A/N: Thank you to everyone who's faved, reviewed and followed the story so far! Now, onto the next chapter!
Warning: There is a brief description and talk of an anxiety attack.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers nor the song featured.
Chapter 2
The elevator ride to the garage is a less than joyous affair and Tony will never understand why the entire team had to all use the elevator at the same time. The ride featured shoving (Clint), booming enthusiasm about how the team is already "bonding" (Thor), and Tony's back pressed against Steve's front the entire.
Not that Tony is complaining about that last one.
The elevator doors open and the Avengers pile out. They spot Happy, dressed in his usual black three-piece suit combo and driver's hat, waiting patiently by Tony's personal favorite limo. Happy grins when he sees everyone and opens the door. Clint climbs in first, followed by Natasha, Steve, Thor, Bruce, and finally Tony, the latter giving Happy their destination and pointedly ignoring the confused look on the driver's face (because Tony Stark doesn't make personal shopping trips). Tony settles in his seat as Happy closes the door and walks to the other side of the limo. The genius whips out his tablet and begins working on some new rough drafts for inventions. The rest of the team chatter excitedly while Happy places the car in gear, turns on the radio, and heads for Costco.
"Goooood morning, Midtown!" one of the ever annoying hosts chirps over the airwaves. It may be almost eleven a.m., but Tony hasn't slept in over forty-eight hours so he is entitled to be annoyed by the radio people.
Well, not entitled, but you get the idea.
"It's eleven o clock, which means that it's time to play the most requested song of the day! Here it is!" As soon as the host finishes talking, Clint lets out a whoop of joy.
"Oh shit, this is my jam!" The archer exclaims as he dances along to the opening notes of the song.
"I was like, good gracious ass bodacious. Flirtatious, tryin to show faces. Lookin for the right time to shoot my steam (you know). Lookin for the right time to flash them keys. Then um I'm leavin, please believing. Me and the rest of my heathens. Check it got it locked at the top of the four seasons. Penthouse, roof top, birds I feedin," Clint raps.
Tony has the urge to laugh, but he isn't sure if it's at Clint's failure to rap properly, Steve's blush, or Thor's complete confusion. Based on the latter's reactions, the two have probably never been introduced to rap music, let alone a song with such dirty lyrics. The genius almost loses it, when he hears Thor ask Steve if "shooting his steam" is something dangerous.
"No deceivin, nothin up my sleeve, no teasin," Clint continues to rap. "I need you to get up up on the dance floor. Give that man what he askin for. Cuz I feel like bustin loose and I feel like touchin you. And can't nobody stop the juice so baby tell me what's the use." The archer forgoes rapping in favor of flailing his limbs in something he likes to call "dancing while sitting down."
Tony bites the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from crying of laughter when the chorus comes on. Steve's blush darkens and Thor looks around even more confused than before wondering, "Why do the women want to become so indecent? Is the weather so warm that they must proceed to remove their garments?"
Natasha rolls her eyes, and Tony returns to his tablet, trying to hide the amused smile on his face. "Happy, for the sake of everyone's sanity, turn off the radio," Tony says as the driver shuts off his radio.
Clint frowns. "You're no fun."
Tony waves the archer off and returns to his tablet. Silence falls over the group, and Tony is nearly finished with the rough draft of the Stark Phone 3.0, when Clint begins playing with the buttons next to him that control the windows, sunroof, temperature inside the back, and the minibar (which Pepper swapped out the beer for diet cola, thanks a lot).
The archer fiddles with the buttons for a while until he opens the sunroof. Clint grins. He scrambles from his seat and sticks his head out of the sunroof. Tony rolls his eyes, listening to the archer whopping with joy and screaming "Hello New York!" at the top of his lungs. He can hear the sounds of people on the streets cheering and laughing at Clint's idiocy.
Steve grabs Clint by his belt and yanks the archer back inside the limo. The soldier fixes the other man with a stern glare meaning that Clint is going to get the biggest lecture of his life. The archer merely shrugs and mutters "worth it," while Nat covers her mouth with one hand, hiding a smile.
Clint moves to close the sunroof, but Thor rises and pokes his head out for a brief second before sitting back down, a curious look on his face. "Your Midgardian architecture is so . . . so . . ."
"Glorious? Incredible? State of the art?" Tony offers.
"Primitive," Thor answers, earning a confused and offended looks from the entire team. "I have not seen one palace nor a monument to your King since I have been in this realm."
"Uh, Thor, we're in America and we don't have a King. And unless you count The White House as a palace, then we don't have those either," Tony explains.
Thor furrows his eyebrows. "I do not understand. I thought all realms have royalty in power."
"If it makes you feel better, England has a Queen," Clint adds.
