, I'm looking for a Joseph Douglas; does he live in this building?"

The kid looked confused as he tried to figure out the name. "Do you mean Big Joe? Hard core retired navy man who looks like a biker? Yeah, he lives here but his button doesn't work, I can let you in though."

"That would be appreciated." Steve said as he stuffed the paper into his pocket.

The kid tucked his skateboard up under his arm and unlocked the door. "Whatcha looking for Joe for?"

"We have a mutual friend." Steve answered evasively.

"Cool, cool." The kid commented as he swung the door open. "He's two floors up in twenty eight oh seven."

"Thanks." Steve quickly departed for the stairs to avoid any further comments from the kid. He climbed the two flights of stairs to the landing and walked along the hallway until he found the apartment number in question. Taking a deep breath he steeled himself before he knocked on the door.

Squealing issued from the other side of the door as the pounding of running feet reverberated loudly into the hall as someone approached. More loud footsteps followed close behind giving Steve the idea that the first set was smaller and younger and the other set was from someone older or taller.

"Tanya, don't open that door!" A slightly familiar female voice called from behind the door.

"But someone knocked!" A younger voice answered as the door handle wiggled.

"Tanya I said no! You know you're not allowed to answer the door!"

The door pulled open and down below the doorknob was a small girl with bright eyes, curly hair, and a big smile on her face.

"Hi Mister!" She chimed loudly.

"Tanya!" Tanya was scooped up out of view by an older girl. "What did I tell you?"

"But he knocked."

"I don't care if your grandfather knocks on this door, you are not allowed to open the front door, and do I make myself clear?"

"Um, excuse me." Steve said as he cleared his throat to get their attention. "I'm looking for a Joe Douglas, does he live here?"

"Yeah he lives here but he ain't here right now." The older girl answered as she turned her attention to Steve and looked a little stunned. "He, uh... He's at work." She stumbled over her words a little.

Steve pursed his lips as he looked at her, something about he just seemed so familiar. The girl was on the thin side, she looked almost a little sickly, but her sheet-like straight red hair was bright as it fell below her shoulders with fringe around her face that almost completely covered her left side, and her eyes were a very familiar color; a color that was neither blue nor green and would have been right at home on the face of his friend Bucky Barnes.

"Zaria?" Steve asked feeling confused and shocked.

"Hey mister that's not her name! Her name is Jenny!" Tanya shouted in that loud kid voice.

"Tanya, go play with your sister in the living room." The girl that could be Zaria said as she set the little girl down.

"But I don't wanna!"

"You'll go play with your sister or you'll go sit on your hands in the kitchen. Grown-ups have to talk." The girl responded as she turned her attention to the small child.

"I hate poopy grown-up talk." Tanya muttered as she stamped off in a huff.

"It's you, isn't it?" Steve asked when the little girl was out of sight.

Zaria nodded as she crossed her arms. "So how'd you find me?"

"I, we- we didn't." Steve answered. "We were trying to look for clues about your location. You're going by Jenny now?"

"Yeah, figured it was the easiest way to avoid you finding me."

"But why? Why go to all this trouble to disappear? Why even disappear in the first place? Do you know how worried I was because you were gone?! I thought-"

"Worried?" Zaria scoffed as she tucked her hair behind her ear; there was a fresh scar running across her left cheek. "You were worried about me? Really? I find that hard to believe."

"We all were worried!"

Zaria laughed; it was a harsh bitter sound. "You were all just worried because I was the only link to my grandfather and I had all the information on how he turned out the way he did."

"That's not why at all! One moment you were there, you were fine, and then you were just gone! There was nothing left from you except the desk, it was like you completely vanished from existence. Why?! I don't understand at all why you would do that!" Steve had grabbed Zaria's arms and was all but shaking her as he demanded an answer.

"You're hurting me." She hissed as she shook his hands from her arms.

Steve stepped back as he tried to compose himself. "Just... why?"

Zaria looked away as she tucked her hair back again as if had come loose. "Look, I was really happy with you for that time, but it was obvious, painfully so, that I wasn't... up to par. When P- when she showed up I knew it was over between us and I wasn't going to stand in the way. I have no clue how in the hell she's alive and not at the age of like ninety something, and right now, honestly, I don't want you to tell me either. You were just going to tear yourself up over having to make a decision between me and her, and it's more than a little obvious who would have won that one."

She sighed as she stared at him. "Look, just... let me live in peace. Don't tell your annoying as all hell "Director" where I am. I don't want any trouble, I doubt your friend is going to come looking for me with my new name and if he does I'll just disappear again; I'm pretty good at that."

