I'm unsure to why Sollux was so weirded out, but I know I he wasn't just thinking of something, the look in his eyes was like that of a cornered animal, with a gun pointed at it's head.
That's an necessarily dark thought.
I attempt to push those thoughts to the back of my mind as I walk into the apartment.
I hardly slept, waking up knowing I've only gotten a few hours of rest, but I'm so nervous I can't calm my nerves. It's almost five am when I finally decide to give up on sleeping (having woken up an hour before) and get out my laptop. I very quickly find out that I'm not the only one unable to sleep.
I sit there and chew on the tip of my thumb in contemplation before opening a chat box. The chat client seems to be malfunctioning because neither of our quirks appear when we type.
CG: can't sleep?
TA: nope, and neither can you from the look of it
CG: i'm too nervous, i keep thinking of what might go wrong
TA: don't worry about it, I mean it's only a school thing
CG: yes, a school thing, where judgmental teens just like us will sit there and examine our every mistake and then it will come back and bit us in the ass
TA: So? I mean, you've probably known these people longer than I have but I mean even if you do embarrass yourself, we'll all just be embarrassed along with you
CG: YOU'RE MAKING THIS WAY TO SIMPLE
CG: SERIOUSLY ok so maybe I am overreacting but even if I am this is still a pretty big deal...and at the same time not
CG: ok fine
CG: i have no idea what I'm even saying
TA: it's fine, I understand the feeling
TA: but at least you didn't have to deal with the embarrassment of walking into a new classroom at a new school in a new town, oftentimes even a new state. That's truly horrible, having all those eyes watching you
CG:...
TA: Sorry, that was just me
TA: dammit
TA: I mean this is why I shouldn't think after having a nightmare
TA: oh fuck
CG: nightmare?
CG: you ok?'
TA: It's fine
CG: well considering you're mini freakout today...
CG: I'm worried about you
TA:...
TA: don't worry though, it's nothing
CG: that right there tells me that it is something
CG: Don't lie to me Sollux
TA: It's fine, seriously
CG: SOLLUX I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF YOU DO NOT TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG I WILL WALK TO YOUR FUCKING HOUSE JUST TO SLAP SOME SENSE AND A FUCKING EXPLANATION OUT OF YOU
TA: Karkat, it's ok, just a nightmare, nothing to make a big deal out of
I feel myself beginning to growl under my breath as I stop him mid-sentence.
CG: no, Sollux, I'm not going to just sit hear/ watch/whateverthefuckyouwanttocallit, tell me what is wrong, I cannot emphasize how much I want to know what the hell has made you so
CG: fuck I can't even think of the word
CG: upset? That's the closest I can get right now
CG: tell me
TA: fucking Christ KK, fine holy shit I mean
TA: I literally can't tell you anymore than the fact that I woke up screaming
TA: get off my fucking back
CG: ...
CG: was it as bad as the one you had when I was still staying with you
TA: it depends
TA: which one
CG: wait
CG: ...
CG: you had more than one didn't you, the night before you had the migraine and then during the current night
TA: how perceptive
CG: Are you going to tell me about them?
TA:...no
TA: not now
CG: why are you so damn dodgy all of a sudden
TA: I mean that now isn't the right time
CG: I'm not up for mind games right now Sollux
TA: I'll tell you tomorrow
TA: wait, today?
TA: ok I mean
TA: i'll tell you tonight
CG: what're you implying sir
TwinArmageddons has gone offline
"Oh you little Son of a Bitch!" I growl, slamming my laptop shut, beginning to push it away from me before it gives a soft ping. Sighing, I open it back up and see that it's just indicating that it has passed 5 am. I go back and read over our conversation, frowning with frustration. I sigh and decide that it's useless trying to figure him out, despite the fact that I'm a decent people reader.
There's something wrong, but I just can't pinpoint what.
I'm more than slightly nervous when I walk into school, meeting Gamzee and Tavros at the front with my guitar case clenched tightly between my fingers. Gamzee seems more relaxed as he swings an arm around my shoulder (the other holding his bass by the neck) and proclaiming that I shouldn't worry and that we'll do fine. Even as I look past him I see that Tavros is chewing on his lip nervously.
"Yeah sure Gamzee, have you seen Sollux yet?"
He frowns in thought then shakes his head, "Nah motherfucker, thought you were gonna walk with him or have him drive or whatever the fuck the two of you would do to get here," he grins lopsidedly, patting my shoulder before moving to comfort Tavros, making the boy smile sheepishly as we slowly make our way inside.
I want to get out my phone and text Sollux but I resist the urge as I turn to Gamzee, saying "We should probably drop off our stuff in the art room before first period starts." He just smiles lazily at me agreeing as I quickly begin walking to the art room.
Jade smiles at us with a twinkle in her bright green eyes, not saying anything as we place our instruments in an empty corner. I shoot her a smile before walking out, grabbing my books at my locker and leaving Tavros and Gamzee to do whatever the hell they were going to do anyway, finding myself sitting outside the math classroom with my phone clutched between my fingers.
I fiddle with it for a few minutes, staring blankly at the ground for awhile until I notice a pair of mismatched shoes just within my line of vision. I glance up and see Sollux with a mocking smile on his face.
"Damn KK, I thought you'd never notithe that I've been thtanding here for like five minutes," he snorts, stooping down to ruffle my hair. I huff in annoyance and bat his hand away, trying not to smile despite how infectious his is.
"Sorry asshole, I thought you'd never show up," I shoot back in response, standing to walk into the classroom as the Rose props open the door and briskly walks in the direction of the office. I sit at my desk and turn towards Captor, smirking.
