2: What the Hell?! Baby food?!
Anyways! I reply to your fabulous comments! ;_; I'm crying...
YOU GUYS INSPIRE ME SO MUCH. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.
my replies~
Anon: thanks for telling me about Reiner! ^^ I'll be sure to do something about him!
BTW.
it's a gag to say he's homo Lol XD
Vale: YES. YES I WILL. ;)
.
.
.
(-Eren-)
.
.
.
"You may leave for lunch now."
Hearing that, Eren desperately scrambled out of the classroom in search for a washroom.
HE HAD TO DO IT.
HE HAD TO DO IT.
HE DEFINITELY HAD TO DO IT.
HE HAD TO FUCKING PEE OR HE WOULD FUCKING EXPLODE.
That banana teacher must've had something against him because, the moment he stood up to go to the washroom, she suddenly barged in the room and forced him to sit down, calling him restless and disrespectful. Thus, he had to hold his urine the entire period and endure.
ENDURE THE FUCKING ACIDIC PISS DAMMIT.
She even scared the shit out of him, suddenly grabbing his arm when he was returning to his seat and making him almost wet his pants.
Finally finding it, he slammed open the washroom door, ran to one of the urinals, and proceeded to relieve himself.
"Heaven, this is heaven" He moaned, finally being lifted from his earlier torture.
"Oh, so this is where you ran off to..." Armin mumbled, finally being able to catch up to him. "Relieve yourself?"
"Yeah." Eren replied, zipping up his pants. "I had to hold it in for the whole class, thanks to that dick-tionana of a teacher." He grumbled, earning an amused smile from Armin.
"..dick-tionana?" His best friend deadpanned, attempting to copy the voice of the dick-tionana herself. "Very interesting, Mr. Jaeger."
"I know I'm interesting." Eren joked, turning his head to the side and noticing a blushing Mikasa looking at them in the mens' washroom. "Oh shit, Armin, don't look now, but my pervert sister's peeking on us."
"We're not exposing anything, you know. It's fine." Armin corrected, looking at Mikasa and smiling teasingly. "Although, Eren, she might be...imagining something when she looks at you."
"Armin, I can hear you. Do you wish to live, or die?" Mikasa monotonously threatened, covering her reddening cheeks with her scarf. The blonde let out a soft yelp and raised his hands in the air. "Live. I wanna live."
"Speaking of live," Eren said, rubbing his stomach. "If I want to live, I gotta feed this baby." His stomach grumbled, making him grin crookedly at the two, who were wondering whether or not they should be disgusted of their precious Eren. "Listen! It's crying!"
Mikasa, after regaining her composure, nodded. "Yes, Eren, we must hurry and feed your baby!" She barged into the mens' washroom, to the two teens' surprise.
"WHAT THE HELL MIKAS-"
"ssssh, Eren." She punched his stomach and carried the unconscious him out of the washroom, ignoring the stunned onlookers, with a stunned Armin following. "Let's get you some sustenance."
"Uh, Mikasa, I think that's too much..." Armin whispered, noticing the large amount of attention it was gathering. Mikasa stopped walking and spun around to look him in the eye.
"ssssh, Armin."
BAM.
And with that, Mikasa was seen carrying two unconscious boys, one brunette and the other blonde, to the clinic.
.
"Eren."
Eren woke up to the smell of...baby food.
Wait.
What the duck? Baby food?
"Eren, here comes the train..." Mikasa muttered softly, violently stuffing a spoonful of disgusting, brown baby food into his mouth. (HOW DID SHE DO THAT?! HIS MOUTH WAS CLOSED, DUCKING CLOSED.)
"WHAT THE HELL, MIKASA?!" He yelled after swallowing his food properly. (2# Jaeger rule: Always swallow your food properly, no matter how horrible it tastes, unless it's poisonous and inedible.)
His mouth was brutally violated with baby food again.
Mikasa looked at him, her mouth curved slightly upward. "As you are feeding your baby, I am simply feeding my baby."
After swallowing properly again, he complained. "I'm not your baby, Mikasa! Where's Armin!"
