A/N: Wow, been a long time huh? My only excuse was that life got in the way and my writing muses decided to abandon me. This is my attempt to slowly get my writing going again. Self-Insert stuff is pretty easy writing wise. This chapter you'll start to get a feel for how sadistic and perverted Kota really is. Doing that to poor defensless little Tsuna...kufufufufufufu. As for a solid pairing? True love takes time man, with a lot of bumps and obsticles in the way. Some people are important, but nothing more than stepping stones in the long run. If you get the hint.

~That has to be Illegal (to be so cute)~

I sighed as I lied on one of the couches in the reception room. I was dead tired. I mean seriously, Hibari had me creating portals left and right. And Reborn had just kept on breathing down my neck. I knew it was because he knew something about my flame. I think he knew what it was and was leaving me in the dark. I knew in essence what it was, but not a precise name.

Reborn was just….ugh, such a sadist.

Pot. Kettle. Black.

Whatever, I'm taking a nap.

So I rolled over on the insanely comfy couch and decided to nap the rest of the day away. I was in that strange place between sleep and being awake when I heard a commotion. I groaned and rolled over onto my back, squinting my eyes open.

"Wake up."

I squeaked in pain as I was kicked in the stomach. I rolled off of the couch and onto the floor, groaning as I held a hand to my stomach.

"Who…"

I looked up and saw Reborn standing on the coffee table.

"…of course."

"Ciaossu."

Ugh fucking sadist and his habit of beating people up. I grumbled as I crawled over to one of the chairs and sat down on it. I blinked when Reborn sat himself on my lap and started to set up a coffee machine on the table. My eye twitched.

"Stop feeling tenth up, baseball bastard!"

"Haha! Sorry, sorry!"

My attention was drawn to the shouting and I was surprised to see both Yamamoto and Gokudera hovering around a sleeping Tsuna. My brows furrowed as it tried to work through what that meant. I was never good at thinking right after waking up. Something to do with low blood pressure upon waking? I never really tried to find out why.

"Hey wait, who the hell is he?"

I recognized Gokudera frowning in my direction but I wasn't quite awake enough yet to really respond. So I just covered up the yawn that came over me with a hand and leaned further back into the chair I was in. I'm sure if I just moved around a bit I could just fall back asleep…

My efforts were thwarted when Reborn hit me over the head.

"No sleeping baka-Kota."

I grumbled, sending a pathetic glare the baby's way (he got awesome grades; why did he call him baka?), before leveling it more fiercely at the silver haired idiot.

"Someone who was here first, silver-haired-idiot…and really wants to go back to sleep…"

That last part was grumbled and meant mainly for the baby in my lap, but I was ignored like I thought I would be. I pouted and my mood soured. I hated when my naps were interrupted. So I was rightly grumpy when having to interact with anyone.

"WHO'D YOU CALL A SILVER-HAIRED-IDIOT?!"

I decided to be childish and ignore him, focusing more on Reborn and his coffee.

"Oi, I want a cup."

"Don't ignore me!"

Well sorry buddy, but coffee is more important than you right now. I was handed Reborn's own cup, surprisingly, and stared at him weirdly before taking a sip. I wasn't prepared for the strength of the caffeine content. It was like it was straight espresso or something! I handed him back the cup hurriedly before leaning over the side of the chair and coughing.

"Oh god what is in that?!"

"Top Secret."

I moaned as I felt the caffeine rush through my body, which I was sure now had more than caffeine in it. Fucking baby…

But as I felt energy return to my body and my mood brighten (as well as feel like I could do anything and not fail), I decided the taste was worth it. My eyes slid over the Reborn's coffee maker skeptically. If he ever mass produced that stuff…he could make a fortune…

No…chances were there was something illegal in the brew…fucking baby…drugging me with no second thought…shit was probably laughing at me behind that creepy fedora.

It was after the caffeine (and possible illegal substances as well) ran through my system that I realized where I was, who I was with, and what exactly was bound to happen. I grabbed Reborn, stood up, set him back down, before running behind the couch Tsuna was on to hide. Hopefully he wouldn't see me when he came back…oh god…I did not want to be beat up!

"Hey what are you—"

No sooner than Gokudera spoke had the door to the room slid open, leaving the two idiots to their fate. Sorry guys, my ass is more important than yours.

"What is this?"

The bringer of their doom had arrived.

"Hah?"

Hibiari's eyes narrowed into slits and I knew he was in a mood. I slid further behind the couch, trying to make myself as invisible as possible, as the sounds of Hibari beating up the two echoed throughout the room. The sound of metal slapping against flesh and bodies flying into walls sent a nervous sweat down my back and I started to really hope he wouldn't find me and turn his attentions towards me.

