Ludwig blinked, not believing his brother was just going to leave his pancakes untouched. This was very unlike him. The only thing he could get his brother to tell him about what happened with Ivan was, 'I fucked up.' This was strange for one reason, his brother never fucked up. Well, of course he did; he was only human. But it was more the fact that Gilbert admitted he fucked up that was surprising. Something really terrible must've happened. He just couldn't manage to get his brother to say what happened. He started worrying, something was seriously wrong.

Gilbert sighed and poked at the maple syrup now spilling over the pancake's edge.

Ludwig caught sight of this. Despite his hard shell, he was really very caring, especially to his older brother who had raised him when their father left. He had worried ever since the first night Gilbert came back.

He could recall it all: Gilbert showing up at the door with a clearly fake smile and then Ludwig holding onto him as he cried his eyes out. He held him the entire night. Gilbert eventually fell asleep and refused to acknowledge his former behavior from the night.

"Gilbert?" Ludwig had had enough. He needed to know what was wrong with his brother. It was killing him to see the other crumble before his very eyes.

His brother looked up from his trance to meet his brother bright blue eyes with his own red ones, "What?"

His voice lacked the normal enthusiasm it had. Everything lacked in him since he returned from Russia. His entire body no longer had the color it once did before then. The only other time he had gotten this upset was when he became just a regular person instead of a country.

"You need to tell me, I'm done with this shit," Ludwig's sudden use of profanity meant this was business.

Gilbert stared at him, "I fucked up."

Of course! There it was again! The whole 'I fucked up' excuse. Well, that wasn't an answer!

"I mean it!"

Gilbert glared, "Just drop it, okay! Stop trying to be the damn hero. You're just like that fucking American!" He stood up and left the room, tired of trying to conceal his emotions.

Ludwig's hands balled into fists. He was done with trying to get Gilbert to speak. He'd just get the information from Ivan. If he refused to tell, he'd use force; something he was too afraid to use against his older brother.

Ivan picked up the phone, "Hello?"

"What the fuck did you do to my brother!?"

It was Ludwig, he sounded pissed.

Ivan simply shook his head, even though it was pointless as the other could not see him, "I didn't do anything to him. He did something to me but I bet he's just telling you lies, right? I bet he's telling you that I did something and that it's my fault all this happened. I bet he's-" Ivan's voice was cut off by Ludwig's.

"Actually, he's putting the blame on himself. He keeps telling me that he fucked up."

"Listen," Ivan began, "If he's asking you to call me up for him, tell him to go to hell. Tell him that if he really wants to talk to me he can do it himself."

"Again, he's not. I just want to know what happened between you and him. He's refusing to eat. His spirit is broken."

These words crushed Ivan for a reason he knew all too well. The only reason he stopped torturing Gilbert was because he didn't want his pride to be crushed. And now none of it mattered. Gilbert was finally destroyed. His pride is what made him who he was and now he was no more. Could there actually be a better explanation for why he did what he did? Sure he'd be devastated if his plan was foiled but Ivan never imagined him to be crushed; there had to be a better reason.

"I want to talk to him."

Ludwig frowned, "I don't think the same can be said for him."

Ivan hung up suddenly, probably making his reputation with Ludwig even worse than it already was. He ran his fingers through his hair and thought on what he could do. He hadn't tried calling once since the incident but wasn't so sure that the other would even answer. He did seem desperate, however, to explain something when Ivan was forcing him out of his house and onto the plane. He just didn't bother to listen.

He held his cellphone in his hand and stared at the numbers he had saved as contacts. Gilbert's; or as it was named: 'Sunflower.' He took a deep sigh and pressed call.

It rang four times before there was finally an answer, "Hallo?" Gilbert had deleted Ivan's contact information. He hoped that it might help him forget about everything. As his brother had told him almost immediately after seeing him cry, 'You need to move on.'

Ivan closed his eyes and sat down in the nearest chair, "Prussia."

Gilbert's eyes widened. Ivan? What was he doing calling him? He told him to get out of his life forever so why would he want to make contact with him?

Before he could say anything, Ivan spoke again, "You tried to explain the reasoning behind why you did what you did. I need to know."

Those damn diaries. It wasn't only the ones he'd brought to Russia that suffered the consequences, it was all of them. He destroyed every single one. He didn't even bother to try to begin again. It was pointless.

Now was now. Ivan wanted an explanation and that's what he was going to get.

A deep breath was heard being taken on Gilbert's end, "I made a plan to overthrow you by gaining your trust and love. As our relationship went on, I realized that my plan was fucking terrible. I mean, flawless, but as a human being terrible. I actually fell in love with you, Ivan. I didn't want this to happen but now there's nothing to do about it, right?"

Ivan absorbed every word as it was being said. Should he even let himself believe this bullshit?

"It sounds like you just made up this story on the spot, Gilbert. You actually expect me to believe this shit? So what? Now I can just go back to you and get killed by you? Your plan fell through and I saw it. Now you just want me back."

"Ivan I'm not trying to steal your land! I fucking love you, you idiot! I don't want this to happen! I want to be with you! I destroyed all my plans!"

"Plans can be easily restored, Prussia!" There was again the use of Prussia with such harshness behind it that it didn't even sound like it was his beloved country anymore.