"Then, I must meet with this Queen and pledge an alliance with her, so that our Kingdoms may aid one another in battle," Thor declares.
"Thor, there's no need," Clint says.
"Why not? Is the Kingdom of England the enemy?" Thor asks.
"Uh, buddy, that is three hours and a history lesson that I don't want to give. Besides, America is already allies with England," Tony explains as Happy stops at a red light. Thor's brow is furrowed as if he still doesn't understand, but says nothing.
Tony glances out the window at the store Happy is stopped beside, "Bob's Video Emporium." The store's window is filled with variously shaped televisions stacked on top of each other, each one playing the same thing: an update on the New York Cleanup Effort. Based on the subtitles, the news reporter is talking about how the finishing additions to the city's reconstruction were completed as of last week thanks to the efforts of the United States Government and Stark Industries. Tony rolls his eyes, still pissed about the fact that Fury had the balls to send him the bill. He's about to turn away when the screen switches from the news reports face to shots of the Avengers in action against Loki over a year ago.
The engineer tightens his grip on his tablet, his entire body tensing as images of the wormhole flash before his eyes, faintly hearing Cap's voice ordering, "close it," in reference to the portal Tony just went through—or did go through. Previously. But not now. He takes a shaky breath and tears his eyes away from the screen. The billionaire slides his eyes over each Avenger, trying to determine if any of them know what is flashing on the screen right now. If they do, they're hiding it pretty well. Based on Tony's observations, everyone seems to be distracted by mundane things like brochures (in Thor's case) and cell phones (in Steve's case and Tony can't believe the other man still doesn't know how to work the damn thing yet). Everyone's attention is occupied, except . . .
"Bruce."
Tony's eyes flick back to the screen right as a shot of the Hulk smashing one of the Chitari foot soldiers is shown. The genius sucks in a breath and turns back to his friend, seeing that the others have taken notice and are giving Bruce concerned expressions.
"Bruce," Natasha says in a soft voice, unusual for the female assassin. Over the past year, the redhead has grown to have a bit of a soft spot for the scientist.
"It's true . . .," Bruce says in a quiet voice, so quiet that Tony has to strain his hearing in order to make out the words. "I really am a monster . . ."
"No, Bruce," Tony begins. "You're not a monster."
Bruce turns towards Tony, eyes wild with fear. "The evidence is right in front of you, Tony. I am a monster. . ." He snorts, sliding his gaze down to his lap and balling his hands against his knees. "It's bad enough that I know I turn into one . . . seeing it here makes it all the more real."
"Bruce," Clint starts.
The scientist holds up a hand. The man was starting to look a little green; Tony isn't sure, if it's from nausea or if the Hulk wants to make an appearance. He exchanges a glance with Steve, knowing that if Bruce starts to transform, they're going to have to subdue him (thankfully, he always has a spare suit locked up tight in the trunk of this limo). The genius hates doing that to his friend, but what more can he do. When Hulk wants to come out, he comes roaring.
"Doctor Banner," Steve begins his voice firm yet calming. His face and posture looking every bit like the soldier he is. "Do you know what The Hu— Other Guy was doing in that moment?" He asks referencing to the Hulk's fighting on the screen a few seconds ago.
Bruce slowly shakes his head, keeping his gaze firmly on his lap. "I don't remember anything when I transform."
"He was saving a busload of elementary school children and their teachers that were caught in the crossfire," Steve answers, watching carefully as Bruce tenses. "The Other Guy provided enough of a distraction so that Widow and I were able to escort everyone to safety. You saved a lot of lives that day, Bruce."
The Doctor looks like he is about to protest when Tony jumps in. "He's right, Bruce. You saved tons of people. You're a hero."
Bruce raises his head and meets Tony's eyes. He looks uncertain at the praise, but Tony's not taking what he said back. The Doctor is a hero whether he believes it or not and the engineer knows he's being a giant hypocrite right now, but he can deal with those feelings later.
Natasha reaches for her purse and pulls the small cream-colored bag into her lap. She digs around for a while before pulling out a small peppermint candy that Tony recalls being Bruce's favorite and holds it out for the other to take.
The scientist eyes the candy before glancing at everyone, the green on his skin fading away slowly. The scientist takes the candy Natasha offers with a quiet murmur of thanks. He unwraps the treat and pops it into his mouth.
The tension bleeds out of the car and everyone breaths a mental sigh in relief. Tony slowly uncurls his fingers from the death grip he has on his tablet, and releases a calming breath of his own. The light changes to green and once again, the car is moving along and heading for Costco. Tony can feel a headache coming along and is already regretting the trip. At least Bruce is doing okay right now. And Tony is hoping it stays that way.
