I follow slowly behind Porrim, the horrible thoughts flicking through my mind unrelenting. She stops in front of the door, "I will return when you need to leave, in all technicalities I shouldn't allow you back here but..." She pats my shoulder gently, and the swirling tattoos under her lab-coat catch my eye.

"Thanks.." I rasp, then cough in a poor attempt to clear my throat. I almost don't want to go into the room, but I knew that my mind won't be able to rest if I don't.

The room is filled with that horrible stereotypical beeping of the heart monitor, but there are so many other wires and machines, that the panic almost overwhelms me. I take a deep breath and move to the bedside.

His head is turned to the side, making his sandy brown hair frame his face, a cowlick at the back of his neck. His breathing is slow, and almost even, but not enough to be comforting. I can see the bandaging visible through the thin hospital robe, although the white blanket is only pulled up to his waist. He looks so horribly pale, and almost fragile, lying like this.

His hand is positioned by the side of the bed, and with a hesitant gesture I intertwine my fingers with his, hot tears stinging my eyes at the strange coldness of his skin.

"Sol...Sollux I'm so sorry, this wasn't supposed to happen, you weren't supposed to be involved..." I begin talking at a hoarse whisper, the words scratching through my throat painfully. "You were just supposed to stay out of it... why didn't you listen to me, why didn't you keep out of it, why...why didn't you just leave me alone."

I can't stop the tears from falling now, and I clench my eyes shut tightly, feeling the salty droplets make their way down my cheeks, hearing them fall onto the crisp bedsheets.

"I could've handled it, you even warned me, why didn't you just let me take care of it? I never...I never said you had to help me, just...just why? You even called the feeling about the day Doom, you just could've left it alone, gone home, chosen to take the safer path, done anything else!"

My choked sobs can probably be heard from outside the room, but I can't stop now, Im ranting, and knowing how long my voice can hold out I'll just exhaust myself.

"This wasn't it...this shouldn't have happened, maybe we...we shouldn't have ever met, maybe you should've just let me lie half dead in the alley until I actually did die, maybe that would've fixed everything," I tuck my head into chest and used my free hand to cover my eyes, trying in vain to stop the tears. I tighten my grip on his limp hand, willing him to squeeze back.

"Why did this have to happen..." my voice hurt, I can barely talk yet I felt I need to . Meaningless words begin to spill from my lips until I'm barely even whispering. Silence falls once I realize I can no longer talk, and for once my voice has gone out before my energy had. Tears are still making tracks down my face though, and I look up to see Sollux's blurred form, still practically completely motionless.

A sigh leaves me and I rest my head on my arms, which were on top of the bed-rails. I hate this. I hate everything right now. I can't think and I honestly didn't know if I want to. I feel my mind wandering back to the darker thoughts, but I try to stop myself before I get there.

Someone clearing their throat behind me makes me jump up in fear, whirling around with wide eyes. I see that it's just Porrim, but that doesn't really calm me down any.

"Sorry Karkat, but if you don't want to get caught you're going to have to leave, I honestly wish you could stay," She says quietly, motioning me out the door with a look not of pity, but more of understanding.

I try to speak, then remember I'm basically mute at the moment. Thinking back to watching all of the sign language that was exchanged, I'm able to hesitantly sign out a few sentences in thanks.

She smiles in a motherly way and puts her hand on my shoulder to lead me out into the hallway.

"I'm assuming you'll be staying here overnight, don't worry, the moment I can I'll sneak you back up here again," She whispers, leaning down to reach my ears.

"Thanks," I rasp out almost inaudibly. I can't manage a smile at the moment; she seems to understand as she walks away from me.

When I get to the waiting room, the scene in front of me is basically the same, a few eyes land on me, but I ignore them as I sit down next to Deithelm again. He doesn't bother me with questions, just gives me a small glance as I attempt to rub away the tears once more gathering at the corner of my eyes.

My phone buzzes again and I check it, seeing my mom was more in favour of texting at the moment.

To: Karkat
From: mom

The police are going to interview me about Silas, I hate to leave you Karcrab but can you hold out until morning? I have to do this.

I had a feeling she wouldn't be able to get here tonight anyway. I don't feel like answering, but I do anyway.

To: mom
From: Karkat

Of course, do what you have to

I decide to turn my phone off after that, Gamzee and Roxy refuse to stop pestering me and I just can't handle talking to them right now. It's nearing 1 am, and yet the amount of patients in the room seems to be kept constant. I debate drawing my hood up again; I notice people looking over at me strange, but I resist the urge and instead keep a steady eye on the wall I'm leaning against. The little amount of sleep I got the night before is beginning to catch up with me. Despite my wanting to keep awake, I feel my vision start to fade bit by bit as I lean more against the wall.

(Deithelm POV)

I look over to see Karkat asleep leaning against the wall. The kid looks anxious in his sleep for Christs sake. I sigh and run my fingers through my hair, biting my lip as I lean against the wall. I had a feeling today was going to be a stressful day, look how it turned out.

I see the lady that had taken Karkat in to see Sollux walking towards me purposefully, and I give a glance over to Karkat before I realize she wants to talk to me. She gives me a look that I can't quite decipher before she sits down.

"Hey Sollux's dad, I'm hoping you remember me as one of Mituna's friends," I give her a nod and she continues, "So I guess I tried to sugar coat it for Karkat, although now I realize that there isn't much to sugarcoat."

"As you know, Sollux was stabbed in the chest, more specifically his left side, puncturing his lung in a horribly strategic spot. Silas was stabbing to kill, not to maim or injure, although we were thankfully able get him stabilized and everything. According to one of the paramedics report, we almost lost him once, and then during the surgery it got close. I guess we can be thankful that it was a relatively short surgery as well, only a few didn't lose as much blood as you would suspect, but it was still enough to leave him unstable. And at the moment he is in a sort of half coma, but more of in the unconscious stage. The good thing is, he should be able to walk up soon, and probably be out of here relatively quickly." Porrim takes a deep breath and lowers the clipboard to her side. I can tell how exhausted she is as she brushes her bangs behind her ear.

"I feel sorry for the kid, both of them," She says quietly, looking at Karkat, and referring to Sollux.

"Same here, that's mostly why I'm staying with him, I'm starting to wonder what sort of situation his life was, maybe even is, like," I say in response, looking over once more at the sleeping teen.

Porrim nods, "I've got to get back to work, but I'll keep you updated," she notices one of the nurses eying her and begins moving away quickly. I sit back in the chair and sigh, leaning my head against the wall behind me. It had to be nearing 1 am, maybe even after that. I don't know, and I don't feel like getting my phone out of my pocket.

"'m sorry."

I hear Karkat mumble in his sleep, and I almost debate waking him up, then decide against it, instead patting his shoulder before I cross my arms and put my chin to my chest.

This has been a long day.