Chapter Five

Piper stepped out of the car and was immediately flanked by Eva. She handed her note cards with talking points as she gave her a hug.

"All is set up inside and your guests will walk in with you. Most want shots of you entering the facility. Be prepared for lots of personal questions and ones about the report issued today," Eva prompted her. Piper took no offense at the lack of greeting as she knew Eva was prepping her to do well here. She smiled and said hello to her anyway. She turned to see Alex make her way through the photographer's towards Piper. The only hint that the pictures were bothering her was how she pushed up her glasses.

"Hello Eva, nice to see you," Alex said as she took Piper by the elbow and started to assuredly escort her towards the front steps of the Prison.

"Ms Chapman, how do you feel being back here?"

"Ms Chapman, this way, to your left"

"Ms. Chapman, what do you think of the report issued by the Department of Justice about Alabama's Tutwiler Prison?" one shouted. Piper looked down at the talking points. The commission was due to release their findings but Piper thought it would have been last week. She read the top points Eva outlined quickly then handed her cards to Eva. She should have known about this already. She was kicking herself for not being prepared.

"The Department of Justice was right to do this investigation and I'm not surprised at their findings. Tutwiler is vile. The Governor should overtake this facility and see to the immediate care of the women that are being now and have been abused. The Department of Justice needs to follow through with this report with finances to help facilitate the change and people on the ground in Alabama who have the sole responsibility to keep these women safe from their sadistic guards," Piper said with a vehemence that is often missing from her statements. Alex tightened her grip and looked at Piper with a questioning glance. She didn't elaborate.

"Ms Chapman, did you suffer in this facility like the women in Alabama?" one asked her. Piper took a deep breath as the reporter continued. "If so, did you report this abuse? You mentioned some sexual abuse by guards was there more that you didn't put in your book?" Piper recognized the journalist as a freelance one that writes very good articles that usually end up in the New York Times.

"Artie, yes I was attacked here and no I didn't report it because I feared repraisal not jsut from the people in charge, but towards my friends and loved ones incarcerated with me. You see prisoners are completely at the mercy of their captors. I will say from what I read that Litchfield did not go about creating an environment of sexual assault as I believe Tutwiler has allowed to happen. But please note, that if they move the women in Danbury, as the BOP is planning, a portion of these women will end up at Tutwiler. They will have no recourse to see their children, programs like the one we are promoting today will be useless to them as their children will be thousands of miles away," Piper answered.

He replied, "And they will be in hell." His eyes met Pipers and she nodded sadly. She wasn't sure who he had in prison, but she was positive the justice department had touched his life in a familiar manner.

"This way, please move aside," Alex said as she moved Piper forward. Piper could tell she was anxious and she wished she could hug her.

"Ms Chapman, how is it returning here? Is this your girlfriend? Isn't she an ex-con as well?"

Piper ignored the questions until she got to the steps and greeted the guests. The Congresswoman was all smiles and was fielding a lot of the questions as Piper got with Bradley and Sarah. She knew the other guests from the non profits but she greeted them anyways.

Finally, she turned to answer some of the questions. "I am nervous and I'll admit it, a little sick to my stomach. I have only been back here once since my release and that was only to the visitor's lobby. I am excited though to read for the prisoners and to promote the Women's Prison Association and their program. I hope to encourage my colleagues where to help fund it for the next few years and to show them the difference programs that give prisoners hope can make," Piper looked over at Alex and smiled. Her wife took her hand and nodded softly.

"No, this is not my girlfriend...this is my wife, Alex Vause. Yes, she was incarcerated here with me. She didn't want me to do this alone," Piper said softly with her voice quivering despite her trying so hard to be professional. The questions began then, asking if Alex was her girlfriend from the book and about her testimony that brought down the corrupt Assistant Warden and guards.

Alex smiled and raised her hand to quiet the crowd, " I am one of the women that helped to bring down the corruption at this facility. I came back with my wife because...I didn't know how to let her go in alone. Today though, is about the Women's Prison Association and the work they do. Report that too please...we've seen with the Tutwiler incident what happens in areas where there isn't a Piper Chapman and a WPA fighting locally for prisoner rights. Now, I don't think we need to keep them waiting any longer," Alex looked over to Eva and she took the cue to usher them inside.

Piper smiled at her and put her arm around her waist as they went through the first set of doors. She saw two male guards she didn't recognize move in to keep the press outside for this event. She entered the lobby and swallowed seeing the receptionist. Alex stopped moving and she turned to look at her. She was pale and Piper tightened her grip around her.