"Hush, Eren, babies do not complain." Mikasa calmly replied, somehow violently stuffing his closed mouth again with baby food.
"Won't you even ask me if this tastes good?" Eren asked, once again, (sad to say) after swallowing properly.
The raven smiled at his question. "Okay. Eren, does this yummy baby food taste good?"
"No. It looks like shit and tastes like shit. Double whammy." He jokingly said.
Seeing the dark glint in her eyes that meant he and Armin might die, Eren smiled sheepishly at her. "No offense, Mikasa, it really does taste horrible. Try it yourself."
"...ok" She took a small portion of the shit, known as baby food, and placed it in her mouth, savoring the taste. "...It doesn't taste that bad...I made it myself..."
Why the heck would Mikasa make baby food?
"So where's Armin?" He asked.
"Eating in the cafeteria." She replied, tasting some more of her baby food.
"Really? Why didn't you let m-"
"No."
"Scuse me?"
"...that was a funny joke...Armin's not eating in the cafeteria..."
"...Ha...Ha...funny...yeah..." Eren gibbered, not knowing what else to react to his sister's abnormal (he means extremely far beyond normal as in the distance between stars kind of normal) sense of humor. (Yeah, he studied, thanks to her) "Hell yeah it's funny... It's so funny my laugh box broke...ha..."
"Eren." Mikasa called, squinting her eyes at him suspiciously. "If you say its funny, then why aren't you laughing...?"
Holy banana, she was sharp.
"Because, I told you, my laugh box broke."
She crossed her arms. "Not funn-"
"Hey, Mikasa, I bought more 1 dollar baby food from the cafeteria." Armin said, entering the clinic with a cardboard box in his arms. "Now please don't tell Annie I like her."
Eren gaped at him. "HOLY NANABA, YOU LIKE ANNIE?!"
"Holy Annie, you're awake?!" Armin shrieked, making a loud thud as he dropped the box.
"Holy Eren..." Mikasa mumbled, grabbing at the baby-food-filled box.
"Hey- what's with all the one dollar baby food? I thought you made these by yourself."
"It was...a joke."
"And why's the cafeteria here sell baby food? Is it like they expect us teens to come here with babies? Or is it that they expect a baby to be in high school?"
"...You're a baby." Mikasa pointed out, to Eren's irritation. "Now who's going to finish all of the baby food here?"
The brunette's face turned pale.
No.
Not me.
Definitely not fucking me...
"NOT ME, I'M NOT GOING TO EAT THAT SHIT AGAIN. I'M GONNA GO EAT SOME REAL FOOD." Eren yelled, jumping out of the clinic bed and running straight for the door. "SEE YOU TWO LATER."
"...If its for you, Eren, then I'd be willing to sacrifice my own stomach..." A blushing Mikasa mumbled, as the clinic door slammed shut.
( BONUS- a bit of Armin's point of view)
"Thank God..." Armin sighed, wiping his forehead of the sweat that formed. "I think he forgot about Annie..."
"...Armin?"
Noticing a dangerous glint in his friend's eyes, he back away to the door slowly. "Y-yes, Mikasa?"
"Kindly eat all this baby food..."
Knowing that resistance was futile if his opponent was the inhuman Mikasa, Armin decided to try and convince her not to feed him the gooey baby food. After all, he didn't have an iron stomach like her and his best friend, and what if the whole box of baby food that'd sell for just one dollar was toxic?
"But you said that you'd sacrifice your stomach for him!" He reasoned.
"When I said that, I meant transplant." She matter-of-a-factly replied, grabbing a jar and thrusting it into his hands. "So if Eren's stomach fails to function, I'd give him mine...Now eat up, Armin." She commanded.
Armin could only sob quietly, as he ate the baby food jar by jar, in the clinic, with a slave driver (Mikasa) ruthlessly watching.
Eren was right.
It definitely tasted like shit. (Even worse, to tell the truth)
He didn't think he was going to last long.
.
