mygnomefriend, Jasmin Jade xx, Cristina11 and itsi3 - Thanks for the love!

Cristina11 & Shadowhunter89 - I promise I will try and get to Daryl's age in the story. He is older than Carol is in this story but younger than he is in the show.

Chapter 12 - Carol

Carol was light headed, euphoric even. Daryl had given her the one thing she had ever wanted. Freedom. The kind that only came from true independence. In this world that meant being able to survive 100% on your own.

She took her accustomed path through the woods so the she would come out of the trees from a different direction then Daryl's mini camp.

The others must suspect something because they never mentioned her morning disappearing act when her father was around. Even still, she thought it best to keep as many people in the dark about as many things as she could.

You can't tell what you don't know.

That's why she always popped out behind the Greene house. It was out of the camp's line of sight and that way no one knew for sure when she came or left or where she had gone.

For now, though, she was still safe under the canopy of trees. She had come to love the forest. Strange that she felt safer here, alone with geeks roaming around than she did at camp. So much for safety in numbers.

She shook thoughts of camp and all the pit falls it offered out of her head. For a few minuets longer she was still Morning Carol and she smiled, remembering Daryl's words as she was getting ready to leave.

"Seems like we are going to be here a while so it's actually worth the time to set up traps," after a pause he added almost shyly, "I could teach you."

I smiled at him as he chewed on his thumb nail and it occurred to me that he might suspect I was just using him to learn to hunt and that I would disappear now that I didn't need him anymore. I considered suggesting that we take a break and just hang out tomorrow to celebrate my graduating hunting 101 but I wasn't sure if he was ready to spend time together without the pretense of teaching me something useful.

"Thanks Daryl, sounds great!" I said with a big smile that surprised me. "I'll see you tomorrow. Same time, same place?"

Sometimes I felt like I was a kid around him. No history, no scars.

He gave his customary, crooked, tight lipped version of a smile and sharp nod of the head.

I realized I was still wearing the same big smile I wore when he offered to teach me how to trap. A smile would look out of place on my face to the others. I schooled my features into the passive mask I usually wore as I broke the tree line, but my thoughts lingered behind in the realm of my morning activities.

I realized that Daryl was the same as me, to a lesser extent. In being a kid I mean. Well, more kid like.

He was more relaxed during our mornings. He smiled more, or I guess I should say he smiled. I'm not sure I've ever seen him smile in front of the others. Wouldn't want to let those defenses down.

Not that I could judge. I had the emotional Great Wall of China built around myself.

People build defenses for a reason.

The thought popped into my head unbidden and it started some wheels turning.

Daryl never looked at me with pitty, ever, even though he knew everything. He never touched. It was like an unspoken agreement between us, we never touched each other. I don't think it's even conscious, our bodies would just shy away from each other like two positive charges. I always thought it was him trying respect my own personal space issues but now I'm so sure.

Maybe we're two people who were never able to be children. Maybe somehow when we're together that gives us leave to be silly or playful or have fun.

I snorted out loud, shaking my head.

Talk about dreams of grander.

I'll take the baby steps we've taken together, small smiles and hesitant laughter.

But hey, maybe someday we'll be capable of those things. A girl can hope, right? Can't hurt to hope.

I heard myself snort again.

Sure honey, keep telling yourself that.

I stopped and listened as I came up on the back of the Greene house. I didn't hear anyone so I grabbed the buckets of water from the well behind the house that I had stashed earlier today.

I came around the corner and saw Andrea up on the RV keeping watch. We met eyes and I gave her a little smile.

I know Lori complains that Andrea isn't helping with the laundry and cooking and "women's" work, but I think it's great. I think she's great. My father didn't allow Sophie and I to go to the gun training with everyone else, surprise, surprise, but I heard the others talking about how she was a natural. She's already one of the best shots we have and with a little more experience, I bet she'll be the best mark's man in the group.

She isn't a mother nor does she have a husband or little sister... Not anymore. Why should she be doing the men's laundry who are no relation to her? Besides with a talent like her's I'd rather she was up on that RV. Why should she be criticized like she's lazy for keeping the camp safe just because she has ovaries instead of testicles?