Steve pursed his lips as he stared at her. Emotions warred within him as he tried to decide what he should do. Clearly she wanted to be left alone, but could he, in good conscious, leave her alone knowing that it was more than a little possible that her grandfather would be back to kill her? And not to mention how weak she looked now. The cut on her face should have healed completely over without a trace and yet it was puffy and pink like a new scar. He went back and forth with indecision, wavering between honoring her request and dragging her back with him to the ship so Samantha could look her over and make sure she was okay. What was the right choice? The moral choice, the "good" choice.

"Jenny, are you ready to go? We don't want to be a late for that appointment. I'm so excited we get to find out the gender today!" Another female voice called from down a hall. "Are you going to- oh," she stopped when she saw Steve in the doorway. "Am I interrupting?"

"No." Zaria answered harshly.

"Yes." Steve answered at the same time.

Zaria shot a look at Steve but the look on his face told her she was no longer going to get the easy way out of this. "If you could grab my bag from the other room and fill my up another bottle of water, I'll be ready about the time you get back to the door."

"Sure..." The new woman eyed Steve suspiciously. "Do you need me to call my dad...?"

"No," Zaria responded quickly. "No, Joe doesn't need to come home to handle this, I got it. Just, give me a moment okay?"

"Okay sure, but if I get back and you still got that look on your face I'm gonna go get dad's shotgun." With that the other woman turned and disappeared down the hall.

"Are you going to the doctors?" Steve questioned, concerned.

"Not that it's really any of your business, but yes, I am." Zaria answered, crossing her arms under her chest.

"What did she mean by "gender"?"

"If you don't know, then you really don't want to know. Is that all? Are we done here?"

"Are you... You're pregnant, aren't you? Aren't you?" Steve questioned with rapid words as it dawned on him what it could mean.

Zaria hit her head against the door. "Yeah, I'm pregnant."

"How - How long?"

"You don't want to know the answer to the question."

"Were you- were you pregnant before you met me?"

"... No..."

Steve nearly stumbled as it felt as if the floor suddenly dropped out from under him. "It's mine, right? You're pregnant with my child, right?"

Zaria left out a long, slow breath. "Yes, the child is yours."

"Why didn't you tell me? Is this why you disappeared? This wasn't your choice to make! I would have-"

Zaria held up her hand to stop him from continuing. "I know what you're going to say and I'm going to stop you right there. I am not an obligation. I don't need you to "do what's right" because that would have made both of us miserable. You clearly love her more than you loved me and if I had told you that day that I was pregnant you would have chosen me, I know that. You would have made a great father, and you would have tried to be a good husband, but we both know how that would have ended. I don't want you to forsake your feelings just because I happen to be pregnant with your child. This is the twenty-first century, women raise children alone all the time. It's not that difficult anymore.

"I know you're probably going to want to be in the child's life, but right now I have to request that you aren't. I don't think I could be okay with seeing my child around... her... I know I made my choice to leave, I know that I didn't give you an option to give me your opinion, but I just... can't... I can't handle any more pain. I don't want you to feel obligated to help me in anyway. I also don't expect you to never see this baby, but you have to give me time. I need time and space from you and everyone else that is involved with you. It's hard enough as it is as I'm sure you've noticed by now, I can't- I won't be able to handle anything else for a while."

"Hey Jenny, are you ready to go...?" The woman from earlier asked as she reappeared. "Kelly is going to watch Tanya so we don't need to take her with us."

Zaria looked at Steve, who probably looked as stunned as he felt, and then nodded. "Yeah," she answered softly. "Can't be late for the appointment."

The other woman made her way past the bewildered Steve, eyeing him as she did, and waited on the landing for Zaria.

Zaria moved Steve back and shut the door to the apartment, locking it as she did, before turning back to Steve. "When I am ready I will find you. I'll try not to wait long before finding you, of letting S.H.I.E.L.D. find me. Just... give me time to get over the pain of losing something I thought I would have for a very long time."

With that she left, leaving Steve standing there to process everything. Still at a loss for words and not able to find the strength to run after her and demand more answers or that he be involved in all of this he turned and slowly made his way down the stairs and out of the building. He walked down the street, hands in his pockets, mulling over what Zaria had said to him. He wanted to hold it all against her, it was her choice to leave in the first place so why tell him he couldn't be around, but he could see the pain in her eyes, pain that he himself had put there with his carelessness. She was also right that he wouldn't have been truly happy with her even if he wanted to do what was right and help her raise the child, at least he wouldn't be happy enough with her now that Peggy was back.

Blaring horns snapped Steve back to reality causing him to check to see if he had walked into the street only to see a sleep silver car that was probably worth more than any of the people living on this street would make in their lifetime flip a U in front of oncoming traffic and stop right next to him: with Tony in the driver seat.

"From the look on your face I take it didn't go well." Tony said as he popped open the door for Steve to get in.

"Not really." Steve answered moodily.

