Sam and Castiel went back to the hotel room, while Dean went to a nearby supermarket to get some pie. Castiel sat on the edge of the bed and looked through the window. Cas had many things on his mind. The feelings he had and his inability to express them to the person he needed to say them to. Ever since he turned human, all the feelings he was still getting used to became stronger and stronger. There was a connection between Dean and him, undeniable, unbreakable connection. He knew it, Sam sensed it and all the other angels were aware of it. But maybe he didn't want to say it. Maybe it would ruin everything they held on to for the last for years.

Everything he has seen in heaven and on Earth could not measure to the feelings he had when he thought of Dean. From the very moment he had decided to save the man that didn't think he deserves to be saved, he knew it would be worth it. He saw Dean's soul, damaged and broken, lost in the pits of Hell, tired from all the torturing. He didn't doubt a second. Castiel will be his angel, he will be his guardian and save him from everything hell brought on to him.

But Cas knew, Cas knew all the things Sam and Dean could never fathom into sentences. He knew Dean, he took the broken parts of his own being and put them into one, one perfect assembly of puzzle pieces and colors that only angels could see. Cas, with the size of a Chrysler building, having powers with which he could destroy cities if he wanted to, was controlled by Dean. He was smaller than a grain of sand in Dean's presence, and Dean himself wasn't aware of it. Dean was told many times of Castiel's apparent liking for him.

"...angel in the dirty trench coat in love with you."
"He was your boyfriend first."
"See, he has this weakness, he likes you."

And my God, was that right. Dean was Cas' greatest weakness, the pebble which he stumbled upon, the rope hanging above him with the power to hang Castiel at any moment. Castiel was vulnerable within Dean's presence and felt as if he was only useful with his powers. Now, that he's human, he felt as if he meant nothing to Dean, he felt as if he was Dean's magical object that could smite anything in his way and kill anyone who thinks of hurting Dean. Put his own life in danger for this beautiful freckled green eyed man who was the puppeteer of Cas' soul, grace and anything else he had within. But now that he's human, he's trying to show Dean that he's still worth something. That Dean could feel something back only if he accepts the fact that there's someone there who cares and who would kill himself in order to save Dean's mortal life, as he did multiple times.

There was almost something a few weeks back when they got stuck in the midst of a snow storm in the middle of nowhere and Sam went away to find some help. Dean and Cas stayed in the Impala, waiting for Sam, being silent most of the time. Cas wasn't cold, he was still getting accustomed to mortal feelings. But Dean was freezing and Sam wasn't coming back anytime soon.

"Come closer, on the back seat, Dean, I still don't feel the cold."
"Shut your piehole, Cas, I'm fine."
"Dean, you are freezing and your temperature is dropping every second."

Dean fell silent and went to the back seat. Cas put his arms around the man's shoulders. Dean heard a flutter of wings and a welcoming warmth filling his entire body.

"You still have those, man?"
"Yes, Dean, my wings were always a part of me."

Dean fell asleep soon after. Cas followed him. When they woke up, they were in a different place.

"You looked too cute to be disturbed" – laughed Sam
"Shut up." – answered Dean and got out of the car, slamming the door shut. Cas was still puzzled but he guessed it was just the way Dean was.

Sam was taking out some knives out of his bag. He looked at Cas, wondering what made him so deep in thought. Was it Dean?

"What's on your mind, man?"
"Oh, nothing, just contemplating this weak human existence."
"Naturally. Is there something you would like to share."
"No, what could possibly be on my mind." – answered Cas, green eyes piercing his thoughts
"You seem" – paused Sam – "Thoughtful. You haven't really been yourself for the past few weeks."
"That is the matter, I am not myself anymore. I am a human, getting used to all these parts of being one, since there are so many."
"Well sure, but you've been watching us for thousands of years, one would think you'd understand the human machinery by now."
"You are watching them, sure. You read their minds, see how they feel, who they feel it for, you understand how their body works and why they have to perform all these daily tasks given to them by Nature and why they sleep and how they interact. But why is the mother willing to risk anything to keep their child safe and how can a person feel for another such deep feelings, well, that is another matter, how can a person feel for another so..." – Cas was suddenly lost in words, thinking of Dean
"...profoundly?" – Sam ended Cas' sentence, as if he was reading his mind
"Yes, Sam. Profoundly, indeed." – smiled Cas. He hasn't smiled in a while.

"Look, Sam, all these things, they are swirling within me and I can't seem to stop them and you can't help me really can't."
"I know that much, but is there someone who can?"

Cas thought of one person and twirled the thought of Dean in his mind and saying his feelings for him to Sam. Sam would understand. "Look, Sam..."

Castiel didn't get the chance to finish the sentence when Dean barged into the room, to find sudden silence.
"Hiya. Why so dead silent suddenly?" – asked Dean, giving puzzled looks to both Sam and Cas.

Sam and Cas shared looks and Cas curled back into his shell, continuing his staring through the window.