CHAPTER 12:
THE DESOLATE YEAR
Here's chapter 12. Hope you guys are enjoying the story and if you find it a bit dark or bleak, you can always go read my other story which is much lighter and fluffier. Quite the contrast if you ask me. As always, leave reviews and happy reading! :D
{Elsa's POV}
My eyes slowly lift open as I'm greeted by the horrific sight of my room covered in frost and icy spikes. I scurry up my feet and stand, gazing with disgust at my own creations. Why did this have to happen? Why did they have to die? Now I was alone - Anna was alone. Now, more than ever, she needs me but I can't go to her, I could lose control and hurt her. I've already done enough to hurt her, she doesn't deserve this.
A few snowflakes were falling from the roof, the frost covered almost every inch of the small room and the spikes protruded from the walls at different angles. It represented how I felt; grief, anger and dejection. What am I gonna do now? I don't have anyone. I can't be with Anna, I'll only hurt her and now that mama and papa are -
Frederick.
Yes, Frederick is still here. I still have someone to rely on. He's been gone for a few days now but he said he'll be back, I just have to wait for him. Please, come back.
Days went by and he still wasn't back. What 'business' did he have to attend to that would take this long? My anxiety was growing and the grief and loneliness were gnawing away at me. For the better part of the day I would just lay on my bed, sobbing as memories of my parents raced through my head. Their tender voice, their sympathetic eyes - I'll never see them again. They only live now in my memories but I didn't want them to. I wanted them with me, supporting me and loving me. I continued to cry until I drifted off to sleep.
A month. A month had gone by and he still hadn't returned. Had he left me? Had he thought I wasn't worth the effort? No, Elsa, those thoughts won't help. I decided that wasting my time moping and wondering on the 'what if's' will not help me in anyway. I have to go find him. Maybe, just maybe, he's there. He's taken me there almost everyday for the last few years and could be waiting there for me right now. But... how was I suppose to get there without his help?
I had spent the next few days rummaging through the library studying up on the castle. I found plans and detailed documents explaining the inner architecture of the castle. It wasn't difficult getting all these documents; I had to get them without anyone noticing otherwise they would question what I was doing and I wasn't a very good liar; they would tell Anna and I couldn't have that. I grabbed all the documents and ran to my room where I read from top to bottom, examining every bit of information on them and I had found that the castle had been built with many secret passageways that allowed people to exit out of the castle into the town without detection. According to these plans, there was one near the kitchen, in the dining hall.
I quietly made my way down to the dining hall after all the servants had retired back to their rooms. I stood in the large room looking for the secret door. The floor of the room was made of white marble with blue square shaped marble pieces in between. According to the plans, from the door I entered through, along the wall, I had to walk till I reached the 7th blue marble piece and press down on it with my foot. It took a bit of effort but I was able to push it down and I was startled when a loud noise came from the side. I looked over and on the wall parallel to me, cracks of a door were visible. I crept my way over and with some effort, I pushed it open. It was pitch black in there but luckily I had brought a lantern with me. I lighted it and went inside.
I walked for a few minutes, my anxiety growing with each step. The walls were lined with spider webs and I jumped a few times when my eyes caught sight of its creator. Eventually, I came to a dead end. Maybe the passageway had been closed off. I sighed, all this for nothing. But a voice inside me told me to inspect further and so I did. I moved closer to the wall and tried pushing it and, surprisingly, it opened. I peered outside and saw that I was outside the castle and the door was facing the town. This was my way out. I turned around and closed the passageway. I needed to be fully prepared before heading out.
The next few days I had gone over my plan. Without Frederick, I couldn't take the same path to the mountains as before so I had to find a new way. I studied the maps and was able to figure out where exactly he and I trained. I plotted out the path I had to take. Night had arrived and I was ready to leave. This was the first time I was going to leave the castle without Frederick by my side, it was frightening but thrilling at the same time. I grabbed a cloak and headed to the kitchen. Along the way I crossed the portrait of my parents that was covered by a black veil. I ran my hand on the frame. "I miss you.", I whispered and made my way to the dining hall. Same as before, I pushed down on the blue marble piece and the door revealed itself. I made it to the end and opened the door. I stepped out and breathed in the fresh air. You can do this. Conceal, don't feel.
I walked into the town, the cloak hiding my true identity, as I navigated through the streets. There were only a few people still present; drunks, the homeless and some sleazy looking people. I tried to avoid them. Luckily, I made it to the mountains without any problem and began my ascent. I pulled out the map from my satchel and followed it accordingly. It took me a few hours but I was able to find the place. Thank goodness, my feet were killing me. I looked around the area, hope brimming up inside of me to only be met with disappointment. There was nothing there, no sign of Frederick. Why had I thought he would be here? Would he really wait for me? I decided to sit there, waiting, hoping that he would show but he never did. The sun was going to rise in about an hour so I had to get back.
I had made my way back to the town and the sun was just about to rise when my arm was grasped by a drunkard. "Hey there, where you heading this early?", he slurred the words. I tried to squirm away. "Please, let me go", I pleaded with him but he only responded with a tipsy smile. "Oh come on, don't you wanna have a little fun?", he got closer to me and the smell that came off him was repugnant. I tired backing away but his grip was too tight. "Let me show you a good time.", he said as he leaned in closer to me and that's when I lost control. A beam of ice shot out of me and hit the man in the arm completely freezing it. He fell back and screamed as he clutched the frozen part. I backed away, my hands close to my chest. What had I done? Some people came out of their homes to see what the noise was about and began to circle around the man. They weren't looking at me so I made a run for it. I quickly made my way back to the secret passageway, tears rolling down my cheeks as I re-entered the dining hall. I closed the door behind me and rushed back to my room.