(Back to you-know-who!~)
Sighing, Eren could only pity Armin as he ate some of the somewhat legit, cafeteria-bought lunch.
Knowing Mikasa, who was strangely obsessed with babying him(for some reasons that he could never figure out), she would've fed all of the horrible tasting baby food to him; and there were about two large boxes of those stuff. Poor Armin might have to suffer from food poisoning for the third time this year. (the previous incidents were also caused by Mikasa telling him to mass buy ultra cheap food and because Eren didn't want to eat it, forced Armin to eat it instead.)
When it came to cooking, Mikasa was the best and the fastest chef ever, even better than his mom, Carla. So what was with her, ordering Armin to buy lots of ultra disgusting and unhealthy but cheap food for him?! It'd be way better off if she just cooked a simple, delicious lunch for him. (Why was he thinking of this, again?)
Come to think of it, that habit only started at the start of last summer vacation, when he joked her that he liked a lot of unhealthy, gooey stuff... (He couldn't help it, he loved soggy fries...especially with the creamy, salty cheese...oh yes...*foodgasms*)
Oh god...
How could he realize it just now...
SHE TOOK WHAT HE SAID SERIOUSLY.
SHIT.
SHIT.
HOLY NANABA BANANA.
IT WAS A JOKE.
A FUCKING JOKE.
WHY DID SHE TAKE IT SO SERIOUSLY?!
NOW ARMIN WAS PROBABLY DYING BECAUSE OF HIM.
ON THE FIRST DAY OF HIGHSCHOOL.
SHIT.
POOR ARMIN.
WHAT A MAN.
Quickly finishing his lunch, Eren flung it into the trash can, barely missing it, and ran to the clinic, where the two of them still were.
Slamming the door open, he realized that he was far too late.
There was Armin, lying on the clinic bed, with diarrhea, and an extremely nauseous look on his face.
Holy Nanaba, how did he eat all that baby food...
Mikasa was nowhere to be see-
"Eren."
Oh, nevermind.
"About what I said last year, Mikasa, that was a joke." Eren pointed out, scratching the back of his head. "I thought you would know, I mean, you're not stupid..."
She became silent, but after a few minutes, spoke up. "...Eren, you're stupid. This is why I fell for it." She softly touched the scarf around her neck. "By the way, Eren, because you said that, then this will be called a joke."
"But Armin-"
"Armin is a victim of my joke. Do not worry, Eren, I am just training his stomach...so it will be nice and firm, like yours..." She started to blush.
My stomach's nice and firm? But I don't remember stripping in front of her...
"Hey, Mikasa, did I ever strip in front of you?"
"A-ah, uhm. N-no.. Joke...!" Mikasa suddenly turned bright red and punched the lights out of him.
.
Guess who joined Armin in the clinic for the whole day...
.
Author's note:
I'm sorry this is so short! I sort of suck when it comes to guy POVS and I wanted to make Mikasa's already!
Readers!
I need your help! Please tell me if Eren is okay... I promise I'll make it longer next time!
I accept constructive reviews! XD
BTW. I also made this chapter quite short so I can post some information here.
There are three divisions of the Student Council
1. The wings division. (A.k.a. Survey corps.) Levi, Erwin, Squad Levi, and Hange are part.
-focuses on competing with other schools, host clubs, competitions, and a lot of paper work for the teachers. (This is why they love Erwin.)
2. The rose division. (Garrison) unamed. Sorry!
- aids the wings division, dislikes paperwork, handles the sports obstacle courses.
3. The unicorn (lol) division. (Military police)
- corrupt, rich, arrogant, part of the student council that surveys the school for rule breakers, teachers exempted. (you win this round, Nanaba -banana-)
there are 4 famous schools with the same principal/ head
-Maria Kindergarten
-Rose Elementary
-Sina Highschool
-Wall College
One of Sina High's greatest rivals is Anis High. (Because I can think of any other legit name, that's why.) Get it? Sina, anis?
Even I have no idea why the Sina cafeteria's selling baby food. It is a mystery, we cannot solve...
TILL NEXT UPDATE!
BYE!
:)