Happy pulls into Costco's parking lot half an hour later, saying he's going to get ice cream and will be back in two hours. Tony says his goodbyes to Happy and follows the team inside with an eager Clint leading the pack muttering excitedly about how he's "finally going to pay that S.O.B. back"—whatever that means.
The team enters Costco and immediately spilt up, agreeing to meet at the checkout in an hour and a half. Clint runs off to who knows where while pushing Natasha in a shopping cart. Thor heads directly for the food section pushing his "moving basket," and claiming that he is going to sample each item the store has to offer. Bruce shuffles away quietly on his own with a basket, probably to look for spare beakers and other science things. Tony feels bad for the scientist. The poor man is still probably beating himself up over what happened on the way over. The genius hopes that Bruce isn't blaming himself. Tony is hoping that after some alone time and a solid distraction, Bruce will be back to his usual self.
Hopefully.
Since everyone else is gone, this means that Tony is on Steve duty, as he now dubs it. The engineer figures that the blond could use a chaperon and even though Steve is a grown ass man and looking around the store in wonder, Tony knows that too much modern could easily overwhelm Steve and he doesn't want the soldier to have a panic attack.
Tony turns towards Steve, mouth open and ready to ask the other where he wants to start, when he watches the man's back head straight for the electronics section. "Shit!" Tony exclaims. He quickly grabs a cart and runs after the blond man, reaching him when the other stops to inspect a Blu-ray player. Going by Steve's confused look, he's probably never seen one before and Tony doesn't have one at the tower because JARVIS can find him whatever movie he wants.
"That's a Blu-ray player, Steve-o," Tony says, watching as Steve's expression turns into one of understanding. The genius remembers Clint explaining to the soldier what DVD's and Blu-ray's were a few days ago.
"So, these things make those little disks Clint told me about work?" He questions still looking over the box with interest. The Samsung model that Steve is holding has been out for a while. Tony's heard mixed reviews about the product, but it appears to get the job done. The engineer is sure that he could build a much better model in his sleep, but hey, who is he to do deny Captain America what he wants. Besides, he could always sneak the item down to the lab and make a few very slight adjustments.
"Yeah, pretty much," Tony answers, crossing his arms on the cart handle, then resting his head on top of them. "You thinking about buying it?"
Steve nods his head slowly, still reading the information on the box. "I think so. When Clint was telling about Blu-ray's, he told me he had a bunch that he never got around to watching and asked if I would have a marathon with him." Steve looks up from the box and meets Tony's eyes. "We couldn't find one in the tower, so this will be perfect."
"Great," Tony grins. "How much?"
Steve glances around for the price tag. When he finds it, his face twists into shock and his mouth falls open a little. Tony raises an eyebrow, knowing it can't be that bad.
"How much?" Tony repeats.
"One hundred and nineteen dollars," Steve answers, horrified. "I can't afford this."
Tony sighs, knowing that Steve is definitely experiencing some culture shock. The man did grow up in the depression after all. The engineer moves away from the cart and plucks the box out of Steve's hands. "Yeah, but I can."
Steve turns, giving Tony a guilt-ridden look. "I can't ask you to buy this for me," he says as if he can change Tony's mind with his big, blue eyes.
Tony rolls his eyes. "You're forgetting who I am, Stevie," he says watching the others expression change from guilt to annoyance. "Besides, it's only a hundred dollars and I am a billionaire after all." He places the box in the cart and fixes Steve a stubborn look. "I'm buying this for you because that's what friends do for each other."
The soldier furrows his brow. "We're friends?"
Tony tenses briefly, mind running a mile a minute. He usually doesn't throw around the f-word, but for some reason when it comes to the team (including Natasha even though he's still wary of her), he finds himself freely admitting to himself that he considers them friends, even if they don't think the same of him. "Yes, we're friends—if you want to be, that is?"
Steve smiles and Tony relaxes. "I would very much like to be your friend, Tony."
"Good," Tony says. "Then, as your friend, I am buying you this Blu-ray player whether you like it or not." The moment the blond pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs is when Tony knows he's won. He grins. "Getting a headache, soldier?"
Steve rolls his eyes. "You know I can't get headaches."
"I bet I could change that," Tony jokes. He swirls the cart around and walks away from the electronics section. "Come on, Stevie, we got a lot of shopping to do!" The genius smirks when he hears Steve sigh and his reluctant footsteps following.
The hour and a half passes by quickly and Tony is surprised that time got away from him so easily. One could say that he was actually having fun answering Steve's many questions and ignoring his protests at Tony throwing items in the cart that the soldier just looks at and puts back due to the price. It's surprisingly easy for Tony to get along with Steve despite the fact that they haven't interacted much until now—something that hasn't happened since the engineer first met Rhodey.
