Dave
I'd watch Jamie read to the sleeping Eli and felt compelled to give her a hug after shutting the young boy's door; she tensed up as she usual. But then I did something stupid, I decided to kiss her and she started to freak out, then her cell rang. We both knew that it was Alex and she could wait but Jamie bolted out of my arms and down the hall faster than a cheetah. I followed her with the guise of cleaning up the mess from dinner but in reality I just wanted a chance to hear the conversation between Jamie and her best friend. I heard fear and a plead in her voice, she wanted to talk to her best friend in private, probably, so she could talk about what had just happened,
"Is that Alex?" I asked already knowing the answer but just attempting to get myself into the conversation. I decided to invite the girl to come stay with us during Summer Slam, I knew that Jamie needed her friend around and perhaps it would give me a chance to discover some more about why Jamie always pulled away.
I just wanted to get close to the woman and her son but she wouldn't let me and it was breaking my heart, obviously something had happened to her, which made her act the way she did. My original plan of waiting for Jamie to tell me about her past wasn't working and I got the feeling that the girl had no intention of ever telling me. I was clearly going to have to go a more aggressive way about getting my information; I was going to have to simply ask her. I'd tried getting information from the McMahon's but they had kept telling me to do just that; ask the woman myself and she'd tell me in her own time. I finished cleaning up and took a seat on the couch and tried to relax but was just too nervous.
"We need to talk," I was all I said the second the young woman had ended her phone call. One look at the woman's face told me that my stance and words had been a poor choice and she was frightened.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so harsh." Jamie just nodded cautiously and sat down in the furthest chair.
"Jamie it's no secret that I like you, hell like, is an understatement. You're this fantastically awesome woman who is on my mind every second of the day and night. The way I feel about you scares the living day lights out of me as I've never felt this way about anyone! Not even Angie and Michelle made me feel the way you do. Based on the way you act and what your friends, especially your son, say, you like me too.
"But whenever I get close to you, you pull back. I hug you and you freeze up, whenever we share a bed you toss and turn all night, you scream out in your sleep and heavens forbid if I even dare thinking about kissing you. I overheard you on the phone with Alex the day of the pancake incident; you were petrified that I expected you to sleep with me and I have no doubt that those same thoughts ran through your mind when I invited you and Eli to come stay. Look ff I had just wanted to screw you, if this was purely physical, you'd know about it by now, I would have made my intentions clear that night we met. But things aren't purely physical, yes I would love to sleep with you, but I would rather wake up next to you every morning and go to sleep beside you every night. What causes you to pull away? It's got to be more than just the sex thing. Is it your religious beliefs? You're a virgin aren't you?" I asked only to have Jamie look at me like I was an idiot.
"Eli's not your son is he?" I asked trying to back up my original statement.
"I am telling you now, I did not go through 41 and a half hours of labour to have that boy not be my son," the woman replied, it was clear that she was struggling to keep her voice steady.
"Then what is it?"
"You wouldn't understand," she muttered turning away,
"Try me? Is it your mom? Its no secret that she doesn't like me, what has she said to cause you to hold back? Did she threaten to kick you and Eli out?"
"No! My mom loves me and Eli more than anything. She might not always agree with what I do but she will back me no matter what and my son and I are always welcome in her home." Jamie was beginning to get angry and I got the feeling that I was treading on very thin ice perhaps I was getting closer and closer to the reasoning behind the woman's resistance.
"Then what is it?"
"I told you, you wouldn't understand!" Jamie cried standing up and heading towards her son's room.
"And I said try me!" I chased after the woman grabbing her shoulder and spinning her towards me.
"Jamie I want to know! I want to help, I see sadness in your eyes and it breaks my heart." I was nearly pleading with the woman; I needed to get through to her that I had no intention of harming her or her son but I doubt I was succeeding. Then I thought of something it could have been, I'd thought about it many times but I prayed it would never be true.
"Did Conner do something to you?" For a split moment the woman's face crumbled but she quickly regained her composure,
"Jamie please don't freeze up on me, I'm begging you. You say that I won't understand, but can't you at least give me a chance? Tell me what happened. PLEASE"
"You really want to know?" Jamie asked staring me straight in the eyes; her eyes were icy cold and blank not giving away anything.
"Yes I do, please tell me"
"Alright, you know that three year old boy in there? That three year old boy who doesn't know his father and hopefully never will. That three year old boy breaks my heart everyday, it is agony to look at him, to raise because he looks so much like his father. And I fear every single day that he will grow up to be like that man and I pray that he won't. Recently that three year old boy asked me the question every parent dreads, 'where do babies come from?' so I told him and I said the words 'when a man and woman love each other very much and when they both agree' but you want to know something Dave? You want me to tell you what's going on Dave? Why I can't stand to get close to anyone especially you Dave?
"It's because I've never had that! There was very little love involved, at least on his behalf and I never ONCE consented! That's my big secret Dave I had my innocence taken from me without my permission and by the one guy that was promising to love me and NEVER hurt me." As I listened to what the woman was saying my heart broke for her and I got angry, how dare someone do that sort of thing to another person?
"That's right Dave I was RAPED! I was raped nearly every day for close to 6 years by the man that I was going to marry. That's how I lost my virginity and that's how my son was conceived and that haunts me every second of every day. And yes its true Dave I like you and I have never felt as safe as I do in your arms, but when you put those arms around me its his arms I feel, its his drunken disgusting breath I smell. And I toss and turn in my sleep because every night I dream of him forcing himself on top of me and I have to force myself not to vomit! I don't want to be close to a man EVER again if it means I have to relive my life with that asshole, whether in my mind or in real life."