Tony studied Steve's face for a long moment before he turned and pulled away from the curb in a squeal of tires and the blare of car horns; Steve gripped the security bar tightly.

"Want to talk about it?" Tony asked after a moment of silence.

"No," Steve answered sullenly.

"Well I'm here for you buddy." Tony responded.

Steve gave him a confused look. "You are usually not this caring of other people."

"Eh, I'm just trying to cheer you up. Think of it this way, if she were in the hands of your buddy we'd have heard about it by now. And if she was dead I'm sure Fury would have seen something in the obituaries since they've been looking."

"...That sounds more like you..." Steve nearly groaned.

"So how did that guy... Joe I think you said his name was how did he take it that you can't find her?"

"He, uh... He wasn't there... I didn't need to ask him if he knew where she was."

"Didn't need to? So he knows where she is? Did he tell you where?"

"I said I didn't get to ask him, didn't I?" Steve lied trying to cover up his mistake. "His daughter told me they hadn't heard of her."

"Of her?"

"I thought I said from her." Steve lied again.

Tony shot him a sideways look with a smug smile. "I guess I misheard you."

Several hours later and the doorbell rang for the second time in one day at the Douglas residence and for the second time little feet smacked the old wood floor to race to open the door.

"I swear to god Tanya you are going to get a spanking!" A female voice called from behind the door just before it opened.

"Hi Mister!" Tanya called as she stared up at him.

"Well hello there, can I speak to your mommy?" Tony answered as he pointed to the redhead behind Tanya.

Tanya looked over her shoulder at Zaria. "That's not my mommy, that's Jenny!"

"Tanya, go play with your sister and do not question me this time." Zaria answered as she scooted the girl towards the hall.

"I hate poppy grown-ups..." Tanya muttered as she stormed down the hall.

Zaria crossed her arms over her chest as she glared at Tony. "So I guess Steve couldn't keep his mouth shut and told you where I was."

"No, he attempted, failed, but attempted to not let me know where you were. He just sucks at lying and I had a pretty good idea that this was where you would be from the beginning. I just didn't know you'd get caught." Tony answered as she shoved his hands in his pockets. "Grab your stuff we're going for a ride."

"And why in hell would I do that?"

"Because I know you need money for things for that baby you still plan on having and I can offer you a job that will give you more than enough money to get you into your own place under whatever name you want without having Fury figuring out it's you." Tony answered smugly.

Zaria's eyes narrowed as she seethed at him before turning around, grabbing her purse, yelling down the hall to someone else that she was going out, and shutting the door before they could answer. "You know I really hate you right now, right?"

"I wouldn't expect anything less."

They were speeding through the streets of New York faster than Zaria was comfortable with. She scowled at Tony as she hunkered down into the seat and tried not to be noticed as she was clearly not dressed well enough for such a fancy car as Tony was. Not that she could be really noticed at the speed they were going, she still wasn't willing to risk it; especially with Tony's known flair for the dramatics and the paparazzi.

"Where are we going?" Zaria asked darkly.

"My tower."

Zaria stared at him, stupefied. "Your tower... The tower that S.H.I.E.L.D. has basically hijacked from you to use as a base of operations at times... The tower that is one giant glaring obviously ridiculous piece of self-appreciation that you built to yourself is where you're taking me? And you think no one will be able to find me there...?"

"Relax, I have everything covered." Tony swerved into the parking lot of the tower.

"I hope you do..." Zaria muttered as she got out of the car when he parked it.

Tony led the way to the private elevator that would take them up to the top. "Now I'm not the one who makes the decision that would as to hire you on, that's Pepper's job, although I'm sure we can work something out, but first..." The elevator dinged and the doors opened silently to reveal one large room with several people standing around in it.

In the time they stepped off Zaria noticed Pepper looking pissed, Steve standing off to one side with a brunette and Tony looking positively pleased with himself; she'd been duped.

"Zaria?" Steve asked, stunned to see her there. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing, but I won't because I already have the answer from the look on Tony's face." Zaria answered coldly. "I should have known with you. There is no way you would ever offer me a job and still keep my secret. I thank you for reminding me why I never trusted people to begin with."

Tony raised his hands. "The job offer was real, I just think that this is a good way to settle our differences so we can all be nice to each other and move on. I don't want a stressful workplace."

"Is this that relative of Bucky?" The brunette that could only be Peggy asked Steve. "So we found her right? We can just take her back to Fury and have this whole thing over and done with and move on to more important things."

"You must be Peggy." Zaria said in an acid laced, sweet tone. "For your information I am still standing right here in the building so you clearly don't need to speak about me as if I'm not here. And so you know, there is no way you can just "take me back to Fury" so you can be "over and done" with whatever it is that you're wanting to be done with. I will not be going anywhere near S.H.I.E.L.D. or any over secret government agency ever again so good luck with that one.