The two meet up with the rest of the team at the checkout. Clint and Natasha have acquired another cart, both filled to the brim with various items, most of which Tony himself would have never bought aside from the television. Thor's cart is filled with food and the engineer wouldn't be surprised if he actually did get a sample of every food item in the store. Bruce's basket has few items and they all appeared to be science related (no surprise). Tony's own cart is filled with items that Steve wanted. If people think that Steve is stubborn, then they haven't met Tony yet because he is getting the soldier everything whether he wants it or not.
The team starts making casual conversation on how they're going to pay for everything when Tony waves them all off claiming he has the bill. He tells them to go wait outside, listening to everyone chirp their thanks. Steve, of course, decides to stay behind and help Tony through the checkout lifting the heavier items onto the conveyor belt and laughing when Tony mumbles he could manage just fine on his own.
While waiting for the cashier to ring up their items, Tony notices Steve smiling out of the corner of his eye. He grins and nudges the other man. "Hey, what's got you so smiley?"
Steve looks at Tony a smile still on his face, and scratches the back of his head. "It's nothing really."
"Really? Just nothing?" Tony questions. "Hey, you know you can tell me things, right? We are friends, after all."
"Right, thanks," Steve responds. He takes a breath. "It's just . . . every time I think I have you figured out, you surprise me."
"Oh? Well, I hope that's a good thing?"
"Don't worry, it is." The smile that Steve gives Tony is so genuine, that Tony can't help but return it with one of his own, which only makes Steve's smile widen further. "Thank you . . . for, you know, helping me out today and for offering to pay for everyone."
Tony waves him off, smile still present. "Oh, it's no big. Helping a fellow out is my specialty."
"Sir, your total is one thousand three hundred and seventy two dollars," the cashier announces effectively killing the moment.
Tony watches as Steve's face slowly turns from joy to shock and the engineer has to bite his cheek to prevent himself from laughing in Steve's face. Before the other could protest, and knowing the soldier there was bound to be a protest, Tony waves him off. "Stevie, sometimes I think you forget who I am. It's really funny," the genius says as he hands his card to the cashier.
"I could have sworn that I told you not to call me that," Steve says sounding more amused than annoyed, which is awesome in Tony's book.
Tony fake gasps. "Captain America shouldn't swear! You'd be setting a bad example for the children and we wouldn't want to corrupt such young, innocent minds, now would we?"
Steve rolls his eyes. "Captain America may not swear, but the same can't be said for Steve Rogers."
The billionaire fake gasps again. "Why, Steven! I'm shocked! I should tell the president on you!"
Steve laughs and effortlessly loads the rest of the bags into the cart with his ridiculous strength, something that Tony isn't envious of at all.
Totally.
The genius accepts his card from the cashier with a smile and quickly signs the receipt. He smiles at the woman. "You have a good day."
The cashier smiles. "You too, boo."
Tony chuckles as he pushes two of the four carts away from the counter. He and Steve exit the store and find the other Avengers waiting outside. The brunet turns his head towards Clint, who is perched on the back of a bench that Natasha and Bruce are sitting on. "Remind me, again, why you need a television, four pixie sticks and eighteen cases of lard?"
Clint hops off the back of the bench and grins. "For my glorious vengeance!"
"Do I wanna know?"
"Not unless you want to be an accomplice."
"I'll pass," Tony responds. He leads the way to the limo and pops open the trunk. The team loads the trunk with all their newly purchased items. Steve and Clint take the carts over to the cart rack while Natasha, Bruce and Tony climb into the limo in that order. Tony glances around the parking lot. "Where the hell is Thor?"
"Jane called," Natasha answers.
"Looks like someone's getting lucky tonight," Tony says with a grin. Nat raises an eyebrow and Bruce blushes. "What? It's probably true!"
Steve and Clint return to the limo and climb inside, the archer sliding in first and settling next to Tony. Steve enters afterwards and shuts the door behind him. Clint must have explained to the blond where Thor is because the solider doesn't ask. Tony claps his hands together once. "Alright, where to now?"
Clint gasps with excitement. He must have thought of something. "Can we take Steve to Coney Island? I don't think he's ever been!"
The soldier laughs. "Actually, I've been once with Bucky, but we couldn't really do much on the count of my asthma and the lack of money," he explains. Steve looks over at Tony, trying to suppress a hopeful expression.
Tony grins. "For you, Cap, anything. Happy?" he calls.
"On it, boss!" Happy responds from the driver's seat. He sets down his empty ice cream cup and starts up the limo before pulling away from the parking lot.
A/N: Steve's reaction to the price of the blu-ray player is basically my reaction to anything over 10 bucks. Lol. I hope ya'll enjoyed! please review ^^