"I'm not going to fucking restore them! I love you! Get this into your thick fucking skull!" Gilbert's eyes started to water and sobbing could be heard through his voice, "I'm in love with you! I don't want anyone else! Ivan, I want to be yours!"

"It's too late for that."

He hung up on the other. He had called to do what again, start another fight with Gilbert and make it worse?

"Fucking stupid!"

Gilbert threw his phone against the wall and it broke, "I HATE YOU!"

His body slid down the wall into a fetal position, "I love you…"

His sobs filled the room. This wasn't awesome. Crying was the farthest thing from it. He gripped his hair in his fists and watched as the tears spilled down from his face and onto the carpet. He got up to get a bottle of beer from the fridge.

He held it in his hands, a bottle of prescription drugs and his beer. He sat in the bathroom and looked up at the dim light. He took two pills to start off with. He smiled, already drunk on the beer he had drunk prior to this.

"You're useless, Prussia. Or wait, no, you're not a country anymore, Gilbert! You're just a person! You're a useless waste of space. Kill yourself! We hate you!" He took five more, "No one will ever love you because you failed at being a country! You're a failure and Fritz hates you!" Gilbert spoke these insults still with a smile plastered on his face.

He stood and wobbled a bit, grabbing onto the counter for help in balancing, "Oh Fritz, I guess you were wrong! I won't be joining you in heaven. I'll be going to hell, baby! Back where I belong! I was born from the fires and now I'm going back to them! BACK WHERE I FUCKING BELONG! ARE YOU HAPPY, IVAN!? I WON'T BOTHER YOU ANYMORE, YOU DAMN PIECE OF-"

Ludwig barged in and his eyes widened, "Gilbert, what the hell!?"

"West?" Gilbert turned and fell to the ground.

A splitting headache was present when Gilbert awoke, "What the hell?"

Ivan stood before him, "Sunflower?"

"Why are you here?" He hadn't any recollection of the events prior to awakening at the moment.

"I didn't think you were going to wake up. You're so stupid." Ivan's eyes had been stained with tears. Gilbert could tell when he moved forward to hug him tightly.

He was so confused, "I thought you hated me… So why are you?"

Ivan's fingers ran through Gilbert's hair, "Why didn't I listen to you?"

"What the fuck is going on!?" Gilbert's confusion made him speak out in anger.

"You don't remember?" He pulled away to look at the other. The confusion on his face hinted that Ivan needed to explain, "You tried killing yourself… You overdosed on pills and had to be taken to the E.R. Your brother found you in the act. After you arrived, he called me. I doubt he would've if he realized it was my fault."

Gilbert took in the information and smacked the other.

Ivan blinked and stared at the other, "What was that for!?"

"You said so yourself, it was your fault…" He looked down at the ground not believing he would go so far as to kill himself over this, "Now will you listen?"

The fight was still fresh in Gilbert's mind and was all he could think about as it was the last rational thing he could remember.

Ivan bit his lip and looked down as well, "I should have believed you to begin with. I don't know why I did what I did… I should have believed you. So do you- do you really love me?"

His eyes returned to the other's face, "I told you that, didn't I? I believe I even screamed it."

Ivan's eyes looked into Gilbert's, "So yes, I do love you."

Neither was sure on where to go from here. Should they be together and forget everything? It was seemingly what they both wanted. It wasn't a matter of what to do really, but could they do it? Could everything be forgotten?

Ivan answered that question by leaning down and kissing Gilbert. Their lips met and it seemed that yes, they could overcome anything. Nothing was too big for their love. This was meant to be.

They returned back to Ludwig's house. He watched carefully at the couple across from him.

"I need to know that you'll never do this again, Gilbert. And Russia, I need from you to know that you won't hurt my brother," He spoke up at last.

Gilbert smirked, "I'm awesome. I never make the same mistake twice, remember that!"

They both now looked at Ivan, "And you?" Ludwig asked.

He smiled, "I would never even dream of hurting him again. That's the last thing I'd want to do."

Ludwig took a sip of the coffee in front of him, "Alright. But I don't want Gilbert to be so hasty in leaving Germany again."

Gilbert started to laugh. Ivan smiled in amusement as well.

Ludwig remained unamused, "What is it?"

"My bags are already packed and we're set to leave on the plane at two."

His brother's eyes widened, "It's only been three days since you left the hospital! Shouldn't you think about this before you actually act upon it!?"

"Oh please," Gilbert scoffed, "It's not like I'm going into battle where a tactic is needed. I'm just moving out."

"Wait, you're moving out!?" This was the first time Ludwig had heard about it. He looked to Ivan who had remained quiet in all but his laughing, "Was this your idea?"

Ivan shook his head, "This was all on your brother, but I was more than glad to agree to it. I love him."

Ludwig stood up from his chair and left the room, clearly pissed off. His brother had just tried to kill himself over the other and he was going right back to him without thinking. This couldn't possibly end well. What if it happened again? He wasn't going to be in Russia and so if it happened again, he wouldn't be there to save him.

If this is truly what made Gilbert happy and what he wanted then he had to let him be with Ivan. He couldn't keep him from happiness.

Ivan looked at his lover, "Maybe we should think about this. I mean your brother doesn't seem to think this is a good idea."

Gilbert spoke up, "He never thinks anything is a good idea."

"But he's your brother. Shouldn't you take how he feels into consideration?"

Ludwig returned, "Fine! But if anything happens to my brother, it will be you on the chopping block, Russia!"