Hello again, my lovely readers! I am back! I am sooo sorry it took so long for me to update this, but I've been having a terrible time lately so I took forever to write it. Anyway, this was supposed to be a New Year's present, but it was late. Oops!

And because all of you are amazing people and I have reached a grand total of 22,465 words, 16 reviews, 28 followers and 2,657 views (seriously you guys are amazing I love you) THIS IS BY FAR THE LONGEST CHAPTER I'VE EVER WROTE! And I'm sooo excited! Starting off the New Year right, in my oppinion. Anyway, I hope you love this chapter!

By the way I don't own Ouran, and I never did. I am NOT (sadly) secretly Bisco Hatori.

Chapter 11: In which Kaoru is depressed

"Aislin Reid?"
"Speaking..."
"I'm calling on behalf of the Black Magic Club. We regret to inform you, but you have been expelled from the club."

I got the phone call last Friday. I still don't know why I got kicked out, and I couldn't even recognize the voice on the phone. My first thought was how rude and impersonal that was, it wasn't even Nekozawa that told me, and they didn't even give a reason. And as far as I know, they wouldn't have found anything wrong with it. Ouran doesn't require you to give reason for things like leaving a club. I called Reiko, and she told me she didn't even know it was happening. She seemed really upset, and that was what really hit me. I'd grown to like Reiko in my time in the Black Magic Club, and without it I won't be able to see her much any more. I think that was what upset me the most about it.

It's Monday, and it feels so weird to not be going to the club again. I've been trying to think of why they'd kick me out, but I don't think I did anything wrong. My mind keeps wandering to the small possibility of Kyoya having something to do with it. He /did/ want me out of the club, but somehow I just don't think he'd do something like that. I try to banish the thought from my mind, not wanting to focus on the cause. It doesn't really matter why, what's done is done, there's nothing I can do about it. Sitting here and wondering why isn't going to help me with anything.
I try to keep a positive attitude in life, but some days that requires a bit of effort. Today is one of those days. Not only was I just kicked out of the club, but I made the mistake of telling Kyle that I was. All morning he was going on about how it was possibly his fault, since he talked to Kyoya that day. I hate seeing him upset, he looks like a miserable little puppy. His big brown eyes are not made to look sad. It's really touching though, that he cared so much. He'gs only been living with my family for a few weeeks, but he is already like my brother. It kind of amazes me that it's only been a few weeks, because it feels like it's been longer.
Walking to class, I remain alone in these thoughts, like I usually do. I rarely ever run into friends before school starts, and I use this small window of time to just think. Never about anything specific, just whatever is on my mind at the time. Usually I get to class about five minutes early and sit at my desk and do this. Hardly any of my friends come early. Haruhi usually comes just on time, because he spends his free time in the library, and the twins are usually lucky if they make it before the teacher does. So, you can imagine my surprise when I get there - five minutes early, as usual- and find Kaoru already there, sitting in his desk. Even more surprising, though, he was alone.
I go and sit down in my desk as usual, and take out my note book to be ready for class. This time, instead of just sitting there, I turn to the ginger two desks to my right. "Good morning, Kaoru." I say pleasantly, actually rather glad to have company this time. Kaoru doesn't say anything, just nods. He seems really focused on something he's writing down, he's staring intently at it.
"What are you working on?" I ask, trying to maintain conversation.
"I- uh- homework." Kaoru says rather awkwardly, and just leaves it at that.
"Oh... okay." He obviously doesn't want to talk about it, and I can't see why. I don't push it though, if he doesn't want to share I'm not going to make him.
"So, where is Hikaru? He's usually with you." Kaoru doesn't reply to my question at all, like he didn't hear it. Except, I know that he did. He wants me to think he's too absorbed in what he's doing to hear me right, but I know him better that. He didn't verbally reply, no, but he did respond. His eyebrows knitted together a bit and he looks really conflicted. I've found what's bothering him, apparently. Hikaru.
It was a couple minutes later before he finally spoke up, people were already starting to come into class. He said it very quietly, but I heard it. "We're not the same person. We do things separately sometimes."
"I know that, Kaoru. I never thought otherwise." I say honestly. I've always thought of them as two separate people, never a 'set' like most people seem to.
Kaoru looks at me strangely, as if he expected this to be news to me, or maybe it is to someone else. I smile at him reassuringly and his expression changes yet again, but this time he turns away really quickly.
"Hello Aislin!" Speak of the devil? Almost right after I'd said that, Hikaru walked into class with Haruhi and came to sit next to me. "Oh... hey, Hikaru." I reply, turning to face him. Hikaru looks the exact opposite of his brother, aura wise, today. He seems very cheerful and upbeat, care free, even.
"Having a nice Monday, Hikaru?" I question rather suspiciously.
"I'd say so, yeah."
"And what put you in such a good mood on a Monday?" I say, emphasizing the word 'Monday'. I specifically remember a certain devious twin saying he hated the beginning of the week.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" He says smirking devilishly, which is something I've learned to be a sort of trade-mark of his. Kaoru does it too sometimes, but not as often. Speaking of which, I wonder if Hikaru knows what's wrong with his brother?
"Hey, Hikaru, is something bothering Kaoru that you know of? He doesn't seem himself today." He doesn't seem to know how to respond to this question.
"Er... well... No, he was fine earlier." Hikaru says quickly. I just nod, but I have the feeling I was lied to yet again. I can't help but wonder if Hikaru's good mood today is related to Kaoru's bad one, or even the cause of it?

