To whosoever reads this first,

This is a matter of life-and-death. I have been kidnapped(AKA-GROUNDED) by my captors(AKA-my parents and older brother). I do not know how long I will be able to survive on broccoli and green vegetables EVERY FUCKING DAY! I am suffering from TSD. (TECHNOLOGY STARVATION SYNDROME. THIS IS A DISEASE SUFFERED BY MILLIONS OF GROUNDED CHILDREN ACROSS THE WORLD EVERY DAY). My captors have allowed me the computer only for sending their demands to the govt. (AKA-SCHOOL PROJECTS THAT HAVE TO BE COMPLETED). They have demanded a ransom of $1 billion.(AKA-I START STUDYING). I request the reader of this letter to tell the readers of my stories that they are currently leaning over my shoulder to watch what I am typing like a couple of peeping toms.(OW! What was that for?). Well my captor's(brother's) name is Tom any way so...(OW! Stop that!). If you find this, for Gods sake send help. I'm in the US, in San Francisco at-mmmfff...