"Okay Al?" she asked softly. Alex turned and pressed her forehead to Pipers and they took just a moment together.

"They will not touch you in an inappropriate way. I'm not leading you to them to abuse...you can say no..and stop and they will stop," Alex said quietly.

Piper swallowed her tears and hugged her more tightly, "They will not touch you wrong...I'm not leading you to abuse...you can say no...and stop and they will stop," Piper repeated. Alex smiled and they turned to face the Warden that now stood before them. Piper had a feeling that more than a few photographers caught that moment but she didn't care, it was what Alex needed. After introductions they were led to the rooms to the side. Her bag was searched and they stepped through the metal detector towards the familiar rooms with the curtains. Larry had told her the detail of his pat downs and she had told Alex a bit about it as well.

Piper went in first and Alex tried to follow. Gonzalez appeared by the door, "One at a time Ms. Vause. Please wait." Piper stepped back and squeezed her hand then sent Gonzalez a kind glance.

"No, I have to make sure," Alex insisted and moved forward through the threshold.

"She just wants to make sure it isn't a guy," Piper explained.

"Nope just me...hi Piper, please remove your shoes and raise your arms," Fischer said in her upbeat voice. Alex visibly relaxed seeing her there and Piper felt a pressure lift from her chest. Her stomach was still doing flops but it was good. "I'm okay if she stays too Gonzalez," Fischer continued. Alex smiled and Piper smiled back. She slid off her shoes and held out her arms as Fischer politely patted her down.

"I thought it should be me...I hope you are well and I can't tell you how happy I am to see the two of you together," Fischer said in a soft voice. Piper was holding her breath and had to swallow before she answered.

"Yes we found each other again...got married on Christmas Day," she told her. Fischer looked up quickly and forgot to keep patting her down as she hugged her. The other door opened right as she let go and in walked the Warden and Officer Bell.

"Um yes, all good here, Ms Chapman...you can put your shoes on here. Now your turn Ms Vause," Fischer said. Alex stepped up and then slipped off her shoes. Neither of them had worn laced boots just for this reason. Fischer was thorough and polite. She finished in no time and motioned Alex and Piper towards the Warden.

"It is good to meet you Ms. Chapman, I've heard a lot about you. I don't agree with everything you wrote in your book but just know this is a different facility now," Warden Dixon said in a voice that told Piper she had to practice that to make it sound good. Piper smiled and turned on the charm. She told her she'd heard good things from the volunteers. Piper reached back and took Alex by the hand as she slipped on her shoes. The Warden's gaze fell on to their entwined hands and she couldn't help her scowl. Piper smiled and turned to wait patiently for the rest of their party.

On the other side of the door, the sound and smells of the prison hit her full force. Piper felt dizzy suddenly with her senses overwhelming her. Alex moved closer and whispered, "Breathe," in her ear. The warden looked over at her and she smiled like nothing was wrong. She heard scuffling of shoes and looked towards the double locking doors that she'd pass through to get to the Chapel. She saw the women moving in a line and she caught a glimpse of women looking through the bars. She winced as the guards raised their voices to make them walk on. Piper felt her pulse beat faster and she had to steel herself to keep from fidgeting. Alex tightened her grip on Piper's hand and she knew it had bothered her as well. Watching guards tell the prisoners what to do was a problem for her at each facility but it seemed to seep a bit deeper into her mind here. The rest of their party cleared the check and Eva came to them immediately.

"Hey, are you two alright?" she asked.

"We were professional and their pat down went just as yours did, "the Warden answered in a defensive tone.

Piper started to speak up but Eva spoke first, "They are my friends and this is hard for them. I will inquire to their well being any damn time I want." She looked the Warden in the eye as she spoke and the woman put on a fake smile then moved around her to greet the more high profile guests. She spoke about the number of prisoners; it was up since Piper was there. The congresswoman asked about transferring the women from Danbury over to that facility and the Warden told her they were at capacity. They entered the barred double doors and Alex jumped as the door locked behind them.

Sarah smiled and said to Alex, "I'm nervous and I've never been confined here. The metal doors are so loud." Piper saw Alex nod at her kindly and she smiled as well. The other door opened soon enough and they found themselves in the hallway outside the Counselor's office. Piper looked to Healy's old office for a moment and then to Alex. She stared down the hallway to the bend where Pornstache had assaulted her. Piper smiled at her and took her hand. She noted that she only saw female guards as they advanced to the Chapel.