I put my buckets down by our fire pit for anyone who needed them and looked around for where Lori had set up school.

"Hey Carol."

I looked around to see Dale stepping out of the RV.

I gave the old man a little smile.

"Dale."

"Ah, I see you took it upon yourself to bring us all some much needed water," he said, kneeling down to dip a tin camping cup into one of the buckets with a splash. "I've noticed," he said, then paused, "that you must be accustomed to going it on your own."

Here he paused again and held my gaze.

"But I just want to make sure that you understand that if need help, all you have to do is ask."

I felt my defenses go up as I began to suspect what he was talking about. My little smile sunk back into my passive mask and I felt my eyes glaze over a bit.

He saw it, I could tell, but he wouldn't give up until he finished his little speech. So typical, had to do his due diligence to help the pathetic domestic abuse victim to clear his own conscience. Well, I'm glad I could make you feel better Dale.

"There isn't a single person in this group who wouldn't help you, if you asked for it," Dale, pushed, holding my gaze for another moment. I returned it, looking right through him without really seeing him.

When I felt the moment pass I asked him if he'd seen Lori and the kids. He pointed. I walked away.

Who the hell did he think he was?

I sighed.

I liked Dale. He was a good man. Educated, intelligent, fare minded, but that was exactly why he couldn't help. Andrea neither, as much as I liked her, she was a civil rights lawyer, been to college, had a career. They couldn't understand.

I couldn't ask for help without saying what I needed it for and I couldn't tell them, any of them. Sure, they would try, but in the end they would dig deep and all they would come up with was pity and that was the last thing I or my sister needed.

Only Daryl understood. He was my only ally.

Just then I heard the rumble of a motorcycle and turned to see Daryl speed off down the road by himself.

King Shane and Rick popped out of the Greene house at the sound.

"Wonder where he's going," questioned Rick.

"Probably decided to cut his losses and strike out on his own," sneered Shane. "Wouldn't surprise me. You know he went hunting while Carol and Sophia where missing?"

Ever the peace keeper Rick held up his hand to Shane, "Now Shane, it's not as if the rest of us were looking for those girls during that time."

Then he smiled and gave that smile that only men gave other men, "you sure your not just razzed about that broken nose he gave you."

Shane's only response was a derisive look that said, you're an idiot.

While they had been talking I made a b-line to the porch.

"Where's he off too?" I asked, trying, probably unsuccessfully to make it seem like I was making casual conversation. Something I never did.

"Dunno," answered Rick. Shane just gave me a look I didn't have time to decipher.

"Should you really be letting him go off like that?"

Rick gave me tired smile.

"Daryl doesn't really strike me as the kind of man who you LET do anything," Rick said looking after the dust that Daryl's exit kicked up. "He didn't ask for any help and Shane may be right, he had nothing tying him to this group, he may well have left. I can't spread us any thinner than we already are and risk lives going after a man who might be none too happy to have been followed."

I don't know what made me lose it, it had been the focus of my whole life, keeping my composure, and I still fucked up.

"That's not fair. You'd go after anyone else if they went off on their own and bring them back to safety, whether they would thank you for it or not. Besides, you lost him his brother, you owe him, you owe him a life."

I barely had time to register the shock on King Shane and Rick's faces at the outburst from timid little Carol when the pain came.

Crack! Right in the back of the head.

"What in the hell did I just hear come outchyour damn mouth?"

Ed, oh god, when did he wake up?

His grip bit into my bicep, as he dragged me away. That would probably leave a bruise in and of itself.

"What did I tell you about speaking disrespectfully to your betters, to men?"

"Hey!"

It was Rick's voice.

Ed ignored him.

I heard foot steps stocking after us.

Don't do it Rick, your only gonna make things worse.

"Ed!"

"Rick!" Glenn's voice. "Rick I need to talk to you."

"In a minute."

"No, now, it's important," Glen's voice was like steel. Rick must have taken notice because his footsteps stopped coming after us.

I was disappointed and relieved at the same time. It was better this way. Rick could only delay the inevitable which would only make it worse when it did come.

"First Shane, now Rick," spat Ed as he dragged me along. "Your just fuckin' you way through the whole camp, huh? And, a married man? Fucking whore."

This was going to be bad...