"Psh, you have little faith in me KK, that wounds me!"
"As if," I chuckle, leaning forward to punch his shoulder, which he easily grabs my wrist and laughs as I growl at him. He pulls me out of my seat and I somehow end up sitting on his lap.
"Get a room!" a familiar Texan accent yells from the doorway before fading as a yelping John pulls a laughing Dave away. I feel my face grow hot as I push away from Sollux and sit back in my desk, keeping my gaze on the scratched wooden surface. Sollux chuckles, leaning over to whisper "We're the only oneth in the room anyway".
"Oh shut it Captor!" I hiss, feeling embarrassed despite the fact that it's true. Although first bell rings a few seconds later and students quickly began entering, talking with their friends as they take their seats.
Throughout the rest of the class I refuse to look over at Sollux, or up at Gamzee for that matter, for the many times the both of them attempts to talk to me. When I walk into biology, managing to ditch Sollux amid the masses of students, John hurries over to me, already beginning to apologize.
"Sorry about Dave, he can be so rude sometimes, even though the two of you are adorable I couldn't stop him from looking into the room and he just-"
"It's fine John, don't worry about it," I say as gently as I can, which probably isn't as nicely as I could've done, but it's better than listening to him ramble. When Sollux walks into the room, along with alot of other students as final bell rings, I meet his gaze with a small smile as we sit down. Since I'm not that good with verbal apologies, plus I really don't want to apologize in any way but I don't want him getting mad at me or anything.
He smiles back and bumps my shoulder as John begins the class, glancing back at us with a small smile before continuing his note lecture.
The rest of the classes begin to pass too fast for my liking as we get closer and closer to performing. I knew I'm getting too nervous for such a simple thing, but the thought of everyone staring at me makes my fingers tap nervously against my leg.
By the time Art rolls around I'm all but prepared to run out of the classroom, I'm so scared of messing up, or being ridiculed, Sollux has to keep a firm hold on my elbow as I try to turn around.
"Alrighty class! Today's the day for your presentations, I'm sure all of you will do wonderfully! First will be the 'Creative Art' group, Calliope, will you please begin," Jade smiles broadly as the German girl shyly steps up to the front of the room, her group following behind her. She clears her throat as she brushes a lock of pale blond hair behind her head, grabbing a large canvas from against the wall.
"Yes, so our group decided to take an artistic approach to our project, and ve all created a separate painting based off one idea, which we decided would be magical madness," A blush grows on her cheeks as she looked at the rest of her group. They all smile as they simultaneously flipped around their canvases, displaying their paintings.
We all applaud her and her group place them against a table for everyone to examine.
"Amazing guys! Gosh they look really good!" Jade jumps a bit as she clasps her hands together, somehow managing to smile wider at them. I chuckle at her enthusiasm, my nervousness beginning to fade as the next group goes up. They've written a play, an original of course, based off of Greek folklore. Their boisterous performance draws laughs out of everyone, and I'm not afraid until it ends, and Jade looks at me.
"Ok! Amazing! Now we'll Have Karkat's group sing for us!" I feel the butterflies in my stomach flutter before I take a deep breath and walk to the front of the room, grabbing my guitar on the way. Tavros had had his drums set up way before school started, but he also put mutes on them and Sollux has his guitar as well.
I pretend not to notice the looks everyone's giving us as I take another deep breath. I don't have to look back at Tavros to indicates him to start. We all start at the same time, and I feel my hands shake as I take a small step forward.
"You're a mess," fuck did my voice just crack?
"Tangled in you confidence," yup I messed on that chord
"You think you haven't sinned," I can tell when Sollux plays a bit louder to cover up my mistakes, and I let my eyes fall shut for a second as I find the courage to stop thinking about what I'm actually doing.
I don't look at anyone as I sing more confidently, feel myself begin to smile slightly with the ridiculousness of the fact that I was scared about this.
"Well I know you lay in bed! Contemplating your own Death! Well just look at what you've done! Don't you dare forget the sun love,you look down on my so casually in everything I know! You look down on me but not right on me did I break this broken home!?"
I finally look at everyone, and instead of derision, which is what I expected, I see a sort of, awe and respect.
"Dear Diary, life is trying me, can I get a sign, for two of mind, or peace of mind? Oh can I get a sign?!"
"A sign!" Roxy chimes, can hear the smile on her voice and it takes a lot of my willpower not to turn around and grin at her.
"Can I get a sign, (I know) well I know you lay in bed! Contemplating your own death! Well just look at what you've done! Don't you dare forget the sun! You look down on me so casually in everything, I know, you look down on me but not right on me, is it plain to see that life is trying me?!"
"Life is trying me! Life is trying- can I think of something, gotta think of something!"
We abruptly end, and the silence is deafening before I hear the class clapping, and I can see Jade jumping up and down in the back with a grin splitting her face in half.
I give a smile in response and yell happily as I turn to the side and give both Sollux and Roxy a quick hug before grabbing my guitar and retreating back to my seat, getting many forms of praise from the class.
"Spectacular Karkat! I knew you guys would do awesome! Now, we have time for one more, how about..."
I tune her out as I sit back in my chair, unable to stop smiling at the ceiling. I feel my phone buzz in my pocket, and since no one cares/ no ones paying much attention, I pull it out and see that Sollux has texted me.
To: Karkat
From: Sollux
Your house tonight? Mituna's friends'll be at my house, guaranteed
I glance up and shoot him a nod, unable to stop a smile.
Today is, so far, perfect.