"Why didn't you leave him?" I asked quietly, not quite sure what else to say,
"I've seen you with the boys; you don't take crap from anyone. You won't even take crap from Mark, the most feared man in the locker room."
"I did leave him"
"Yea, after 6 years! What took you so long?"
"I don't know, maybe I was afraid, maybe I was just looking for a reason to leave him"
"What? The fact he was raping you wasn't enough?"
"I don't know, maybe after a while I started liking it and I stopped fighting."
"Why would you stop?"
"Because it would hurt too much to continue and after a while I started to believe the things he told me. Look Dave, I have never been in a relationship where two people love each other, the only relationship I've been in is one that has scarred me for life and left me with a child that I couldn't even look at for the first two months of his life!"
"Mommy?" I heard the child that she was talking about whisper and we both turned to face the voice,
"I had a bad dream," Jamie raced over to her son picking him up and holding him tight,
"It's ok sweetie it was just a bad dream. But it's a good thing that you're awake, something happened and we're going to go stay in a hotel"
"Is Davie coming with us?"
"No, honey it's just going to be you and me from now on. Just like before I started working for Uncle Vince."
"You're going to leave WWE?"
"Maybe, there is another company who wants me to work for them and that'll keep me close to home" I couldn't believe what I was hearing, Jamie was thinking about leaving the company.
"But I don't want things to be like before. I like the WWE and I love Davie," Eli was nearly in tears as he listened to his mother tell him that they were leaving and admittedly I had to hold back my own tears.
"Well tough, this is the way it has to be, come on go in your room and get your stuff"
"I DON'T WANT TO!"
"ELI I SAID GO!" The young boy flinched slightly before sulking into his bedroom,
"I need to call a Cab"
"Jamie, don't!" The woman didn't even look at me as she found her cell phone and walked away. She was going to leave not just me but the company as well, she was running, undoubtedly a defensive mechanism she'd built up. Whether she left mentally or physically she just had to leave, I'd seen it before in other people.
I followed the woman to her bedroom and tried to talk to her but she wouldn't listen, she remained silent as she got her bags and headed for Eli's room to get him changed. She couldn't even look at me; it was as though the woman was ashamed of herself. By the time the cab arrived Eli was in tears, kicking and screaming in his mother's arms, then as the woman closed the door I heard the words that I knew would break Jamie's heart in two,
"You didn't even want me! I heard you tell Davie you couldn't even look at me!" I stood there and watch the cab drive away, I knew I'd see Jamie on Sunday but things wouldn't be the same, she was gone and I had no idea how to get her back.
Absent minded I dialled one of my best friend's numbers praying that he'd be able to help me, that he could tell me what to do,
"Paul here"
"I've lost her" were the first words out of my mouth,
"What on Earth are you talking about?"
"I lost her" I repeated nearly bursting into tears.
"Are you sleep dialling again, come on Dave snap out of it," the man urged, he sounded tired and I realised I may have woken him up, depending on when they'd gotten Aurora to sleep.
"Jamie just left, I went to kiss her and she froze. I made her explain why, she told me everything"
"What did she tell you?"
"If you don't know I can't repeat it, sorry. But what do I do? Where would she go?"
"Hang on," the man ordered as I heard a ruffling of the phone,
"Stephie? Shane's here for Summerslam isn't he?"
"Yea" I heard Steph's voice mutter,
"Did Marissa and the kids come with him?"
"No, they're coming in the morning, why?" came Steph's muffled reply,
"Jamie's left Dave"
"Dave are you still there?" Paul asked me.
"Yep,"
"Steph wants to talk to you,"
"Ok sure," I didn't particularly want to talk to Stephanie but I knew she'd be able to give me more insight into Jamie's whereabouts.
"Dave hun you there?"
"Yea"
"Why did Jamie leave?"
"I stuffed up I guess. I went to kiss her and she pulled away, I couldn't take it anymore and begged her to tell me why she kept pulling away."
"So she told you about Conner?"
"Yea then she left"
"She'll have gone to Shane's room for the night, those two used to be inseparable. But leave her alone for now, don't go rushing into things, plan out what you're going to do. That is if you want her to come back"
"Of course I do!" I hissed out, I couldn't believe what she'd just said,
"Then just take it slowly. I'm tired hun so I'll let you talk to Paulie again. Love you Dave"
"Love you Steph," I sighed and listened for Steph to hand the phone back to her husband. We spoke for a while, my friend consoling me over what had happened as well as talking about other stuff, you know just catching up. After a while I heard Aurora's muffled cry, the infant probably wanted to be fed,
"I better go look after Aurora, Steph's asleep and I don't want to wake her, so its daddy to the rescue," my friend said laughing slightly,
"Sure,"
"Are you going to be ok?"
"Yea sure, I might hang out with Jack and Johnny for a while" I sighed referring to the alcoholic drink I had stashed in my liquor cabinet
"Alright, just don't drink too much. Why don't you ring Cena and see if he'll join you?" My friend asked concerned about my drinking alone.
"Maybe, now go look after that girl"
"Alright, I'll see you later buddy"
"Ciao," I sighed and hung up the phone before ignoring my friend's suggestion and heading to my cabinet to pour myself a Jack Daniels.
-----------------------------------
A/N: Davie's lost Jamie before he even had her! Can he get her back?