A/N: Guys, this is it—this is the last chapter D: I just want to thank everyone for the massive support whether you've been here since the beginning or if you've just found this story now, thank you so much for humoring me for the past year. I also want to give HUGE shout out to my friend, Kristyn, who read over the story for me and gave me feedback. Thank you!
There will be a sequel to this called "Towers," which will be posted in like a month or two.
Listening to: "Confidential Liar"—Vanattica; "Diane Young"—Vampire Weekend; "Miss Crumby"—The Audition; "Wake Up Sunshine"—Chicago; "Help is on the Way"—Rise Against.
Warning: suicidal thoughts and attempt, mentions of depression, drug abuse/use, and death.
Chapter 26
It's been one month since Steve's funeral.
Bucky's been missing since the day of the service—he disappeared like a ghost and has failed to contact anyone his whereabouts (at this point, they don't even know if he's alive). Natasha tries to raise the moral and keep the team in good spirits, but sometimes she'll stop in the middle of her sentences with a far off look on her face like something is missing. Clint wanders around the Mansion in a daze, robotically completing his daily routine. Bruce isolated himself in his lab, sometimes not leaving for days.
Rhodey has thrown himself into his work, which is something he always does when he's emotionally compromised. He always makes sure to phone three times each day and have JARVIS give him continuous updates on everyone's status. Pepper has moved into the Mansion and Happy in the apartments across the way. Thor divides his time between the Mansion, Asgard, and Shield, keeping himself busy. Loki had returned home, but not before telling the Avengers that if they needed him, he's available. They haven't heard anything from Shield other than condolences and Fury's reassurance that he's going to do everything in his power to track down the mole. As of now, they haven't found the person yet.
Tony's been holed up in his room ever since his suicide attempt three weeks ago. He remembers that day clearly—sitting down at Steve's desk, writing his note on a blank piece of sketch paper; ignoring JARVIS's concerns, telling the AI to piss off before muting him, swallowing a bottle of sleeping pills and downing them with alcohol—his first drink since he first started dating Steve. Once he started, he couldn't stop.
He woke up in the emergency room surrounded by the Avengers; Pepper was slumped asleep in an uncomfortable chair by his bed. Bruce noticed he was awake and alerted everyone else. They were all a mixture of relieved, upset, and angry—Pepper more so. She screamed and cried, and Rhodey had to retrain her from slapping him. He learned from her that JARVIS had contacted her after Tony muted him. She arrived with the team in tow shortly after he blacked out. They barely made it to the hospital in time and the doctor said that if they had arrived any later, Tony would have been—
Pepper had collapsed back into the chair, sobbing, and Tony immediately felt guilty for putting her through this, but he can't do it anymore. Not without—
Tony is pulled from his thoughts when someone knocks on his door. It opens and Pepper slips inside, offering him a small smile and Tony hates that she has to see him like this—unwashed and unshaven, laying in his bed on filthy sheets nearly twenty-four seven only moving to use the bathroom. He's a wreck—a dirty, disgusting wreck—and she deserves better. They all deserve better than him.
"Hey Tony," she says, shutting the door behind her with a soft click. She walks over to the bed and settles in next to him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.
Tony nods his head in greeting, unable to find the will to speak.
"Rhodey just went to work," she continues. "He says he'll back for dinner, but you know how that always changes. He told me to tell you goodbye and that he'll call in a few hours."
Tony keeps his gaze on everything except Pepper.
"Natasha is making Pelmeni for dinner. She thinks you'll like it. I can bring some up when she's finished if you like?"
Tony doesn't respond. Pepper keeps the smile on her face, but he can tell that she's frustrated whether it's at him or that there's nothing she can do, he's not sure of.
After a few moments, Pepper rises to her feet. "I have to go make some phone calls about the eventual moving of the company, but please let me know if you need me." She leans forward, bracing on hand on the mattress, and places a kiss on his cheek before making her way towards the door.
"I'm sorry, Pep," Tony blurts suddenly, his voice sounding hoarse from disuse.
Pepper turns around and smiles. "There's nothing to apologize for," she says with an air of finality. She runs her gaze over him for a moment before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.