"Have you hired more female guards?" Piper asked the warden. She nodded and rattled off about a hiring program and some classes the state made them take. Piper smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. She knew they were only doing these things because she brought attention to their doors with her book and continual pursuit to improve the sentencing laws. They started up the back hallway to the Chapel and she had a flashback to running out that Christmas. It was sudden and she felt the world shift for a moment as the fear hit her. She could see Pensatucky's face, full of crazy and hate.

Alex was there at her side. Piper blinked and tried to put on her professional smile but she couldn't really breathe well. Alex immediately turned to their guide, "Excuse us a moment, she needs some air. She'll be right back for the reading," Alex said as she pulled Piper out the very door she fled that night. Once outside, Piper bent over from the waist and took a deep breath. Alex rubbed her back in soft circles.

"I'm sorry, I should be taking care of you," Piper managed to say as she stood up. Her eyes fell to the place in the snow where she nearly killed Tiffany. Alex moved her eyes to where Piper was looking and then moved in front of her.

"Shit, I should have taken you someplace else. Don't worry about me...I think I'd lose my shit if we were in Texas but I'm holding my own here," Alex explained. Piper stepped in to her arms and buried her head. Alex held her tight for several minutes until Piper's pulse slowed. "It was the worse Christmas of my life...well the one alone not knowing where you were was pretty fucking awful too. You've taken that all away though..now...every Christmas I will remember our wedding," Piper said to her. Alex smiled brightly and kissed her wife.

"Let's get this done...just think about all the happy times we had in that Chapel," Alex joked as they headed back to the door. Piper laughed and her laughter chased away all the ghosts. They entered through the door and Alex left her to head down the side steps. Piper smiled as many of the prisoners started to shout out and applaud Alex. Piper could see Red and Boo on the front row. She saw Diaz and her mom as well.

She was introduced by the warden and the women managed not to boo the woman as she stood before them. Piper was impressed. They started to clap and it got very loud. She blushed and raised her hand. In her heart she really felt they were the ones that needed to be celebrated for making it through that day.

"Hey, no no really...you guys should applaud yourselves for getting up today and facing it in here," Piper said with surety. This made them get a bit quieter but some shouted out to her. She waved to Red and blew her a kiss. She waved to a few others as well then her eyes fell on Alex. She was beaming with pride looking up at her. Piper met her eyes and the room got quiet. She swallowed and all seemed to set itself right as she took a breath.

"I've done more than my fair share of these readings but this one...well it means so much more to me," Piper said softly. "for a few reasons, one...I'm here at Litchfield surrounded by memories and people that mean so much to me...another, I'm here with my wife, Alex Vause...and last because of all the places in this facility, this Chapel holds the most precious of my memories." Piper finished and they went wild. Red shouted her congratulations and the rest all caught the reference to the nefarious uses of the Chapel.

Piper held up her hand when she saw the Warden looking uncomfortable and some of the guards move towards the loudest inmates. "You all know how I worshiped at this alter...just as many of you have...hello Sister Ingalls." Piper said from the podium. This brought laughter to some and she waved to Piper from the third row. "Now, okay..I have a reading to do...one specifically chosen by the Warden here. I appreciate that she did this because as you know, you aren't really supposed to discuss WHY you are here...you can say the time but the crime...well...so I'm going to read to you about the crime that cost me 15 months of my life in here and ten years under the thumb of the federal justice system. I once told Sister Ingalls, when she shared her crime with me in the chow hall, that I chained myself to a drug dealer." Piper looked down at Alex and smiled a loving smile. "I guess I haven't changed that much after all." The room broke into shouts again and Piper laughed. She held up her hand though and people got quiet. She moved away from the altar; taking the microphone with her. She stood at the edge of the stage, closer to Alex and started to read. She read "International baggage claim in the Brussels airport was large and airy, with multiple carousels circling endlessly.." (Kerman)

They listened with rapt attention. She knew that many of them had read this book; she herself had sent copies to the library once her publisher released it in paperback. She finished her reading, they applauded and gave her a loud standing ovation. She spoke to them about the Women's Prison Association and the programs they started. She introduced Sarah who thanked the volunteers and the women involved in the pilot program. She also thanked the warden...a woman Piper did not thank at all after her introduction.

It was the end of the presentation, but Piper stepped back up to the microphone. "I wanted to thank you all for listening to me. I wanted to thank my friends here and those already out, who stepped up with kindness and helped me live through my short sentence. I know my time was nothing compared to most of you. I know this system isn't fair and I promise, I will do everything I can to help make it better." She waved to them as they stood up again and she was ushered off the stage to the back door. Piper wasn't the least bit surprised to see Alex walk passed the guard, up the stairs to meet her at the door. She took her wife's hand and they walked down the long hallway together.

