Warning: There is reference to past incest-rape in this chapter.

#

"Mother! Where have you been?" Idunn marched into Freyja's room, looking overwrought and exhausted. "I've been looking everywhere for you! There is a mass of rumours and news to be told. Last night, at the feast- Why are you packing?"

Freyja knew her eyes were dry, but she turned her back anyway, so that her second-eldest (She's my eldest now. Hnossa's dead.) wouldn't see the despair etched in her face. "I'm going to stay with the dwarves for a while."

"What?" Idunn's pretty face distorted with disgust.

"You heard me."

"Wha- why?! I know you spend occasional nights there," Idunn's nose wrinkled in distaste, "But actually going to stay with them? What purpose could that possibly serve, Mother?!"

"Because Brokk needs me."

Idunn rolled her eyes. "Mor, you owe him nothing-"

"He's dying."

Idunn's jaw dropped. "...What?"

"Brokk is dying. According to the healers, he'll be dead in a few weeks. So I am going to stay with him until the end." Freyja's shoulders sagged. "I don't suppose you understand?"

"No." Idunn folded her arms, setting her jaw stubbornly. "I don't want to... but... I am not glad he is dying, however many times I might have said otherwise." The last words were spoken slowly, as if with an effort.

Freyja turned and studied her daughter. "I think it would do good if you tried-"

"I said I wasn't glad he was dying, I didn't say that I want to be reconciled with the father who never wanted to be my father."

Freyja sighed. "Idunn-"

"What do you want me to say?! Brokk's never been interested in me, or any of my sisters. I am sad that he is dying, but I cannot forget that he ignored me- and all of us- until our marriages."

"Alright."

Idunn sank down onto the bed. "And I can't forget that..."

Freyja frowned and turned to her daughter, who was looking studiously at the floor. "What?"

"Sigyn spent the night there. With them. They have no respect-"

"Idunn, nothing happened when Sigyn stayed with them."

"How do you know?"

"She told me. As did Brokk. He at least would not conceal that from me."

"How would you know?"

"Because I know my dwarves, Idunn. And I know when they lie. A benefit from knowing them so long."

Idunn sighed. "I wish I could believe that."

"Sigyn's word does not convince you either?"

Idunn shook her head.

"Then maybe you should actually talk with her."

"I don't know what to say to her anymore... Mother... she says you do know who fathered her? you always told us you didn't..."

Freyja let out a long sigh. "It's easier to say that I do not."

"Why? What could possibly be so terrible?" Idunn's face was perplexed, but Freyja wouldn't even look at her!

"I just told Sigyn the truth, don't ask me to relive it again."

"Mor-"

"Idunn."

"Mor, I know you were forced, you told me that, how can a name change things so much?"

Freyja's expression darkened; Idunn actually shivered.

"Believe me, Idunn, a name can change everything." Freyja's voice was hollow.

"Was he at least punished?"

"Yes. Yes, that he was."

Idunn frowned, studying the crows feet that had just started to recently appear around her mother's eyes. "Why do you look so sad?"

"He did not truly deserve to be punished, and the true culprit may never face justice."

"Mor, what are you talking about?!"

"I've said too much." Freyja sighed. She sat down and took her daughter's hands. "Idunn, forcing me was his punishment. He had no choice in the matter, it was as the same as if we both were raped that night. No, we were both raped that night. The coercion he faced was exactly the same as if he was physically forced."

"How could somebody be forced to do something like that?"

"I will not burden you with more knowledge of this."

"No, you'll just leave me with a mind full of burning questions!"

Freyja stood up. "I am not talking about this anymore, not now. I need to finish packing. My dwarves need me."

"Your dwarves." Idunn rolled her eyes. "Do they know you refer to them as such?"

"I... I do not know. I suppose I'll have to ask them."

"Do they call you 'their' Vanir, then?" Idunn's words were a challenge.

"They might. But it doesn't matter, Idunn. If they do it's just a pet name. "

Idunn toyed with the ends of her blonde hair. Freyja opened her wardrobe and collected three of her least flamboyant gowns. Idunn folded her hands into her lap. "He really is dying, isn't he?"

"Did you think I was lying? "

Idunn shrugged. "You could have been. To try to get us to play nice."

"It's the truth. I know you don't like him, but he helped me lot."

"If you want... I could come, help you settle in... and I suppose I could visit every few days." Idunn twisted her hands. She didn't want to, but Brokk was her father. Technically.

"Brokk would appreciate that." Freyja said fervently.

"Mor... is he going to suffer?"

"I don't know."

"I can talk with the other girls, too. See if any of them will at least bring flowers or something."

"Thank you." Freyja stared at her hands for a long moment. "Why do these things always happen to me? What great sin have I committed... Oh, that's right. I'm a whore."