Silence follows Pepper's exit, and Tony doesn't know what to do other than lay around. He knows Steve wouldn't want him to lay around—he would want for Tony to be outside, enjoying himself, making new memories with the team and making Fury's life hell. He would want him to be living his life and moving furrows his brow, carefully thinking over that statement. Maybe he can do this—if he does it for Steve.
With that thought, Tony racks his brain before ultimately deciding that he's going to clean up and go down to the lab. He smells ripe and he needs to work on repairing his armor. He can't be of any use to the Avengers if he doesn't have his suit. The last time he didn't have it, the love of his life was killed. He won't let anyone else get hurt because of him.
"JARVIS."
"Sir?"
"Prep the lab; I'm going down to repair the armor."
"Would you like me to inform Miss Potts?"
Tony thinks for a moment before shrugging. "If you want."
"Understood."
When JARVIS finishes speaking, he throws the covers from his body and rises to his feet, mind focused on taking a shower. Tony stumbles and bumps into the bookshelf, cursing as a few novels and other trinkets Steve insisted on getting fall to the floor.
Tony shakes his head and begins picking up the different items and setting them on Steve's desk. He pauses as he notices a small box, one that he has never seen before and he knows every item on that shelf. He picks up the box and turns it over as a confused look falls over his features. He opens the box and gasps, mouth falling open in shock. Inside is a ring—a small silver ring—simple yet beautiful. He looks at it for a few moments before tears well up in his eyes when he realizes what this is.
It's an engagement ring.
Steve was going to propose. They would have gotten married.
They could have raised a family. Steve talked about wanting kids eventually in passing and Tony wasn't completely opposed to the idea especially if the person he was raising the kids with was Steve. Their children would have had a various assortment of Aunts and Uncles living with them and protecting him, and while the Avengers are all fucked up in their own rights, they are a family and those kids would have been so loved and cared for that they wouldn't be able to wait until they were old enough to leave.
"Yes," he whispers, brokenly. He gently takes the ring from the box and slides it over his left ring finger. "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!"
After a few hours, Tony is washed, dressed in a clean pair of sweats, and back in his lab with JARVIS and Dummy, starting to feel more like himself. The methodical process of repairing his armor is soothing to him; he's able to lose himself in the routine, his mind clear of all thoughts. Tony's not one-hundred percent and he doesn't think he'll be for a long while, but this is the best he's felt since Steve—since the fourth trial.
"Sir, Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes is calling."
"Okay."
"Tony?"
"Hey Rhodey."
"Hey man, you sound great."
"I finally got off my ass and showered," Tony says with a shrug before glancing down at the ring on his finger. He wants to tell Rhodey about it, but not over the phone. He's going to have to wait until tonight—he can tell everyone together.
"Good because you were getting a little funky."
"Hey! You're supposed to me my friend!"
"I am, and as your friend, if you would have waited any longer, I would have had to bathe you myself."
"Aw, would you have worn a nurse's outfit?"
"You know I could pull it off; my thighs are killer."
Tony laughs (for the first time in a while). He laughs so hard that he actually has to stop working on his armor and brace his hands on the table. When he finally gets control over himself, he can hear Rhodey's smugness over the phone. "Goddammit, Rhodes, you got me. I don't even have a good comeback.
"Ha! I rendered the Great Tony Stark Speechless. I have officially reclaimed my title as The Funniest Man in New York!"
When they were younger, they would constantly try and out joke each other. Whoever would make the other person laugh the hardest, would become The Funniest Man in New York. Those are the fondest memories Tony has of his childhood—Rhodey always did know how to cheer him up when he was feeling down considering whom his father was.
"Oh, that title still belongs to me. You just got in a good one liner."
"Bullshit, Stark, that title is mine. I earned it."
"Whatever you say, pudding pop."
Rhodey laughs. "Hey man, I gotta go—the boss is giving me the stink eye. I'll see you at dinner?"
"Yeah," Tony says a wide smile on his face. "I'll see you tonight."
Rhodey hangs up and Tony is thrown into silence. He can hear Dummy moving around in the distance and thankfully, the robot is behaving himself. The brunet goes back to working on his armor for a few minutes before saying, "JARVIS call Fury."