I was preparing myself to warp somewhere safe when I felt the couch I had been hiding behind suddenly fly off into the wall, knocking me through the air along with it, landing in a heap beneath the couch, incredibly lucky to be caught in the small recess the couch created against the wall and not under the hard bottom.

I groaned as I cursed my luck, shifting around trying to get my bearings together when another groan that was not my own sounded, alerting me to a weight that was lying on top of me. I propped myself up on my elbows to get a look (wincing at the pain in my back as I did so) and blinked at the site of fluffy brown hair.

Oh. Tsuna had been lying on that couch, hadn't he?

"Oi."

I tried to be as gentle as possible as I shook his shoulder. His smaller form was completely on top of mine, head buried in my chest, hands clutched in the fabric of my shirt, and legs tangled with my own. It was a surprisingly…comfortable weight. Warm too.

"Hey," I tried again "you okay?"

His head lifted up and confused amber eyes stared up into mine, uncomprehending. I smiled in an attempt to comfort him and soon his eyes widened in recognition. It was really quite amazing watching emotions fly across his eyes, those amber orbs intensively expressive as they portrayed his growing embarrassment. Even more amusing was the growing blush on his face as well as the way his (kissable) lips opened in a surprised 'Oh.'

I shifted as he continued to just stare at me in a stupor, getting a little uncomfortable from leaning on my elbows, moving my legs to lessen the growing pins and needles. It was the movement that broke him out of his stupor apparently, fingers clenching in my shirt as a small gasp escaped him, head dropping back down to my shirt to hide, what I assumed, was his growing blush.

"Tsuna?"

I shifted further, the cramped space beneath the upturned couch starting to annoy me, and bent one of my legs to get more leverage. Tsuna's squeak and the suspicious stiffness that I now felt against my hip made me freeze. Was that…?

Oh boy.

I chuckled nervously and my hand twitched against the slim shoulder it was holding on to. Wait, what, what am I supposed to do? How even…? Was he having a wet dream while he was sleeping or something…? Oh god, this is too awkward.

"U-Um…A-Ano…th-that i-is…"

The shouting and beating of Tsuna's friends outside the protective bubble of the couch seemed distant as Tsuna remained frozen atop me, no doubt dying from embarrassment at being caught atop another male with a hard-on…wait…

I took another look at Tsuna's face, trying to catch his eye but the first year kept looking anywhere but at me. There was what looked suspiciously like tears forming and it was then I started to suspect what was starting to form within my mind. I just needed to confirm it.

"Hey…"

I felt both sorry and sadistically amused as I gently gripped Tsuna's chin with my hand, moving his face so he had no choice but to look into my eyes. It was surprisingly easy for me to adopt a comforting smile, trying to reassure the desperate look on Tsuna's face. I could practically feel his whole body shaking. I may have been testing a theory, but I couldn't help but want to comfort him at the same time.

I shifted my eyes down to his mouth as I ran my thumb along the bottom lip, watching intently as he flinched and closed his eyes, looking so damned defenseless as his lips quivered under my touch. But fuck if I wasn't starting to respond to him, this kid was damn dangerous.

It's like he expects me to kiss him…

Ah. He thought I was going to kiss him. It confirmed my suspicions; Tsuna had a crush on me. It was both shocking and…incredibly tempting. A whimper escaped him and I felt my control snap. What could one kiss hurt?

"Itadakimasu…"

I closed the distance and pressed my lips to his softly, savoring the warmth and feel of his petal-soft lips. The contact sent a pleasant static across my own lips and I was tempted to poke my tongue out to get a taste, but knew I should probably let the kid off easy. I didn't want to overwhelm him all at once and waste his precious innocence. With one last caress of my lips against his I pulled away, enjoying the dazed look on his face as he slowly came out of the trance.

Damn…I might have to do that more often.

I was actually going to go in for another one when the couch above us was ripped away by a furious Hibari, tonfas out and heavy with Yamamato's and Gokudera's blood.

Oh yeah. Him.

We were both frozen in shock and fear, sweat dripping down our backs.

Shitshitshitshitshit.

"Molesting a senpai, dame-Tsuna? Tsk, tsk, tsk."

So not needed Reborn! (In fact, it was the other way around…)

"Sawada Tsunayoshi…I will bite you to death."

"HIIIIEEE!"

Tsuna jumped off me to get away from Hibari and I wasted no time scrambling up to try and run away myself. Tsuna may be cute, but there was no way I was going to take a tonfa for him. Hibari was ass fuck scary. No. Thank you.

I was thwarted however when Reborn kicked me in the head, really quite hard, and I blacked out. Manly like.

Fucking baby.

A/N: Was going to make this longer, buuuuuut. I didn't want to rush my muse. My writing engine is rusty. Gotta get it lubed up. Plus that was a nice place to end it.