Hi everyone!

I want to try something new so how about for every review I'll post the next chapter a day earlier.

So let's see if it works :D

Please enjoy!

First I want to push him away but I forget that the moment I think it. All I can think is this is what my first kiss should have felt like. This is what everything should feel like. Because this feels amazing. It's like thinking back at a hug from my mother. It's like I can feel every happy memory I ever had in this kiss and in some way it's even better. There isn't a word for it yet. Because no one felt it before and no word is good enough to describe it.

He pushes me against the wall. Kissing me more aggressively. He had been a sweet carrying guy the last two days now he was sexy and hot too.

There's no way to go left to go. I can't run anywhere right know. I have to look everything right in the eye. Like my biggest fear. Falling in love.

He let's go.

This time I didn't want him to.

For the first time.

'I'll give you some time to think.' I can see it all touched him too. 'I'll see you tomorrow.' He kisses me on the cheek and walks into his room.

I walk into my room and close the room really fast.

I let myself fall on the bed.

I never felt so much in my life.

What to do?

I feel love, fear…I feel everything.

I don't have anything to ask advice.

I know I'm tough but not tough enough.

I can't do everything on my one.

Even though how much I would want to.

I roll off my bed and get on my knees.

I fold my hands together.

'Dear God, Thank you for always being there for me and for everyone I care about. You know everything about me. You know I have a choice to make. You know how scared I am. Please help me. Steer me in the right direction. Please help me. I know you can. Please. Thank you. Don't forget to tell my mom that 'I love her.' Amen.'

I get up and grab my bags when I realize I'm still wearing his shirt.

I look in my bags and grab sport shorts and a tank top.

I pull his shirt over my head and put the shorts and top on.

I hold the shirt and walk to out the door to Will's door.

I knock on the door.

Will doesn't open the door it's a guy with black hair which is pulled back in a ponytail.

'Yes?' he asks.

'Can you give your brother his shirt back, please.' I hand the shirt to him, but he doesn't grab it.

He looks at me really intense, like he's trying to look right trough me.

'Your shield is strong.' He says.

'I'm just here to give the shirt back.'

'So you're running?'

'My imaginary brother was way nicer than you.' I drop the shirt and walk back to my door.

I feel he grabs my hand. I turn back to him.

'Seriously what's the matter with you!'

'Wow, you're feisty.'

'And your impolite.'

'Just please don't run. Give him a chance. He's probably the best guy in our family.'

'I justed to wish I had a big brother. Who looked out for me. Protected me. I get what you're trying to do. But I don't have anyone…' I pause. 'To protect me and my choices. I have to do it on my own. Please try to get that.' I turn back to the door and open it.

'You don't have to be alone. Try to get that.' He says and walks back to his own door.

Okay, maybe even though he doesn't look like my imaginary brother he sure acts like him. Too bad he's not on my side.

I grab my toothbrush and get ready for bed.

In the morning I will know what to do.

I'm sure that deep down I know the right answer and if not God does. And he will help me see it.

I close my eyes and fall asleep in seconds.

I see my mom. She looks just like me only she's smaller.

Her blonde long curls blow back because of the wind.

Her green sparkling eyes are looking outside.

'Hallo lieverd.'

'Mom…' I say. 'I haven't spoken Dutch for years.'

'Fine, but please don't tell me you can't anymore.'

'That's not the point. I'm American.'

'Please never forget you're also Dutch.'

I smile 'It sounds like you're saying never forget you're different.'

'You also shouldn't forget that.'

'I'm not different. Just like everybody else. And all I can do with my gift is see people's fears and dreams.'

'All I can do?' Her mom asks. 'You can change the world. You can take away the fears and let the dreams come through. You can give people happiness. And you don't understand that, that is what you're doing every day.'

'if only I could take away my biggest fear and fulfill my biggest dream.'

'You know dreams have limits.' She smiles and gives me a hug. 'No matter how bad you want to.' She whispers in my ear. 'You can't bring me back.'

'I know.' I hold on to her tight.

She lets go and looks me in the eye. 'And you know as well as I do that the only way to take away fear is to face it.'

'I can't….'

'You can do anything, sweetheart and it's about time you start to believe it. Let my biggest dream come through.'

I smile. 'I don't know how to be happy anymore mom. Please tell me what to do.'

'I won't.' She smiles. 'Deep down you know exactly what you have to do. Now It's up to you to decide if you will.'

I look at her angry.

'Ik hou van je.' She says in Dutch.

'I love you too, mom.' I give her a last hug and she kisses me on the check.

Than it feels like I fall before I hit the ground I wake up.

I hope you liked it!

The next chapter is waiting!