I lunged onto my bed, the tears still flowing. I had hurt that man. What if he dies? He may have been a drunk but he didn't deserve that. I'm a monster. I cried and cried until all my energy had been exhausted and I had fallen to sleep.
A few months had rolled by and there was still no sign of Frederick. I had clung to the idea that one day he would return but the rational part of my brain told me that he was gone and he was never going to come back. My days consisted of me learning of trade treaties, politics and other topics that I was required to know when I was to be made Queen. The idea horrified me. How could I lead these people? They didn't even know what I really was and if they ever found out, they'd hunt me down and kill me. After that day, I had never sneaked out of the castle again. I couldn't take the chance, I could hurt someone again.
Everyday, Anna came up to my room and continued to plead, begging me to come outside and be with her and she had no idea how badly I wanted to. The loneliness noshed on my insecurities till it left me in a state of complete and utter despair and agony. I needed someone. I had always turned to Frederick when such feelings came up but he wasn't here, what could I do?
It was late at night and I couldn't sleep, not with these feeling boiling inside of me. I came out of my room and without thinking, I walked over to Anna's room. I stared at it. How many times had she stood outside my room staring at the door like this? I was about to knock but hesitated. I wanted to be with her, feel her warmth but what if I lost control, what if I hurt her? I retracted my arm and held it back. I stifled back a tear and quietly crept back into my own room. I can't be with her. I'm meant to be alone.
A year had gone by. A whole year since my parents died and Frederick had abandoned me. A year since I had been thrusted into an existence of complete isolation. My heart ached every minute of every day and there was nothing that could fix it. I had spent the whole day in my room, ordering everyone to not disturb me. I wanted to be alone, it was the life meant for me. I looked at the clock and it was 8:36. Strange how Frederick left only a few seconds before news of my parents death was delivered to me. Did he know? How could he? He's not all knowing. I stare at the clock as it strikes 8:37. I let out a sigh as my head falls down. A whole year gone by.
"I miss you so much.", I whispered.
I was taken aback when I heard... coughing. I look up and my eyes shoot open as I see Frederick standing near the window with his hand covering his mouth.
"I'm flattered that you miss me but we've got more training to do.", he said as he continued to cough.
{Frederick's POV}
It isn't easy doing these things. No matter what people may think or believe, evil is necessary; it brings balance to the universe. For good to happen, evil has to take place. I am necessary evil but that doesn't mean I enjoy it. I stood at the cliff as I looked at the castle, specifically Elsa's bedroom. She had lost her parents and she needed me to be there for her but I couldn't. She has to be alone.
The future works in strange ways. For the right thing to take place, multiple contradicting circumstances have to take place. I had to train Elsa, make her believe that her powers were a gift rather than curse and then let her fall into a chasm of doubt and self hatred. I had to train her, make her understand her powers and then emotionally cripple her so that, when the time comes, she'll use her powers in the way that is needed. Creating an eternal winter is no easy feat.
But was that the only reason why I had vanished from her life? No. I needed time to study and know the future. Every minute away from Elsa, I would spend studying the future, understanding all the factors involved so that I may be able to control them in the way that benefits everyone. But, my time was divided between learning and teaching. I wouldn't call Elsa a distraction but she did take up a lot of time and it was paramount that I know everything I can about the future so I needed time and this was it. Killing two birds with one stone. I could prepare Elsa for the required future while fully comprehending it myself. Cruel but necessary.
I had traveled to a place far away from Arendelle. I was at a clearing in the middle of the forest. It was the perfect place for me. It was in the middle of summer and it was quite a beautiful day, not like it mattered though. I walked over to a tree and sat down beside it, my legs crossed. I breathed out and looked at the place around me for the last time. I closed my eyes. I had gone back to that dark place with the multiple roads and I took the one I knew was best and thus, I began to learn.
My eyes flutter open and I have to cover them with my hands to block the sunlight. My eyes had to readjust; they had been closed for a quite a while. After a few seconds, I could see clearly and, not surprisingly, I saw that it was now fall. I had sat at this place for several months. But now I knew everything. I understood all the circumstances and I knew exactly what I had to do. I stood up, coughing violently as I clutched my chest. I continued to cough. I had to get back to Elsa.
I had walked back to Arendelle, taking my time as I did. It was the eve of her parents death, the day I had disappeared from her life. Reconnecting with her will be arduous but I know that I can reconnect with her. All I need to do is come up with an excuse for disappearing. I forgot to think of one. Shit. Of all the things I saw, I couldn't see how I reconnected with her. I mentally slap myself for that oversight.
I was outside the castle and, with that tingling sensation, I was back in her room. Seems it hasn't changed. I began coughing and Elsa looks up at me, her eyes wide and filled with confusion and anger. Understandable.
This wasn't going to be easy.
I bet you're really curious as to what this 'future' is that's got Frederick like this. Well, let me tell you, you will not see it for a very long time cause it is a worlds away right now but don't worry, it'll be worth the wait. I've got something big planned. Leave reviews and if you want to know a bit about this future, you can always PM me and ask. I'll reveal a few details. :D