A/N: Before we begin, I'd like to tell you kiddies a story. Once upon a time there was a young authoress. She wrote fanfiction. Now, her stories weren't particularly good, as she was just starting out, but, one day, she had an idea! And a brilliant idea it was, too. In the next week she wrote a short, five chapter story about the homunculi from FullMetal Alchemist, and posted it all at once. It went over well. So well, in fact, that the reviewers begged her to write a sequel. So she did.

One long, life-sucking year later, she finished this sequel, which was nowhere near as good, but twice as long as the first one, which she had agonized over, which had hung over her head that whole year. This 10 chapter story got less reviews than the original, not because it wasn't good in its own merit (although not as good as the original), but because the people who had asked for this sequel didn't review it.

But this didn't bother the girl, because she was proud of this story, and she was sooooo relieved to have it done, and she vowed never to cater to reviewers ever again.

By coincidence, the day she posted the last chapter of Trying To Be Human (for that's what the story was called), she also posted a little Naruto story, a sweet little oneshot she had been working on.

It went over well. So well, in fact, that the reviewers begged for a continuation. Now, you'd have thought that she had learned her lesson, but this authoress was also a review whore, and it wasn't long before her old ways came bubbling back to the surface, and she began writing a continuation.

You're about to read it.

(The moral of this story is, of course, that this story will only be continued as long as reviews asking for such come in.)

Twirlygigs and Gizzards: An Unlikely Continuation of an Unlikely Romance.

Chapter 2: Post-Date Communications

"It was a rebound date!" Naruto explained confidently.

"She was having a good time, you said so yourself," moaned the heartbroken Rock Lee.

"She was with GAARA, Lee! You know Gaara, she couldn't have been having a good time. She must have been acting, she knew we were watching and wanted to make us jealous!" Naruto continued to explain, pushing Lee out the front door. "Now, go out there and show her what a sensitive, savvy, and all-around great ninja you are!"

Somewhat heartened by the assurances of his confidante, the young romantic set off to find Sakura and convince her of his undying love. He also thought it might not hurt to add that he would never consider forcing a lady to eat lizard parts of any variety on a romantic evening.

Naruto slammed the door shut with a sigh of relief. That had been close. He had a date that Lee had almost put him in danger of missing.

About twenty minutes later, Lee burst through the door, scaring Hinata to death. Immediately recognizing her cousin's brightly-garbed friend (if Neji could be said to have any friends, which Naruto always argued he didn't), the girl squeaked and made a dive Naruto's bedroom, hoping to hide under the bed, Naruto rushed after her, assuring her that Lee was on their side, and Lee followed them moaning like a lost soul.

"It wasn't Naruto-kun's fault!" Hinata wailed, trying to hide under the bed. "He's a nice boy, he wouldn't take advantage of me! Please don't tell anyone!"

"Hina-chan, it's all right! It's just Lee, he already knows! He's one of us!" Naruto tried frantically to yell over her.

"Nothing personal, she said. Sorry, she said," Lee kept repeating to himself, oblivious to the commotion. "You're a nice boy, Lee, she said."

Things settled down a bit, and the three kids sat on Naruto's bed, Hinata now composed, but using her recent panic attack as an excuse for Naruto to hold his arms around her while they tried to get Lee, sitting across from them, to talk, or at least stop staring into space.

"You're a nice boy, Lee, but I'm not interested," he sighed yet again. It had become a mantra for him. "Nothing personal.

"So... she turned you down?" Naruto guessed.

"Like a bedspread!" Lee moaned, almost slipping off the bed in despair. "One minute I'm telling her how much better she can do than Sasuke, and she's all ears, all "you're so right", and I thought I had her, I go to make my move, and BOOM! Nothing personal!"

Naruto sighed and squeezed Hinata, trying to think up a way to get Lee out without hurting his feelings. It wasn't that he didn't feel for the poor chap, but he and Hina didn't get to see each other much, and, well...

The phone rang.

"Hello, Naruto here dattabayo!"

"Naruto?"

"Yes?"

"Naruto?" the caller asked again in a hopeless, confused sort of voice, the verbal equivalent of staring into space.

"Yes?"

"Naruto," whined the caller.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Sasuke," he said in the same whining voice the phoner was using.

"My neighbors... they're... they're... get over here."

Naruto sighed, gazing longingly over at Hinata, who was watching with Lee from the doorway. "Can I bring some people?"

"I don't care, just come."

"Where do you live?"

"The Uchiha Mansion," Sasuke said in a "duh" type of voice.

Naruto rolled his eyes impatiently. "Yeah, well, I live at Chateau Uzumaki, that doesn't tell you how to get there, now, does it? Do you have, I don't know, an address?"

"Oh... uh... 619 Tenth Street."

"Good boy."

"Is this the right place?" Naruto asked uncertainly, looking at the house before him.

"619, this must be it," Hinata shrugged, ringing the doorbell.

"But, this place is HUGE!"

