People Are Strange
Boring Cosmetics Section blah...
Sasuke Uchiha like every day of his life woke up from bed his again. "God" he thought "Why can't it be, that I never wake up again?" he questioned himself in a cranky voice. "that Gaara guy has some serious issues, I'm pretty sure there's more reasons than cutting your wrist for you to get into a psycho ward", "I need to find out more about him" he thought with a mischievous grin. He slowly rose out of bed and looked at the time "6:55? I'm five minutes early." He sat up on his bed and massaged his back, it was still sore from yesterday when the bed closed in half on him. He finally got up and went to his drawer, he felt exceptionally homosexual today. He put on: a pair of black skinny jeans with hot pink lacing, a red with white polka dotted tie as a belt, a gray long sleeved t-shirt that said "The voices are speaking to me" that was written in red bleeding font, and put on imperfectly perfect pair of hot pink and lime green converses (one shoe was green with pink shoelaces the other was pink with green shoelaces). He looked at his reflection and realized he still had a black eye but, it was half as light as it was yesterday, and realized it would be completely gone by tomorrow. He put his hand in his book bag and fished for the eye shadow he bought yesterday walking back from the hospital. He dipped the tip of the brush into the dirt-like sediment and smeared the eye shadow over his eyes making sure that there was less on the right eye so it would even out with his left eye. "My eyebrow piercing looks too clash with the eye shadow, the snakebite looks fine though." so he removed the piercing, and replaced the double-sided mouth piercing with pink and green rings in each hole. Sasuke had nine piercing: three cartilages piercing on his left ear, normal ear piercing, an eyebrow piercing on his left eye, snakebite, and oddly enough a belly ring. That he all received on his thirteenth birthday a year ago. He put on black and white over-lapping chandelier earrings and put a pink and green striped ribbon on his hair that had a skull in the center of it.
Sasukeparanoid
Sasuke ran down from his bedroom after cleaning his room/taking medication/brushing teeth/etc. and into the kitchen. There on his refrigerator was a yellow sticky that said "Had to go to school early and I made eggs for you this morning. They're in the microwave. Itachi". Sasuke already brushed his teeth and had no appetite so he got the eggs and put them in the trash. He walked outside with his book bag on his back and realized what a lovely day it was, sunny with clear blue skies. Sasuke started heading for his school and thought to himself "I wonder if I missed any homework and who are in my new classes. Hopefully Naruto". As he was walking he saw a cute little black cat with innocent large yellow eyes. "Aww what a cutey" he thought, he bent down a little to stroke the cat and the cat growled. "WOW SOMEONE HAS ANGER ISSUES"; "I BET YOU'RE JUST ANGRY BECAUSE THERE ISN'T ANY ANOTHER PERSON WITH A PUSSY FOR YOU TO PLAY WITH". So he kicked the kitten and it bit into his leg and clung to him. Sasuke swung his leg up and the cat flew against the brick house and bounced off. The cat died and he smiled and said out loud "Good you deserved it you horney cat". So Sasuke continued to his way to school and had a sudden thought "Oh my God, what if God punishes me for doing this?!" he screamed and jumped into the nearest bush waiting to die. A few seconds later he realized that nothing apocalyptic happened and got out of the bush and walked across the street.