"Director Fury of Shield?"
"Do we know any other Fury's?"
"No, sir, I will make the call."
The phone rings three times before Fury answers.
"Stark? You're calling me? Am I being punked?"
"Ha-ha, very funny."
"Well, if I'm not being punked, then why are you calling me in the middle of the afternoon?"
"I . . ." Tony trails off. He stops working on his armor again and thinks for a moment. He honestly has no idea why he called Fury of all people. It was such a spur of the moment decision that he can't think of a good lie. "I don't actually know."
"Oh . . . Alright then."
"Yeah, I'm hanging up now."
"Stark."
"Yeah?"
"It's . . . good to hear from you."
"Same to you, Director," he says with a smile, surprised to find that he means those words.
"Goodbye."
"Bye."
Fury hangs up and Tony looks down at his half-repaired armor, feeling stunned. "JARVIS, mark that down as the most out of character thing I've ever done."
"Understood, sir."
"A little birdy told me you were lurking down here," a voice says from somewhere behind Tony.
The brunet turns and sees Pepper walking towards him with a smile on her face and a clipboard in her hands. "Is Clint spreading lies again?"
"No, but he is on the roof building a nest."
Tony snorts.
Pepper reaches the table Tony is sitting at, setting her clipboard on the table before leaning against it, still smiling. "JARVIS told me; it's good seeing you in your element again."
"To be honest? It's good being back in it."
Her smile widens and she nods.
"So, how's the tower coming along?" he asks. Steve was in charge of the tower's progress and construction, but passed it over to Pepper before the third trial started.
"Great; the exterior and basic layout of the interior are complete. Bob, the supervisor, predicts they'll be finished within six months."
Tony nods his head. "I think I'll go down and see it."
Pepper raises an eyebrow, surprised. "Today?"
"Why not?"
"Are you sure? I can go with you."
"I'll be okay, Pep, I promise. I'll have my phone with me and Bob will be right there."
"It would be good for you to get out, but . . ." she trails off sighing. "You're going to go no matter what aren't you?"
"Yeah."
"Fine, you can go," she says, reluctantly. "But only if you text me text me when you arrive, at some point during your visit, and when you're on your way back, understood?"
"Understood! In the meantime, would you mind looking after Dummy? He gets into more trouble when he's lonely, even though he has JARVIS."
Pepper smiles. "I would be honored. Will that be all, Mr. Stark?"
Tony grins. "That'll be all, Miss Potts."
Upstairs, Tony goes into the kitchen in search of a snack when he sees Natasha perched on top of the counter with a box of donuts next to her. She takes a bite out of the donut in her hand before she meets his eyes, looking visibly surprised to see him.
"Hey Tony," she says taking another bite of her treat.
"Hey Nat," he greets as he opens the fridge and peers inside.
"How are you feeling?"
"Better."
"Good."
"How are you and the team?"
"Getting there."
"Good."
Silence falls over them for a few moments before Natasha sighs. "We miss you, you know."
Tony bites down on his bottom lip. "I know and I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize; you take all the time you want. I just want you to know that you're not alone and that you don't have to be."
The brunet's heart clenches as he remembers Bucky saying similar words to him after the funeral. "Has Bucky come back?"
"No—no one's heard from him yet. Coulson's keeping a lookout and I asked JARVIS to alert everyone if he sets foot in the city."
Tony nods, forgetting that she can't see the motion.
"We also haven't seen much of Bruce. He's been spending most of his time in the lab you made him on the third basement level," she adds.
The brunet ponders over Nat's words. Bruce always dealt with his emotions better in isolation for fear that Hulk may make an appearance. The fact that he's still in New York, let alone the Mansion, is an incredible feat.
He hums and pulls a small container of Greek Yogurt out of the fridge and closes it. He takes off the foil covering the yogurt and tosses it in the bin before grabbing a spoon and eating. After a few moments, he finally speaks. "I'll talk to Bruce and have JARVIS expand the search for Bucky when I get back."
Natasha raises an eyebrow. "Get back? Where are you going?"
"I'm going to oversee the construction of Avengers Tower and talk with Bob, who's supervising everything."
"Alone? I can go with you."