She looked the house over, unconvinced. "Fair-sized, I suppose."

Lee shook his head muttering, "Rich kids."

Just then, a pale-looking Sasuke opened the door a sliver. "Get in here, quick, before they see you," he whispered, letting the others in and leading them off down a hall.

"They?" Naruto asked. "Who's-, AH!" He halted as they turned into a room, throwing his arm out to keep Hinata a safe distance away.

"Oh my god!" Lee gasped, having a very similar reaction to Naruto's. "Sasuke, do you clean?"

Sasuke, already halfway through the kitchen, turned around, glancing around the cluttered, dust-covered room and the horrified expressions on his companions' faces. "Sometimes I take out the trash and pick the dirty clothes up off the floor of my bedroom."

With that, their guide plunged deeper into the house, forcing them to follow along, picking their way over Chinese takeout boxes, pop cans, and fungal growth. Hinata thought she saw some police tape buried under the filth and pressed closer to Naruto.

"My neighbors across the street are moving," Sasuke explained when they reached a dark, dusty, cobwebby bedroom. "And they're showing their house today, to-, to-," he broke off, handing Rock Lee a pair of binoculars and motioning for him to draw back the curtain and look out the window.

Lee did so, and went as pale as Sasuke. "But... but, that looks like..."

"You thought so, too?" Sasuke asked, eager to confirm his suspicions.

Naruto and Hinata were considering slipping off while the others were busy, but curiosity got the best of them. "Let me see, let me see!" Naruto ordered, grabbing the binoculars from Lee.

For the past week, the Sand Siblings had been looking at houses and, after narrowing down their selection to a few, they were going back to revisit their top choices, this time with Gaara in tow.

620 Tenth Street was by far Temari and Kankuro's favorite, and they were trying to impress their brother with its superior merits.

"We could put your room in the basement if you want, and then you could play DDR at night without waking up Kan-kan," Temari added happily, leading him to the back yard. "And it's got a pool!"

"And a tree house!" Kankuro put in.

Temari shook her head, rounding on her other brother. "How old are you, five?"

"You don't have to be little to appreciate tree houses!"

"And it's got three bathrooms, and one has a Jacuzzi."

"And a huge kitchen with a dishwasher, so no more arguing over who's turn it is to do the dishes!"

"And it's in great condition, we'd hardly have to do any work on it, and the neighborhood is really quiet,"

None of this seemed to be getting through to Gaara, and his brother and sister were rather perturbed about it. They really, really, really liked this house, and they wanted their brother to like it, too. Experience had taught them that Gaara's support was necessary for things like new homes.

"It's got hardwood flooring, very valuable," Temari continued as though any kid cared about what kind of flooring a house had, opening up the door to the backyard. "And look at that pool! Isn't it great?"

"Gaara, if we buy this house, Temari might drown, and we'd be free!" Kankuro added. Temari hit him. "ah! Hey, can't you take a joke? Ow, stop! Oof!"

Gaara didn't pay attention to his siblings' squabbling, just as he hadn't paid attention to the pool, the dishwasher, the finished basement, the Jacuzzi, or the hardwood floors. He glared with his usual angry glare at the ground, where, for the first time that day, something did catch his eye. He picked up the twirlygig, staring at it thoughtfully. Slowly, he looked up.

The backyard matched the size of the house. That is to say, it was rather large, and contained, aside from the pool, a huge old maple tree (the foundation for the treehouse that Kankuro was so fond of). It was this tree that next caught Gaara's eye. A gentle breeze moved though its branches, knocking down a few more of the twirlers.

"I think we should buy it," he decided.

Sasuke, Naruto, Hinata, and Lee were peeking anxiously out from the curtain, Hinata holding the binoculars. "They're in the dinning room... it looks like the girl is talking to the realtor... now she's signing something..."

"Can you see what it is?" Sasuke asked.

"Uh... some contract... it looks like they're making an offer."

Sasuke groaned. "Oh no. The Takatoris have been trying to sell that place forever. Anyone making an offer has as good as bought it!"

"Well, it shouldn't be too big a deal," Hinata said, trying to make things better. "You won't see too much of them, and they're only your neighbors. Who knows, you might even really like them, once you get to know them."

In response, Sasuke looked over at Naruto. "You didn't tell her about last week, did you?"

"Hinata," Naruto turned to her. "You know how we're trying to set Lee and Sakura up? Well, a funny thing happened the other day..."

Sakura lay down on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She was pondering an important question, and she didn't know who she could go to for advice. Really, the expert at this particular type of question was Ino.

Aw, what the heck, Sakura decided. Ino used to be a really good friend, it wouldn't hurt to call her up.

Sakura picked up her phone, just as it started ringing. "Hello?"

"Hello, Sakura!"

"Ino?" Sakura gasped, hardly believing it. She and Ino hadn't talked on the phone in years. "Whoa, that's so weird! I was just about to call you!"