Stoner Man
He was finally at school but he took a different route there so he was on the garden next to the high school campus that led to the side entrance. As he was passing the small flowers that cluttered on the side of the of the stone pathway he heard a voice go "Hey Sasuke". Sasuke jumped a little and said "Who's there?" and turned around to face a birdbath. "Hello?" he said, "No turn around again you idiot", Sasuke turned half way around and was face to face with a tree. All of a sudden a face appeared out of the hole in the tree, Sasuke at first thought he just went through temporary insanity but, recognized the face as the drooling kid in his homeroom from two days ago. "Are you high?..." was Sasuke's only response luckily enough his voice showed no signs of emotion as usual. The boy in the tree moved about a bit and stuck his hand out of the hole, and waved his fingers toward himself. Sasuke stepped forward and the boy said "Shikamaru offer you good deal" he said in a slurred voice. He took his other hand out of the tree bark and was holding a bag of marijuana in his hand. "For the first day I'll give you a medium sized pack for ten dollars" said the brown haired boy, "TEN DOLLARS? THAT'S MAD CHEAP!" was Sasuke's excited reaction in his head. "Naw, its okay" Sasuke said, Shikamaru looked him in the eye and took out another bag and placed it next to the other one. "Two for one, same price" said the boy, "I don't want any" Sasuke lied. "You know what I'll see you later" said Sasuke, "Come back soon" said Shikamaru "I will" Sasuke said this time not lying. "Oh by the way, why are you in a tree?" Sasuke asked questioningly to his fellow classmate "I'm a harborphiliac" was Shikamaru's only response, and he put a brown paper bag on his head (blending with the tree) and waited for the next person to come by.
Bio Class
Sasuke was in front of his locker, and started to unlock the lock "4, 23, 7.." he remembered. And put in his books for his three upcoming classes, since it was half days for the whole week. He walked to his homeroom and waited for the day to begin. Tsunade took attendance and the blonde haired boy sitting next to him whispered into his ear and said "Our teacher is super bang-able". Sasuke just stared at him strangely and pranced out of the classroom. First period was history he learned nothing at all out of that whole subject, and heard long rants of his teacher's divorce with his wife over the summer. Second period was math class he learned a bit a bit about perpendicular formulas or something, he wasn't paying much attention and got a few girls whispering to each other. They where mostly saying "that boy Sasuke he's pretty hot", and would turn away chuckling when he looked up at them. As he was walking down the hallway to his next class he saw Gaara walk next to him, and they entered the classroom together. Sasuke took a seat in the back and Gaara placed his book bag down on the seat behind him. Their bio teacher introduced himself he said "Hey class welcome to biology, my name is Jiraiya. And today you're learning absolutely nothing but, this is a day to ask me questions that you've always wondered about our small world.", quickly the class went into a quick euphoria and started shooting out questions like "I DREAMT ABOUT MY MOTHER HAVING AN ERECTION, IS THAT CONSIDERED A NIGHTMARE?", and "MY PET FROG HAS A DICK AND A HOLE, DOES THAT MEAN HE CAN GIVE HIMSELF AN STD?!". As these random questions where being shouted across the room Gaara tapped Sasuke on his back and started to whisper into his ear. "Hey I'm really really sorry about yesterday when I closed the bed in half on you, that sorta wasn't me." Sasuke replied back with a sarcastic "right..", and Gaara said "No I'm serious, I was trying to fight back Shikaku". Sasuke whispered "Shikaku, who and what are you talking about?", "Shikaku is my other identity, I have schizophrenia, I'll explain more about this later." Sasuke suddenly felt afraid of sitting in front of this boy, and he whispered "Hey I don't bite, and dude what the fuck is with your outfit? You look like you where just given birth by a man." Sasuke had nothing to say and a question popped up in his head. "Jiraiya?", "Yes Mr. Uchiha?", Sasuke sat up a little more straight and said "What's harborphilia?", Jiraiya laughed and said "Why?" without trying to burst into hysterical laughter. "Well" Sasuke said "I think my father might have been one". Jiraiya laughed and said "Sasuke, a harborphiliac is someone who likes to have sex with plants, most commonly trees.". The whole class broke into hysterical laughter even Gaara let out an almost inaudible giggle behind Sasuke's back. Sasuke felt slightly humiliated but, turned around and looked at Shikamaru who had grateful eyes for not saying it was him.
Author's Side Note: I'm not exactly sure how you spell harborphilia but, my friend pronounced it like that and told me that was it's meaning. Don't flame me if I'm wrong, it's all for the reading pleasure xD