That same behavior continued over the rest of the week. Kaoru became more and more distant, and Hikaru remained uncharacteristically cheerful. One thing I'd noticed, though, was that I hadn't seen the twins together once throughout the week. I've been spending most of my free time with Haruhi. From talking to him, I've been able to gather that they're mad at each other. Or at least, Kaoru is upset with Hikaru. But that's only my reading between the lines. According to Haruhi, Kaoru stopped talking to Hikaru first, and neither of them have been attending Host Club meetings.
And that's why I'm here, on the doorstep of the Haninozuka household, this Thursday afternoon. Sort of. Haruhi had told me that he's noticed Kaoru talking to Honey pretty often since Monday, but he won't talk to anyone else. So I decided to approach my senpai and ask for help, which he was glad to deliver. He told me that Kaoru didn't mention anything about a fight with Hikaru to him at all, and was in fact acting rather normal. This is what mostly confuses me, as just about everyone I've spoken to (including Tamaki and Kyoya) have noticed strange behavior from him.
When I told Honey that Kaoru wouldn't talk to me, he seemed really confused. It surprised me that he came up with a solution so quickly, though. He invited Kaoru to his house today after school, and me the same. I got her before Kaoru, luckily. Honey says that I need to talk to Kaoru somewhere he can't quickly get away if he wanted to. Apparently my laughter at that statement was inappropriate. Honey was dead serious, and that kind of worried me.
"Ai-chan!" I hear a high-pitched voice call from inside the house. "Chika-chan, go get the door for me!" Honey, at least I assume it's Honey, says. A moment later the front door opens, and I see a fairly skinny boy with light brown hair appear. "You are Aislin?" He asks, and I nod. His voice is such a serious-monotone voice. Why is he at Honey-senpai's house? They can't be related, can they?
"Aislin!" Honey comes in to greet me. "This is my brother, Yasuchika!"
"Nice to meet you, Yasuchika." I say, but he just awkwardly nods then leaves. Honey shrugs and pulls me into a sitting room type area. "Kao-chan should be here soon, so just make yourself comfortable. Would you like some tea?" I start to reply, but I'm interrupted by a knock on the door. "That must be him." Honey says, and he disappears to go answer it. I sit down on a couch.
"Welcome, Kao-chan! Come in!"
"Hey Honey-senpai."
"Would you like some tea?"
"Eh... sure? But why did you want me to-"
"Good! Go sit in there and wait and I'll bring it."
I hear Kaoru mutter a hesitant "Okay" before his footsteps start towards the room I'm in. "Aislin," Kaoru asks once he notices me, "what are /you/ doing here?" He finishes rather hesitantly, probably already getting the hint that he's been set up. "Honey-senpai invited me over." I say calmly, it's technically not a lie. "So, what've you been up to Kaoru, I haven't seen much of you lately." I say casually.
To which he just shrugs and replies "Nothing." I nod in response, trying to phrase my next sentence carefully. I know what I want to say, I just don't know how to say it.
"Not to be rude, but you seem to be acting differently lately, Kaoru. I asked Hikaru about it when you wouldn't tell me, and he said he didn't know either." I say carefully, I feel almost like I'm treading on glass. What if he simply didn't want to be around me anymore? I doubt that, since it's not only me he's been avoiding, but the thought is still there.
"Have I?" Kaoru asks, you'd think this would be a sarcastic response, but he seems genuinely curious. Maybe he didn't know?
"Yeah, and I'm not the only one that thinks so, Haruhi agrees with me. We tried asking Hikaru about it, thought maybe he'd know if something was up, but he wouldn't tell us anything. And, well... I was just... We were worried, is all." In my head this all seemed very rational, obviously something must be upsetting him for him to just suddenly be acting differently, right? But what if I was wrong? Saying it out loud makes me feel that way. I look down at my feet while I sit there, feeling kind of stupid.
"I'm sorry, Aislin." Kaoru says and I feel the other side of the couch sink down, he must've sat down next to me. I keep staring down as he continues, "I didn't mean to worry you like that, and I guess I just didn't notice. Thinking back on it, yeah I probably seemed like a jerk to you, huh? You all probably thought I was avoiding you." He laughs a little. "I can be a bit of an idiot sometimes."