"Really?" Ino sounded just as surprised as Sakura felt.

"Yeah, I needed some advice."

"Oh, well, go ahead."

"Oh, no, you called first. What's up?"

"Ok, I was lying on my bed, watching some rerun or something, and suddenly I had this, like, epiphany. I don't know how to describe it. It was like I could see everything, the whole world so clearly, and I realized, I don't care about Sasuke. I mean, he's cute, sure, but he's not really my type. For the life of me, I don't understand what I saw in him. So, I had this revelation, and I was going to call you up and tell you, 'forget it, Sakura-san, if you want Sasuke, go get him, you have my blessing,'"

Sakura interrupted, "actually, what I wanted to-,"

"But I reached for the phone, and I looked in the mirror, and it occurred to me that you... you're such a ... a bright, wonderful, glorious person. You just have so much to offer, and you've been throwing yourself at this boy who just doesn't deserve you."

"Uh, Ino?" Sakura started again, a little overwhelmed by the serious turn the conversation had taken.

"No, listen to me. Sakura, you always give yourself so little credit, you don't realize what an awesome person you are, and if Uchiha Sasuke can spend all this time with you in his cell and all and not see that, then his loss. Take this advice from an old friend. Go find somebody who loves you, who knows how lucky he is to have you, and stick with him."

Despite the unexpectedness of this revelation of Ino's, Sakura was touched. "Actually, Ino-san, I wanted to talk to you because I went out with this guy last week."

"Great! Good for you!"

"We both had a good time and all, but I haven't seen him at all since..."

"Is he shy?"

"I don't know. Maybe? I thought he was just quiet and awkward, like, he doesn't talk to girls much or something."

"Daw, I love awkward boys, they're so cute," Ino cooed.

"And... I had fun, and I was wondering if he wanted to do it again sometime, but I don't want to be too forward, and I don't want to make him go again if he doesn't want to, and..."

"Ah, post-date communications," Ino said wisely. "Always a little awkward... just call him up, ask if he wants to do it again sometime, give him your number, and tell him to call you back sometime."

"I didn't get his number," Sakura admitted.

"Oh... well, maybe I know him. What's his name?"

"You don't know him," Sakura assured her.

"Are you sworn to secrecy or something?"

"Look, Ino, I gotta go. Shoko's skinned her knee or something. Hey, thanks for calling! We should get together sometime, bye!"

Ino looked suspiciously at the phone. "Chouji," she said to her perennial accomplice in all things scheme-y. "I think Sakura is hiding something."

Chouji took a little time to swallow some chips he had been eating. "Like what?"

"Like a boyfriend," Ino clarified. "The question is, who? And why?"

They sat for a second in quiet thought, and then Chouji jumped. "I know! Remember how we went down to the practice courts last week, and she was arguing with Gaara?"

"Yeah," Ino said slowly. "And we thought she was going to die, but she didn't... you don't think...?"

"Yeah, I do. She must be dating his brother!"

"Of course!" Ino snapped her fingers. "Chouji, you're a genius!"

"That is really weird," Hinata admitted after being told the story of The Mysterious Time Lee, Naruto, and Sasuke Caught Sakura Hanging Out With Gaara. "But there must be some explanation."

Suddenly, the paleness disappeared from Sasuke's face. "Wait, why am I so upset? With them next door, we can finally find out what was actually going on."

"The plan is genius!" Lee exclaimed. "Sasuke, you must call us the minute they move in. We shall get to the bottom of this!"

The realtor had assured the three siblings that they would be in full possession of their house in no time; she knew how desperate the Takatoris were to move out. So, feeling that their mission to Konoha was almost complete, the trio began the walk back to their hotel.

After going a few blocks, Gaara stopped. "There's something I need to do. I'll meet you back at the room."

Temari shrugged and kept walking. Kankuro kept walking, but he did wonder. "Hey, does he have his key with him?"

Temari shrugged again. "His problem, isn't it?"

Through some twist of karma, Shoko had skinned her knee about half an hour after Sakura used the lie to get off the phone with Ino, so the two girls were sitting on the porch swing, the younger sister with her leg stretched over the older sister's lap.

"See, Shoko-chan, it's not so bad. Look, it's stopped bleeding already!"

Shoko turned the same shade of pink as her hair and tried to hide behind her sister. Sakura turned around. Her sister always behaved this way around strangers.

"Gaara?"

"Hi."

Sakura's mouth dropped open, and she closed it again quickly. She didn't quite know how to handle this kind of conversation.

"Do you have any plans for tomorrow?" Gaara asked, "Because I'm getting sick of watching television in the hotel room."

"No!" Sakura gasped. "I mean, no, I don't have any plans, do you want to get together?"

The necessary arrangements were made, and Gaara left. Shoko came out from her hiding place behind her sister and poked her. "Sakura-chan, why are you still blushing? He's gone."

"I'm not blushing!" Sakura protested, turning red. Shoko just giggled.