"Mother!" Idunn's hands flew to her mouth. "That is not true!"

Freyja looked at her, lines of sorrow and weariness etched at the corners of her eyes. Idunn was startled. She had never considered her mother old before! "I betrayed Ve with one of Chthon's servants after only three weeks of marriage. I never truly knew who Hnossa's father was."

Idunn's jaw dropped. "You never told us that."

"How could I?" Freyja's voice was dead, broken. "Hnossa had enough problems without having to doubt..."

"If he was a servant of Chthon, maybe you had a spell cast on you."

"Doubtfully. I was just a selfish, horrible-" she broke off, tears in her eyes.

Idunn put her arms around her mother. "You are not. You were only eighteen then. And you have never been selfish, in any time that I recall."

"Then you do not recall much."

Idunn sighed. "Are you just going to sit here feeling sorry for yourself, Mor? Thinking that you're useless isn't going to help Brokk."

"You're right." Freyja stood. "I think I have enough clothes for a few days at least."

Idunn linked her arm through Freyja's. "I'll come with you."

Freaks smiled her gratitude. They walked together to the dwarves shop, but Idunn hesitated before entering. When she did, she saw that Brokk and Eitri were both helping customers. Freyja walked through the store without giving them a second glance. Idunn was more hesitant to follow. She peered curiously at the shop's wares- she'd never really paid attention to their skill before, and was shocked at the range of products they could craft. She was just reaching for a lovely, but deadly-looking, dagger, unable to stop herself, when Eitri spoke behind her.

"What are you doing here, Lady Idunn?"

Idunn jumped and turned. "I- Mother asked me to walk with her."

Eitri eyed her critically. "You admire my handiwork?"

Idunn pressed her lips tightly together. Her 'uncle' wasn't going to get any praise from her until he started treating her sisters that he had sired like his daughters! "The gifts that the triplets got on their weddings. Were those made by you or him?"

Eitri's brow furrowed. "What were the gifts again?"

"I don't know. I wasn't paying attention."

Eitiri shrugged minutely. "It was always Brokk who gave gifts. He did choose some of my wares at times. But-" he cut off.

Idunn arched a brow. "But what?"

"I suppose I will have to take over that now, for his sake." He blinked back tears.

Idunn's heart went out to him, but it didn't make her soften. "Why bother? We don't keep them."

"I have said the same but Brokk is comforted by the fact you no longer destroy them in front of us."

"If you were in our situation- if your father had ignored you until your marriage- would you not be angry?"

Eitiri's brows rose. "Lady, there is no word in dwarfish for 'father'. Where we come from, mothers have all rights. Fathers do not exist."

Idunn blinked rapidly. "That sounds foolish to me."

"Brokk always believed it was because the women grew tired of having their men abandon them with babies." Eitiri shrugged. "It is our way. To the women of my home realm, the notion of fathers would seem foolish."

"Is that your and Brokk's justification for ignoring my sisters and I? That it was your peoples' custom?"

"We made it clear to your mother that we would not be fathers, and she made it clear to us that she did not want us to be. And I stand by that agreement. Brokk has had regrets... Especially now."

Idunn folded her arms. "Mother told us of your deal."

"Then why so angry?"

"It wasn't easy growing up in Asgard, where most people have two parents, and you only having one! Not that I expect you to understand that." Idunn folded her arms.

"Even if Brokk had wanted a deeper part in your lives, Freyja never would have allowed it."

Idunn had to admit that it sounded like her mother.

"He has wanted to break dwarfish traditions and marry her for years. Since before Lady Sigyn was born."

Idunn's jaw dropped. "He actually proposed?!"

"You mother was furious, the first few times. And then she started treating it like a joke. I am not sure what hurt him more..."

"Then why continue seeing her?"

Eitri shrugged. "Love makes fools of men."

"And what about you?"

"I have never felt that way. I know she would never return it."

Idunn sighed, knowing Eitri was right but not wanting to voice it.

"And what of you? What are you doing here? You never come here unless it us in anger."

"Mother is upset."

Eitiri narrowed his eyes, looking disbelieving. "And that concerns you because...?"

Idunn's lips pressed tight. "My mother concerns me more than you!"

"Do you even intend to see Brokk?" His voice was even.

Idunn looked away guilty. "Why should I?" she muttered petulantly. "Just because he's dying doesn't mean I forgive him."

Stony silence answered her.

"How is he?" She was genuinely curious, but her voice came out more sullen than she had intended.

Eitiri shook his head. "I have work to do."

"Answer the question!" Idunn scowled. "Please," she added as an afterthought.

"My brother is dying. I am not going to stand here listening to your scorn!"

Neither of them had noticed that Brokk had come within earshot. Freyja hovered just behind him, loking nervous. Brokk looked from his brother to his daughter, his eyes weary.