"And you," Zaria turned to Steve and stared at him. "Good job at keeping where I was a secret for a whole of, what, ten minutes? Clearly Tony figured it out without much effort so I doubt that Fury is going to have any problem finding out where I was as well so now I'm going to have to go somewhere else to stay away from all of you, again."

"I don't appreciate you speaking to him in that manner." Peggy snapped. "You are the one that disappeared with valuable information and you can't just think that if you get tired of helping out you can just leave, that's not how this works."

"Nor does coming back from the dead but clearly here you are at the same age you were when Steve last knew you so don't talk to me about "how things work" honey because I can tell you a whole lot of how that's just never going to cut it." Zaria's eye twitched as she put her hand on her stomach. "We were all doing fine before you showed up and now here you are as if seventy years never passed. Steve's no better though so I can hardly blame you for the entire thing."

Zaria pinched her lips in a tight, grim line as she looked at Tony. "Thanks for this wonderfully tense and stressful situation and that job offer but I think I'm going to decline both more time here and that job offer, so if you could just tell me how I can get back to Joe's place so I can pack up and leave again that would be great. I've had enough."

"Are you alright?" It was Pepper's voice as she came over to Zaria. "You don't look well."

"I'll be fine as soon as I leave here, this has not been an easy sixteen weeks and the next twenty four will be just as difficult or even more so. So I would like to avoid any more stressful situations and just leave."

Peggy's eyes widened as she shot a look at Tony. "You knew about this and you still did this to her? Come on, I'll take you home."

Zaria followed Peggy to the elevator surreptitiously watching Pepper as she gave a foul look then held open the elevator. "Oh." Zaria stopped and turned around to see Peggy. "One more thing. Since you pretty much ruined my life I think I have the right to know how the hell are you still alive and not at the age of ninety something."

"I don't have to answer you." Peggy snapped.

"I think you owe it to me to answer the damn question before I break that pretty little nose of yours." Zaria responded with malice.

"Peggy, please. Just answer her question and she'll leave." Steve pleaded.

Peggy scowled. "I signed up for a test with the military, I was successfully cryogenically frozen and awakened recently as to the fact that they were unable to successfully awaken any of the others at the time of the test. They wanted to see if it was possible if Rogers would be able to survive if he had hit the snow caps instead of the ocean, the test was deemed unsuccessful and I was left frozen to wait until a later date to be awoken properly."

"Just wonderful," Zaria murmured. "You two can talk about being frozen together." Then she entered the elevator, the doors shutting before anyone could respond.

Pepper was watching Zaria with concern. "You're sixteen weeks now?"

"Yes..." Zaria hissed as she held her stomach. "It's been a very difficult sixteen weeks. The doctors told me to avoid any and all stressors, which is difficult when Tony dumps you into a room with your ex and his old girlfriend."

"Are you going to be alright?" Pepper placed a hand on Zaria's shoulder causing Zaria to realize she had doubled over.

"I don't honestly know..." Zaria answered as she felt something warm run down her leg. She looked down to see bright red blood running down her leg; Pepper saw it too.

"Oh my, you're... I think you're having a miscarriage. We need to get you to the hospital right now."

"Not the hospital..." Zaria gritted as her breath came out in short gasps. "It's Steve's..."

"Crap, can't have the doctors finding out about that super DNA. J.A.R.V.I.S. is Bruce in the building?" Pepper called to the A.I. system that Tony had.

"Mr. Banner is in the lab." J.A.R.V.I.S. answered.

"Stop the elevator on his floor; let him know we're coming. Tell Tony what is going on and either have him or Steve, or even you call Clint and find out if he can bring Samantha here to help." The elevator stopped, the doors whooshing open to Bruce with a rolling chair.

"It's the best I could find so quickly." He said half apologetically.

"It's better than having her walk." Pepper answered.

"Mr. Barton did not pick up should I try again?"

"Yes! Yes, try again. Try as many times as possible, we need Samantha here as of five minutes ago." Pepper answered as she helped push Zaria to an empty lab room.

"I'm sorry Zaria; this is the best we have here right now." Bruce said apologetically as he lifted her and laid her gently on the table.

"Just... just make it stop." Zaria answered as she tried not to curl into a ball.

"I'm going to try." Bruce answered honestly. "But I'm not a medical doctor and until Samantha gets here I'm not sure what's going to happen."

The elevator's doors opened to the sound of Steve's voice calling for Zaria.

"Pepper, if you would please keep them out of here, I won't be able to work with all of them panicking and that definitely won't help Zaria."

"Of course." Pepper said with a nod.

"And if you could see about getting Samantha here as fast as possible that would also be wonderful."

"I'll see if I can't have Tony go and pick her up."

Bruce nodded. "Now Zaria, I'm going to need you to help me through this because this is not going to be easy."