I sit up straight and turn so I'm facing Kaoru, and look at him quizzically. Does he seriously think I'd fall for that? He probably expects me to laugh along and say "Only a bit?" and then he'd be able to change the subject. Granted, this more than he's talked to me all week, but still. He's smiling still, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Never trust your eyes," my mom would always tell me, "they trick you and betray you." I think Kaoru could benefit from that piece of advice, his are currently betraying him. His mouth smiles, but his eyes look troubled. I hate to pry, or make people talk about something they don't want to, but I really want to know why that is. I hate seeing my friend like this.
"Why is that, Kaoru? Why have you been so distant? It has something to do with your brother, doesn't it?"
Kaoru looks surprised at this. "What makes you think that?" He asks, rather defensively if you ask me.
"Well, considering I haven't even seen you two in the same room other than class? And even then you don't talk to each other. It's not advanced psychology." I say, that was a kind of stupid question.
Kaoru looks really conflicted, like his contemplating something really hard. I reach over and rest a hand on his shoulder, drawing his attention back to me. "You can talk to me about it. You know that, right?" He nods hesitantly.
"I wanted to I just... you seemed to busy, what with your /club/ and everything." I'm taken aback for a moment before I regain my composure. Did he really think I was too busy to talk to? Is that why he wasn't talking to me? Why would he think tha- You know what? Nevermind. That's not really the most important issue right now.
"I'm never too busy for my friends, Kaoru. But nevermind that, I'm here now. I want to listen, what's been bothering you?"
He looks deep in thought again for a minute or two, maybe choosing how to say it. I give him his time.
"I just felt alone... and since I was so caught up concentrating on that, I was subconsciously isolating myself further." He says simply, I open my mouth to question, but he cuts me off. "Let me explain. Hikaru has recently discovered something about himself. Really, I'd known the whole time, but you know how Hikaru can be sometimes. Especially about himself. Anyway, he's realized that he has feelings for this person, and has decided to act on them as a result."
That would be why Hikaru's been so happy lately.
"Which is great for him, and I'm happy for him, I really am. There was just an unexpected down-side for me. Lately he's been spending more and more time with this person, and thus I've been seeing him a lot less. I started to feel like I was loosing my twin, I guess. I decided I needed to talk to someone about it instead of just being upset, you know? I was going to talk to you, actually, but... Well, every time I tried you were always with someone else - usually from that club of yours- or at your club, or something like that. I just... I didn't feel like I could talk to you."
"You could've though. Me or Hikaru, actually, I'm positive if you would've told us, either of us, we would've dropped what we were doing to listen." I say, feeling really bad that I didn't notice before that he had something important to say. I should've been more attentive.
"I know that Aislin, I do, it's just... I don't know... You both seemed so happy with what you were doing, I didn't want to bring that down with my problems." He looks down, looking kind of ashamed. I can't help it, I reach over and wrap him in a hug, which seems to surprise him. "You're too nice sometimes, you know that?" I say, which makes him laugh.
"You know, Honey-senpai is taking forever with that tea." He says, standing up.
"Yeah, we should go find him." I agree, conversation over. He holds out a hand to help me up and I take it, and then we head in the direction Honey left in.
We're already out of the other room, next to the front door, when I notice I still haven't let go of his hand. I quickly withdrew it, probably blushing a bit, and quicken my pace. "So, you don't have to worry about the whole black-magic club thing anymore, at least." I say, trying to draw attention from what just happened.
"Why is that?" Kaoru asks. Oh yeah, I never got to tell him, did I?
"I got kicked out." I say nonchalantly, it's not as much of a big deal any more.
"I'm sorry, Aislin."
"Doesn't matter any more." I shrug as we reach what is apparently the kitchen, and see Honey sitting in front of a counter with a bunch of tea. When we reach him he says a lot of things like 'I was just about to go find you!' and stuff, but I know he was trying to give us time to talk.
"Hey, I bet Kyoya would like that." Kaoru says laughing a little, still talking about me getting kicked out of the club. Suddenly the three of us freeze and stare at each other.
"You don't think he..."
"Kyoya-senpai wouldn't do that, would he?"
"What if it was Kyo-chan?"

And haha, I kinda gave you a cliffie. Deal with it. So, anyway, please review! It makes me want to write more! Anyway, I also have a question for all of you. Would you like it if I wrote a chapter from Kyle (Aislin's lil' bro)'s point of view?

Next chapter: (Possibly) A look into the life of Kyle.

~ Desime