"What is going on in here?"

Idunn's shoulders hunched and she scowled. Let Etiri explain!

Eitri, however, looked at the floor. "Nothing," was the only word he muttered.

Brokk frowned between them, and then turned to Freyja. "I expect we'll be busy for a while. Perhaps you can come back later?"

"Are you sure?"

He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. "I'm not dying today."

Freyja responded with a very passionate kiss that made Idunn look away. "I'll be back."

Brokk nodded. Eitri turned his face away. Freyja took Idunn's arm again as they left.

#

"Can't this wait?" Nanna complained as all of the Freyjadottirs minus Sigyn waited in Idunn's house for Sigyn to arrive. "I have all sorts of things to do for the wedding! And I can't find Mor anywhere."

Idunn shook her head. "This is very important. Mor is... Well, Mor is going to need a little extra support for a bit."

"What's wrong?" Var asked, bouncing her baby girl, Skaldi, on her knee.

"Let's wait for Sigyn. I don't want to have to explain this more than once."

"Explain what?" Sign, eyes tired, walked slowly to join her sisters, a wan smile on her face.

Lofn scooted over on the sofa to make room for her, and she gratefully sat. She didn't look at Idunn. The eldest sister opened her mouth, but Syn started talking first.

"Sigyn, did you go and spend the night at those dwarves' shop?" she demanded.

"I... It's complicated." Sigyn mumbled.

"What?" Nanna looked confused. "Why would you go there? It's not like they've ever been fathers to us!"

"Can we-" Idunn started.

"Neither of them fathered Sigyn," Lofn interrupted, looking angry and disgusted.

"What?" Nanna looked at Sigyn, her face falling into horror. "Sigyn- you didn't!"

"No, I didn't!" Sigyn cried.

"But you spent the night with them!" Snorta replied. "What were you thinking?"

Sigyn buried her face in her hands. "Nothing happened! I was upset, I didn't know where else-"

"If you were mad at Mor, you could have gone to Uncle Frey's house, or your own!" Var put her baby on the floor, glaring at her younger sister. "Or any of our houses, or the palace chambers. You didn't need to go there!"

"I couldn't!"

"Why not?"

"Because all of you would ask questions that I didn't want to answer!" Sigyn shouted, making all of her sisters jump; she never lost control like this! "Frey has been in on it from the beginning, and I couldn't be alone! Why did I go to the dwarves? Yes, I went there to engage in carnal sin, but I wasn't thinking, they saw that and they didn't do anything! Why would I do that? Because I just found out that I was conceived when Mother was raped and I just didn't want to think! I couldn't stay at my house or go to the palace because Njord is here and guess what? He raped me, years ago and he was going to try it again just a few days ago until Brokk interrupted. SO NOW YOU KNOW!"

Var's baby was crying, she was so scared by all the noise. Sigyn's sisters all stared at her in shock as her expression slowly went from angry to horrified. Syn was the first to gather her wits. She put a shaky arm around Sigyn, who had buried her face in her hands.

"Oh, Sigs," Nanna whispered, tears in her eyes. She hurriedly went over to her and hugged her the best she could. Soon all of the Freyjadottirs were gathered around their sister, hugging her and crying. Var picked little Skaldi off the floor and tried to soothe her. Eventually, Sigyn raised her head, wiping tears off her face. She couldn't think what to say though.

"When?" Syn asked her softly.

"At Var's wedding," Sigyn mumbled.

Var went white. "I had no idea! Sigyn..."

"I'm sorry," Sigyn leaned into her sisters' embraces. "I didn't mean to say it like this."

Idunn stroked her little sister's hair, furious and confused. With all this suddenly dumped on her sisters... She couldn't tell them about Brokk, not now! Sigyn needed comfort!

Resolving to go and visit Brokk herself later, not his brother, she focused her attention back on her family.

"I miss Hnossa." Nanna murmured suddenly.

"So do I," Sigyn murmured. "She always knew what to do."

Idunn's eyes filled. I have no idea what to do. She toyed with the idea of going to get Freyja, but that wasn't fair, she had enough to worry about... Does Mor even know what happened to Sigyn?

"And he tried it again?" Nanna's voice was wobbly. "Maybe we had better stop hating the dwarves so much..."

Sigyn nodded, her voice sharp as broken glass. "Be glad that Mother at least wanted to conceive all of you."

Idunn sighed. Her sisters winced. Sigyn hid her face again.

"I'm sorry. "

"Don't be. You're in shock." Idunn took Sigyn's hand.

"What did you call us here for? I hope that it was not just for me."

"No." Idunn shook her head. "But it's not appropriate now."

Sjofn frowned. "That's not an answer."

"What is it?" Sigyn pressed.

Idunn hesitated. "Mor will be living with the dwarves for a few months."

