15. Bathing in Artificial Light
His was a deep and fulfilling presence, so vast to the point that it was overwhelming. He brought on a curiously profound range of feelings and at one point, in the young and naive portion of her life, she once set out in determined fashion to sort the exact emotions he stirred within her self. She gave many a valiant attempt at categorizing reactions to him before wisely giving it up as an unceasing evolution of sensations and eventually turned to dissecting the man himself. She should have known better, she would berate herself later. And when that later came, she would look back and realize she had known all along.
Both endeavors had been doomed from the start.
And even in the last days as she identified the true ugliness of his darkness, she willingly let live the lie that was her perception of the man she wanted to see.