"You were fantastic," Alex said to her as they walked ahead of everyone. Piper moved closer to her and kissed her cheek.

"I often wondered if you knew how messed up I was about doing those things for you. That day was one of the worst in my life. I tried to separate what you did with my love for you but it became impossible...especially when you wanted me to do more," Piper whispered to her. It wasn't really the place or the time to discuss this but it was on her mind as she had read that part.

"I didn't love you enough then...I loved my job and the power I thought it gave me. I realized my mistake after you left me. You wrote it like we came back to the states together and you just left me. When I first read that I thought you did it to make yourself seem better...not to admit you left me when my mom died. It pissed me off at first, then I realized you didn't want to share any personal details of my life with your readers," Alex said quietly back as they turned automatically and headed to the rec room. They were oblivious to the group behind them and Piper knew she should be walking with the guests. She stopped before Kaputo's old office (yes I know it is spelled with a C but I'm stubborn ). Piper remembered crying to him to get to call Larry.

"Yes that is why I did it...and I was ashamed," Piper admitted. She then turned to the Congresswoman and started to speak about the reading. Alex followed closely behind her and Piper directed them into the rec room. The Prisoners were filing out and going back to their business. Piper looked at the clock up on the wall and realized they would be starting lunch soon. She wondered if she could get her guests a typical lunch to show exactly how little they are given there. She knew that wouldn't be allowed. She stood for a moment as Bell directed them where to sit and barked an order in to her walkie to get the panel inmates there. Piper looked around and saw the handmade scrabble board and used pack of cards, stacked to the side. She remembered all the parties they had for people getting out and had to swallow down her memories again with the force of her will. Alex came to her side and put her arm possessively around her waist. She really didn't think she could have gotten through this without her.

"Are you alright?" Piper asked her again. Alex shook her head and turned so she could bury her face in her wife's hair. Piper closed her eyes a moment and let her just sag into her strength. How had she existed without her? They were like that as Officer Bell approached. Alex stiffened in her arms as if she sensed danger and turned to move her body between Bell and Piper. She rubbed her back for a moment and tried to calm her. She smiled at Bell, trying to seem relaxed. She noticed then that everyone was looking at them.

"Um before the prisoners get in here, I wondered if you'd sign my copy?" Bell asked. She seemed like any other fan of Piper's work but she was surprised.

"Sure. Do you have a pen?" Piper asked her. She looked at Alex with an expression that she hoped expressed how fucking surreal it was to be asked to sign a book for one of her jailers. Alex actually laughed. The sound of her laughter washed over Piper and she felt a sense of peace. Bell produced a ballpoint from her uniform pocket.

"Others would like to ask you but the Warden would have their ass. She went out to speak to the prisoners before they come in and I saw my chance," Bell explained. Piper swallowed again, surprised.

"We will leave a few signed ones for the officers Piper selects, if you'd like um.." Eva said, stepping up finally to run interference. Piper introduced them. Bell liked the idea. Piper had no idea what to write. She took a moment and then scribbled, "To officer Bell, "thanks " for scaring the shit out of me my first day and for never coping a feel. Piper Chapman" Alex read over her shoulder and chuckled in her ear. She handed the book back and the officer hid it quickly in a stack of other books as the panel came in the room. Eva led Piper over and motioned Alex to move to stand out in the hall. She laughed at her and walked with Piper towards her seat. She pulled it out for her and Piper sat down with a "thank you Ma'am" comment that spoke volumes about how cute she thought Alex was being in that moment. Her wife then leaned back against the window sill, where they had hung Taystee's poster that time long ago before she was thrown in the SHU. She crossed her arms and glared her best Drug dealer glare at the officers and Eva. Piper knew Alex wasn't going anywhere with her and it made her feel ten feet tall and invincible. Somehow, she thought she might need to feel just that way to get through this next bit. The women marched inside the rec room in a straight line. Piper gasped as she saw the women that came in and recognized one of them! There at the end of the line was none other than Diaz!

***Well, this was kinda fun to write! I think Piper is more of a mess than Alex...who knew! Sometimes as I write, these girls just act a way that totally surprises me...I know that sounds totally crazy but there ya go! Please please review after you read. It really warms my soul to read your words...and I need that as I've been snowed in for two days :( The Tutwiler report is a true story. Please check out Piper Kerman's tweets or google the name and you'll see this recent news. I know y'all may think I exaggerate the abuse prisoners suffer but everything that has happened to Piper and Alex has been based on something I've read. Please advocate for Prison reform where ever and whenever you can. Paying your debt to society should not include rape and humiliation. Peace, Fae***