They all glanced at each other in confusion.

"Brokk is dying."

Shocked exclamations were shared among the group. Nanna pressed her hands to her mouth, Sigyn went pale, the triplets had identical expressions of disbelief. Var busied herself checking Skaldi's diaper. Lofn leaned back, jaw open.

Syn was the first to recover. "We don't owe him anything."

"It's still sad," Snorta retorted. "Poor Mor... I know she cares a lot more than she lets on."

"I don't care," Syn muttered. "Nothing has to change."

Nanna reached into her pocked and pulled out a small box. Idunn recognised the type as being from the dwarves' wares. Her youngest sister opened it and frowned at the jewel inside. "I'm going to keep it."

Lofn nodded. "In a way, I wish I'd kept mine."

"I kept mine," Var admitted. "I didn't tell you, because I thought I was betraying you all."

"But you smashed it beneath your heel. I saw you." Sigyn's brows knit.

"I had a necklace made that looked like it. I wanted to keep it."

Snorta shifted uncomfortably. "You're not the only one."

"I smashed mine," Syn said.

"I sold mine," Sjofn added.

"Mine wasn't even from them," Sigyn wrapped her arms around herself. She glanced round at her sisters. "Why did none of you ever tell me that I wasn't conceived by the dwarves?"

Var sighed. "I can't speak for the others, but I thought it kinder that you didn't know."

"It probably was," Sigyn admitted.

"How did you find out anyway," Snotra ventured warily. "Did Mor tell you, or...?"

"Brokk was the one who told me that I was no kin to him. But Mor did tell me what happened."

Idunn winced. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Sigyn shook her head.

Nanna hugged Sigyn's knees. "I didn't know either. So at least not everybody in the family knew and didn't tell you, right?"

Sigyn smiled fondly at her. "At least there's that."

"Well," Idunn got to her feet. "While we're all here, we do have a few more things to discuss. First, the dwarves. I was thinking, we need to make sure Mor is getting a decent meal-"

"They're actually very good cooks," Sigyn sighed.

Idunn processed the information for a while. "They're probably not going to want to cook. So we can draw up a schedule for the eight of us to take them meals, as long as nobody objects." She waited. There was no movement from her sisters. "All right... If you don't want to do it, just let me know, alright? Secondly," here Idunn paused again. "Secondly, what are we going to do about Njord?"

Sigyn looked up. "What?"

"He is not getting away with what he did," Idunn said firmly.

Sigyn shook her head. "No. None of you should get involved. If he can do that to me-"

"Hnossa lived on Vanaheim for years," Syn said slowly. "Who's to say he didn't do that to her?"

Sigyn paled. She had never thought of that. She opened and closed her mouth. She could think of nothing to say.

"But what can we do?" Nanna asked, frowning. "We live in Asgard, he's the king of Vanaheim and our grandfather... I suppose we could try to kill him but I don't think I could."

"No, we won't kill him," Idunn exclaimed, alarmed. The last thing the family needed was executions for regicide!

"Mor might," Var muttered darkly. "If Uncle Frey found out-"

"He knows," Sigyn interrupted. "He promised me he wouldn't do anything. I would never forgive myself if something happened to him, - or any of you - because of this!"

"But we can't just forget all about it! He needs to pay!"

"I would rather have all my family safe together than revenge," Sigyn said sharply. "You lot are crazy and annoying, but you're all I have."

"Sigyn-"

"Let. It. Go. Please?"

The sisters glanced at each other.

"No," Idunn said. "We can't go for hundreds of years freezing out Brokk and Eitiri for not being fathers and then let this one slide."

Sigyn wanted to scream. "And what exactly are you going to do? It will be his word against ours!"

"Sigyn, it is amazing what rumours will do."

Sigyn's face paled. "I don't want-"

"We won't use your name," Var instantly reassured her. "Just that when one of us was a child we saw him attempting something that we didn't understand with one of this palace maids. And he threatened to kill us if we told - I am sure it was only a dream though."

"But if he hears..."

"Once rumours start spreading, if he lashes out at us, it will only make him look worse." Sjofn grinned darkly.

"He could do it in secret," Sigyn said softly.

"Sigyn, we are capable of looking after ourselves."

"That's what I thought, before..."

"He is not hurting you again," Lofn said firmly. "You can stay with any of us when you need to."

Sigyn smiled wanly. "Thank you..." Could I tell them my true parentage? Would any of them understand? Would Mother and Atum ever forgive me?

Nanna cleared her throat. "This is probably not the right time, but the wedding is coming really fast. Does everybody have their dresses ready?"

Sigyn smiled at her younger sister as the tension broke and everybody laughed. They started discussing the wedding, and the ache in Sigyn's chest eased a little bit. She looked at her sisters and was profoundly grateful for each of them. I should have said something long ago...