Letters of Despair

by fairycutter

Dear Fanfiction Writers, Thank you for all the great stories you wrote about us so far. We enjoyed it, kinda. With all due respect, can we ask for something? Please stop write nonsense about us. We believe that there is so much good stories you can come up for us, so let just stick with the good material, okay? Thank you. Oh! Malfoy said, he's not asking, he demanded.

3. I'm tall and handsome black wizard

Dear Fanfiction Writers

I want to thank all of you who have written about me. I haven't read all of it but so far it's been amusing reading material. I don't particularly have any objection regarding topics you've chosen no matter how far fetched they are. Some topics do raise questioning though, such as; me and Granger as sibling. You do know that we came from different breed, do you? Well, at least that's better than make me her suitor. I do wonder though, what make you think that I have any interest on her or the otherwise? I'm not saying she's ugly or something, but it's really too farfetched of you to think I would fall for her.

Good thing, fanfic about me being her suitor is not much. You don't know about this, but there was times when I got hit by Imperius Curse and wake up only to find myself done something embarrassing in public. At first, I don't know who did it, but lately I figured it out. That's your fault muggles. When He got caught wind of fanfiction that pair me with Granger, that's my ticket to Imperius Curse or after I found out, my ticket to fly out of country. I felt like running Death Eater, but that's better rather than featured on Daily Prophet doing embarrassing things. I'll forgive you muggles, as long as you stop writing about me as her suitor and pair me with other witches. An attractive ones like myself of course.

I like it when you write me as suave man. I'm not like that in real life, but if you want to interpret me that way, I don't mind at all. I do mind if you pair me with another wizard or that I'm a witch. Please muggles, I'm too handsome to be a witch and I definitely wouldn't waste my handsomeness by falling for another wizard. It's not like there's shortage of witch.

I guess that's all muggles, just when write about me remember that I'm tall and handsome black wizard with high cheekbones and long, slanting eyes.

Sincerely,

Blaise Zabini

p.s. I just read Weasley's letter. What make you to think that I want to be paired with you? I never knew a more presumptuous witch than her. Just because you're a bit attractive, doesn't mean you have the right to put your pretty little red head on the cloud.