"I'll be fine, Nat."
Natasha frowns, not looking convinced.
"Do you want me to text you when I get there?"
"In addition to when you're coming home, as well."
"Okay mom."
Natasha snorts.
Tony finishes his yogurt and tosses the empty container. He places the spoon in the sink and turns to Natasha, offering her a smile
She gives him a blank look before hopping off the counter. Nat walks over and stands in front of Tony, gazing at the man for a few minutes before leaning forward and wrapping her arms around his torso, resting her chin on his shoulder.
Tony is shocked silent for a few moments before he smiles and returns the hug. Nat worries more than she lets on and Tony is grateful to have someone to have someone like her in his life and watching his back.
The pair stands in the kitchen hugging for a few minutes before pulling away from each other. Tony doesn't miss the fond smile on Nat's face.
"I knew you liked me," he teases.
"Keep dreaming."
Tony laughs.
Natasha purses her lips before lightly punching Tony on the arm. "I'll save some Pelmeni for you."
"I look forward to it." He nods to Natasha and goes to leave the kitchen before pausing in the doorway and turning back around. "Oh and in the meantime, tell Bruce I said he needs to come out of his lab, the library misses him."
Natasha laughs. "Will do."
When he arrives at the tower, Tony shoots off two text messages—one to Pepper and one to Natasha. While he waits for their responses, he looks over the tower's progress, pleased at the work that has been completed. Bob is one of the best supervisors in the state and the work he's done here is a stark contrast to what he saw four months ago when he and Bucky returned to New York. Pepper's right—they really could be moving back into the tower by the middle of the year.
Tony phone beeps and he checks his messages smiling at Natasha's "Okay" and Pepper's "Stay safe." He pockets his phone and makes his way towards the tower, wandering around the construction site and nodding to a few of the workers in greeting. It takes him a few moments, but he finally locates the supervisor, standing in front of a table and speaking with another worker.
Bob is a short, plump man, construction hat covering his balding head. He's wearing a white button up with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, a green tie, a pair of black slacks and brown shoes. Bob turns his head and notices Tony approaching. The man smiles and waves in greeting before dismissing the worker he was speaking with. When Tony reaches him, he shakes the other's outstretched hand.
"Bob, good to see you," Tony greets with a smile and a nod.
"Mr. Stark, you look different," Bob says.
Tony looks down at his clothes, noticing that he didn't change out of his sweats before leaving the house. He shrugs. "Today's casual Friday."
"It's Tuesday."
"Casual Tuesday then," Tony corrects and Bob shakes his head. He rocks back on his heels and clasps his hands together. "So, what are we looking at in terms of floor planning?"
"Well, I was hoping you'd tell me," Bob says with a laugh.
Tony grins. "Let's go to the top. I think best when I'm being elevated."
"Yes, sir," Bob says as he leads the way to the elevator that the workers use. When they arrive, the pair climbs inside and Bob starts the device. The doors close and the elevator shakes once before making its assent to the uppermost level.
"So, I'm thinking," Tony begins a few minutes later. "The first fifty-one floors, including the ground floor, will be used for Stark Industries so we'll need offices, meeting rooms, etcetera. The CEO's office will be the entire fifty-first floor. Pepper emailed you some design input earlier in the week."
"Yep, I got that email," Bob confirms. "What about the other twenty-five floors?"
"Those will be for recreation for me and my team. I'm thinking two floors of labs—one for me and another for Bruce, a pool room, a common room, a training hall, individual floors for everyone, among other things that I'll have to get back to you on."
Bob laughs. "Sounds like a plan, Mr. Stark. We won't be working on polishing the interior for a few more months, so take all the time you need."
When Bob finishes speaking, they arrive on the uppermost level and exit the elevator. There are ten people scattered on the floor, who spot the pair as soon as they arrive. They set down their tools and attempt to leave to give them some privacy, but Tony waves them off and gestures for them to keep working. There's no reason for them to stop what they're doing on his account.
He pursues his lips, wanting to say something, but unable to find the words. Instead, he pulls out his phone and sends a quick text to Pepper, telling her to inform the team to think about how they want their floors to be designed. She texts back saying she's on it and he smiles before putting his phone away.
Tony and Bob continue walking to the other side of the room, pausing just before they reach the balcony. The brunet gazes out at the breathtaking view of the city's skyline, not realizing how he missed it until now. The noise the workers are making fades into the background the longer he gazes outside—Steve would have loved to paint this and Tony feels a pang of loss surge through him.
A loud bang startles him from his thoughts and Tony turns to look at Bob, who is wearing a confused look on his face. The pair scans the room before spotting one of the workers on the opposite side of the room trying to pull his hammer out of the newly formed hole in the wall.
Bob sighs. "Dammit Jim," he mutters as if this isn't the first time something like this has happened.
Another worker joins Jim and grabs onto the handle of the hammer. Together, they tug as hard as they can before the hammer pops out of the hole with a large chunk of dry wall coming off as well.
Bob sighs again and runs a hand over his face. He walks over to the two workers, who are now panicking, with Tony following. "Jim, Erica, what are you doing?"
"Mr. Lewinski, I apologize," Jim begins, a slight accent to his words that Tony cannot place. "I was nailing into the wall and I—well, I missed the nail."
The supervisor sighs and shakes his head. "Accidents happen—just try and hit the nail next time."
"Yes, sir," Jim says, casting his eyes downward.
"Uh, Mr. Lewinski, there's something inside of here," Erica says. She's peering inside of the hole with a curious and concerned expression on her face.
"What is it?" Bob asks, crossing his arms.
Erica reaches into the hole and pulls out a small brown tool box. She kneels on the ground and sets the box down in front of her. Erica opens it and gasps.
Tony and Bob move to stand behind her. Inside the box is a small device with a timer that's rapidly counting down.
"Is that a bomb?" Jim exclaims in a panic and Tony instantly knows that only Hydra could have done this.
There are two explanations for how a bomb could have gotten into the tower. One, Hydra snuck into the construction site and planted it. Or two, some of these workers are undercover Hydra Agents. Either way, he knows for sure that this bomb was planted for him and the team. The scary thing is: they would have never known if it wasn't for Jim and Erica. To think of what could have happened to the team and all of his employees if—
Tony shakes his head, clearing his mind of all thoughts. He can't afford to get sidetracked now. He has a job to do. "Yeah, and I'm assuming that's not the only one. The entire tower could be rigged with explosives. We have to get everyone out of here."
The billionaire quickly ushers the workers and Bob into the elevator. When everyone is packed inside, they all realize that there isn't enough room for the genius to join them. Bob opens his mouth to speak, but Tony cuts him off.
"I'll take the next one," he says with a tone of finality.
The supervisor looks like he wants to protest, but knowing he won't get anywhere, he simply nods his head. "Thank you, Mr. Stark."
"Please, call me Tony."
Bob nods again. "Thank you, Tony."
The elevator doors close and Tony watches them while the device descends. He takes a few steps away before glancing over at the bomb, which is still counting down. Tony takes a calming breath before weighing his options. He doesn't have his suit, and the House Party now resides underneath of the Mansion and won't reach him in time.
Tony gulps—he doesn't have any options. He's a sitting duck until the elevator comes. All he can do now is hope that the bomb doesn't explode beforehand.
The elevator doors open right as the bomb goes off. Tony is thrown backwards from the force of the blast and hits the wall on the opposite side of the room. He groans before his body collapses onto the ground. Knowing there is no time to spare, he stumbles to his feet and makes his way to the elevator. As he predicted, the first bomb was a trigger and he listens to the sounds of more explosions happening below him, which causes the tower to tremble and rock. He's almost to the elevator when the floor caves finally gives out from underneath his feet and he falls.
Tony's vision blacks out, and he swears he can hear Steve calling his name.
Well, there you have it.
You probably didn't think it was going to end like this and neither did I. I thought I was going to be killed long ago, especially when there were so many opportunities presented to me. I was never afraid of death, though; I think I was more afraid of being alone. I felt alone for a lot of my life, and while I didn't believe in an afterlife, I still didn't want to be by myself after I died. And I won't—I'll be with Steve.
This is the story of how I died, and it's finally over.
Like I said before, beginnings are hard . . . but endings are even harder.